I feel a nudging on my shoulder, soft hands slowly shaking me awake. I smile and roll over onto my side. I peel my eyelids from one another and blink a few times to be able to see clearly. After the hazy clouds fade away, I see dark green eyes looking back at me with a slick smile playing on the person's face. I quickly realize who it is and start screaming, pushing myself back from the figure. My throat is raw and I lose my ability to scream quickly, but I feel the pain in my chest doubling from it. I kick out my feet from underneath me and scoot myself backwards till I'm sitting against the tree underneath the shoddy shelter.
"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" It's like I have sandpaper coating the inside of my throat and I feel stinging tears flow down the angles of my face. I see him in front of me slowly getting up, crawling over toward me, silent. My body is shaking uncontrollably and I start hyperventilating. What do I do? How do I stop him?
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He still comes closer and he begins to laugh. It's starts out quiet but grows into this deep dark laughter only a psychopath would have.
"HELP ME!" I scream again and this time I feel a sharp pain. I look down at my leg and it's bleeding out quickly and the red is spreading out into a pool beneath me. Before I can comprehend I how I was injured, I grab at my arm and feel another sharp pain. I grunt with aggravation and see it's also bleeding. I put pressure onto my arm with my hand and squeeze. I look back at his face and the once dark green eyes are now black pits that match his dark slick hair. I see he holds an open knife in his hand and watch in terror as he twirls it around his fingers, slipping fragilely between them without marking his olive skin.
He holds out the knife and smiles, shielding his teeth with tight lips.
"ZEKE STOP!" I scream out, my voice not even human sounding anymore.
He inches closer, daring to frighten me even more. I feel my lungs slowly giving out on me. It's like I've forgotten how to breath, and I can't remember.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yell out to him.
I look across the twelve inches between us and hear him finally speak.
"Wake up Tris." He says and his face is no longer smiling. Instead there is a sincere look replacing the smug murderous one.
I shake my head and tell him again, "Get away from me," with a calmer tone than before. I still don't realize what's going on, and his hands are on my arms shaking me violently.
"WAKE UP!" He yells in frustration.
I don't understand. Beads of sweat run along my forehead, slipping down the curve of my face.
"WHAT?!" I respond.
He continues shaking me, thrashing me back against the tree. I close my eyes and breathe heavily. I focus on the smell of the forest, not Zeke, not the pain in my back, not the screaming; I only focus on air.
I open my eyes again and everything has changed. The savage boy that once was pushing me against a tree is now replaced by Tobias. I see the tattoo peeking out from underneath his collar, black against tan. I move my eyes up and meet his. He looks scared. He moves his arm from my shoulder to my neck. He brings me close and holds me tightly. It's like two worlds crashing together; reality and a nightmare. I let out rugged breaths and gasp for air that seems to be vacant. I push around the salvia in my mouth and stop from trying to make sense of things. I just grab Tobias and pull him close to me. I feel his breaths on the nap of my neck. Grabbing at his T-shirt, I slowly pull myself together.
"It's ok," He whispers into my ear. He pats down my tangled mess of blond and holds me close.
"I'm here, everything is ok."
I nod and sit there for a moment, in his arms. I swallow hard to fight back the tears. I've already shed too many. I'm not weak. I'm not weak. Zeke is not going to shake me. I softly push Tobias back and leave his warmth.
"I'm fine," I say, eye level to him now, more forced than I meant to.
"Ok, sorry," He says offended, raising his hands.
I heave in a big breath and try to calm down my racing heart rate. I feel like someone who was drowning and just sucked in a sliver of air.
"I fine," I repeat.
I place my hand down and let it prop me up. I know it was just a nightmare, but it felt so real. I could feel the heat from Zeke's breath when he kept bashing me against the tree, his hands overpowering me, not being able to shake him off, and not being able to protect myself. I know it's been awhile since I have been in my fear landscape, I don't know if I've lost any of my fears. I'm not sure if I still fear Tobias, even if I don't want to. But I know, I know, that Zeke has to be one of them. I use my other hand to wipe of off the sweat that has formed on my brow.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me quietly.
I can't see anyone around us. Uri is probably working on the new shelter, and seeing as how the sun is hung so lonesome in the middle of the sky, I'm guessing that Christina is eating. I do know, however, that Zeke is still tied up, as he was last night, except now his back is facing me and he moves his legs that were once folded underneath him, out in front of him. I can see the edges of his body, peeking out from behind the solid palm tree, across the way.
I gaze back to Tobias and nod my head. My blond hair ripples from behind my ear, where I had just tucked it, to loosely hang in the air. I take in another deep breath and only focus on Tobias.
"I-uh-was being attacked," I say quietly, slowly letting the words form.
"I-," I sniff and take another deep breath, "It felt so real Tobias."
He scoots over close to me and engulfs me in his arms. The tender touch of his fingers, rub up and down my back and I can feel his heart racing as he touches me. I know that he cares about me, and he hates that he can't really help me. That's the one thing about nightmares, only you really know what it feels like. I separate from him, but still gingerly hold his hand. I play with his fingers entwined in mine and continue.
"Zeke… was the one who attacked me."
He pulls back his hand from mine and lets out a forced breath through his nose. I see the anger in his eyes. It's the same look as in initiation when I told him about Peter, when I told him they touched me. I shudder at the memory.
"Tris, I'm so sorry—I wish I could make it all go away, I wish this never happened. But it did. I can't forgive Zeke for what he's done to you. And I can't stop him from hurting you in your nightmares. I wish I could do somethi—"
"I know," I interrupt his shouting, "I know, I just want you to be by my side to tell me it's going to be ok."
He lifts his hand to my face and cradles it, letting the other one prop him up. He closes the space between us and softly applies pressure to my lips. He moves closer to me, pressing his body against mine and I slowly let my hand lose its locked position, meant to keep me up, and let us fall down onto the dirty ground beneath us. He is barely on top of me, only enough to keep us tasting each other and resisting the urge to breath, not wanting to break this moment.
He pulls away from me and looks me in the eyes. His face blocks the sun, and he has a sudden glow around him. I'm squinting my eyes, but refuse to stop looking at him. He bends down and tickles my nose gently with his wet lips. It's only a small peck, but I still feel like I might explode.
He licks his lips and leans down to put his mouth next to my ear. I close my eyes and listen to his warm breath as whispers quietly, "I will always be by your side Beatrice Prior."
Author's Note:
Hi guys! Sorry for the shortish chapter. Thanks for all the reviews! I love knowing that someone actually is reading my stories out there, plus letting me hear an honest opinion about how to fix it, or what they would like seen in the fanfic. Hope you guys are having an awesome summer! Stay awesome and hug a tree!
~Razben