A/N Guys I'm sorry I think I unintentionally lied. The early parts to this chapter ended becoming so much longer than I expected it to be, so I've had to split it. More at the end so I don't give anything away.

Chapter Eleven

My Sarah

20:00 hours

August 25th

Dam Neck Annex

Virginia Beach

Virginia

United States

Chuck was getting ready to turn in his duties for the night when he received a transmission request from his father, they had been in discussion for several minutes now about military matters and the young Commander received further orders from his father informing him that his troop would be acting as a rapid reaction force onboard his father's Aircraft Carrier for two weeks while Red Squadron were stood down for some R&R state side before joining up with the rest of Gold Squadron who would deploy straight away to their final destination in Baghdad.

The Admiral was now speaking to his son about events that had occurred earlier in the day.

Chuck could only shake his head as he began to rage at his XO and best friend's betrayal "This is Morgan isn't it! I'll fucking kill him!" Chuck fumed.

"Son, go easy on him, it must have been hard for him, he loves you as if he were your brother."

"He had no business to do what he did!"

"You're wrong Commander. You cant deploy into combat until you've got your affairs in order, you're all over the place son." The Admiral paused, before proceeding to implore his son to see reason. "I want you to clear the air with Sarah Chuck, just hear her out okay? Surely now you can see that there was a reason outside of your control for why she actually left you, and not the one she gave you at the time, which if being frank, was a load of bullshit."

Chuck was still looking uneasy on the subject and sensing that, his father pressed on once more, "I can give you it in the form of an order if that's what you want me to do Chuck. But I would prefer that we do this father to son. Clear the air with her, you can't live in the past all your life holding a grudge, you need to move on from it son."

Sighing, knowing deep down that his father was right, Chuck continued the conversation "Dad, look, you're right, okay I get it. But I don't have much to say to her. Am I supposed to just forget all of what she said and pick up from six years ago and pretend that we're happy families again because she's back in town and suddenly wants to talk to me again?"

"Nobody is expecting that of you son. But you need to lose the grudge, you need closure once and for all. You're a United States Navy Commander now, you have responsibilities, you're not just a man who got his heart broken anymore."

"aye sir."

"Oh, one more thing before I go, call your mother she misses you. Love you son."

"You too dad." And with that, the Admiral ended the transmission, leaving Chuck to lean back in his chair taking a deep sigh as he planned his next move.

August 26th

Dam Neck Annex

Virginia Beach

Virginia

United States

It was now the morning after the Admiral's intervention, which seems to have happened several times already, which was quite worrying for Chuck, as his mind began to come to conclusions.

As Chuck entered the mess hall, there was only about two dozen people left on base, most of the Squadron had turned in for the weekend and were back in their family homes with their families, unfortunately for Chuck, he had no family, so here he was. He noticed Sarah and sighing, as he still felt uneasy in regards to her, he walked over to her.

"Good morning." he said, as he arrived within distance of his former lover.

"Good morning Commander." Sarah couldn't help but say while beaming a bright smile, as that's how she feels whenever she sees his face, which made Chuck feel even more uneasy, as everything she does reminds him of the past life that the lovers shared for four years before she tarnished it all with a few simple words.

Still feeling extremely awkward in regards to talking to his former lover that he hadn't seen for six years and the manner in which they split up, the Commander pauses, as he leans forward onto the table, just in front of her, which caused Sarah to do a double take and become extremely anxious herself.

Sighing, Chuck opened his mouth to talk "Sarah," He says pausing, as it's the first time he's called her by her name since they have been reunited with each other.

Hearing Chuck call her by her name caused Sarah to lose her breath as lumps began to form in her throat. Oh how she's missed hearing him call her name, this feels like heaven to her, she gazes longingly into his eyes forgetting about everything as he continues to talk to her.

"there's no easy way to go about starting this," He says, pausing before continuing "so here goes; Do you think we could like, maybe you know, talk?" Chuck manages to complete very jittery, which is stupid as he's a Navy Seal. He has been through eighteen months of incredibly challenging mental and physical torture, has been involved in major conflicts, killed people, watched friends die, engaged in hand to hand combat, but he's never felt as exposed and as nervous as he is feeling right now, except one other time, but more on that later...

And here it is, the first bit of hope that Sarah has had since she set eyes on him again two weeks ago.

"I'd like that Chuck." Sarah replies as she emits a huge smile once more that could ALMOST melt all of Chuck's walls that he has between himself and his former lover. Sarah invites Chuck to take a seat.

Chuck looks around the mess hall briefly, seeing men under his command all glancing at their CO. And unwilling to let anybody else except Sarah and himself be privy to what they have to say, he quickly dismisses her invitation, "Noo, not here, how about in my quarters, when you're free, if that's okay?"

"I'm free now." Sarah replies instantly, having not taken her eyes off him once since he came up to her.

"Okay great, shall we say thirty minutes?"

"Sure." Sarah shoots back in response.

Thirty minutes later

Sarah was outside the door of Chuck's quarters, she'd spent the last few minutes trying to build herself up to knocking. Sarah's stomach is turning, she has butterflies and she feels sick. Her former lover, not by a coincidence, was doing and feeling the exact same things on the other side of the door, as he paced around his office trying to find composure, unsuccessfully.

Sighing as Sarah tries to shake off all of her nerves, she knocks on the door to her former lover.

"Come in." She hears Chuck say, in a much softer tone than the one he had used days previously.

Sarah opens the door, as a sudden feeling of anxiety once more takes hold of her. "Hi" is all Sarah can say, she can't think of anything to say, what can you say to start a conversation with somebody you broke up with six years ago?

Though in her defence, neither can Chuck "Hi" he replies back to her, as they look into each others eyes quickly becoming lost once more for probably the millionth time this action has been performed since they first met ten years ago.

"Take a seat?" Chuck says eventually, as he is forced to snap out of his gaze before he does or says something he regrets as he nervously also takes a seat. They are both seated now, still looking into the eyes of one another for at least half a minute before they awkwardly both go to speak at the same time.

"You go first." Sarah quickly replies, not wanting to start the first proper conversation they've had in six years, the last time she tried that outside the CIA briefing room, it didn't go well...

Chuck laughs briefly, still feeling incredibly anxious "Gee, thanks." He manages to joke, followed by a giggle from Sarah.

"Ok, look," He starts, thinking what he wants to say, "I just want to apologize for my abrupt nature the past few weeks. I've let my personal feelings come between our professional relationship and for that I apologize. You have been sent here to liaise with my team, and If I spend the entirety of your time with us holding a grudge against you, it's not going to work, and I'm going to dismiss all your input, which could cost lives, and that's not a sacrifice I'm prepared to make, so for that, I'm sorry." He manages to get out all in one breath as he now begins to gasp desperately for air.

"Chuck, you don't need to apologize. It can't have been easy for you to find out that I work for the CIA like that."

"No, it wasn't." Chuck admits rather sharply.

Sarah immediately began to mope and hang her head in shame for a brief moment before looking back up at him with puppy eyes knowing she'd done something wrong which almost causes Chuck to choke, he hadn't seen that look in a long time...

"It wasn't easy for me to find out you're a Navy Seal either." Sarah eventually says softly.

"True, I guess we both got a little more than we bargained for there huh." Chuck says with a slight chuckle.

"Absolutely." Replies Sarah, to which Chuck says "heh." in response.

"Can I ask you a question Chuck?" Sarah asks sweetly.

"Sure." He says nodding his head in response while the two former lovers continued to gaze at each other.

"I thought you hated the Navy?"

Chuck sighed on hearing Sarah's question. There was absolutely no way he was going to expose himself too much to her, this is the woman who crushed and stamped on his heart after all, but he actually felt a bit better in himself for this so far, so divulging a little bit wouldn't hurt too much, if it means he can finally close this chapter in his life and move forward.

"Sarah," Chuck says before pausing to think briefly. "I'm not going to lie to you, what you did and said to me that day, and how you behaved in the weeks after, not returning any of my calls, it crushed me..." Chuck stops, wanting to add more but his defence mechanisms kick in to stop himself showing his vulnerable state.

Chuck still looking into Sarah's eyes as they hadn't took their gaze from one another since they both sat down noticed that Sarah's eyes were becoming watery, and quite frankly, Chuck melted a little inside seeing her like this. Chuck can't ever recall Sarah crying in front of him in all the years he had known her except maybe two or three occasions. Chuck recalls being with Sarah being at the fairground one day, and he recalls there bring a brief outburst but other than that and one or two more times, he's never seen her this emotional.

"I'm so sorry Chuck." Sarah says emotionally before wiping her eyes with her hand before continuing, "This was never supposed to happen, I did it to protect you. I didn't want you anywhere near the CIA, or me, after the things I'd already done for them."

Chuck began to tense up inside, he simply couldn't accept that. If Sarah truly thought anything of him, she would have consulted him, and involved him in the discussion, he had a right to an opinion, she took that away from him and made the decision for him.

"Sarah, tell yourself that if it makes you feel better, we was together for four years, we lived together for two years and you didn't even include me in your decision, you made my mind up for me, what you did was selfish." Chuck says rather harshly, he could see Sarah was in a terrible state right now, and he'd never seen her like this in her entire life but is she honestly trying to tell him that cutting him out of the equation and making a life changing decision for him was anything other than an act of selfishness?

"Chuck, I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry." Sarah replied as she wiped as she wiped her eyes and sniffled her nose.

Sighing to himself, Chuck knew that there was no point dwelling on past mistakes and they needed to try to move forward if they were going to continue to work together.

"Sarah, I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did to me. If you truly loved me, you would have let me make my own decision, I would have stayed by your side until the day I died regardless of who you were, or what career you had, the love I had for you was so much deeper than some petty small time things like that..." Chuck's rant and ramble was interrupted by Sarah, "I killed a man Chuck." Sarah said as she began to sob.

Chuck tensed up once more. How can you respond to that? Chuck entered into a state of shock. His Sarah could never hurt another human being, she couldn't even kill an insect...

Chuck really didn't know what to say or how to respond to his former lover... "Sarah, I don't know what you want me to say…." Was all Chuck that could manage, as he was shell-shocked.

"Tell me you hate me, anything, I deserve it." Sarah said emotionally to her former lover.

"Sarah… I could never hate you, I don't even know how I feel any more. I don't even know who I am any more. Do you want to know how many people I've killed? I couldn't even tell you, I have lost count..."

The two former soulmates continued to look into each others eyes once more and see nothing but pain and suffering while they are both oblivious to the fact that even if they can't see it themselves, they need each other, more than anything. Without each other, they're just a shallow existence of what they used to be...

To be continued…

Next chapter continues on, and could even be a three parter.