(Disclaimer: I not own Family guy, Phineas and Ferb songs or John and Tyler, only Frank and Frank Jr.)
Chapter 38: A Fish Out of Water
Opening Credits
It seems today that all ya see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those good, old-fashioned values
On which we used to rely
Lucky there's a Family Guy!
Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh n' Cry
He's
a
Fam
-ily
Guy!
End
As we join Lois entering her house to see her Jobless, unmotivated, and depressed, Peter who has becomes morbidly obese with Frank becoming Chuckie. Just because he is Saiyan and he can lose the weight easily with training.
"Frank and Peter, this is ridiculous. I know you're both upset about losing your jobs, but you've two been sitting on that couch for two weeks. Lois said as she is complaining again.
"We have not, Mom." Frank said in a fat toon like Gabriel Iglesias.
"He's right. It's actually been more like...yeah, 13 days." Brian said as he took a newspaper out of peter's fat layers.
"Well you two at least have do something other than sitting there eating." Lois said about them doing something instead of eating.
"All right, all right. Frank Jr, Frank and Brian, let's go for a walk." Peter said as the gang went to go to docks as Forklift beeping Brian lifted peter while Frank walks after them with the help of Frank Jr.
As Lois close the door, Persephone and Meg ran in to the couch while Sobbing about their horrible day.
"Persephone, Meg, sweethearts, what's wrong?" Lois questions them.
"Our life. That's what's wrong. We were totally humiliated at school today." Meg said as she set up a cutaway.
Cutaway
We see Meg and Persephone's class at the gymnasium.
"We're gonna do an informal survey here, kids. Would those who are going away for spring break please move to the left of the room?" Principal Shepard directed as all but John, Tyler, Meg and Persephone moved to the left.
"Oigan, quienes van a spring break, pasen a la izquierda, por favor" Shepard translated as the janitor moved to the left as well.
Cutaway Ends
Oh, Meg, Persephone, what do those kids know? John said to help them out of their pain.
"They know how to have a good time." Persephone said in a sad tone.
"Well, so do we. I'll tell you what. How about you and I have our own little spring break?" John said as Tyler cheered for the idea.
"Road trip guys!" Tyler said as he dresses like Goofy in goofy movie.
"We'll go to that fancy new spa that just opened up in Warwick. Massages and facials. Ah! It'll be great. What do you say?" Lois said trying to make them have fun for spring break.
"I guess it couldn't be worse than last year when we all went to Sea World." Meg and Persephone said as they set another cutaway.
Cutaway
The Griffins go to Sea World. A whale licks Lois' cheek as she laughs. However, Peter punches the whale away.
"And how long has this been going on?!" he asked angrily.
Cutaway Ends
At down at the docks with Brain, Frank Jr, Frank and Peter by "walk" towards it with assisted by Brian and a forklift.
"Lois is right. We've been out of work too long." Peter said as they look towards the sea.
"I think you two should find something you really enjoy doing. Take those guys out there, for example." Brian said as he points at something that could work for Frank and Peter.
"Where?" Frank asked as Frank Jr used the forklift to move the toward two fishermen on a boat.
"Oh, yeah. Now, that's a job. Fresh sea air, working outside. That's how a real New England man makes a living." Peter said while Frank just in response.
"Well, maybe that's something to think about, Frank and Peter." Brian said as Tom Tucker and his weird son come by.
"What's that, Daddy?" Jake Tucker asked his father.
"That's Mercury and his lost moon, Jake. The planet closest to the sun. What These Two Things doing down here by the wharf, I haven't the foggiest. We should probably ask a scientist..." Tom Tucker answer Jake question as both Frank Jr and Peter get piss off.
"These planets are People, you jackass!" Frank Jr shouted at tom tucker as he kicks them away with is super strength.
At the Griffin yard, the family was bathing Peter since he can fit in the bath room. As Frank just finish losing those 8 pounds in 2 weeks.
"Yeah, that feels good." Peter said as Chris mist's him with the watering hose. While John and Tyler scrub Peter's Large tummy.
"Chris, don't forget to mist under his chins. And John and Tyler, really look down that bellybutton for the dirty parts. " Lois said as Frank Jr and Stewie got out of Peter's back as they gasp for air.
"Oh, boy, Lois! It's a real mess down there." Stewie said as he explains what happened with Peter's back.
"I'm afraid we're not going to be able to do this in the time we quoted you earlier." Frank Jr said as they waddle away to get clean.
"Chris, shut the hose off for a second. Everybody, I have an announcement. Just as frank lost his weight, I too will drop this weight and rejoin the workforce. Me and Frank have decided to become professional fishermen." Peter said as he resolves to lose the weight, as he and Frank become fishermen.
"What? Why fishermen?" Lois question them about this choice.
"It makes perfect sense, Lois. You know how much time I've spent on the ocean." Peter said as the set a another cutaway.
Cutaway
The flashback shows Peter as castaway, adrift on raft, talking to a volley ball is a parody of the 2000 film Cast Away.
Wilson! What are we gonna do now? Wilson! Wilson! Peter yelling at the ball.
My name is Voit, dumb ass. Voit said The volleyball shouts back, as this is a reference to the Voit Corporation, another sporting goods company.
Cutaway Ends
"Hello, Doreen? Yeah, Me and Junior are still over at the Griffin job. Listen, tell Walter We're not going to be able to make it to the construction site." Stewie said as he passes the cellphone to Frank Jr because Doreen asked for his response.
"I don't know. Have him send Frank, or Glen, or Harelip Steve? I know, it creeps me out, too." Frank Jr said as he and Stewie shudder by Harelip Steve.
Now we join the gang as Joe takes Frank and Peter to a police seized-property auction.
"So you think I can find a boat here, huh, Joe?" Frank asked Joe about getting a boat.
"Yeah. You wouldn't believe what we confiscate from these crooks." Joe said as he explains on what kind of stuff the police get from crooks.
"Welcome. We open today's bidding with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute." Auctioneer said as he bids a prostitute's panties.
"$50!" Quagmire shout his price.
"She had nine STDs." Auctioneer explains her diseases.
"$45." Quagmire lower his price.
"And when we caught her, she wet herself." Auctioneer explains that the girl has wet herself when caught.
$50. Quagmire raised his price again.
"Excuse me. Are you gonna sell anything that's not gross?" Cleveland said as he and his boys Menma and Negi were getting gross out.
"And now our next item. Please direct your attention to this photo of a beautiful 40-foot fishing boat." Auctioneer said as he shows a photo of a beautiful 40-foot fishing boat.
"Oh, man! That's perfect!" Frank said that photo would look good in the living room.
"$12,000!" Man shouted his price.
"$13,000!" Peter shouted his price.
"$25,000!" Man 2 shouted his price.
As Peter Whimpering at losing the picture.
"$30,000!" Frank shouted his price as he wins the picture.
"Sold for $30,000!" Auctioneer said as he responded to Frank's response.
"Yes!" Frank shouted in victory as he run up stage to collect his prized.
"Crap!" Peter shouted at his lost.
"Thanks." Frank said as he leaves the stage with the photo of the boat.
"And now the actual boat itself. Do I have an opening bid for the boat?" Auctioneer said as he give out the real boat out for sale.
"$50,000!" shouted his price to wins the boat for $50,000.
Sold for $50,000! Auctioneer said as Peter buys a boat for $50,000
"Good for you, Peter." Joe said as he congratulates him.
As the people Applause peter as it tones down till One person clapping.
"Congratulations. You've just bought yourself a cursed boat." Seamus said.
"Cursed?" Peter asked the tough fisherman with wood for arms and legs.
"The last captain of that vessel lost his life. And it weren't no accident! His name was Salty. And he was devoured by Daggermouth, the man-eating blowfish. You want to buy that boat? Go ahead. But don't expect me to fish your dead body from an angry sea that gave you fair warning." Seamus said as he explains Peter Griffin that the fish killed his friend, Salty, another fisherman.
"Are you up for bids, too? You are just precious." Peter said as he finds Seamus really amazing.
As we join the family outside as Lois, John, Tyler, Meg and Persephone go on spring break to a spa.
"Are you gonna miss me?" Lois said in loving tone.
"Only until I go to the newsstand and buy a Hustler." Peter said in a loving tone and it was weird. As Lois enters the driving seat read to go.
"All right, I left you the number for the spa. See you in a few days." Lois said as she explains to Peter about the number and they will see them in a few days.
"Not if we strangle myself with a seaweed wrap and die." Persephone said as Meg nodded while John and Tyler looked worried.
"You are dark Persephone, while Meg I want you to have the best time as I take Care of our son Frank Jr!" Frank said his goodbyes to his wife and her sister. As they drove away from the house.
"Junior, mommy loves you!" Meg shouted out of the car as she waves goodbye to the best thing she ever made from herself and her husband.
"Pops, you haven't told me how you expect to pay for that boat." Frank asked him about how he is paying his boat.
"Don't worry, Frank. There's got to be 100 banks that'll give me a loan." Peter said.
As Gunfire and screaming in the background, we join Peter takes out a dubious loan from Jim's Bank To pay for the vessel.
"Wow! So, you can really give me a loan?" Peter:
"I sure can. You see, Mr. Griffin, what sets us apart from other banks is that other banks are banks. Now, I trust you have collateral." Jim Kaplan said as he is scamming Peter.
"Um, I got three kids and half saiyan Grandson." Peter said in response
"I'll take them. Just kidding. Or maybe I'm not. Sign this. Here you go. Good luck!" Jim Kaplan said as peter sign the contract and was given a bag of money.
As he leaves Jim Kaplan hears Bell ringing, he goes to his tattoo parlor while changing into his Tattoo Artist look to give a biker a tattoo.
"So, what do you want on your thigh?" Jim Kaplan asking the biker on what tattoo he wants.
"I want a skull." Biker said.
"Okay. Well, I can draw Kermit the Frog. How about a nice Kermit the Frog?" Jim Kaplan said in response since he can do only Kermit the Frog.
"No. I want a skull." Biker said to that response.
"Okay, well, I'm gonna go ahead and do Kermit the Frog." Jim Kaplan said until the biker stops him.
"that's it, I'm calling my other guy!" the biker said as he calls the other guy who does tattoos in quahog. As it reveals it was Frank Jr was the other person who does tattoos for a live and scam the scammers.
"It's a living!" Frank Jr said as he doing the bikers tattoo.
Meanwhile at Warwick's spa & bath, we join Lois and her girls relaxing in their mud baths while John and Tyler relax in a hot tub.
"Mom, this is so lame." Persephone complains about this spa.
"Come on, Persephone. Try to have fun. I promise after a few days here you won't even remember the words "spring break"." Lois said as Persephone signs.
"How about some TV?" Meg said as she turns on the TV.
"This is MTV and we're rocking at spring break!" MTV VJ said on the MTV channel showing spring break as Meg change the channel.
"This is VH1 and we're rocking at spring break." VH1 VJ said on the VH1 channel showing spring break as John got out of the hot tube to change the channel.
"...leaving thousands injured. For CNN, I'm Bernard Shaw...keeping it real and kicking ass at spring break! Whoo!" Bernard Shaw said as he ribs his clothes off as he hops at the ocean showing everyone was enjoying spring break.
As Meg and Persephone sighing in disgust while John and Tyler think of a plan to help the girls.
"There she is, boys. The S.S. More Powerful than Superman, Batman, Spiderman, and the Incredible Hulk Put Together." Peter said as we join the gang at the port with peter saying the name of his boat. As a sailor come in to comment on the boat.
"Yes, she's a fine vessel. Welcome to the wharf. Name's Hennessey." Hennessey said as he introduces himself as he shakes Peter's hand.
"Hi there, Peter Griffin, my friends call me Peter for short and this is my Son in law, Frank Mallque." Peter said as he shakes Hennessey's hand.
"I'll let you in on a little secret, neighbor. The best fishing is at latitude 42, longitude 71. Keep that to yourself." Hennessey said as he gives them a location to fish.
"Oh, wow! Thanks. We'll see you, fellows. we got some fish to catch." Frank said as they went to Latitude 42 to get some fishes.
"Let's see. Latitude 42, longitude 71. This is it. What the hell?" Peter said as they arrive at a Bar Mitzvah. This resulted Peter unintentionally running over Mordecai the Dancing Yiddish Clown.
"Papa, he killed Mordecai the Dancing Yiddish Clown!" Boy said who became a man.
"Stop crying! You just became a man. Now, act like one!" Father complain to his son that he just became man and shouldn't be crying.
As we join at the port with Hennessey talking to his boys.
"Hey, Hennessey, what's the big idea sending me to that Bar Mitzvah?" Peter shouted at him as he returned from that Bar Mitzvah.
"Because I don't like you! And I don't like your face! We don't need any more fishermen crowding up this wharf!" Hennessey said as he made an enemy with Frank and Peter.
"Oh, well, fine, Hennessey! You want an enemy, you got one!" Frank said as he shoves fishes in Hennessey's pants
"Fine!" Hennessey said as he walks away with fish in his pants.
"There we are. Hey, Steve, you ever think of growing a moustache?" Stewie said to Harelip Steve scrape Mordecai the Dancing Yiddish Clown off the S.S. More Powerful Than Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and the Incredible Hulk Put Together, the boat belonging to Stewie's father Peter Griffin, by providing a rowboat.
As we join Peter and Hennessey selling fishes at the port.
"Nice fish you got there, Griffin. What are you selling? Your bait?" Hennessey said.
"Uh...Nice face, Hennessey. Yes! Me, one. You, zero. Hey!" Frank said as he run to get the fish that Hennessey threw, as He also used a sign at Griffin's fish stand to tell people that Peter had sex with the fish he catches.
Wow! How do you do it? Man asked them.
"You're very nice to ask. First I hang the old worm out there. They usually go for it. So, I jerk them around a little. They fight for a while. And then they just lay back and accept it." Peter said as he explains how he gets his fishes.
"How about we get together later?" Man said as he gives peter his number call him when he is ready to party.
"Um, okay." Peter said as he and Frank heard Hennessey laughing, they turn around to see the sign saying "I had sex with these fish!"
"What the hell? Oh, damn it!" Frank and Peter shouted at him as Frank begins to kick Hennessey' ass.
Now we join Frank and peter to see the bank is so certain that Peter will default on the loan that they sell the house to another family and repossess his furniture before the payment deadline arrives.
"Hey! What's going on here?" Peter said as frank knew that this was happing but didn't know how he knew.
"Peter/Pops, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?" Frank and Brian said as they explain on what he did.
"If by "read" you mean "imagined a naked lady," then yes." Peter said making an excuses.
"Peter, listen, the bank's taking all our stuff. And according to this if you don't pay them within 48 hours, they get the house, too." Brian explain to him that he must raise $50,000 before the imminent deadline or his house and furniture will be permanently taken away from him.
"Oh, boy! I get to go live at the bank!" Chris said as he was taking with bed included as the move grab Frank Jr with his crib.
"Daddy, Grandpa, get me out this crazy thing!" Frank Jr shouted like George Jetson.
Now we join Lois and Persephone with Meg, John and Tyler driving at night.
"Persephone, Meg, Did I ever tell you two that if you're on birth control and you take an antibiotic it makes it not work? Because no one told me. I thought you two should know." Lois said as she laughs nervously while John was embarrassing by joke.
"Look, Mom, Me and Persephone don't really feel like talking right now. Okay?" Meg said.
"Fine. I just don't understand why we had to leave the spa so early." Tyler asked them.
"Look, we just want to go home and spend the next three days in solitary confinement where we belong!" Persephone said as she and Meg went to sleep.
"Well, I tried." Lois said as she sighing until John saw a sign saying spring break blowout. Then he and Lois decides to slip off to the beach.
Now we join Meg and Persephone walk up to the sound of music, when they notice that they are at Narragansett beach for spring break as they see a lot of teenager having fun.
"Mom, John and Tyler, what the hell are we doing here?" Meg aked them on how they here on spring break.
"This is where you two wanted to be. Right, honey?" Lois said as she notices kids running towards the beach.
"Yeah. But not with you!" Persephone said as she and Meg didn't want to be here with their mom.
As we zoom in on two spring breakers doing their thing.
"Hey, did you hear what happened to the dude from UMass? He got so drunk he fell off his hotel balcony! He's in a coma!" Spring Breaker shouted at his buddy.
"Oh, man! I want to party with him!" Spring Breaker 2 shouted back.
"You know it! Yeah!" Spring Breaker shouted at the top of his lungs as he high five his buddy.
As Spring Breakers shouted yeah and Intense hollering, we join Lois and the girls as we see Connie drive by with the popular kids.
"Hey, look. Meg and Persephone made it, you guys." Connie said.
"Yeah. And she brought her mommy." Cool girl said as the rest of the popular kids laughs at them.
"Oh, my God!" Meg said as she face palms herself in disgracy with Persephone join in her.
"Come on, Meg! Get out of the car! Like the kids say, up your nose with a rubber hose!" Lois said as she gets on top of her car while tying her shirt to make a tang top to dance with teenagers as she fits in better with the party crowd than the Griffin Twins do at their school life.
"Hey, look, everybody. It's Spuds MacKenzie!" Spring Breaker said as Spuds MacKenzie is shown in this chapter, now he attacks the spring breaker as he Screaming in terror.
We join Frank, Peter, Frank Jr and Brian as movers took their belongings out of their home.
"That's the last of the furniture." Brian said as Frank Jr was crying at their stuff was taking away.
"No TV. I miss my friends. John Ritter, and Florence Henderson, and Alfonso Ribeiro." Peter said.
"Is he the guy from Silver Spoons?" Brian asked about Alfonso Ribeiro.
"Um, no, well, he was on French Prince of Bel-Air..." Peter said a lot about Alfonso Ribeiro former roles.
"Fresh Prince." Brian said in response.
"Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. But I don't know if he was also on... Hey, Alfonso." Frank asked Alfonso Ribeiro as he move the rest of the stuff.
"Yeah?" Alfonso Ribeiro said as he stops what he is doing to answer the question.
"Were you on Silver Spoons?" Peter asked Alfonso Ribeiro.
"Yes, I was." Alfonso Ribeiro said the answer as he continued his work.
"Oh, there you go." Peter said as we zoom in on a hotel having fun on spring break.
"Let's get this beach party started!" John shouted as he and Tyler change into their swimming gear as beach song started.
(Song: "If Summer Only Lasted One Day")
Well we'll wake up early and wax our surfboards down!
(Hit the beach, yeah we'll hit the beach)
Throw our board shorts on and head for surfin' town
(we'll hit the beach, yeah we'll hit the beach)
"Hey, look! I can see the hotel from up here!" Tyler said as he is trying para sailing with John and Persephone driving the speed boat. As we join Lois and Meg playing chicken.
"Come on. Just a little higher, honey." Lois said as she and Meg were playing chicken as meg was on the bottom of the game.
"Mom, I don't think I can..." Meg said as she was drowning by the weight of her mother.
"Hey, who's holding Lois?" Spring Breaker asked his friend on who was holding Lois.
"I don't know. Some dude named Mel." Spring Breaker 2 said as Lois fits in better with the party crowd than Meg does, perhaps due to the crowd's belief she is a "guy named Mel".
"This is Carson Daly. And we're live here at spring break. Who wants to party?" Carson Daly said on camera asking who is enjoying spring break. As everyone was cheering.
"Okay, one, two, three, four, five... Okay, we're gonna need cake and juice for 14 people. All right, now let's go to Tom Green who's gonna do something really outrageous!" Carson Daly said while he is providing food as we zoom in on Tom Green is sucking the udder of a cow, the cow has six udders. Cows have four udders.
"Does anyone out there like me yet? Can I stop this?" Tom Green said.
As we join in on Frank and Peter arriving at home to realized that another family just moved in name the Stevensons.
"Hey, what the hell are you doing in our house?" Frank asked the man in his house.
"Your house? This is my house. My wife and I bought it from the bank." Jim:
"We still got another day to pay back the loan." Peter said as he argues that he still had another day to pay for his house.
"The bank said it wouldn't matter because you're both fat deadbeat losers." Jim said in his response.
"Fat deadbeat losers? Well, sir, while I may not agree with what you say, I'll defend to the death your right to say it. Also I didn't sell for my half of house since I co-owner of this place so we have to share it." Frank said as he still the owner of this house. Meanwhile we see Frank Jr and Stewie admire a painting that was hang up by women.
"There we are. It's a van Gogh print. Isn't it beautiful?" Abby Stevenson said as she is Jim's wife. It is very apparent that she has some appreciation of art.
"Oh, yes, I've often fantasized about what this house would be like with more culture." Stewie said as he set another cutaway.
Cutaway
We see Stewie, Peter, Chris, Brian, John, Tyler, and Frank Jr sipping on glasses of wine as they are wearing black tuxedos.
"The port is good" Stewie said.
"Yes" Frank Jr said.
"Indeed" John added.
"Most certainly" Tyler commented.
"What year is it?" Brian asked.
"'51" Chris answered.
"Ahh!" Peter said.
"Delectable." Frank Jr said.
"Indeed." John
"Yes." Tyler
"Oh, dear!" Peter complained as he is in fire.
"What is it?" Brian asked.
"I've spontaneously combusted." Peter explained.
"I am sorry." Frank Jr apologized.
"oh, its quite all right. I've grown tired of living." Peter said.
"Very good" Stewie added.
"For the best" Frank Jr said.
"Yes, indeed" John said.
"Is it raining again?" Tyler asked.
Cutaway Ends
Now we join Persephone, Meg, John and Tyler waiting for Lois comes out of Hooters as a priest and a rabbi went in.
"Did you hear the one about us?" Rabbi said a joke to his priest friend as the popular kids come up of hooters shooters with Lois comes out drunk.
"Wow! You are such a good dancer." Connie said as she compliments Lois dancing skills.
"Way to go on that beer bong." Cool girl said as she compliments Lois drinking skills.
"Yeah, no fake. No fake." Cool guys said as they comment on Lois.
"Mom/Mrs. Griffin!" The Griffin twins, John and Tyler shouted at Lois.
Hey! What are you doing here? Lois asked them.
"What are we doing here? we've been waiting out here for hours!" Meg said as she is piss off by her mother.
"What?" Lois said in a drunk Blake state.
"You were supposed to pop inside "real quick" and find some people who looked enough like us so we could use their IDs." Persephone explain her on what she was supposed to do.
"And then you were supposed to come out and give us the ID so I could get inside. Meg said as she finishes the explanation.
"What?" Lois said in a drunk Blake state.
"God, it's like talking to a 3-year-old!" Meg said as she tired of Lois behavior.
"Oh, you know what? You need to learn how to loosen up a little, toots." Lois said in a goofy tone as she is trying for meg and Persephone to loosen up.
"Yeah, I get the feeling you're loose enough for all of us." John said in a snarky tone.
"What?" Lois said in a drunk Blake state as she almost
"Nothing." Meg said dismissing conversation.
"That's right nothing. Don't you sass me!" Lois said as she fainted on the street.
As Phone ringing at the house of Mallque/Stevensons since the griffin don't have the money to own the house yet.
"Good evening. Mallque/Stevenson residence." Chris answer the phone.
"Chris, honey, we've been over this a thousand times. It's pronounced " Mallque/Griffin." Lois said on the other line of the phone from a hotel as John, Persephone and Tyler watching TV while Meg was on the bed reading "the bell jar!"
"Hi, Mom!" Chris shouted.
"Hi, Chris. Put your father on." Lois said as she asked for peter.
"Hey, Dad?" Chris said as he passes on the Stevenson talking jokes with Frank Jr and Stewie.
"And the French guy says, "Deodorant? What's that?" Jim said as everyone laughs at his jokes.
"All right. All right. I've got one. I've got one. Okay. Two men are standing at the Pearly Gates. Oh, God, wait! How did that one go? Oh, well, anyway, it turns out they're Siegfried and Roy. I'm no good at telling jokes Frank Jr." Stewie said as he tries to tell joke but fails with Frank Jr laughing with him.
"Dad, it's Mom." Chris said as he arrived at the kitchen to give the phone to Peter while Frank and Brian sit near the table.
"Oh, God! Please be Somerset Maugham. Please be Somerset Maugham. Hello?" Peter said as he hopes that it was Somerset Maugham and not his wife as he answers the phone.
"Peter?" Lois responded.
"Damn!" Peter cruses himself as he listens.
"I was just calling to check in with my boys, see how you guys are doing." Lois asked on what's happing with everyone at the house.
Oh, um, We're fine. Peter said as laughter was heard in the background.
"What's all the noise?" Lois asked peter about the noise in the background.
"Nothing. Nothing." Peter said as Frank plays tape recording of Lois speaking.
"Peter, I need you to take out the trash!" Lois voice in tape recording said.
"Okay, Lois! Lois, I got to go! Holy crap, Frank and Brian! What am I gonna do? Lois is gonna be home in a couple of days and we're getting kicked out of the house tomorrow." Peter said as he hangs up while freaking out about their problem.
"What do you suggest?" Frank asked about fixing this problem.
"Get out your ring." Peter said as he pull out a half ring.
"Peter, that's not gonna..." Brian said.
"Come on!" Peter shouted as frank signs as he took out his half ring and join it together with Peter's.
"Wonder Twin powers, activate!" Frank and Peter Both said the chant of the wonder twin of the super friends.
"Form of steam!" Peter said as he waited to transformed into steam.
"Peter, You two got these in a box of Franken Berry." Brian said to that response.
As we join in a game of Pictionary, Stewie is angered by Jim's inability to play the game as evidence by repeating "Jackal" eight times.
"A jackal! Jackal! It's a jackal! It looks like a jackal! Jackal? Jackal? It's a jackal! Jackal?" Jim said to evidence by repeating "Jackal" eight times
"Time!" Abby said as both Stewie and Frank Jr got piss off.
"It wasn't right the first time you said it! Why the hell would it be right the next 10 times? God!" Stewie said as they push the notebook off the table as they storm off.
At the poop deck, we join our heroes drink off the sorrows.
"Oh, man, I am screwed! I'm gonna lose my house, and my boat, and everything. How am I gonna come up with $50,000 by tomorrow?" Peter said as his new fishing career does not prove very successful, and rival fishermen berate and taunt him.
"Well, you could whore yourself out to 1,000 fat chicks for $50 apiece. Or 50 really fat chicks for $1,000. What? Don't look at me like that. Fat chicks need love, too. But they got to pay." Quagmire said as he gave peter an idea to whore himself out to 1,000 fat chicks for $50 apiece.
"What is this?" Peter asked as spits off and questions on what he is drinking.
"Sea water, courtesy of that gentleman over there." Waitress said as she points out Hennessey as he berates and taunt him.
You need $50,000, Mallque and Griffin? I got a suggestion for both of you. Why don't you two kill Daggermouth? Hennessey said as he points at the Daggermouth's wanted poster.
"Maybe We will, Hennessey." Peter said decides to catch the legendary killer fish Daggermouth for a $50,000 reward.
"You'd be buying yourself a one-way ticket to a watery grave. Daggermouth is the meanest, most ruthless creature that's ever inhabited the sea. Legend has it he dwells out by Fish Stench Cove. He'll kill any man that comes near there. I saw him once. Sure I'm blind in one eye, and my other eye was infected that day from picking at it, and I was tired, and I'd been swimming in a pool with too much chlorine, and that was the hour my glasses were at Lenscrafters but I seen that fish!" Seamus tells them about Daggermouth's legend and it was dangerouse.
"If there's $50,000 in it, we don't get a choice." Frank said as he made his choice aswell.
"You can whore yourself out to 1,000 fat chicks for $50." Seamus said as he rehashes quagmire's idea.
"Nah, nah, we covered that." Quagmire said as they already pass off that idea as Hennessey come in.
"You two ain't got a chance, Mallque and Griffin. Daggermouth killed my friend Salty. And he was twice the fisherman you two are. And half the weight!" Hennessey said as he sizzles his butt until Frank grab his hand.
"Hey-no! No! Hot!" Peter shouted at Hennessey's butt.
"He's right, Peter. It'd be suicide to go after that fish. There's gotta be another way." Joe said as he is trying to talk Frank and Peter out of this.
"We could have a bake sale." Menma said good idea.
"Oh, now, see, I think that's a neat idea." Negi agreed with Menma idea.
"No! I am not gonna let my family live on the street. Not even if it means ending up like Seamus here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with destiny. Peter said as he leaves with frank until…
"oh and Hennessey, I'm might look behind you!" Frank said as Hennessey turns around to see the police as Frank planted evidence on him saying he was a drug dealer. As the police dragged him away, he shouted, "I'll get you for this Mallque and Griffin, I'll get you!" Frank smirked as he and Peter left to face his destiny.
"So, were you like, in an accident, or what?" Quagmire asked Seamus about his wooden appendages.
"No. Me father was a tree." Seamus said about his origin and birth.
As we join the mallue/Stevenson house at night with Peter, Frank Jr in bed with Jim and Abby.
"What's wrong with me? I got to be crazy to think I can kill that man-eating fish. I mean, what the hell am I doing?" Peter said as Frank Jr hugs his grandfather for support.
"Hey, hey, hey, come on, Peter. What kind of talk is that?" Jim said as he cheer up peter.
"Yeah, you can do it. Who's my big brave boy, huh?" Abby asked as she treats Peter like if he was her own son.
"Me." Peter said in a happy response.
"Who's my big brave boy?" Abby asked him the same question/
"Me." Peter said in a happy response.
As Abby blowing raspberries on Peter's stomach
As Rock music playing while everyone was dancing to a rock band as we join Lois and Meg laying on the beach.
"This sucks, Mom." Meg said about her day.
"Meg, stop moping. These are the best years of your life. Now, let's get up there and live a little, huh?" Lois said as she drags Meg toward the stage.
"Mom, I look like an idiot!" Meg said as she looks embarrass on stage.
"No, you don't. Come on. Just move your hips a little like this." Lois said as she dances on stage.
"Lois! Lois! Lois!" Crowd Chanting Lois's name.
"Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!" Lois chanting Meg's to change their minds.
"Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg!" Crowd Chanting Meg's name now as she begins to shake what her momma gave her.
"Atta girl! Shake your moneymaker!" Lois said as she continues to dance.
Back at the beach, things are getting underway: a band is playing music, people are dancing and playing in the sand, and a dolphin's waterspout is used as a drinking fountain. Tyler was out parasailing. As John is preparing his surfboard, Persephone brings him a drink, but is hit on the head by a falling coconut.
"Oh!" Persephone Groaning as She falls on top of a surprised crab, who then carries her off.
The crab happens to carry her over to the limbo contest. Crowd: How low can you go? How low can you go?
"Look! So that's how low you can go. We've been asking that question for generations! Dancer said to Persephone as everyone cheered.
"What? What's everybody looking at?" Persephone asked on why is everyone looking at her.
"For winning the limbo contest, you are now officially crowned Queen Wahini of the beach! All hail Queen Wahini!" Dancer said as Persephone wins the contest and is crowned "Queen Wahini of the Beach".
"I can't believe it!" Persephone overjoyed as Tyler helps her celebrate by singing "Backyard Beach".
(Song: "Backyard Beach")
Tyler
Listen up people and I'll teach ya
'Bout John and Tyler at the backyard beach-a,
Every morning, Johnath, he gonna say (Say!)
"Tyler, whatcha gonna do today?"
Now you see we're having fun, playing under the sun,
And get in line, get in line, 'cause the wet ski's running
A backyard beach, a backyard beach
Nothing's outta reach, we got the backyard beach
You can change in the broken hut,
Drink out of a coconut, Three games for a token, but the rest is free
You got skiing, parasailing,
Surfing and a-flailing,
Your contacts need saline,
Or else, you can't see
Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach
Nothing's out of reach, we got the backyard beach
Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach,
Persephone and John dancing on the beach as Tyler continues singing.
Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach!
"I've never been happier in my entire life!" Persephone declares that she has never been happier. As we join Lois and Meg still dance on the stage.
"Meg! Meg! Meg!" Crowd Chanting Meg's name as she continues to dance as in a moment of exuberance, Meg flashes her breasts.
"Oh, my God! It's a chick!" Man said in shocked of Meg's boobs.
"Ay, dios mio! Una chica!" The school janitor said Repeating what the man said in Spanish. As the cops came in to stop this party.
"All right, everybody! This party's over!" Cop said as Both Meg and Lois are quickly arrested.
"Why do you cops always have to kill our buzz?" Man asked the cops about hashing their party buzz.
"He used a teenage colloquialism. Get the tear gas." Cop said as he and his partner quickly used tear gas on the beachers.
As they all Screaming away, we now join Frank and Peter decides to catch the legendary killer fish Daggermouth for a $50,000 reward.
"Not so fast, big guy." Joe said as he, Quagmire, Cleveland accompany him on his quest.
"What are you guys doing here?" Frank asked them.
"We're gonna help you two kill the fish." Cleveland said.
"But this is gonna be dangerous. We could all die." Peter said about the dangers of this fish.
"Oh, come on. You're our best friend, Peter. Besides, I can remember a time when you saved all our butts." Quagmire said as he sets ups another cutaway.
Cutaway
We see Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland gagged and with their pants down as they kneeled on the ground on top of a table as two pantless perverts were about to have sex with them. Suddenly Peter, Frank, Menma and Rage arrives. Frank kills one of them with a sword.
Cutaway Ends
Yeah, too bad I didn't get there until after the sodomy. All right, let's go kick some fish ass! Peter said as they all Lively cheering while Joe fell over the dock into the ocean.
As Siren wailing, we join Lois and Meg inside of a police car being take to the Police station.
"I can't believe I just showed everyone my tater tots. Worst of all, now I'm gonna have a police record, Man Frank is going be very piss or very horney." Meg said as she reflects on what happed today.
"Now, Meg, if you're gonna grab ahold of life, you've gotta expect to get your hands dirty once in a while." Lois said as she takes out a Bobbie pine to unlocked her cuffs.
"It was kind of cool that people noticed me." Meg said as Lois unlocked her cuffs.
"That's the spirit, honey. Okay, one, two, three, tuck and roll!" Lois said as They escape from the police car by roll off the car by their doors.
As we join Frank, Peter, Cleveland, Joe & Quagmire inside the boat drinking Beers.
"We're right on course, guys. Give me another beer." Peter said as quagmire gives him one.
"You know; these are the precious moments. The four of us out at sea, miles away from civilization, tossing back brews." Joe said as they enjoy their time here at sea.
"Amen to that, Joe. Hey, you guys, here's one for you. Let's say none of us were married, all right? If you could have any woman in the world, who would it be?" Peter said as they are talking about which of any woman they could have in the world if they were not married.
"Mariel Hemingway." Joe chooses Mariel Hemingway
"Come on. Really?" Frank asked on that women.
"Not a very good choice." Cleveland said as he agreed with Frank.
"She's jagged." Quagmire said her flaw.
"No. I think she's very attractive in a classical kind of way." Joe said as he complements her looks in a classy way.
"Yeah, but you could cut a roast on her face." Quagmire say her face is fat.
"I would go with Margaret Thatcher." Cleveland:
Margaret Thatcher? The gang All shouted.
"Why the hell Margaret Thatcher?" Peter asked Cleveland on that women.
"Oh, so nobody here thinks power is sexy? Not one of you finds power sexy?" Cleveland question on why her power is not sexy.
"How about you, Peter?" Joe asked him.
"Oh, like you got to ask. The chick with three knockers from Total Recall." Peter said as he chooses "the chick from Total Recall with the three knockers."
"Interesting." Joe said as he is intrigued.
"I never saw that movie." Cleveland said.
"Hey, you know one was papier-mâché, right?" Quagmire said that one of the boobs was fake.
"Oh, jeez, can I change my answer? Of course I know it's paper! I don't care! What's wrong with you? What about you, Quagmire?" Peter said as he doesn't care if one of the boobs was fake while asking Quagmire.
"Taylor Hanson." Quagmire said.
"Taylor Hanson's a guy." Joe said as he reveals that Taylor Hanson is a male.
"You guys are yanking me. Hey, let's put one over on old Quagmire." Quagmire said as he is not buying it.
"No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire." Peter said as he too reveals that Taylor Hanson is a male.
"Well, well, this is insane! That's impossible! Oh, my God, Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, God! I got all these magazines. Oh, God! Oh, God!" Quagmire said as he freaks out when Peter and Joe reveal that Taylor Hanson is a male.
As Suspenseful instrumental music playing at night now we join the gang as Frank and his friends manage to track the legendary fish to his lair.
"This must be Fish Stench Cove." Joe gasping in terror.
"All right. Now all we got to do is find the fish." Peter said as he drives the ship into his cave as a man with elongated arms who eggs on the gang to find Daggermouth is from Monty Python's 1983 film The Meaning of Life.
"I wonder where that fish did go. A fish, a fish, a fishy, oh." Terry Jones said. As more Suspenseful instrumental music playing in the background.
"I heard that when Daggermouth eats you, he devours your guts first." Joe said a rumor.
"I heard he doesn't just eat you, he eats your soul!" Cleveland said another rumor
"I heard one of Shannen Doherty's eyes is off-center 'cause it's trying to escape!" Peter said something random as they come face to face on the fish name Daggermouth.
"Welcome, gentlemen!" Daggermouth greets his prey.
"It's him! Quick, shoot him!" Quagmire asked someone to shoot him. As everyone tries to get a gun until Daggermouth stops them with his gun.
"Not so fast! Perhaps I could offer you a glass of port. And you a glass of starboard. That's a little nautical joke. I'm a fish, you see. I'm also delightfully mad." Daggermouth said as he insults quagmire and job as he shoots at them but miss them.
"Oh dear, would you mind holding still for a moment? These antique pistols take about ten minutes to reload." Daggermouth said as he tries to reload his gun.
"Frank, catch!" Joe said as he throws the harpoon gun to Frank.
"Ow! Don't throw stuff at me, Joe!" Frank shouted.
"Frank, shoot him!" Cleveland said as he asked him to shoot Daggermouth
"Oh, yeah. Right." Frank said as he shoots him dead as they discover that Daggermouth is in fact a robotic fish.
"My God! Isn't it amazing that that's what we all look like on the inside?" Peter asked as he look at Daggermouth's insides
"It's a robot, you idiot." A man said as he reveals himself to them.
"Who are you?" Joe asked the man.
"I'm Salty." Salty said as he introduces himself.
"Salty? But everybody said you were killed by that fish." Peter said as he questions his death.
"That's what I wanted them to think. I disappeared and spread the Daggermouth rumor myself." Salty explains the fact the robotic fish created by him; a fisherman Daggermouth is supposed to have killed, was some ruses.
"Why?" Frank and Peter asked him.
"Merchandise! Daggermouth t-shirts, mugs, posters. And I'm in talks with Nickelodeon for a cartoon show. Figured I'd pair him with an effeminate cat. What do you think?" Salty said to generate a demand for merchandise.
"I'd watch that." Frank and Peter said in agreement.
"Sure, sure" Joe said also in agreement.
"Me, too." Quagmire said also in agreement.
"Sounds like a good balance." Cleveland said also in agreement.
"And now I'm gonna give you $50,000 to be on your way." Salty said as he gives Peter $50,000 in hush money.
"$50,000? For what?" Peter question him.
"To keep your mouth shut! And because the longer we stay here the more people'll question how a fisherman with no engineering background managed to build a sophisticated talking fish robot." Salty said own question, as to how a fisherman with no engineering background created such a sophisticated robot, is left unexplained.
As we join Lois and the gang returning home with Persephone relaxing with her Boyfriend John.
"Girls, I'm really sorry for how I acted. Getting so drunk, and ditching you guys at the bar and letting those boys take pictures of the two of you while you were sleeping. I was so busy having fun, I guess I kind of ruined it for both of you." Lois said as she apologies for her behavior to her daughter's and her adopted son's.
"it okay Mrs. Griffin, just don't let it happen again!" Tyler said as John nodded while he just scored with the girl of his dreams.
As Car honking when a car full of spring breakers pull alongside them, honking and yelling.
Uh-oh, we got company. Lois:
Looks like your fans are back, Mom. Meg:
Meg! Meg! Meg! Meg! Cool kids:
No, I think this one's all yours. Lois said they are not cheering for Lois, as it first appears, but for Meg. As she who obliges them by flashing again.
As the popular kids Cheering for that flashing.
"You go, girl!" Connie said.
"All right!" Cool boy 1 said about the flashing.
"One's an innie, and one's an outie." Cool boy 2 said he explains about Meg's boobs.
As we join Frank jr with his grandparents to watch his new favorite show Daggermouth and Boom Boom.
"And now, back to Daggermouth and Boom Boom on Nickelodeon." Announcer said as Daggermouth and Boom Boom is an American fictional animated television series that aired on Nickelodeon. It was the 18th Nicktoon ever made, picked up and premiering in "A Fish out of Water". The series is loosely based on the Daggermouth character created by Salty, a fisherman. In it, Daggermouth lives with an effeminate cat named Boom Boom.
"Boom Boom, did you do your exercises today?" Daggermouth asked him about his exercises.
"Yes. I did 20 laps. And I'm about to do 20 more!" Boom Boom said Boom Boom enters and brags about doing 20 laps to Daggermouth's surprise
"Oh, you!" Daggermouth said as Boom Boom then offers to perform 20 more, lapping up the milk in front of Daggermouth to his annoyance.
"Yipes!" Boom Boom said as Then Daggermouth proceeds to chase Boom Boom off into the distance as Whimsical instrumental music playing in the background.
"Oh, Peter, I'm so glad being a fisherman is working out for you. You know I gotta admit I half expected to come home, and all our stuff would be gone, and we'd owe somebody a whole lot of money." Lois said as she explains some of the stuff that happened in this chapter.
"How can you "half expect" something?" Peter question her about "half expect."
"I don't know. It's just a turn of phrase." Lois answer his question.
How do you "turn a phrase"? Peter asked a dumb question to her
"God, you're dumb! Thank God for that ass! Now, come here and kiss me. Good night, honey, Good night, Frank Jr." Lois said as she kisses peter while saying goodnight to her husband and grandchild.
"Good night, Grandma. Good night, Jim and Abby." Frank Jr said as he tucks himself in the blankets
"Good night." Jim & Abby said as they turn off the lights.
As Abby blowing raspberries in Frank Jr's belly while he chuckles in the dark.
"Not now, Abby." Frank Jr said as we enter closing theme music.
Chapter ends
I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thanking for pen123 and Family Guy Fan writer 15, Thank you all for cutaways, scenes, favoring, having me on alerts, PM ideas. Also Doc x me if you want to help with scenes for next chapter because I need the ideas.