AN: You guys still with me? Thanks for the continued follows and bookmarks. You guys are great.
Preparations for their show were proceeding nicely, and two weeks after Octavia had sat for Clarke the blonde was nearly done with every dancer's poster.
Lexa and Lincoln had succeeded in collaborating on the music that would best tell the story and they celebrated by drinking too many beers at Lincoln's apartment.
His instrument set up was amazing and they found it best to play along to the notes he jotted down in real-time, and when something sounded wrong, it was easier to fix it on the spot.
The two chatted about the show for some time before Lincoln questioned Lexa about her relationship with Clarke, or lack thereof. She gave him little as she shrugged and instead shifted the talk towards him and his own infatuation with Octavia.
"I'm not obsessed, Lexa." He shook his head stubbornly from behind his drum set.
The brunette laughed. "Linc, I've seen the stolen glances. I see the way you hold the door open for her even when she's yards away from the entrance. You like her." She raised her brows and waited for him to say she was right.
He sighed and nodded. "Fine."
"You're obsessed?" Lexa poked further.
"No." He examined his snare drum for no reason other than he needed not to make direct eye contact with his friend.
"Just like?"
"A lot." He nodded in admission.
Lexa sighed with an empathetic smile at her friend before she dropped herself on his futon and drank her beer. "We've got to do something about our situations."
They smiled over their beers and cursed both their good and bad luck of falling for a pair of amazing young women.
When Clarke opened the door to Lexa's apartment she was surprised to see the brunette on the sofa watching television.
It was late, and the beers Lexa had consumed had caught up to her enough to make her eyes droop with sleep, but she flipped through the channels nonetheless.
The blonde sighed and prepared herself for the onslaught of questions.
"Another non-date?" Lexa smirked, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
"Yes." Clarke rolled her eyes.
Since their first friendly dinner, Clarke and Anthony had met twice more to discuss her goals and desires to see her work in a big-name gallery. Though there were the occasional flirty responses he would shoot at her, Clarke still insisted he was nothing more than a friend with similar interests.
"So where did you guys go?" Lexa questioned as she set the remote down, her full attention on the blonde.
"That spot on Boyd and San Pedro." Clarke glared at her with a grin of her own, knowing Lexa knew the place.
The brunette nodded with a smile. "I like it there." She picked up the remote to continue flipping mindlessly through late-night television shows. "Cool place." Her anxiety somewhat quelled with knowing the bar was a nice hangout, and not really a 'date' restaurant.
Clarke shook her head and smiled back at the writer. "You get so worked up for nothing." She jabbed before walking away to freshen up and change into her nightwear.
Lexa, though still slightly inebriated gasped as she dropped the remote on the sofa cushions. "I didn't get worked up. I don't get worked up." She called over her shoulder hoping the girl heard her over the running water.
"You always do." Clarke muffled a response, unaware of the bewildered look etched on the brunette's features.
It was possible the beer was making Lexa hallucinate, but it seemed to her that they were really having a conversation about feelings. She wasn't sure she was ready because of her mental state, but she was damned if she was about to back out of the talk now.
"Forgive me if I concern myself with your well-being." She argued.
Just then Clarke reemerged with a face towel in her hands. She patted her skin dry before smirking at her friend. "Please." She rolled her eyes when they peered over the terry cloth. "We both know this has nothing to do with my well-being." She tilted her head at the girl in challenge.
When Lexa recovered from the sudden rush of butterflies in her stomach, she cleared her throat. Standing up rather unsteadily she shook her head and wiggled her finger at the blonde. "It's always about your well-being, Clarke." She responded honestly before walking towards the artist.
Clarke felt their knuckles brush as Lexa headed for the end of the hall and towards her room. "I'm more concerned with your well-being." She spun to comment before Lexa could move out of earshot, ignoring the rush of heat she felt on her hand. "How did you get home?"
Lexa furrowed her brows at the way Clarke looked at her, genuinely concerned. "Rideshare. Lincoln will drive my car to work tomorrow." She grinned and pointed at the blonde. "Thanks for caring. See we both care."
The door to her room closed and Clarke was left in the hallway nodding. "Yes we do." She whispered.
Clarke sighed profoundly for the millionth time as she glared viciously at her work. She had been painting the flowers in the vase for an hour and a half, and she had yet to be satisfied with any part of it.
Her brain refused to work with her. It was the equivalent of having re-read the same paragraph ten times and forgetting every single word. Her lack of concentration was criminal.
Still, she drowned her paint brush in the green paint and dabbed heavily on the canvas.
A surprised hum sounded from behind her and she dropped her head ashamed. Her brush fell away from the canvas and lay waiting for a purpose beside her leg. "Something's on your mind my dear Clarke." Frankie smiled wisely at the blonde who had finally lifted her head enough to meet the woman's eyes.
The blonde shrugged. "I can't seem to concentrate."
Frankie smiled with raised eyebrows. "That's pretty clear. The way you were forcing the brush onto the canvas made me nervous. You wanted to kill the flowers. Or the brush. I had a hard time deciding." She looked calmly between Clarke and the unfinished painting.
There was a silent chuckle from Clarke as she shook her head. "Neither. I just can't focus. Something's keeping me from envisioning my goal."
"Perhaps you have a more demanding goal in mind, but you're repressing it." Frankie nodded at the girl's confused glance. "Take a minute, Clarke. A moment of reflection always helps me when I get stuck." She patted the girl on the shoulder. "Good luck."
Frankie was the most sagacious person Clarke knew, and twenty-six minutes later, after having stared blankly at the flowers on her easel, she shook her head both frustrated and amazed by her findings. "Damn it." She muttered.
She brushed off the nagging need to finish her work before texting Raven and Octavia on her way out of The Ark.
When the girls arrived Clarke was already situated in her usual booth with a plate of fries and the thickest chocolate shake she could order.
"This should be good." Raven grinned at her best friend before they sat with the blonde.
Clarke looked up from her fries and sighed. "Thank for meeting me guys. I just needed some girl talk so I can decipher what the hell my life has come to." She bit angrily at the fry.
Octavia's eyes widened with surprise and amusement. "Ok, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this has Lexa written all over it." Raven nodded in agreement.
"What?" Clarke scrunched up her face in denial as she grabbed her milkshake to down as much of it as she could without getting brain freeze. "This isn't about Lexa." She stated matter-of-factly.
"Right." Raven smirked and flagged the waitress down to order more greasy food. When the girls eyed her disbelievingly she shrugged. "We're going to be here a while."
"Spill it." Octavia crossed her arms and leaned forward on the table. Her eyes and posture demanding the blonde begin with the truth.
Heaving a sigh Clarke rolled her eyes. "I think I might have a crush on Lexa." She looked dejectedly at both girls.
"That's no crush. You're in like." Raven deadpanned and Clarke shot her a glare. "Don't look at me like that. You two couldn't be more obvious. I see it from the stage and I wear contacts." She nodded emphatically to counter Clarke's head shake.
Octavia snorted in amusement. "You're one to talk." She blurted out before grabbing a fry and ignoring the penetrating glares from both of her friends. Neither girl said a word, but Octavia knew the one she had directed the comment towards was itching to punch her shoulder and ask for clarification. But that was a conversation for a later date. She swallowed the food and shrugged at Clarke. "So you have a girl problem and you want us to be your wing-women?" She suggested excitedly.
"Not exactly. I'm not sure. I don't know." Clarke covered her face with both hands and grunted into them. The girls across from her looked at each other and then at the blonde.
"Sweetie you have to clear that up for us." Octavia shook her head in response.
The waitress walked towards them then and smiled widely when she set the food down for the girls. Raven thanked her and went straight for a buffalo wing.
"Ok." Clarke sighed and straightened. "I think I have feelings for Lexa, but I don't know if I should approach her. It's been a long time since I felt this way about anyone."
"Is it because she's a girl that you're hesitating?" Raven questioned with furrowed brows.
Clarke smiled as she stared at the plate of fries absentmindedly. "No. Not at all. I mean she's the first girl to make me feel this way, but in all honestly it didn't even cross my mind." She looked up to her friends with the same smile still plastered on her face, and the girls shook their head at the admission. This could be more than just 'in like' they thought simultaneously to themselves.
"So what's the problem?" Octavia took her turn at asking questions.
The blonde sighed before she looked out the window at the passing cars on the street. It was only a matter of time before she had to let her more personal demons out, it was inevitable. "I haven't had the best of luck with, um, love, or whatever." She looked despondently at the girls, both of them equally taken back by the sincere sadness painted on her face.
"Um, what happened?" Raven asked.
She proceeded to recount her 'tale of woe', as Lexa once called it, and the girls listened.
When she was done, her friends shook their heads in solemn disbelief and sighed. "Damn girl." Raven replied.
"Yeah." Octavia added.
Clarke nodded. "I know." She sighed and picked at a cold fry before looking back up at the pair. "So you see why I might be a bit hesitant to move forward with her."
Raven agreed with a small nod but instantly shook her head. "Still, Lexa is one of the best people I know, and just because you've had bad luck before doesn't mean it will happen again."
"Yeah, give it a try, Clarke. Lexa is not like everyone else. And she's not going anywhere. Once she's committed, she's there for good. It's why she's so involved with Tassels; it's why she's let you stay at her place. She cares too much to walk away."
Octavia's advice made the blonde nod in realization. Lexa had been the first one to welcome her and she hadn't left since. The girl had a big heart, and Clarke knew it.
Which then also brought on her next epiphany: if she wanted to have a shot with Lexa, perhaps the first step would be to move out of the brunette's apartment. "I should move back to my place." Clarke nodded without looking at either girl, almost as if she were holding a conversation with herself.
Octavia and Raven cast quick glances at each other before shaking their heads at the girl. "You don't have to." Raven suggested.
"Are you ready?" Octavia asked with raised brows.
In all honesty, there was no way she was ready. The thought of heading back to her apartment, her desolate apartment, where she no longer felt calm and feared the loss of sleep and sanity, still sent her into a frenzy of nerves. There was nothing Clarke dreaded more than an empty home where her mind and heart were no longer at peace.
Clarke moved her gaze towards the girl and shrugged. "I'll have to be. How awkward would it be if I was dating her and living with her at the same time?"
"It happens." Raven shrugged.
The artist knew it was probably true, but she figured if she had a chance at a relationship with Lexa, she was going to do it the right way.
Or at least try.
TBC…
Awww. Lincoln is one of my favorites, and I wanted to make sure he gets some love in this story. Do you guys think him and Octavia have a chance? How about Clarke and her girls, huh. Finally we get her to openly admit to others that she likes Lexa. Now we just need one of them to make a move. Come on Clexa! Hurry up. What will we see next week? I wonder...