Disclaimer: Bobby's ANBU33's, plot is mine, and Naruto is Kishimoto's.

Chapter 11: You Messed with the Wrong Kunoichi

"What tremendous strength. I bet she's single."

~Kabuto~

A silver blur passed Bobby and his mother. Wide eyes were hidden by Bobby's blindfold as at least ten women ran past them, screaming at the blur at the top of their lungs. Several of the women were ninjas, evident by the kunai and shuriken clutched in their hands.

"Help me!" Jiraiya shrieked as he ran circles around them. The women caught on immediately and waited on the other side of them, successfully catching the mega pervert.

"NOOOO!" Jiraiya yelled as they dragged him away, angry looks on their faces and mutters about castration. Jiraiya's horror only grew as the women started arguing about who would have the honor to castrate the lecher.

Bobby waved Jiraiya forward, as the women were too distracted to notice that their prey was escaping them. Bobby's mother's had done a wonder face-palm as she watched this.

They all silently snuck away, even though Bobby's mother obviously wished to let the women rip the pervert apart. How he has survived this long, especially with all of his parts intact, I will never understand…

Minutes later, they heard a shriek of anger from all the women in unison. Bobby's mother just shook her head. "You know, I'm gonna laugh when you get what's coming to you."

"I'm not about to get anything coming to me. I'm the great Jiraiya, after all. I can escape and angry horde of women all day," said the man, just as the women turned a corner.

"Get him!" the leader of the angry women yelled.

Jiraiya took off running just to be caught by a women that had the sense to go around the opposite way in case he attempted to run.

"No!" Jiraiya screamed as he flailed his arms, trying to get away. He suddenly paused, and asked, "Are those D-cup?" looking at the woman's breasts.

Bobby giggled as the pervert was slapped for that line, knocking him out. The women then dragged him away to who knows where.

x~x~x

Jiraiya woke up chained to the wall. Kinky, he thought to himself as he watched the women debate amongst themselves what they would do to him.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" said a very familiar voice.

"Tsunade-hime!" Jiraiya said, a grin splitting his face. "How nice to see you! Now, can you help get me out of here?"

The woman snorted. "I'll keep them from castrating you, but that's about it. So deal with it."

The women had finally decided on something, and half of them had left to get something. Jiraiya was still thinking perverted thoughts even though what he didn't know was that he was about to meet his worst nightmare.

One of the ladies that had been left in the dank basement had started a fire, and was smirking as she watched the flames. Booming noises sounded from the stairway soon after, and coming down the steps was the largest woman Jiraiya had seen.

She came to a stop before Jiraiya as the rest of the women came down the stairs behind her, all of them holding a black sack filled with something. One of the woman stepped forward, and opened the sack, showing him the many Icha Icha books in the bag.

"Oh, so you ladies are fans of my books? That's why you kidnapped me," Jiraiya said, nodding his head with a smug smile.

"Actually," Tsunade said just as the first woman with a sack came forward, and dumped the books on the fire.

"NO!" Jiraiya wailed with horror. "Those were masterpieces, and you're using them as kindling! Why?!"

The large woman stepped closer to him, blocking his view of the book burning. "Like what you see?" she asked, posing in what she believed was a provocative position.

Jiraiya's face was still froze with horror when he fainted.

Tsunade sighed. "Damn. And here I was hoping for some more entertainment. That was really funny..."

Shizune snickered as the large woman, with a poof, turned into a tiny pink haired girl. "Can we do that again, Shishou?" she asked.

"Hmm, maybe. When he wakes up again, we'll see," Tsunade answered.

x~x~x

Jiraiya woke with a dry mouth and confusion. Where am I? he thought to himself. Then, he remember, and really wished he hadn't when he almost puked at the memory.

"Oh. You're finally awake," said the woman that had caught him.

"Seriously, are those D-cups?" Jiraiya asked.

A vein throbbed in her head, and she said, "I'm not answering that. I imagine you don't remember me from before that then. We had a one night stand, when I was drunk, because if I hadn't been drunk, I definitely wouldn't have even came near you. Oh, you also got me pregnant. This is your kid." She took a four year old with mismatched eyes hidden from behind her back. Jiraiya stared at the kid with horror.

"That can't be my kid, though. He looks nothing like me!" Jiraiya wailed.

"Hey, I can see it," Tsunade said, smirking. "He has your nose, the poor thing."

"Hey, I have a handsome nose!" Jiraiya shouted.

"Keep telling yourself that," Tsunade murmured. Now, louder, she stated, "I had a blood test run. He is your kid."

Jiraiya fainted again, a look of pure horror on his face.

x~x~x

"Jiraiya's been missing for a week now. Don't you think we should go look for him?" Bobby asked his mother.

"I guess," she sighed. "I was having so much fun without him though, but I suppose we need to make sure the pervert's still alive."

"This was where he was taken, and they dragged him into this building," the boy muttered. "Now, we need to have an awesome entrance. Do you see a window?"

"Or, we can used the unlocked door," his mother said, opening the door for her overdramatic son, who had gotten stuck in a window.

"Oops," Bobby said, grinning nervously.

"Sometimes, the simplest of ways is the best way," his mother stated as she helped him out of the window.

"Yeah, I guess so," Bobby said, scratching his head as they walked through the door.

"He's in the basement," Bobby said as he looked with his Byakugan.

"Let's go," his mother murmured as they stalked down the stairs.

"Hey, welcome to the party," Tsunade said as she saw them. "I suppose you're here to take Jiraiya back? Well, you can have him. Burning his books and watching him cry gets boring after the tenth time."

"You're eviler than Orochimaru," Jiraiya said, tears streaming down his face as Bobby used a kunai to cut the rope that bound his hands and feet. His mother calmly took the key offered to her and unchained him from the wall.

Jiraiya started to cry harder now that he was free. "What is it now?" she demanded, exasperated.

"Your son needs better practice with kunai. He cut me," Jiraiya sobbed as he held out his ankle which had a small cut on it.

"Oh, come here you crybaby, and let's get back to the hotel."

Question: If you could have any super power, what would it be?

My answer: To shape shift. I just think that the ability to swim in the dark depths of the ocean one minute and fly high in the sky another would be amazing. :)