TITLE; Love
SERIES; 30 Grains of Powder
FANDOM; Supernatural
CHARACTERS; Ben Braeden/Dean Winchester, Lisa, Casteil, Gabriel

RATING M

WIP OR COMPLETE; Complete

WARNINGS. Slash, mpreg

DISCLAIMER; Not mine, just playing

Summary; It's been nearly six weeks. The new parents succumb to the fire and Lisa and Dean reach some sort of fragile truce.

Dean thought it couldn't get much better. But it could get worse as he is called away on a big assignment. He can't decide whether to stay or leave. If he leaves, he'll save the world, again, but he'd be gone for a long time. If he makes it through at all. If he stays, he'll have a few precious months... before they all die.

.

Review reply; Dean and Sam were in England on a case, Ben was there on a year abroad on a scholarship, international students always have accommodation provided for them, either in form of a dorm/communal living or a "foster" family, depending on the school. They returned to the US after Ben's exams. They live temporarily in New York as Mikey is born, but move back home (the suburban nightmare) as soon as Ben was fit for travel.

I'm perfectly aware of how the age of consent works, so is Dean. And Gabriel. Castiel seems to have forgotten though... it was more to point out that he's not ten years old! *shudders*

.

-'*'-._.-'*'-

'-. _(*)_ .-'

"Ben?" Dean whispered as the teen pushed back against him.

"Dean," Ben muttered, "I need you..." Dean sighed. He was hardening too fast - all his blood rushing form his brain. "Just... feel me," Ben moaned, "please..."

Dean shakily wetted his lips, his hands resting on Ben's hip. "Sure?"

"Dean!" Ben hissed and grabbed his hand and pushed it down the back of his pyjamas.

Dean felt his heartbeat quicken as his hand slipped between Ben's cheeks. He was soaked. Dean frowned, "You planned this?" he whispered, nipping at Ben's neck.

"N-no," Ben whimpered. "It started... after Mikey... whenever I -" he swallowed.

"Got it," Dean said and pressed his fingers against the slick opening. He slipped right though. God. "My bag," he said, "Need condom-" It really wouldn't do for them to have another baby when Mikey was only a few months old. As Ben slipped halfway out of the bed to reach for the bag, Dean pulled his pyjamas off and kicked off his own boxers. He grabbed Ben by his waist and pulled him back up on the bed.

"Here -" Ben panted, his face pink as he handed him the blue foil.

"On your side," Dean ordered and tore the foil with this teeth. A part of his brain screamed a big no-no at him for using his teeth, but he could not be fucked right now. He rolled it on quickly and held Ben close as he pulled his leg over his hip. "Ready?"

"Mhm -" Ben whimpered and clung to him. "Oh -" he gasped as Dean slid into him, stretching him wide open. He sighed happily; it was like scratching a deep itch. Dean's rumbling growl of pleasure made him shiver. "Dean-" he mewed quietly as he felt the tick prick pushing deeply.

Ben couldn't help but arch and spread his legs wider, pushing back with everything he had. Dean growled and pushed Ben over on his stomach without loosing an inch.

He littered light kissed along his shoulder. Ben purred and pushed his back down so his bum came up. Dean grabbed his cheeks and dragged all the way out, relishing in how Ben just didn't seem to want to let go, holding on to him.

Ben curled his fists in the sheets and curled his calves over Dean's thighs, trying hard not to cry out as Dean pumped him firm and deep.

Dean relished in every little squeak Ben was trying to keep quiet every time he bottomed out. He just loved the feeling of his length sliding through the soft slick flesh. He loved invading Ben's body like this. He loved Ben welcoming him deep into his body like this. He loved thinking of the life they had created.

He loved the slick feel of his sweaty skin against his own. He loved the smell of their joined scents.

He loved Ben. And it scared him.

"Dea-n..." Ben whispered. Dean leaned down to kiss his shoulders. He rested his weight on his elbows and intertwined their hands, his front flush with Ben's back. With a rumbling growl Dean surged up, his back bowing, pressing as deep as he could.

Ben's breath hitched as Dean filled him so incredibly deep.

"I love you," Dean whispered, "-so much it makes my heart ache," He pulled away and pulled out, leaving Ben cold and empty. He needed to be closer. "Turn over," he said. Ben did, and Dean pulled him further down the bed by his hips. Dean covered him with his own body and slid back into the warm shelter of Ben's welcoming body. Ben gasped and curled his legs over Dean's hips.

Curling tightly together, clinging to each other like they were each others last lifeline.

Ben felt tears pooling in his eyes as the heat curled in his belly. Dean loved him. He loved him. Dean's rhythm was harder and deeper than Ben could ever remember having felt. The pleasure curled along his spine like fire.

"Ah- " he cried out as Dean hammered his prostate. Dean sealed his mouth with a kiss. He pulled out slightly and pressed the tip of his cock firmly again his wall. "Oh my -" Ben felt Dean press through him, and deeper and... he tore away from the kiss, gasping for air, "God -" His eyes rolled back into his scull.

"Shit -" Dean cursed as Ben clenched around him. He felt the heated sting at the bottom of his spine and it quickly spread through his gut. A part of him lamented the condom trapping his seed; he had an irrational need to mark Ben as his own. He'd set a permanent mark on Ben as he'd carried his first born, but he longed for Ben to carry him within himself, always.

Ben felt Dean swell within him and knew he'd come, but a part of him cried out for him; he wanted to feel him fill him; feel the warm liquid inside him. But those thoughts left him quickly as his body seized and his world went white before it darkened.

Dean smiled fondly down at Ben. He could barely move, but he knew Ben would be very uncomfortable if he stayed like this- not to mention the condom could break. Gently he untangled himself and held on to the condom as he pulled out. Ben mewled quietly. Dean placed a kiss on his brow and got up, "Just need to clean up," he whispered.

Ben didn't answer and Dean wrapped a sheet around his hips and opened the door. He glanced at Mikey in his crib and breathed out a sigh of relief he didn't know he'd been holding to see the little boy was still asleep.

Dean moved quietly towards the bathroom, hoping he wouldn't wake anyone. He knew the walls were less than soundproof and- shit.

Lisa stood awkwardly in front of him. Though probably not as awkward as Dean felt. "Uh..." His hand tightened on the tied condom in his hand and the sheet around his hips.

"You're bleeding," she stuttered.

"What?" He looked down to see a scratch on his arm, "It's nothing-" he felt his face heat up.

Lisa swallowed, looking Dean up and down. He was sweaty and scratched up. She smiled cautiously, "I don't think I've ever seen you blush."

Her words just made Dean go redder, "Well... I - fuck this is awkward."

Lisa let out a pearly little laugh; a sad laugh,"The last year has been awkward Dean..."

"Yeah I guess it has..." he looked away.

The silence was deafening.

"You really love him, don't you?" she asked, sounding almost sad.

Dean swallowed, feeling the fading blush flare up again, "I do..." he looked up at her, "So much it hurts," he added, vaguely echoing his earlier words.

Lisa bit her lip and nodded. "Make sure it stays that way." She set her dark eyes into him. "You broke my heart Dean. I'll live, but you break Ben's heart - again, whatever you've been fighting will be nothing."

Dean almost wanted to laugh. Not because he found it funny, but absurd. But at the same time he didn't doubt her. And he didn't doubt that many people- things, would help her get her revenge.

"Duly noted," he said and shifted awkwardly. "Uh, can I -" he nodded towards the bathroom door.

"What- oh!" Lisa stepped aside quickly, flushing beet red. "Of course."

"Yeah, thanks," he said, giving her an awkward smile and escaped into the bathroom.

Dean dropped the condom in the trash and breathed out harshly. That was nerve wrecking. Just awful.

He reeked of sex, covered in sweat and semen and Lisa was not the breed of naive that wouldn't realise exactly what he'd been doing.

He quickly went about his business before he slipped back to their room. His heart leaped in his chest as he saw Ben dozing on the bed with little Mikey on the mattress beside him.

"He woke," Ben whispered.

"Sorry..." Dean replied and slid in behind him. Ben just sighed and enjoyed that warmth of the body behind him.

Dean loved him. It was all that mattered.

Dean felt like crying.

Life had been perfect when he woke this morning, but of course, the shoe dropped.

He had to leave.

For the greater -fucking- good. He had to leave his family, his son, his... Ben.

It was a suicide mission. Gabriel had told him that he was nearly guaranteed to die, go to hell. But there was nothing he could do.

It was for Ben. As had been pointed out o helpfully, if he was not around, Ben and Mikey would be safe. Well, safer.

No demon would give two shits about his son if he wasn't around.

"You know I hate this Dean-o, but your kid is the next coming of Christ. Not a lot of people- demons know, but they'll be safer if you're not around. You know that. And we need you in Israel..."

Yeah, they needed him in Israel and had made a deal with Crowley of that Ben and Mikey would be safe from any demonic influence, rouge or otherwise, as long as Lilith was stopped.

The bitch hadn't given up yet...

And they needed Dean to stop Lilith.

Ben was crying. He was curled up in Dean's lap, clutching his shirt. They were out in the garden, protecting the little privacy they had.

Dean knew Lisa, Sam, Gabriel and Castiel were watching them, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He felt the tears starting to slip down his cheeks. He clutched Ben closer to him, hoping some of his innocence would rub off on him, so he could always carry some of him with him.

Only the night before they'd shared and been together in the most intimate ways, and now they'd be torn apart in the most brutal ways.

"Please don't..." Ben whimpered.

"I have to," Dean whispered back. "If Lilith breaks the seal we will all die, Ben. The last time she released Lucifer from hell, this time she'll release every soul from purgatory... those monsters will rip the world apart. The King of Hell and the Hosts of Heaven have put aside their differences and joined forces, but I'm the only one who can stop this for good- or at least for another few thousand years..."

"But you'll die..."

"I might, I probably will, but I've died before Ben, I'm a tough cockroach to squash -" Ben giggled, despite himself. "If I don't do this; we will die. We will all die," he pulled away so he could look Ben in the eyes, "You are the single most important thing in the world to me and I love you and I love Mikey more than life itself -"

"I know," Ben hiccuped. "I know. I know you have to leave, doesn't mean I have to like it..."

Dean just tucked the boy underneath his chin and held on.

"Let's go-" Dean barked, his voice rough, leather jacket in his hand and his duffel bag over his shoulder.

"Dean," Lisa said, approaching her ex. She could tell he was barely keeping it together.

"Yeah?" he replied gruffly.

"Don't die," she said, "I'll never forgive you if you die and leave Ben and Mikey alone," she said,

"I can live with it, as long as they're alive and safe," Dean replied, his heart breaking as he spoke.

"We have to go," Castiel's gravely voice interrupted them.

Just as they were about to leave, Ben caught Dean by his arm and kissed him deeply.

He refused to believe it would be their last kiss.