Heya, this is my favourite chapter so far. Might be a while till i get another out. Remember to review and spread the word..

Elle xxx

Chapter 10: The Truth

A strand of light filtered through the jade velvet curtains, the warm sunlight tinting my skin with the soft caress of morning. I opened my eyes slowly, watching the dust malts swirl and dance in the twinkling light of the early morning. I turned my head to the left to spy the empty place next to me. I sighed; I knew he would have left. I reached a hand out to trace the indent his head had made on the pillow. A stray blond hair stood out against the black sheet. The only trace he was ever there to hold me.

The sun twinkled beside me and whispered good morning, the room smelt of old books and dust. The figures in the pictures staring and whispering wondering who the strange girl in their master's bed was. I threw the covers off my clammy body, lifting my bare legs on the mahogany wooden floors. My legs were tender, the new skin Draco had made to heal me a shade lighter then my skin, the subtle difference keeping the memory of last night glued to my brain. I stood up wearily expecting pain to shoot up my body, I stood shaky but without falling. The room around me seemed to sparkle with the visible strand of sunlight.

I realised with a start, this was his room. This was the place he slept for his life, the place he sat and thought. The bed he slept in, the chair he'd read in. The room he cried and laughed and loved in. I suddenly felt closer to him; he had trusted me to trespass into a sacred part of his life. I felt a strange respect for this dusty old room, the room the Draco I knew in school would retreat to escape the harshness of the world. The room he would dwell in his secret desires and wasted hopes. The room that held all the secrets of a man i barely knew.

I walked closer to the pictures, recognising faces and people this time. There was a young Draco, maybe 13 with Crabbe and Golye, smirking. An old woman sat in a stuffy armchair and smoked a pipe that billowed out puce smoke. There was Draco and his father, Draco about 6 and smiling up at his dad with awe evident in his eyes. He was painfully thin, his skin paper white. But it was the happiest I had ever seen him look in his life.

I stepped closer to get a better look when my leg hit his bedside table and the door opened, paper tumbling out and falling at my feet.

I sighed and bent down to pick up the papers, they looked like old newspapers. I shuffled through them when one headline caught my eye:

HARRY POTTER SIGHTED

I grabbed at the paper excitedly, and sure enough there was Harry on the front of the newspaper, his glasses were broken and his hair was long and unkempt but there he was; my Harry. I felt tears well up in my eyes. He stared right at the camera, his eyes black from the print. I could almost see their green, glinting like cats.

"Harry..." I whispered stroking the place his face was. I guessed this had been taken months ago, maybe this was the last picture he ever had taken of him. But then in the left hand corner something caught my attention 4th Jun 1999. That was two weeks ago. I began to scramble through the daily prophets and sure enough there they were, Harry Potter: Dead or Alive? , Undesirable Number One thought to be in Romania, Where is THE BOY WHO LIVED? Over and over again his name, his photo flooded my eyesight.

I dropped the paper and leant heavily against the bed post. But this meant he was alive? I grabbed my head as the room started spinning. That made Draco's words seem plausible: "I feared the link between yours and Potters mind". He was alive! My heart beat faster and faster in my chest, drumming so loud I was sure I'd go deaf. Harry was alive!

The relief was almost painful as my heart began to inflate and swell to twice its size. He was alive! I could barely wrap my head around it. Harry... my Harry. I put one hand over my heart as it beat in ecstasy. Slowly my joy turned to horror, Draco had told me he had died. He had lied to me about something so important. Why?

I made my way to the landing.

"Hesten!" I screeched. The elf came hurrying up the stairs, her left arm in a sling and a faint puckered pink mark along her face.

"Yes mistress?"

"Where is Draco?" I enquired.

"Mr Malfoy has gone out, miss"

"Do you have any idea when he'll be back?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"He did not say Miss Granger"

I had a sudden urge to hit something; the house elf looked at me with wide trusting eyes. "Miss Granger does not look well, would you like me to bring you some food?" the elf asked quietly.

"No" I sighed. "No thank you"

I wondered back upstairs, walking back into Draco's dark room and locking the door behind me. I sank to the floor, my back pressed against the door; covering my face in my hands. I suddenly let myself feel the pain of the last few months. I had been here nearly a year and I finally realised how much of myself I had lost. I had given my life to a monster who had lied and tortured me. I remembered the hate engulfing his eyes last night, the pain I felt by his hand. The humiliation I had suffered and would continue to suffer if I stayed here.

What the hell was I thinking? He was nothing but a murderer, a cold hearted vile killer. With a scream of rage I hit the door beside me. I started to storm about the room; I pulled the lamp down from the bedside table, smashing it beneath my feet. I grabbed the nearest draw and began refilling through its contents.

Papers were ripped; the sheets were pulled off the bed. I picked up the broken lamp and hurled it at the mirror with all the strength I had. I kicked and punched the furniture, screaming with rage and hate and fear. I pulled the pictures off the wall, leaving Crabbe and Golye crumpled in my hands. I reached towards the one of Draco and his father but I couldn't do it, couldn't touch it.

I slumped off the bed, lowering my head into my hands and closed my mind. I sat in the destruction of his room and thought only of how much it all hurt. I had sat there for hours, or was it mere minutes? It was hard to tell. The full moon outside glittered through the curtain, bleaching the carpet a startlingly soft white. It was night already?

The click of a lock as the door opened. His figure stood blackened in shadow, only the eerie grey light illuminating his form in the door way. He stood tall, staring right at me, I couldn't see his eyes but I could feel his gaze. I stood up awkwardly as my legs were stiff from sitting in one position so long.

All the rage I had felt before drained from my body, I just felt weak and broken again. I swayed and stumbled as the figure swooped in to catch me. His cold arm ran around my waist to help support me. As soon as I felt his touch the flame ignited again and I pushed from him with as much force as I could manage. I faced him for just a minute, the moon hitting his face so all I could see was the delicate silver of his eyes.

It was silent for a moment as he regarded me; his eyes then swivelled to the floor where the discarded newspapers were strewn for all to see.

"You weren't meant to find those" his whisper sliding through the night like a deadly serpent.

"And that makes it okay does it?" I contradicted. "You lied to me"

He didn't say a thing just turned his face so our eyes met.

"You're nothing but a filthy liar, a villain and a murderer. I was stupid to think you were anything more than that" I started, the rage tightened round my heart like a coiled snake. "You are and never will be more than a Death Eater" I watched as my words hit him, each making him flinch. I was silent for a moment as his facade returned and his eyes turned cold again.

"I'm leaving" I shot past him, but before I could reach the door his hand locked on my arm with a vice iron grip.

"No you're not" he almost growled at me.

"Don't touch me" I hissed as venomously as I could. I stared at the cold dark expression on his face. "You make me sick, Draco Malfoy" I spoke slowly, watching how his eyes grew darker with every single word. His hand on my arm tightened further, turning into a painful throbbing. I tried to jerk away but his hand held fast as he continued to clutch my arm. A small whimper of pain escaped my lips before I could stop it.

"I make you sick do I Granger?" he spat through bared teeth, his eyes murderously angry. "Do I?" he screeched as I tried to wriggle away from his grasp. He lurched forward suddenly, pulling me alongside him. We sped down the dark corridors of the manor, me whimpering as his hands pulled painfully at my arm. We passed through the great hall and it looked as if he was taking me to his office but before we reach it he diverted us to a door half hidden by the bottom of the ornate staircase in the great hall. The door was old, a faded oak, with elaborate snakes chiselled into the wood.

Draco took his wand from his cloak and ran it up along one of the snakes, whispering something that I assumed was parseltongue. The door opened with a long creek it was as dark as night and as Draco dragged me inside I felt a definite draft, the room smelt damp. The door closed behind us with a soft thump and with a wave of Draco's wand the room was thrown into sudden light. It was some sort of vault; the walls were a faded grey stone with a sprinkling of old fashioned torches that were suspended in mid air.

"Come" Draco ordered as he let go of my arm. He stalked forward into the dark hallway, each light illuminating when he walked past. I followed timidly behind him. Every item in here was obviously of extreme value and many had the S of slytherin emblazed onto them. The room was full of glittering objects, gold and silver that reflected the torchlight beautifully. Draco's destination had not yet been lit but it seemed to be a source of strange blue light at the end of the long tunnel. He sped forward towards the glow, his graceful figure missing the cracks in the stone floor as I tumbled and tripped behind him.

As we drew closer I saw what the object was. It seemed to be a shallow basin, a border of runes encapsulating the top of the basin. The blue light was in fact a blue silver substance that resided in the centre of the basin.

"But that's..." I gasped.

"You thought you were the only ones Albus Dumbledore left something for in his will?" Draco asked as his left eyebrow rose.

Of course I knew this object; it had stood in the study of Professor Dumbledore for years. And here stood the pensieve in the secret vault of the Malfoy family. I took a tentative step towards it, and indeed there was the saying written in runes.

"A moment lasts all of a second, but the memory lives on forever."I reached out to trace the silent motto. Suddenly a wave of grief for Albus Dumbledore swept through me.

"It turned up on my doorstep one night. With just a note" Draco voice was quieter now as he watched the liquid in the pensieve glow.

"What did it say?"

"Here" Draco took a folded bit of parchment from the floor by the pensieve. It was a dark brown and frayed at the edges but I took it gingerly and read the words in the startlingly familiar slanted handwriting of my old friend.

Dear Draco,

As a wise man once said; "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." I hope that you do not repeat my mistakes and will forever have roses in whatever months you choose.

Yours

Albus Dumbledore

"James Matthew Barrie" I whispered.

"What?" Draco asked.

"He said that, about the roses" I explained.

"Hmm, well Dumbledore was always very cryptic" Draco whispered. The potion curled in the basin, swirling into exotic patterns. From the corner of my eye I saw Draco stiffen as he watched the liquid. Finally he sighed and raised his wand to his forehead. With another long breath he extracted a quivering length of silver substance that I knew to be a memory. With a tap of his wand the memory fell into the basin without a sound. I looked up at him to see his face in some sort of torment. His eyes appeared to be lost in memories I couldn't understand. He turned to face me, his eyes softening as he watched me.

"You need to see this" he spoke softly, his grey eyes flooded silver as he spoke. I turned back to the basin suddenly terrified of what I would see. It was a second before I realised I was shaking. Draco came up behind me and laid both his hands over mine.

"Please, Hermione" he whispered, his breath hitting the back of my neck and making me shiver in delight. I condemned him, how was he able to make my heart race by just breathing?

I took a deep breath before plunging my face headfirst into the pensieve.

I fell wildly for a few seconds before my feet found solid purchase on the stone steps in a very familiar corridor of Hogwarts. To the left of me was a collection of large stone statues of hippogriffs. Outside the window the night was dark and the stars twinkled and shone. I quickly hid behind a nearby statue as I heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

A girl entered the corridor, her hair long and curly, but carefully tamed in a diamond clip. She walked possessively along the corridor, her body long and elegant in powder blue dress robes. The girl's graceful figure illuminated by the tight fit of the gown.

She turned left at the end of the corridor and disappeared. I creeped from my hiding place and watched the space my past self had walked by. A slight shot of movement to my left illuminated a figure half hidden by the shadow of the statue I was hidden behind.

"Draco?" I asked quietly. But of course he couldn't hear me. His eyes were glued to where my past self had fled. He looked pale and withdrawn, his thin body covered in a long black cloak. With a sigh he turned and hurried back along corridor. I followed him as he sped through the blackened corridors of Hogwarts. The soft melody of music from the great hall floating through the empty corridors. He stopped in the third floor corridor and made a bee line for the boy's toilets. I followed after him.

He threw his cloak off; his velvet black dress robes fitted him well.

"Ugh! You're so stupid Draco!" he mumbled. He began to pace along the length of the bathroom. He must have been about 14, he looked so tired. He stormed towards the nearest cubicle and kicked it with as much force as he could before he sunk to the floor.

"Why can't I get you out of my mind?" He seemed to be talking to himself. His eyes were stormy grey as he sat on the cold bathroom floor "and why did you go to the Yule Ball with that pernicious Viktor Krum!"

I gasped. We were in fourth year, and he was talking about me? Me and Viktor. The memory began to shimmer around me, the young Draco disappearing in a puff of smoke. The setting distorted and danced as if we were in water and suddenly solidified. I was in another familiar corridor. A long tapestry hung on the wall opposite me. Draco stood pacing past the tapestry three times, his face bowed in concentration.

The door appeared in front of him and with a backwards glance he went through the door into the room of requirement. I slipped in behind him. The room was piled high with various objects, left by the millions of Hogwarts students. The high walls of debris creating menacing and dark shapes in the night. Draco made his way through the maze easily, obviously knowing his way. His destination was the vanishing cabinet that had caused so much trouble in sixth year.

Draco reached one hand out to it, slowly touching the faded wood.

"Can I do this?" he whispered, closing his eyes and leaning heavily against the wooden door. I took a step towards him as the younger Draco sighed loudly. "Who am I kidding? I'm destined for this, I'll never be good or kind or honest" his hand traced the golden door knob on the cabinet "I'll never be good enough for her" he whispered. For one sudden moment I longed to reach out, just to touch his face.

But his eyes had turned hard, a steel grey and with a flick of his wrist he opened the cabinet. From deep within I heard the voices of Death Eaters. Bellatrix appeared slithering out of the dark like a snake, followed by Greyback and Dolohov.

Bellarix walked towards Draco and stroked his blond hair. "Good work Draco" she smiled before taking off into a run and exiting the room, the death eaters following close behind her. Draco took one final look at the cabinet before hurrying after the others.

Outside the room the fight was in full swing, I remembered this fight well. The night Harry had left with Dumbledore to search for the locket. Me, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville had been on lookout duty. Ron was at the head of the group now, the Marauders Map clenched in his hand as he shot a curse at Dolohov. Luna and Neville were tackling Bellatrix whilst I was being circled by Fenrir Greyback.

I watched the fear clench the 17 year old me's face as the werewolf took a step closer to my younger self and sniffed my neck. To my right I saw Draco's face tighten, watching Greyback. He pointed his wand and whispered an incantation under his breath. Greyback was suddenly thrown backwards with the force of the spell. Draco shot a stunning curse at Ron, running past the group towards the Astronomy Tower.

The world began to shimmer again, the very walls fading into darkness. This time I found myself in a Hogwarts dormitory, the hangings green and silver. Outside the night was black. Draco sat cross legged on the bed opposite me. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He held a small piece of paper in his hands.

"You're such an idiot Granger" he whispered. His voice was the only sound in the deserted dormitory. "You couldn't just give in? No, you had to be brave and loyal" he suddenly looked up, his grey eyes looking straight at mine and for a moment I swore he could see me. "You had to love him didn't you? And you will die for it" his expression had hardened since the last memory. He looked more like the Draco I had come to know recently. But in the darkness of his eyes I saw the hidden misery. The sadness that still stalked him wherever he went. He looked so much older this time.

"Malfoy!" a voice called from downstairs. Draco sighed; placing the piece of paper under his pillow he grabbed his wand from his bedside table and walked towards the exit. I walked closer to his bed seeing a daily prophet on his bed. The headline Undesirable Number One blazed across the top of the newspaper. So we were in seventh year now... the year Harry and I were on the run. I tentatively lifted up his pillow. I took the paper in my hand. It was a photograph. The person in the photo was staring straight at the camera, her eyes a dark brown. She blinked and smiled, her cinnamon coloured hair falling past her shoulders in soft waves. Her uniform was spotless, the gryffindor symbol blazed on her black school robes. I stared at the photograph of myself and felt the tears fall from my eyes.

From downstairs I heard the words I knew Draco had been dreading these long months "They got him Draco, they have Potter!"

The world turned to blackness again, only to be reformed in a horribly familiar room. The high ceilings were a dark grey colour; the fire crackled the way I remembered it did that night. I was suddenly bombarded with screams, my screams. This was the night we were taken to Malfoy Manor, the night I was taken from Ron and Harry forever. Bellatrix stood above me and pointed her wand at me, screaming in fury as I writhed below her - screaming for mercy. Draco stood beside me this time, his eyes shone in rage as he watched his aunt torture me.

"Enough!" he screeched suddenly.

"What did you say to me?" Bellatrix asked; her eyes wide and crazy.

"Potter and Weasley have escaped! What use is hurting her for?" He demanded.

She turned back to me. "Where are they?" she screamed in rage, as I writhed beneath her.

"Stop!" Draco shouted, "You're going to kill her."

"Good! One less filthy mudblood in the world" Bellatrix smiled a cruel smile that still managed to make me shiver.

"No! She may be of use later, she could help lure Potter into a trap" Draco said quietly.

"They left her here, she can't have meant too much to them" Bellatrix cackled loudly but pointed her wand away from me. The old me fell onto her arms and began to weep, loud sobs that left her body painfully.

"You're wrong" Draco whispered. "The Dark Lord said she was not to be killed!" he spoke more forcibly than before.

"And who are you to the Dark Lord?" Bellatrix turned her dark stare to her nephew.

"I am of more value to the Dark Lord then you Bellatrix" Draco stared at his aunt, his grey eyes unflinching. "And you will do as I say!" he spoke confidently.

Bellatrix's eyes reduce to slits. "I'd watch yourself Draco" she whispered before turning her back on Draco and storming out of the room.

Draco's body sagged momentarily before he turned his attention to me. The past me lay a broken heap on the floor, but my face was serene in sleep as I had collapsed. He took a quivering step towards me, falling to his knees to sweep the sweaty hair from my face. His hand stayed on my face for a second.

"Forgive me" he whispered before running his lips over my forehead just once. He lifted me up in his arms and without another second he apparated from the room, taking me to the relative safety of Azkaban.

The room shook and changed once again, this time I was in a dark wooded area. Draco stood a few feet in front of me, his dark grey travelling cloak the only thing telling me it was him. The night was dark and hauntingly familiar.

"Potter!" he roared. "I know your here, I need to speak to you!"

It was silent for a few seconds before I saw a wavering in the air around Draco. Harry appeared as if from nowhere. The shield charms I realised, they were stopping me from seeing the tent he was staying in.

Harry stood wand pressed securely at Draco's throat.

"Malfoy?" Harry's voice was like ice. "What have you come for?"

"I'm not here to fight you Potter" Draco said softly.

Harry stiffened but did not lower his wand. "Then why are you here"

"I need to speak to you about Hermione Granger" Draco said slowly.

"Where is she?" Harry screeched, pushing his wand further into Draco's jugular. I started running towards them, suddenly frantic that Draco shouldn't be hurt.

"She's safe" Draco's grey eyes remained calm.

"Where is she?" Harry asked again through gritted teeth.

"I took her from Azkaban this very night. She will be staying in Malfoy Manor from now on" Harry's hand began to slack as his jade green eyes lit up with curiosity.

"Why?" he asked.

"I wasn't going to leave her in that awful place. They hurt her there" Draco's face turned down in disgust.

"Since when do you care about what happens to Hermione?" Harry asked his suspicion evident on his face.

"I've always cared, Harry" Draco said quietly. "And I've decided the only way she can be truly safe is if I help you."

"You're going to help me?" Harry asked incredulously. "Somehow I doubt that."

"You don't really have much choice, you need me. I can get you vital inside information. I am the Dark Lords most trusted servant" Draco answered, his grey eyes clear and sincere.

"That's what I'm afraid of. I don't trust you, Draco" Harry said sceptically.

"I don't think you really have a choice, Harry" I really looked at Harry at this point, he was dirty, his hair long and unkempt. A large gash ran down the right side of his face and dark bags were visible under his eyes. "I can help you obtain and destroy the horcruxes" Draco spoke again.

"How do you know about that?" Harry asked quietly.

"I know a lot of things" Draco smirked, some of his school day smugness sneaking into his expression.

Harry looked up at Draco, his wand arm lowering as he saw the utter truth evident in Draco's eyes. "I don't understand" Harry sighed in exasperation "why are you doing this?"

"Remember this Harry Potter" Draco's eyes grew unbelievably soft and tender. "I have done awful things before, terrible things. But from this moment I will never stop trying to make it up, trying to be better. From this moment I won't stop trying to be good enough" he uttered the last words as if he was speaking a prayer.

"Good enough for what?" Harry asked.

Draco didn't answer, his eyes just grew distant and he tightened his left hand. Where I saw the corner of a photograph peaking through his fingers - my own dark brown eyes staring up at me.

I was plunged into another memory, this time the roaring of waves hit my ears and the smell of sea water assaulted my senses. I stood atop a cliff face, a steep drop to the ocean. In the distance I could see the ruins of a castle. This place was familiar, the coastal town he had taken me but two days ago.

Draco apparated in front of me, his eyes crazed and miserable. There was blood on his white shirt.

"Draco?" Snape appeared by my side. Draco teetered, unstable on his feet as the sea wind pushed him.

"Severus. I cannot do this any longer!" Draco screamed, his voice somewhat lost in the roar of the ocean.

"You must Draco." Snape snapped.

"I am not the man he wants me to be. I killed innocent people tonight!"

"I am aware of your orders Draco" Snape answered coldly.

"I thought this would stop when I changed sides" Draco sighed.

"Our job is the hardest Draco. We must do things the others wouldn't dare. We hold the most secrets and hide the most of ourselves. It's hard to be good when everything in our life tells us to be bad" Snape spoke to Draco affectionately.

"How do I keep up with this? How do I hold on to myself?" Draco implored to Snape, his eyes so very confused. He looked young again, like a lost vulnerable boy.

"You remember why you chose this path" Snape said severely. "Why did you choose this, Draco? "

Draco's face hardened. "I didn't want to be a monster"

"That's not it, and do not pretend it is" Snape said quietly. Both men were silent for a moment as the rain poured off their faces and the sea churned in anguish.

"Each day the Dark Lord becomes wearier of me. And each day Potter gets closer to destroying him" Snape said softly.

"And do you not fear it Severus?" Snape turned his black eyes to Draco "Do you not fear death?"

"Something awaits me in death that is far more beautiful then what dwells in life. I have done what I must in life; I'd like to think I have helped lessen the burden of my sins. But no Draco I do not fear death. Not when something infinitely precious is waiting for me on the other side" Snape's eyes burnt with a passion and his face held such a look of serenity that he looked younger, more handsome.

"And what is waiting for you?" Draco asked.

"Love" Snape answered, his lips turning up in a smile. "It is something the Dark Lord fails to understand and fails to grasp. Love is so vital to the world that he cannot possibly posses anything without knowledge of it" Snape's black stare found Draco and his eyes bored into Draco's own. "But I think you are aware of that Mr Malfoy"

"Love is doomed in a world so full of darkness" Draco's eyes looked out to sea as he watched the churning of waves.

"You're wrong" Snape stated. "Love is light. And you fight for it Draco. You never stop fighting for it"

Snape was silent for a moment before he grabbed Draco by the shoulders, forcing Draco to look into his own dark eyes. "Promise me you'll never stop fighting for her"

"I don't know who you mean" Draco said quietly.

"I am not entirely ignorant Draco. I know who lies in your hotel room as we speak and so does the Dark Lord"

"Why do you care?" Draco snapped, his wall instantly rebuilt.

"Because we are very much alike; more so than you realise" Snape smiled morosely "I must go. But Draco, do not give up on her"

"You haven't seen the way she looks at me. The way she has always looked at me. Such hatred" Draco's eyes were lost in such a deep misery that I felt that ache to comfort him again.

"I knew a woman like her once and I loved her very much" Snape smiled in nostalgia.

"What happened?" Draco whispered.

"I became the man I am today" Snape answered "a much better man because of her"

Draco sighed quietly. Snape took a step away from him "allow love to guide you Draco, it is often a very faithful master" and with a final nod Snape disappeared with the next gust of wind.

Draco stumbled toward the cliff face and sighed quietly, the rain running across the perfect porcelain contours of his face. He took a very faded and creased photograph from his cloak pocket, looking down at it with sorrow in his eyes.

"What do you do to me, Granger?" his voice was hushed and his mouth rose up in an impossibly sad smile before he apparated away with a final pop.

I was suddenly thrust from the memories with the force of a gale wind and found my face resurfacing from the pensieve. I stood rigid for a moment before turning to face the boy who was the sole reason for the tears sliding off my face and for the acute ache in my heart.