Summary:

Cultural misunderstanding! Aka the trope where hobbits have really really sensitive ears.

Notes:

SOME OF THIS WAS WRITTEN WHISLT DRUNK! Jose Cuervo makes me weird.

On a happier note, this is the longest chapter I have written yet! The next update will have what we have all been waiting for, a Billa/Thorin confrontation, a real one. This chapter seems to be mostly filler but I wanted to update for you guys. Expect the next update within a week.

If anyone is interested in becoming a beta for me, I would love it.

Thank you for reading and commenting

Chapter 11

It was well after supper when the Company reconvened in their King's tent to discuss Gandalf's "advice" and how they could make amends to their Burglar.

"What if we made her a feast?" Kili's grin was large and excited, "Just like she had for us in her hobbit hole?"

Fili rolled his eyes at his brother "We don't know how to cook, you idiot."

"Noooooo" started Kili eyes roving over the assembled Company, "But Bombur does!"

All heads turned toward the rotund dwarf who was mid-way through chuffing his ale.

"Well I never," Bombur sputtered his drink across the table "I have been cooking for the lass for the last two weeks! I've made her every meal and delivered it too!"

The table fell silent as the dwarves appraised the ginger chef.

"And she accepted it?" shouted Fili

"Course she has you daft bugger! Same as Dori's coat!"

Now the oldest Ri brother found himself subject to the incredulous stares.

"I promised her a coat in Laketown. So I made one several weeks ago. She looks quite fine in it." He added fiddling with his cutlery as everyone exploded around him. "It's not my fault none of you had the stones to follow through on your promises! Ori, Bofur and I are dwarrows of our word."

"Bofur and Ori?" shouted Dwalin, his face flushing in exasperation, did none of them talk anymore? "Don't tell us you gave the lass presents too?"

"I made her book" Ori wouldn't look up from worrying his knitted mittens "of our greatest tales, just like I promised her in Rivendell."

"I carved her a pipe I did, told her I would teach her to smoke." Bofur puffed his own pipe blowing a smoke ring into his cousin's face. "Course Gandalf's the one teaching her now I s'pose." The toymaker lost the twinkle in his eye at the reminder.

"But your gifts, she accepted them and uses them?" Thorin had been silent for most of the evening but now his eyes burned bright in the flicker of the candles.

"Aye" they responded.

"Don't you see?" the King gestured to all of his friends "we made Billa many promises, why don't we show her we can keep them? Bofur, Dori, Ori and Bombur have already started with theirs but I know we talked of many things on our journey." he stood from his chair and began pacing the length of the tent, his hands behind his back. "Maybe, just maybe, if we show her that all of our words, even the most insignificant were heartfelt and sincere she will give us the chance to prove that our remorse and regard for her are real as well."

"Well what are we waitin' for!" roared Dwalin "Let's figure out what all we promised the lass!"

The Company agreed with a rousing chorus of "Aye's!" and Ori got out his parchment. They would spend the rest of the night recounting every last thing they had promised their Burglar upon the winning of Erebor, from silks to flowers to feather beds and hot baths, they were all reminded of the small things Billa had recalled so fondly and decided to be dwarves of their word and provide for her like the family she was. The next week would show an increase in packages to the Elvenking's tent, parcels big and small, some in boxes some wrapped in silks but all of them were precious and thoughtful; all of them brought a small smile to Billa's face and tears to her eyes. More importantly every day she opened a gift she would sleep the night with undisturbed dreams.

"What in the world?" the other occupants of the tent heard Billa's surprise and traded curious looks with each other.

"What did you get my dear?" Gandalf asked Billa who was behind the curtains surrounding her corner of the tent.

"Dresses, Gandalf, Gloin sent me dresses" she said throwing back the curtains moving towards him with hands full of fabric, "Why in the world…. They've never even seen me in a dress." she held one against her body, "How do they know my size?" her cheeks flushing at the thought of them finding her measurements.

"Well" Legolas waved his hand imperiously, laughing at her predicament from his chair "let us see them all."

"You would find this funny you stripling of a prince." She murmured holding up a maroon one with gold embroidery.

"Clearly there is no accounting for taste" Thranduil turned from his papers at the table, eyeing the dress with open disgust. "The embroidery is awful."

"The embroidery is just fine" she shook the dress at the Elf king "you just don't like the geometric patterns. This green one is rather good." She held the other dress for their inspection, the skirt a deep emerald with a lighter green bodice to go over a new white shift.

"That one is," Thranduil made a so-so motion with his hands "slightly better."

"You are just saying that because it is green." She teased, ignoring his smirk. "You will think all of them are ugly, because they came from a dwarf!"

"Obviously" he drawled to her back as she went behind the curtains again.

"Ada," Legolas sighed putting his head in his hands "you are the absolute worst when it comes to clothes."

"I am no such thing!" was the indignant reply, as he huffily straightened his papers. "I merely have an impeccable sense of fashion."

Billa tried to hold back her laughter by placing a hand on her mouth, but she could not contain her mirth for long and even though it was at his expense, even Thranduil smiled when her guffaws started echoing through the tent.

After the dresses came a polished silver mirror from Bifur and a mother of pearl handled brush and comb set from Nori. One night there was a copper tub filled with hot water waiting and vials filled with scented oils and soaps, the note said the bath salts would help with her headaches. Mahal bless Oin! And for the first time in a very, very long time Billa got to luxuriate in a hot bath, cleaning months of grime from her hair and feet. The next morning she brushed her curls till they shone and put on the beautiful green dress from Gloin. She couldn't hold in her gasp when she looked in her new mirror. There was a face she hadn't seen in quite some time, a pretty shire lass with copper curls and green eyes. Sure her cheeks were a little sharper and her eyes a little wiser, but it was still a familiar face and now it was clean too. What a glorious day today would be.

Fili and Kili were absolutely stumped on what to give to Billa. They had never talked of the future, choosing to focus more on the everyday aspects of their quest. They had taught her to ride a pony and track game, she taught them to play conkers. What kind of presents did you give to a sister? They went to the only person they could trust with such a problem, they went to Thorin.

"Uncle Thorin, are you here?" the tent was dark and night watch had started hours ago but they would be too busy to ask tomorrow.

"Ugh…" came their Uncle's voice, Fili held their candle aloft to illuminate his cot while Kili searched for another candle to light. "What could you possibly want right now? Go back to bed." Thorin rolled away from the light, hoping they would obey his dismissal.

"But Uncle," Thorin brought a hand up to rub his eyes, Mahal give him strength "we don't know what to give Billa and since you have a sister, we thought you could give us ideas." That certainly got his attention and he rolled over to face his nephews who had settled in the chairs at his bedside, "Really boys?" he was almost pleading "this has to be done now?" they nodded emphatically "Jewelry boys, brothers give sisters jewelry. Keep in mind" he cautioned "that Billa is a hobbit and not likely to want something similar to what you mother wears."

"So no golden neckbands dripping in sapphires?" asked Kili

"Definitely not, think simple, try and find something she could wear every day."

"Right," Fili smiled brightly "I think we can take it from there!"

"Good night boys." called Thorin as they blew out the lights "Good night Uncle."

Thorin could hear their traded whispers as they left his tent and walked down the rows of tents. Mahal help them when they started courting, they were idiots.

The brothers had not had reason to enter this part of the mountain since before the battle but the gold was as gleaming and plentiful as ever. The treasury was so large, where would they even start looking for jewelry? It's not like Smaug had a sorting system, "Come on Fee, if we're lucky we will find something acceptable before dawn." So they started sorting. They uncovered swords and axes, crowns and armor, Fili even found a trunk made of silver of course there was jewelry but none of it was right. It was all bulky and dripping with gemstones, they wanted something as beautiful as Billa but something simple that she could wear every day. There were beads of course ones made of mithril or set with opals, hundreds of thousands of beads, but they didn't dare give her something they weren't ready for. Dawn came and they could hear the guard change when they finally found it, trapped under a chalice and partially tangled with a length of gold chain holding enormous tiger eyes, it was perfect!

"Oh Kili, I think this will do perfectly! If we hurry we can have it sent to her with breakfast! Come on!" and so the two Princes sprinted for the entrance hall, sliding down golden mountains to rush to the cook tents. Billa would be sure to love her present, it was perfect for a hobbit lass!

Billa was just sitting down to breakfast with Legolas and Gandalf, using table manners that were only slightly rusty to avoid soiling her new dress, when a messenger was shown through the tent flaps.
"I have a gift to deliver to Lady Baggins." his bow was so low his beard was almost folded over his own feet, "It is from the Princes Fili and Kili; they hope you find it pleasing." He answered her silent query as she reached for the box, scampering out before she had returned to the table.

Her two breakfast mates paid her little heed as she toyed with the small wooden box, knowing well enough that she was deep in thought about the acceptance of the gift. She had deliberated about opening each one she had received and sometimes a parcel would sit unopened for days while she deliberated her feelings for the gift giver. This was the first to come from any of the heirs of Durin and neither would be surprised if it remained on her bedside table for some time. Before either had finished their tea she gave a great sigh and tore the ribbon from the package.

"So soon?" Gandalf's tone was cautious and questioning, none of the gifts had had such a short consideration and she knew he was worried that she was acting too rashly.

"My heart aches from their absence," her small fingers spun the box on the table "if any would be worth further pain, it would be them." Gandalf and Legolas patiently waited for her to open her gift, not even trying to hide their interest, who knew what the Princes would pick as a gift. But whatever it was must have been mortifying to Billa, for no sooner had she eased the lid of the box open as she was slamming it shut again with a loud squawk, her face flushing a deep scarlet all the way up her ears.

"What in the world is in there?" Legolas asked with wide eyes, surely it must be something awful to get such a reaction from the level headed hobbit. But she did not answer him; her eyes still focused on the small box on the table, like she couldn't quite comprehend what she had seen.

Just as suddenly as her face has shown it surprise it morphed into anger. Her mouth tightened and her brows drew low and her shaking hands clenched around the box as she rose to feet. "How dare they?!" she screamed it as she stomped from the tent, flinging aside the flaps in her haste and startling the guards outside. The wizard and elf prince were stunned in their chairs, "Gandalf, where is she going?" he pointed after their hobbit, "Nowhere good Legolas." He scrambled from his chair to run shouting after Billa, the Woodland Prince almost losing his balance in his haste to follow.

They would not have known where to go, had the girl not left a trail of gaping elves and men in her wake. The path she had walked was littered with people standing and gaping, some in amusement and some in fear, more fell into the latter category, a mad hobbit lass is naught to be trifled with. But when the path led from the camp of men and elves to dwarves, the looks left turned to surprise and, in some cases, awe. They finally caught sight of her as she strode up to a large blue tent, a pennant snapping from its peak showing the crest of the line of Durin. What could have been in that box, to cause such a reaction?

She really hadn't known what to expect when she opened her gift from Fili and Kili, it was a small box so it wasn't a solid gold Oliphant which they had joked about at the start of their journey. Though maybe it was a figurine? That would be perfect as a mathom to commemorate her quest. She would have never guessed what lay in the box and thinking of it made her cheeks start to redden again, she could feel the blush burning in her ears.

They gave her earrings! They were made of a delicate gold cuff attached to a chain, with small chips of emeralds hanging from it in the shape of various leaves which connected to a large emerald stud. This was absolutely mortifying! How could they give her this? Oh Eru, the messenger said it was from both the princes, BOTH of them. What kind of hobbit did they think she was? Just because the Shire thought of her as some sullied tart, doesn't mean she is! She wouldn't take those implications from the old biddies back in Hobbiton and she certainly wasn't going to take them from some stone headed princes. Oh she was going to show them. She killed Azog the Defiler! She saved their Mahal cursed lives! HOW DARE THEY!

She didn't hesitate to leave the Elvenking's tent and start stomping towards the border of the two camps. The faces of the people she passed bringing a brief flicker of amusement but not enough to distract her from her mission. She stepped into the camp of the Iron Hills dwarves quickly, not allowing herself to think about who exactly she was going to see, she was mildly insulted that Fili and Kili thought hiding in the middle of an army would deter her! Billa refused to acknowledge any of the dwarves she passed, not even for Dain who waved with a bewildered expression behind his beard. Soon enough her feet carried her towards a large blue tent in the center camp, with a pennant baring the crest of Durin's line above it. She had them now!

"How dare you!" she stride was still strong when she stormed into the tent and up to the table the two princes were eating at. In hindsight Billa would recall the boys exchanging shocked, open mouth looks and there being a loud intake of breath form the tents other occupants, occupants she was steadfastly ignoring now. She didn't care if they were hosting Mahal himself! "How dare you two!" she threw the box towards Fili's head which he caught a scant few inches from his nose, the bastard. Fili and Kili were staring at her with open mouths, bewildered that a Hobbit who hadn't seen them in weeks was charging into their tent in the middle of breakfast with the majority of the Company. A hobbit that was apparently infuriated at their idea of a present.

Fili regained his wits before his brother; "Billa, we thought it was perfect for you." her eyes grew even harder at this admission. "Perfect for me?" Billa practically spat her words "Is this what I am to you?" having no idea what was so upsetting they could only nod their heads in utter confusion. "You think I'm some trollop who would accept something so vulgar!"

"Vulgar?" Billa whirled from the princes coming to face Bofur, "What did they give you lass?" the miner's gaze turned to the princes, how dare they make insinuations about his sister!

"Earrings!" she answered, her face flushing beet red mortified to even mention the accursed jewelry. Billa's answer garnered a slack jawed expression as Bofur turned from Fili and Kili, who could only shrug their shoulders and make exasperated 'I have no idea' gestures behind Billa's back, to Billa, "Earrings?" he parroted it back to the angry hobbit, "How are earrings vulgar?"

Casting her gaze backward once more, she finally saw the terrified and confused faces surrounding her, "Oh." Billa said eyes widening as she turned to examine the details she had been too angry to take note of, like the fact that most of the Company were sitting on various furniture pieces staring at her like she was mad. Gandalf and Legolas must have followed her for they stood next to Oin and Gloin who were seated on a bench just inside the tent entrance, Gandalf looking extremely amused. Ori, Nori and Dori were sitting on the cots and Bofur, Bombur and Bifur must have been using the stools and desk to perch on. With her face still flushed, though now from embarrassment, Billa hesitated to ask her question, "Are earrings not vulgar? To dwarrows?"

None of the company seemed willing to answer, convinced they would only end up angering the hobbit again. But Gloin, courageous fool that he was couldn't keep his gob shut, "Course not! I gave my Silri a fine pair when I asked her to start courting!" and like a dam had burst the rest of the Dwarves started speaking over each other to reassure Billa that no, earrings were not a vulgar gift for dwarves.

"Uncle Thorin gave our mother a pair for her birthday once!"

"Dwalin used to wear one before his ear got ripped."

"I made my Amad one for my jeweler's mastery."

"So...you weren't calling me a trollop?" she turned her wide eyes back to Fili and Kili,

"NO!" Just as they were together in everything else, they did this together "Mahal, no Billa!" "We though you would like the leaf designs." "We would never think you were a trollop!" "If anyone ever calls you that we'll cut off their beard." "Where in the world did you get this idea?!" so Billa's embarrassment grew, while this was not the first cultural difference they had encountered in their time together it was the first one that Billa had reacted so strongly to, it was also the most, personal. It was Gandalf who spared her from answering, "Hobbits have very sensitive ears, Master Kili." And even hearing such a thing mentioned made Billa want to raise her hands and cage her ears beneath her fingers.

"What in world do you mean Gandalf, Hobbits have sensitive ears? Don't we all have sensitive ears?" The grey wizard hemmed and hawed while searching for the best words to explain such a delicate topic, "No, Master Fili you don't understand, a Hobbit's ears are extremely sensitive."

"Oh!" replied the Princes, nodding together as it all started to make sense, and slowly the rest of the company catching on as well, "Oh, OH." And suddenly the Prices REALLY got it "Ew. Ew. Ew" Kili covered his own ears, "Oh dear Mahal." Fili looked at Billa his eyes blown in terror and they both turned to look at each other, "They're Sensitive!" they crowed in absolute horror, the understanding and attention of the Company finally driving Billa to raise her shoulders in attempt to hide her ears from any possible scrutiny. "Stop it!" she hissed, her face even more red, "We don't talk about it!"

"Indeed" Gandalf continued his lecture in an even tone "Hobbits do not talk of such things outside a romantic relationship. While we all know now," he emphasized pointedly, "that you never meant such a thing, you must understand this from Billa's perspective, to gift an adornment for such a sensitive area is tantamount to a vulgar proposition, outside of a marriage at least. If you were married it would be considered quite the, um, prelude, yes that will work nicely, quite the prelude!"

"Damn right we didn't mean it that way!" Kili vehemently stated as he and Fili walked around the table to stand by Billa, placing one of his hands on her shoulder "We will find you a different gift, a better gift."

With her embarrassment fading, Billa could not believe the ludicrousness of the situation and let loose a loud, beautiful laugh. It bubbled in her belly and worked its way free by shaking her all the way to her toes. Gandalf joining her in her mirth with Legolas and suddenly the entire tent was filled with it. There were snorts and snickers and rumbling chuckles. They laughed and laughed until Billa was wiping tears from her eyes, leaning against Bofur to keep herself standing. It felt like ages since she felt this wonderful, not since Laketown at least and that was almost two months ago. As Bofur slung his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side her tears leaked from her eyes a little faster and instead of just leaning against him she turned into his shoulder, taking a deep breath of the lingering smells of weapon oil and copper. She had missed them all so much! When Bofur's other arm came around her waist and pulled her tight against his chest she didn't fight her laughter turning to sniffles and the sniffles turning to sobs, she just clutched tighter at one of her dearest friends.

Though their laughter was loud everyone was quick to notice when Billa's laughs turned to tears, here was their Burglar, their fierce little Billa, and while she was clean and well fed and looking beautiful in the dress Gloin had given her, her shoulders hung and her hands clutched Bofur's jacket like it was a lifeline and she seemed so very sad. She was obviously hurt by their actions and selfishness, but here she was with them again, maybe now was the time to start mending the chain they had broken.