It was blue. It was beautiful.
It was made of crystal, looked fragile but was not.
"Just like you", Grandpa had said when he gave it to him, smiling
Helped him wear it around his neck, a birthday present
A 5th birthday present, a year before Grandpa passed away
Grandpa said there were another Father and another Mother for both of them
For everyone
Dad and mom loved them, Father and Mother love them too
Father and Mother are always there, even though they couldn't see them
The blue crystals would make him feel closer to Mother and Father
And prayer would allow him to talk to them.
He didn't understand what Grandpa said, but it was calming.
Just like today.
It was cold, he was shivering
The blanket on his bed would feel good
It was hard and solid beneath him, his limbs hurt
His soft bed would feel like heaven.
His palm around the blue crystals, they were warm
"Help me," he whispered
"Help me, Mother,
Help me, Father,
Please help me, Mother,
Please help me, Father."
Today he wasn't good enough again
And it hurt again
"Mom, where are you?" He had whispered
"Help me, mom," for night after night
She promised him and he remembered
But she never came
And he realized, she didn't love him anymore
because he wasn't good enough. She wouldn't come back for him
She had Feliciano, why would she need him?
He remembered about what Grandpa said, Mother and Father will always love him,
Always.
So he begged them, "Help me."
Mom and dad didn't love him, but Mother and Father do.
So why didn't he just go to their place?
Why did he stay at the place of mom and dad if they didn't love him? It would only be worse for both sides.
So he waited and begged everyday.
That way, maybe Mother and Father would finally come to pick him up.