Worthy of Love

by amber2011

THIS IS NOT A NEW STORY - HAD TO RE-UPLOAD. It's been six months since Sam, Mercedes, and Finn have been in a threesome relationship. Now they have to face all of their issues and it strengthens their bond. Sexual Content (explicit sex M/M/F); Strong Language (cursing); Sexual/Physical abuse; Race Issues (colorism, bigotry, slurs); Religion; Homophobia; Supernatural

11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

SUMMARY: Sam has some issues he's hiding from Finn and Mercedes; Rachel pays Finn a surprise visit; Mercedes gets a chance to act out her sexual fantasy.

RATING: Mature

WARNING: This chapter has very explicit sex that is more "raunchy" than usual. Please read with discretion.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the long delay in updating. Life got the best of me. I've noticed an increase in favorites and alerts and that put a big smile on my face so THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS, ALERTS, AND FAVORITES!

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IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE THE WAY THEY LOVE ME

It was late afternoon and Finn, Mercedes and Sam were relaxing in the Hummel's living room, watching Firefly and munching on microwave kettle corn. The window was open and the sounds of summer drifted in - the shrill bell of the ice cream man, lawn mowers humming, and kids splashing in the pool. Finn sighed in contentment as helaid his bare legs across Sam's lap, an icepack pressed against his swollen knee. He wore a pair of old basketball shorts that hiked up his large thighs; the dark hair on his legs was in stark contrast to his pale skin. Sam once told him that he loved his hairy legs and Finn chuckled at the odd compliment, but something in his heart fluttered.

He watched as Sam affectionately stroked his legs, squeezing the muscles in his calves and thighs. Finn leaned back onto Mercedes' soft, full bosom. She draped her arms around him, hugging him close as she kissed the top of his head; he rubbed his stubbly cheek against the silky smooth skin of her arms, causing her to giggle. A few moments earlier, his mother brought them glasses of freshly squeezed lemonade. Finn knew she was only checking to make sure that they weren't doing anything X-rated on her new brown, suede couch, but she had no reason to worry, they would never risk being caught.

"Is the ice working?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah, sweetheart it is. You guys didn't have to come over. It wasn't that serious."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Finn, you're our boyfriend, you slipped and fell in the garage and hurt your knee. Of course we would come over to check on you."

"I understand but my Mom already took me to the doctor and everything. It's just a little sprain and besides I know you want to spend more time with Stacey now that she's in better condition."

It had been a week since they witnessed the miracle of Stacey waking up from her coma. Finn would go to the hospital with them as much as he could and he was growing to love Stacey more each day. He sang her favorite songs and even had tea parties with her in the hospital lounge much to Sam and Mercedes' amusement. They would all sit on her pink quilt on the floor and drink from tiny pink plastic cups filled with watered down apple juice and nibble on rosewater cookies.

"We do but you're important to us too," Sam said as he lifted the ice pack and placed his hand on Finn's injured knee, "Now, I'm going to massage your knee like I saw you do for Kurt when he hurt himself doing yoga."

"Ok," Finn said, "But be gentle."

"I'm always gentle," Sam said, giving him a little smirk.

"Not always," Finn responded, and then Sam leaned over and kissed him, it was sweet and brief and Finn tasted the tartness of the lemonade on his full lips.

"Gentle enough for you?"

"Well you weren't gentle in the rose garden, in fact neither of you were; we almost got in trouble that day."

Mercedes shifted behind him and whispered in his ear:

"That's because we missed you." She kissed his neck, nibbling his flesh a little, until he moaned softly.

Finn was getting aroused. Then he remembered his birthday, and he smiled to himself. Sam looked over at him.

"You're thinking about your birthday, aren't you?"

"How did you know?"

"I got a sixth sense, I guess." His voice was hollow.

"Babe, you ok?" Finn asked.

Sam gave him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He gripped Finn's knee and said:

"I'm fine, it's just that I don't want you to be disappointed on your birthday."

Finn sat up a little, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Why would I be disappointed?"

Sam avoided his eyes and didn't say anything. Mercedes tightened her arms around Finn.

"Look, you can tell us anything, what is it? You can't come with us to Blaine's summer house in Kentucky?" Finn asked him.

Sam shook his head and sighed.

"No, it's not that but the three of us need to talk and I don't know how to say this -–"

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

"Damn!" Finn said as he struggled to get up from the couch. Sam pushed him back down.

"No, you stay put. I'll answer the door," Sam said.

Finn leaned back against Mercedes.

"What do you think he had to tell us?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I wouldn't worry until we know what it is."

Finn nodded and kissed her hands. Then he heard a familiar female voice - the slightly whiny tone and perfect diction meant it could only be one person: Rachel Berry.

Mercedes loosened her arms from around him and was trying to move away. Finn grabbed her wrists.

"We don't have anything to hide, remember?" He said turning to look at her.

"Are you sure? After all it is Rachel," Mercedes said, keeping her voice low.

"You aren't a dirty little secret and I refuse to treat you like that. I love you and Sam and I don't care who knows it."

She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around him again.

Rachel bounced into the living room wearing a ridiculous tight black dress that came just above her knobby knees, shiny black high heel shoes and a cropped pink satin jacket; her long hair was stuffed under an ill fitting black curly wig. Sam was right behind her looking rather bemused by the entire outfit.

"Hi Rachel," Finn said with a tight smile, "What brings you here?"

Her eyes grew wide as she gazed at them curled up on the couch. Finn couldn't believe that she came over without calling first and that pissed him off, especially because she showed up right in the middle of a very important conversation. He smelled her floral perfume as she sat down beside him on the couch, clasping her hands in front of her, looking rather embarrassed.

"I didn't realize you had company," she said, "I was surprised when Sam answered the door and I didn't expect to see – "

"How are you doing Rachel?" Mercedes said, breaking the tension, "What's with the outfit?"

Rachel jerked her head; she was obviously startled by the question but she answered, "Oh, I just came from an audition for Grease, it's playing at that new dinner theater on the east side. I want the role of Rizzo."

Sam sat down in the recliner and said, "Really? You seem more like a Sandy."

"That's what the director said too, but as a performer I want to challenge myself," Rachel said, her dark eyes determined, "At the musical theater camp I went to last month, they taught us to take roles that were the opposite of ourselves. So I went for Rizzo, the sexy, sassy girl, who is like the anti-me, so to speak."

"Well, I hope you get the part," Mercedes said and then she gently pushed Finn aside, so she could get up from the couch. Finn grabbed her hand.

"Sweetheart, where are you going?"

"I was going to make some more popcorn, if you don't mind," she said as he pulled her down for a kiss. Rachel cleared her throat.

"Could you get me a glass of water?"

The two stared at each other. Mercedes' eyes drifted over Rachel as if she were sizing her up. Rachel folded her arms and straightened her back. Then Mercedes smiled.

"Sure."

"Thank you," Rachel replied.

"No problem," Mercedes said and then she turned to Sam, "Could you come with me to the kitchen, please? I need your help with the popcorn."

Sam looked confused for a moment, but when Mercedes raised her eyebrows, he quickly scrambled out of his seat. Finn reached out for Sam's hand as he passed by, and pulled him down until they were eye level, kissing him on the lips before they both exited the living room, leaving he and Rachel alone in an awkward silence. He stared at Rachel squirming on the couch, her cheeks bright red. She was practically hyperventilating.

"Finn, just what the hell is going on?"

"What do you mean?" Finn responded.

"You know what I'm talking about. Why are you kissing Mercedes and Sam? What's going on?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but they happen to be my boyfriend and girlfriend. The three of us are in a relationship and it's very serious. And you still haven't answered my question, why are you here Rachel?"

Rachel's mouth hung open in shock.

"You mean to tell me you're bi? How long have you known? Did you want to be with guys when we were together?"

Finn ran his hands through his hair and shook his head in frustration; Rachel was working his nerves.

"I don't know if I'm bi. All I know is that I love Mercedes and Sam very much. When we were together I was never attracted to guys."

She cocked her head to the side and her curly wig shifted. "You could've come to me if you liked guys, I have two dads, you know."

Finn just stared at her; he didn't know what to say to that.

Rachel picked at a thread on her dress and then said, "I can't believe you just told me that you're with Mercedes and Sam like it's no big deal."

"It isn't a big deal. You're just overreacting as usual."

"Finn, don't be stupid, it most certainly is a big deal. Does anybody else in glee club know?"

Finn sat up a little and winced when a wave of pain shot through his knee. He pressed the ice pack against it to get some relief. Rachel looked at him and her eyes softened.

"What happened?"

"I fell in the garage - nothing major. As for who knows in glee club, Puck, Santana, Kurt and Brittany know."

"So Quinn doesn't know?"

"No, I haven't seen her all summer. She probably wouldn't care one way or the other."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Finn shrugged. "Whatever."

"Do you know what you're doing is completely insane? So the three of you are going to waltz into school holding hands and kissing on the first day?"

"Why does it matter to you anyway? You and I aren't together anymore, remember? You dumped me for that asshole, Jesse."

Rachel looked away from him for a moment then said, "I know that we're not together anymore, but I'm still curious. How did this start with Sam and Mercedes?"

"Rachel, please, not now. The three of us fell in love. That's it. I'm no good at telling stories. You know that. Now for the last time, why are you here?"

"I miss you," she whispered.

"You miss me?" Finn was angry.

She nodded. "Yes, I miss you Finn. That's why I came by to see you and well -"

"Are you fucking kidding me? You want us to get back together? What about Jesse?"

"You don't have to use that language with me. I don't deserve it!"

"But I deserved to be dumped at the Lima Bean just ten minutes before Jesse comes to pick you up for a date!"

"Finn, please, it was a mistake. I had no idea that was how it was going to turn out."

"But you took a chance anyway."

"I had to take a chance. Besides I didn't think there would be any risk that you would - " She stopped suddenly, and then said, "It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is now."

"What were you about to say? No risk that I would do what?"

Rachel shook her head. "Forget it, Finn, it doesn't matter."

"Rachel, I can tell when you're lying."

"I'm not lying."

Finn watched as she glanced toward the kitchen door and then it hit him.

"You thought I would wait for you, didn't you? You knew how much I loved you and you figured I would just sit and wait for you to come back, am I right?"

Rachel didn't respond. Finn balled up his fists.

"I loved you. And you sat there in the Lima Bean and told me that we were through and that you wanted to be with that prick and you hoped I understood. Do you even know how much you hurt me?"

"No," she whispered.

"More ways than you can imagine."

Rachel was crying. "Finn, I did what I thought was best. I wanted New York and so did Jesse."

"I wanted to go to New York with you."

"What?"

"On the day you dumped me, I had a special evening planned. I got two tickets to see Waiting for Godot at the community playhouse because I know it's one of your favorite plays. And then I made reservations at Osaka Green so you could have vegan sushi. I hate sushi! I hate plays about two dudes waiting for another dude that doesn't show up! I did all of that because I wanted to make you happy! Maybe that was the problem, I was trying too hard to make you happy, and nothing was good enough," he took a deep breath then continued, "I was going to tell you that I was trying to find a way to go to New York with you. I wasn't sure how I could do it but I wanted to talk to you about it and maybe we could've come up with something together. I was willing to go with you. Lima wasn't the end of the road for me."

"I had no idea that you wanted to come to New York with me."

"You never asked," Finn said.

Rachel hung her head then raised her eyes to meet his. "You seemed content to stay in Lima and work for Burt."

"I would've followed you anywhere, that's how much I loved you. I also had something I wanted to give to you that day."

"What was it?"

"Go to the hall closet. On the second shelf there is a box wrapped in silver paper."

Rachel left to get the gift. As Finn waited for her, he remembered how he came home on that awful day and shoved the gift into the hall closet because he didn't have the heart to throw it away. He spent the evening playing Call of Duty with Puck and drinking beer; Puck told him that Rachel was a bitch and he was better off without her; they had a good time getting wasted and it wasn't until he stumbled into bed in the wee hours of the morning that he finally let himself cry. After a few minutes, Rachel returned with the box and sat down on the couch, holding it on her lap, unsure of what to do next.

"Go on and open it. It's not anything bad, I swear," Finn said, sensing her reluctance.

"I know, I just…" her voice trailed off and she slowly unwrapped the present. Once the silver paper was removed she opened the box and stared into it for a moment, her eyes filling with tears.

"Finn, I –"

"I wanted to give you a piece of New York," he said in way of explanation.

She pulled out all of its contents: a stack of Broadway playbills from her favorite musicals, an Empire State Building paper weight, subway maps, postcards of the New York skyline, a silver music box that played New York State of Mind and other various trinkets and mementos. She inspected each item carefully, tears running down her cheeks. She clutched a Statue of Liberty key chain and looked over at him.

"I don't know what to say," she whispered.

"I thought you could use that key chain to put the key to your first New York apartment on it."

By this time, Rachel was sobbing, her make up was smeared and her nose was running. It wasn't a delicate, proper cry, but the kind of crying you did in private behind closed doors in a dark room. Finn grabbed the box of tissues on the coffee table and handed them to her. He didn't think she would react like that and he wasn't sure what to do.

"You can go in the bathroom if you want," he said.

She took the tissues and began blowing her nose - snot strings hung from her nostrils. Finn looked away in disgust. After she snorted and hiccupped her way through a fistful of tissues, she was finally able to speak again. Her voice was pained.

"I got caught up with what Jesse said he could do for me. I wanted something more than Burt's garage and the Dairy Queen. You understand? I'm so sorry, Finn."

"Why did Jesse break up with you?"

Rachel blew her nose. "How do you know it wasn't the other way around?"

"Because I know you, Rachel."

'What does that mean?"

"It means that you have to be a very special person to put up with your crazy mental bullshit, and Jesse is not a special person."

"And you were that special person?"

Finn folded his arms. "I like to think that I was."

"If you're referring to my unwavering ambition, you're wrong. That's not why Jesse broke up with me. He met somebody else – a blonde with double D breasts. He said they had a connection.

"And I can only guess what the connection was. You didn't want to put out, did you?" Finn said.

Rachel got defensive.

"Is that why you're with Mercedes and Sam?"

Finn took a few deep breaths to calm down. His relationship with Sam and Mercedes was so much more than that. Even though the sex was phenomenal…

"I love Sam and Mercedes and they love me for who I am. For the first time, I feel good about myself."

"Well, that's special," Rachel muttered.

"You're right it is special. And it's something we never shared. I feel them right here," Finn said, holding his hand to his heart, "I feel them so much that it scares me. Even when we're apart, I know when something is wrong with them. My mom calls it intuition. I just think it's love."

"How can you love two people?"

"I don't know – I just do that's all. I loved you, but it wasn't as deep. I mean we shared a lot together and it was good sometimes. But I always felt like you wanted me to be somebody else."

Rachel touched his leg. "It was deep for me. Remember that star necklace you gave me?"

Finn nodded. "Yeah, what about it?"

"I still wear it because it makes me believe in myself even more."

"Rachel…"

She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes.

"What about our duets? You enjoyed that didn't you? The way you looked at me - nobody has ever looked at me the way you have."

"Rachel, I know you loved me and I loved you, but we aren't right for each other. I enjoyed singing with you, but I like to sing because it's fun, not because I want to be a star. I don't get a hard-on watching the Tony awards the way Kurt does. I'm a simple guy. I like being with the people I love and taking care of them, that's it. Yet that's not good enough for you."

"Finn, you were always good enough. I just didn't see it."

He shook his head.

"No, I wasn't. You're a very talented girl and I don't doubt for a second that you will be the next big thing on Broadway. You have what it takes. Don't you see? That's your first love. Not me, or Jesse, or any other guy."

"Maybe so, but Broadway doesn't encourage me or give me goodnight kisses on my doorstep," Rachel said, as she wiped her tears, "I need that in my life too."

"You do need that, just not from me."

"Finn, just listen to me for a second -."

He held up his hand.

"Enough. I don't want you back Rachel. I love Mercedes and Sam and they don't care that I'm not smart or that my body isn't perfect, or that I don't always hit every note, and it feels great. I don't have to try to be somebody I'm not."

Rachel didn't give up. She squared her shoulders and looked him the eyes:

"In case you haven't forgotten, you did choose Quinn over me. I forgave you. Why can't you do the same? We both made mistakes."

"What I'm doing now isn't a mistake, and I forgive you about Jesse. But my relationships with you and Quinn weren't right for me."

"And this thing you're in now is right?" Rachel asked snidely.

Finn pushed her hand off of his leg.

"It isn't a thing Rachel, it's a relationship. Yes, it's working out just fine."

She crossed her arms, shaking her head.

"I would never picture you with Mercedes, I mean she has an awesome voice and can be nice when she wants to be, but I never thought you would be with someone so – how can I say this delicately… ruebenesque? She pursed her lips, raising her eyebrows.

Finn wasn't sure what rubenesque meant but he wagered it had something to do with her size.

"Don't talk shit about Mercedes. She's beautiful and I love her."

"Finn, calm down. I'm also surprised about Sam because of what happened between you guys over Quinn."

"We made peace with that a long time ago. And now we love each other."

She sighed.

"I'm sorry Finn – I just can't grasp what your new relationship is. You had deep feelings for me. This gift proves it. I could give you more than they could." She scooted toward him. He moved away from her before she could get any closer. The desperation in her dark brown eyes worried him.

"Rachel, it's over. You dumped me for Jesse and now you realize you were wrong, but it's too late. I don't want you. And another thing, you could never do more for me than Sam and Mercedes."

"If this is about sex, don't worry. I know I had some reservations and abstinence was my choice, but I've changed, and I think I can ease up on how far we can go. The experience could make me a better performer too; I could get rid of this virginal aura and get cast in more challenging roles."

Finn clutched the couch pillows to keep from loosing his temper - which was getting more and more difficult to do.

"I don't believe it. You don't want me. You just want to have sex with me so you can get the part of Rizzo. God, Rachel, how pathetic are you? Why didn't you just sleep with Jesse?"

She looked down at her hands.

"Jesse wasn't you, ok? And you're wrong; I don't only want you back so I can sleep with you. I want your love and support."

"Let's just say I was stupid enough to take you back, what would I get out of it?"

Her eyes grew wide.

"What do you mean? Isn't being with me enough?"

"No, it isn't. The reason I love the relationship that I'm in right now is because we all support and care for each other. When I got hurt, Mercedes and Sam came right over to check on me. That's why they're here now. When I had the flu last year, I never heard from you at all."

"Finn, you told me not come over so I wouldn't get sick."

"I know but you didn't call or even text, and then when I did see you at school you wore a mask and wouldn't kiss me for a week."

Rachel adjusted her wig.

"Finn, you know how I am about germs. I can't afford to be sick; my voice must always be in tact."

"You just don't get it do you? Ok, here's an example. Last month was Burt's birthday and he wanted to go to the Monster Truck Jamboree over on Harding Highway. Now that's not exactly my idea of a good time but I went, in fact all of us went, me, Sam, Mercy, Kurt, Blaine, and my Mom and we had a good time. Mercy didn't want to go because places like that make her uncomfortable, yet she went anyway, because that's what you do when you love someone, it's little things like that."

"Alright, I'll do things like go bowling with you and even eat at Denny's will that make you happy?"

He threw up his hands in exasperation; she wasn't getting it and he was tired.

"It's more than that. Look, you want a cheerleader and that's fine, yet you don't give anything in return. I need to be encouraged just as much as you. I may not want to be a star but I do have dreams."

Tears slipped down Rachel's cheeks, she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"I still love you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But Finn, I'm scared."

"Rachel, you'll be fine, no matter what. Like I said before, stardom is your first love and nothing else, and no, it may not be the same as having someone hold you after a performance, but it's in your blood, and I know that's never gonna change."

She was silent for a few moments then said, "Will I always be alone?"

"I don't know that's up to you."

He felt somewhat sorry for Rachel. She looked so small and sad on his couch, wearing that awful costume, trying to be sexy but only coming off as inexperienced and immature. Her make up was garish and childish – the lipstick was too red, the fake eyelashes were crooked, even her bubble gum pink nails were too much like a little girl and not enough like the woman she longed to be. Then there was the push up bra that thrust her tiny breasts upward like a pitiful offering. Slowly, she rose from the couch, almost losing her balance in her high heels.

"I better go. I'm sorry I came," Rachel whispered.

"I'm not. You needed to hear the truth."

"Maybe so, but it hurt."

"Now you know how I felt," Finn said.

"What do Burt and Carol think of your relationship?"

"They have some issues. But they're happy for me."

"I see. I wish I could say the same."

Finn didn't respond. Instead he recalled every detail of their first kiss: her eyes sparkled, her lips tasted like cherries and her heart beat fast against his chest, it was a nice memory, yet that was the past. His future was with Sam and Mercedes and he couldn't have been happier.

"I guess I'll see you in Glee Club when school starts," she said, as she fumbled with her giant pink purse, and tucked her gift under her arm.

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it."

"Thank you, Finn."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you liked the gift."

"Not just for the gift but for loving me. Telling me I was beautiful when I wanted to get that nose job. Believing in my talent. I never said thank you, did I?"

Finn shook his head. "No, Rachel, you never did. You took me for granted. It's nice to hear though and you're welcome. I did love you. Those feelings were real."

She gave him a sad smile then walked out of the living room, her heels tapping softly against the hardwood floor. When the front door shut, Sam and Mercedes emerged from the kitchen, looking concerned.

"Is everything ok?" Mercedes asked.

"Come here, baby," he said reaching for her and pulled her into a hug, kissing her. "Everything is fine. We got closure."

"I wanted to listen at the door but Sam wouldn't let me."

Finn laughed, "You know I tell you guys everything. No need to eavesdrop. You never did bring her that glass of water."

"I know but it's not like she was looking for it. Besides, you two needed to be alone."

Sam plopped down beside him and Finn hugged and kissed him too. Sam held his face in his hands, "I'm glad you guys talked. You never say anything about Rachel."

Finn shrugged. "Not much to say really. We loved each other but it didn't work. I wasn't the right guy for her."

"Thank God, for that!" Mercedes said and kissed his cheek.

"Thank God is right," Sam said as he gently placed Finn's legs across his lap, "You're the perfect guy for us, Finnegan Jacob Hudson."

Finn smiled when he said his full name. His mother would only call him Finnegan when he was in trouble. Suddenly he remembered the conversation before Rachel came.

"So are you going to tell me why you think I will be disappointed on my birthday?"

Sam began massaging his knee. Finn was impressed that he was doing such a good job.

"Do you mind if we talk about it later?"

Finn panicked. "Babe, is it something serious?"

Sam stayed focused on Finn's knee and didn't answer him.

"You know you can tell us anything. Whatever it is we'll work it out," Mercedes said.

Finally he looked up and said:

"It's getting kind of late, I have to get home and help Aunt Patty with dinner."

"I thought we were all having dinner here. My mom is making lasagna, remember?" Finn said.

"I'm sorry but I forgot that I was supposed to help Aunt Patty, besides she needs her car," Sam said, then he turned to Mercedes:

"Do you mind getting a ride home with Kurt?"

"No, not at all," Mercedes said.

Finn grabbed Sam's hand.

"Sam, please tell us what's wrong, you're scaring us."

Sam kissed his hand.

"Everything is fine. I just have to go."

He gave them each a quick hug and a good-bye kiss and was out the door. Finn sat there dumbfounded.

"I want to know what's wrong with him," Finn said.

"I do too. He's been better about opening up to us since he's been in therapy, yet he still keeps a lot of stuff bottled up inside," Mercedes said hugging him close.

"Yeah, you're right," Finn said and then kissed her, it started off gentle but grew more passionate, his hands roamed underneath her shirt, and he lightly touched her hardening nipples.

"Finn…" she breathed.

Suddenly, he heard Kurt's voice:

"Keep it G-rated!"

They broke apart from each other laughing. Kurt stood there with his hands on his hips, looking at them with a disapproving glare. He wore a red shirt with lots of zippers and khaki shorts.

"I know you guys love each other, but can you tone it down a little?

"Where did you get that shirt?" Finn asked. He thought it was weird.

"E-bay. Vintage 80s." Kurt said airily then sat down in the recliner. "Hey, where's Sam?"

"He had to leave," Mercedes said.

"That's too bad. I wanted to tell you guys all about the summer house," Kurt said, "Why did he have to leave?

Instead of answering his question, Mercedes changed the subject, "Hey Kurt, did you know there's a clearance sale at Elder-Beerman's?"

"Really? You know, I've been eying that blue linen shirt!"

As the two of them droned on about the sale, Finn thought about Sam. He wanted to know why their boyfriend suddenly was acting strange about his birthday. They had all been excited about spending the weekend in Kentucky and now it seemed like Sam didn't want to go. Finn was really looking forward to it because it meant uninterrupted time with the two of them and he also wanted to make love as much as they could. He missed their naked bodies pressed against his and being buried inside Mercedes while Sam talked dirty. Lately, he had been jerking off even more, just thinking about Mercedes' huge breasts or Sam's hard cock. And now he wanted to explore more with Sam, and actually have sex with him. The three of them had talked about it and Mercedes was more than pleased. It always amazed Finn how loving Mercedes was; she felt that if they shared that part of themselves with each other then their threesome bond would be even stronger. He kissed her neck. Mercedes smiled at him:

"Getting a little frisky, remember Kurt wants us to keep it G."

"Thank you, Cedes," Kurt said, folding his arms in righteous indignation.

"Kurt, you're my brother so I'm saying this for your own good. Dude, you need to loosen up, how far have you and Blaine gotten?" Finn asked.

Kurt turned as red as the zippered shirt he wore.

"That's none of your business, but I keep Blaine happy. Enough said."

Finn laughed and Mercedes playfully swatted at his head.

"Oh, leave, Kurt alone. Not everyone is comfortable talking about sex."

Their conversation returned to fashion, and Finn was again left to his thoughts. He closed his eyes and imagined the three of them lying naked on the bed in the summerhouse, with Mercedes spread wide and Sam behind him, his cock thick and hard. He hoped that it would all become a reality. He just wished he knew what was wrong with Sam. Kurt left the room to go get some lemonade and Mercedes turned to him and said:

"I know that Sam will tell us what's wrong when the time is right, but if he ends up not wanting to go to Kentucky, let's not give him a hard time, ok?"

"Mercy, I would never do that. I know that Sam has a lot of demons, it's just that it all seems so sudden, you know? He was excited before."

She stroked his cheek. "I know but be prepared if we have to cancel our trip."

They snuggled together on the couch and Finn still worried about Sam and wondered if everything would work out.

---

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

The next day Sam sat in Rosa's office wringing his hands. She sat across from him in the purple recliner; her bare feet peeked out from under her long turquoise skirt. New age music played softly in the background and Sam found it soothing, but he couldn't meet Rosa's inquisitive eyes. How could he say what he had to say? Finally, he blurted out:

"I'm afraid to have sex with Finn!"

Rosa nodded.

"Do you feel this way because of the rape?"

Sam's eyes filled with tears. He tried so hard not to cry, but Rosa told him to never hold in his emotions, and that there was no shame in crying. So he let the tears fall.

"Yes. I love Finn. A lot. I want to share myself with him the way I do with Cedes but what if I get flashbacks? I know that he's not Reverend Barnes, who was an animal, yet I'm afraid of what will happen. You see we're all supposed to go to Kentucky for his 18th birthday and stay in a house that Blaine's family owns. His family is loaded so the place is supposed to be really nice. Anyway, we all talked about taking things further and having sex with each other and at the time I was really happy about it. Now the weekend is coming up soon and I'm getting scared. I'm having nightmares too."

Rosa got up and sat beside him. She held his hand.

"Sam, I want you to listen to me. Don't do anything you're not ready to do. We've made a lot of progress with our sessions. I know that you love Finn and he loves you, but if you're not ready to take things further, then don't. If he loves you as much as you say he does, it won't matter."

"I get what you're saying, but part of me feels ready and part of me feels afraid. I mean we've touched each other and kissed, stuff like that, we just never had actual sex. Not even oral. At first we only wanted Cedes, now everything has changed and I do want more; I just don't know if I will freak out or not. The only guy that's ever had sex with me was Reverend Barnes and that was rape. I can still remember how it felt when he forced himself on me, Rosa, I just…"

Sam started crying and Rosa put her arm around him. She understood his need for touch and Sam was grateful for that.

"Finn and Cedes are my everything. I don't know if I can give that part of myself to him. When we thought my sister was going to die, Finn came by the house with a present for her; and that morning we fooled around, I was the one who wanted to do more stuff, I was aggressive. Now I'm confused. One moment I'm all for going further and the next I'm scared. We stopped because we both want Cedes there when we get more physical with each other."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain. The best I can say is that she's like our center. She connects us. And when we finally come together, we want her there to experience it with us, without her it wouldn't be the same."

"What if the center shifts?"

"What do you mean?"

"With a relationship as unique as yours, I believe that the center sometimes shifts. One person will be the focus for a while and then next time it will be someone else. It balances it out because all of you love each other so much that you're willing to let the other be the center. Does that make sense?"

"I think so. Who do you think has the center right now?"

Rosa paused then answered: "Right now, I think it's Finn. You said yourself he's been feeling left out and even a little jealous since he's working more, and the three of you haven't been able to spend as much time together. But these positions are always changing, that doesn't necessarily mean he will remain the center."

Sam nodded, "Well, I think you're mostly right. I agree it does shift but Finn and I both agreed a long time ago that our job is to keep Cedes happy, so even though it may shift, she's like the center most of the time."

"That makes a lot of sense, but bear in mind that relationships are ever evolving. Now back to having sex with Finn, only do what's comfortable, if you feel any panic, or even the slightest discomfort I want you to stop immediately. Perhaps you should just continue to touch and kiss each other at first and then as the situation becomes more comfortable you go a step further, but only baby steps, I don't want you leaping into anything you can't handle. Finn and Mercedes would never want you to be hurt by any of this. I think your main concern is penetration, am I right?"

"Yes, you're right. Finn has such love in his eyes when he looks at me that kissing him feels wonderful, so does hugging and touching him. So I don't think about Reverend Barnes or anything like that because I know he loves me and only wants me to feel good. Then when I think about us being inside of each other, I get scared. I think that fear has been there all along – I just buried it."

"That's understandable. It's hard to separate two sexual acts when one is an act of violence and the other an act of love. I want you to write down what you need to feel comfortable, such as how he kisses or holds you, anything that will allow you to associate this as love and not remind you of the assault and also include anything to avoid that may trigger a flashback. And you haven't said anything about this to Finn or Mercedes?"

"No, not yet. Everyone is looking forward to this trip and when we discussed it; I was all for it."

She squeezed his hand. "I want you to tell them exactly how you feel about this and share that list with them."

"What if they get angry or something or think I was leading them on."

"Sam they love you. I highly doubt they would be angry."

He sighed. "I guess so. It's just that my first time with a girl I wasn't this nervous. I mean I was nervous, but I didn't have any fear."

"Besides the rape flashbacks, what other fears do you have?"

"I feel like they have all these expectations of how this will finally bring us together and I don't want to let them down."

"What does it feel like when the three of you make love?"

"Wonderful."

"Then how can this be anything less than that? No first time is perfect. You said yourself that you wanted to share yourself with him, that's what this is really about. Don't get me wrong, it's about physical needs too, but underneath, it's about how much you love each other. No matter what happens, nobody will be let down, I promise you that."

Sam thought about what she said, but his doubts lingered.

"I just want our relationship to be stronger, and I'm afraid if I don't follow through, it won't be."

"Your relationship already is strong. Whether or not you and Finn have sex won't change that."

Sam sighed. "That's true. You know you're really good at this."

Rosa tilted her head and smiled. "I hope so. Now I want you to promise me that if anything feels wrong or if a panic attack starts that you will stop. And please don't hesitate to call me on my cell."

He hugged her. "I won't and I promise."

She got up from the couch and walked over to her desk and poured herself a cup of tea.

"Would you like some tea?"

"No, I'm not a big tea drinker, but Cedes is. What kind is it? It smells really good."

"It's Sudanese cinnamon tea. When my parents adopted me from Sudan they tried to make sure I knew about Sudanese culture and food and my mother would make this tea for me."

"You're adopted?"

"Yes, my birth parents were killed when rebels raided their village. I was just a baby. My Sudanese name is Charuni. People could never pronounce it so my mother named me Rosa after her great grandmother."

She sat down next to him and he breathed in the aroma of the fragrant tea; it almost made him want to try some.

"I always wondered where you were from."

"Why didn't you ask?"

"I don't know. I guess I didn't know if I should."

She took a sip of tea. "I don't mind questions."

"Ok, I have one more, but then there's something else I want to talk about."

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Why are you always barefoot?"

Rosa threw her head back and laughed.

"I wasn't expecting that. Ever since I was a little girl, I hated to wear shoes. It didn't feel natural to have something on my feet. I don't know why. But don't worry. I'm only barefoot in the office. I have a pair of sandals I keep under the desk to walk around the hospital."

Sam smiled. "Well, that's good to know. Now I have to tell you something that I haven't told anybody and it's pretty serious."

"What is it, Sam?"

"James contacted me. He wants to see me."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. He found me on Facebook. He's in a juvenile detention center in Tennessee. I just don't want to go back to all that stuff, you know? I was there when he shot Reverend Barnes. He warned me about him and I went over there anyway and now he's locked up and Rosa I feel like it's my fault, if only I had stayed home and –"

"Stop it, Sam. What happened on that horrible day was not your fault. You didn't force James to pull that trigger."

Sam covered his face with his hands. "I know. But what you don't know is that when James found out I was over there he got scared for me. I was his only friend. He wanted to save me."

"Yes, but didn't you also tell me that James said he would handle Reverend Barnes when you wanted to go to the police? I feel he already had plans to kill him."

"I get what you're saying, yet I feel like if I had just stayed home and endured a beating from my father then James wouldn't have gone over there."

"You don't know that for sure."

Sam was quiet for a moment then he said: "I don't think I'm ready to see him just yet. I'm afraid of what he

might say. I don't know how to face him."

"Right now we are focusing on your well being and I think it would be better if we handle that first and then see how to approach James. How does that sound?"

"That sounds ok. I think about him a lot. I have nightmares about him. In the last one I had, he shot Mercedes and Finn."

Rosa sat her teacup on the glass table in front of them.

"Why do you suppose you dreamed that?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is that I can't lose Mercedes and Finn. I love them too much."

"Everyone fears losing someone they love, that's natural. But for you it's a little different. It has more to do with guilt. We're going to work on letting go of it."

"I don't deserve them."

"Sam, everyone deserves love."

"Not when they've caused pain like I have. A dead husband. A locked up kid. Just everything."

"Sam – "

"Reverend Barnes' wife was pregnant when it happened."

"She was?"

Sam nodded. Then he remembered the awful incident.

XXX

It was about two years after the assault on Christmas Eve. Sam was home for winter break. He usually never came home for the holidays and always opted to stay with some of his friends from boarding school, but his grandparents insisted that he come home that year and since they were paying his tuition, he had to obey them. He took the train from Chattanooga to his small hometown of Bethel Rock. The train station was an old red brick building that was usually deserted because not too many people came to Bethel Rock – it was a town so tiny that if you blinked you would miss it.

While he waited for his mother, he sat on the hard wooden benches and listened to the elderly carolers sing Jingle Bells for the millionth time. They were dressed like elves and pointed red velvet hats sat atop their silver heads. The station was decorated with bright multi-colored lights and sparkling white snowflakes hung from the ceiling. The aroma of coffee and fresh baked cookies wafted through the air. Mr. Claiborne, a round short man who tilted sideways when he walked because of a Vietnam War injury, had been the station manager for over 40 years. He always gave out free treats at Christmas time. Sam nibbled on a sugar cookie and wondered when his mother would

arrive; he knew she would be late because a snowstorm raged outside and this worried him.

As the carolers began to sing Come All Ye Faithful, the heavy double doors creaked open and for a second Sam thought it was his mother, but it was a woman bundled up in a red coat and knitted scarf that covered half of her face, she held the hand of a little girl about 2 years old who wore a puffy pink coat and scuffed white snow boots. They stamped the snow off their feet and just as she unwound her scarf, Sam's eyes locked with the woman's and his heart dropped: it was Reverend Barnes' wife. Why she was there was a mystery to Sam. After the shooting, she left town and nobody thought they would ever see her again, but now she stood there staring at him. The little girl tugged her arm impatiently and shouted: "Mommy! Bathroom now! Gotta pee pee!"

She ignored her daughter and kept staring at Sam and then she walked over to him, dragging the child with her. Sam couldn't breathe, seeing her come toward him brought everything back, her dark eyes never left his, his mouth was dry and the sugar cookie suddenly tasted like saw dust. The carolers droned on in their shrill voices. Reverend Barnes' wife, Peggy was her name, stood over him, her frizzy red hair standing every which way, Sam noticed the gold angel pin on the collar of her coat.

"Constance doesn't have a father," she said, raising her voice above the awful singing.

"What?"

"My daughter Constance doesn't have father!"

"Daddy in heaven," Constance said cheerfully as if her father had just joined the circus.

"I don't – " Sam began.

"You ruined everything! You and your friend, how could you not know? He was better. We got him help and he was better before you two came along."

"I'm sorry," Sam whispered, he was scared and he wanted her to go away, there was something so sinister in her dark eyes. He just needed her to go away.

"Sorry doesn't bring her father back!" Now she was screaming and Constance began to cry.

"Mommy, no yelling!"

She lunged at Sam and he felt her cold, bony hands around his neck, he struggled and fought back, her breath was foul – it wasn't alcohol but something else he couldn't place. He punched the side of her face and then someone yanked her off of him.

"Get the hell off my nephew!" It was Uncle Leroy. He shoved her to the floor. Constance sat crouched in a ball crying and Sam noticed a dark stain spreading across her pastel pink sweatpants: the poor child had peed herself.

By then the carolers had stopped singing and surrounded them, and Mr. Claiborne came limping out of the station office demanding to know what was going on. Sam's heart broke for the little girl and he wanted to hug her, he reached out for her but she pulled away and crawled over to her mother, who was on her knees, muttering and crying to herself, Constance wrapped her arms around her mother but the woman seemed to not notice that she was there.

"Sam, are you alright?" Uncle Leroy said touching his shoulder.

"Just get me out of here," Sam said, hating that everyone's eyes were on them.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm calling the police," Mr. Claiborne said, gazing at Uncle Leroy with disdain.

"You go on and do that. This crazy bitch attacked my nephew." Uncle Leroy responded as he put a protective arm around Sam.

"He's your uncle?" Mr. Claiborne asked Sam, his bushy eyebrows raised in disbelief. Sam knew that Mr. Claiborne was probably wondering how this tall, bald headed black man was his uncle, and it angered him because why did it matter?

"Yes, he's my uncle and she attacked me."

"He's telling the truth," one of the carolers said, "That woman just jumped on that kid."

Mr. Claiborne looked at the disheveled group before him and then said to Peggy:

"Do you need medical attention?"

She didn't answer him. A woman in a plaid vest and skirt helped Peggy and Constance off of the floor and as she led them away, Peggy looked over her shoulder and said to Sam:

"You killed my husband and you killed her father."

"Leave him alone!" Uncle Leroy growled and Peggy winced before being ushered away with her daughter in tow.

Constance stared at Sam, her dark eyes never left his until they were out of sight, tears ran down her chubby cheeks and all Sam wanted to do was hold her.

After they gathered up his things, they walked out into the snowstorm, the blistering cold burned Sam's cheeks. Bethel Rock was covered in a soft white blanket of snow. The town clock chimed off the hour, the bells clanging in a pleasant harmony that was so familiar to Sam. When they were finally on the road, Sam asked Uncle Leroy why he was there since his mother and Aunt Patty haven't spoken in a long time.

"Well Patty wanted to mend fences with her family and decided to come to Tennessee for the holidays. She surprised everyone. She's still not speaking to your grandma. Anyway, your mother had car trouble and we don't know where your father is so I volunteered to come get you."

"Thank you for what you did back there."

"Not a problem. Patty told me some stuff so I have a pretty good idea about what that woman was saying and I want you to know that she was crazy and wrong. You understand that, right?"

"Yeah I do."

It was getting dark and Uncle Leroy cursed under his breath because of the bad road conditions.

"Hey, this ain't a sundown town is it?" He said in a joking manner.

"Huh?" Sam said.

Leroy laughed. "Never mind, Sam. It's really good to see you. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Leroy," Sam said and closed his eyes. He still felt Peggy's hands around his neck and her last words haunted him.

XXX

"Your Uncle Leroy was right. That woman was crazy. I feel sorry for her daughter," Rosa said after Sam finished his story.

"I know but I'm just coming to terms with it. I never really talked about that incident before. It happened and I blocked it out. Part of me believed her."

Rosa placed her hand on his shoulder: "There's no need to believe a delusional woman who can't face the truth about her pedophile husband. She wanted someone to blame and you were an easy target."

"Yeah, I hear you. I still don't get why she was in town that day. My mother heard that she had to be hospitalized after the incident and her daughter went to stay with relatives. I wonder about Constance sometimes; she was just a little girl getting dragged into all that shit."

"Sam, it amazes me how open your heart is. That's one of your greatest qualities. Don't ever lose it."

"Thanks, Rosa. I hate that she saw me hit her mother."

"I understand but that was self defense."

"Hopefully, she doesn't remember any of it," Sam said as he glanced at the clock on her windowsill, "Wow, we've been talking for over 2 hours, why didn't you stop me? Did I mess up your other appointments?"

Rosa stood up and stretched. "No worries, you were my last appointment for today so it's fine. Besides, you needed to talk about all this stuff and I'm glad you did."

Sam stood up as well and hugged her. "Thank you, Rosa. You really are a lifesaver."

"Just doing my job, and you're doing all the hard work by getting through this. I'm proud of your progress."

Sam's heart was warmed by her words. It was nice to hear that someone was actually proud of him. Now he faced the challenge of telling Finn and Mercedes what troubled him.

---

SOMETIMES IT TAKES A FRIEND TO SHOW YOU THE TRUTH

Despite Rosa's encouragement and insight, Sam still hesitated about telling Finn and Mercedes his fears. He avoided them for a few days giving excuses about work and helping his mother around the house. He picked up extra shifts at the deli and the work helped him focus on something else. But he hated being a coward. One day during their afternoon break, Dylan asked him what was wrong.

"Why do you think something is wrong?" Sam asked as he leaned against Dylan's beat-up red Toyota. They were in the parking lot behind the deli.

Dylan lit a cigarette and shrugged. His black hair shined in the sun.

"I don't know man, you're like really zoned out or something. Like today you almost put vinegar in the chicken soup, you never do shit like that. Is it your sister? I thought she was doing better."

Sam was touched that he asked about Stacey, and it surprised him when Dylan bought her a pink stuffed bunny. Even though he refused to give it to her himself saying he "didn't do" hospitals, the gesture still meant a lot to Sam.

"Stacey's condition is still improving. She really loves that bunny she's all happy because now Maggie has a friend."

"Who's Maggie?"

"That's her doll. Stevie says she thinks it's a real person, but I don't think so. Stacey is just imaginative," Sam's eyes began to tear up, thinking about how close they came to losing her, "She's really something special, you know?"

Dylan patted his shoulder and nodded.

"Yeah, I hear you. I'm glad she liked it."

They were silent for a few moments then Sam said:

"It's Finn and Mercedes. I have to tell them something and I'm worried about what their reaction might be. So I've been avoiding them."

Dylan took a drag of his cigarette.

"Look, the way you talk about those two, they sound like they really love you so whatever it is you have to say, I don't think they will lose their shit, unless it's something really bad."

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me what it is I have to tell them."

"I get that it's private. I'm terrible about giving relationship advice anyway, but don't avoid them anymore; you're only hurting them.

Sam sighed. "I know."

"Just do it and get it over with. Besides what if they think you're cheating on them?"

"I would never cheat on them!"

"Dude, I get that, but avoiding them looks really fishy. I guess I see it differently because just before my ex-girlfriend broke up with me for that old guy, she stopped returning my calls and all of sudden she was just too busy to hang out with me."

Sam shook his head. "Finn and Mercedes trust me. They know that I wouldn't do anything to hurt them."

"Then why are you treating them like this?"

"I don't know."

"Hey, remember that picture you showed me of the three of you at Mercedes' house? All of you had your arms wrapped around each other and you're grinning at the camera like you won the lottery?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Did anything special happen that day?"

"No, we were just happy that's all."

"That's my point. Why are you running away from that? If I had someone in my life that made me smile like that on an ordinary day for no reason, the last thing I would do is hide from them."

Sam recalled when Santana took that picture and said they were sickening beyond words, but it was nice to see how they loved each other. Dylan stared at him, his dark eyes pensive. Sam reached over and gave Dylan a hug, catching him off guard. He dropped his cigarette and awkwardly returned the hug.

"Uh, dude, I'm glad you liked what I said, but you should probably give me some type of warning," Dylan mumbled.

Sam pulled away quickly, his face turning red.

"Sorry, man, I got carried away. But thanks for saying what you said. It put things in perspective. I'm going to tell them after work today."

Dylan smiled. "Good to know. I hope everything works out for you. Hey, when is that barbecue again?"

"The week after next," Sam said as he bent down to tie his shoe, "You can still make it can't you?"

"Definitely. So who's going to be there?"

"Some friends from school. Not many people."

"So do I need to bring anything?"

"No, but thanks for asking. We got that covered. Mercedes is looking forward to meeting you."

Dylan lit another cigarette. "She is? Why? I've never had anyone look forward to meeting me; it's usually the opposite."

Sam laughed. "She likes meeting new people that know about our relationship and don't give a shit about it like you do."

"It takes too much effort to be judgmental. At least that's what my sponsor always says."

Sam was confused. "Sponsor? For what?"

"It's my sponsor for Narcotics Anonymous, remember my church basement meetings?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for. Besides I don't talk about it much anyway."

"Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I don't know much about stuff like that, but I can listen," Sam said.

"Thanks, Sam."

"No problem."

Sam gazed up at the sky and smiled. He was finally ready to face Finn and Mercedes.

---

WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER

After he left work, Sam went to Dairy Queen and picked up three M&M Blizzards for himself, Mercedes and Finn. He then called them and asked them to meet him at the Lima Botanical Gardens. They agreed to come without any questions and Sam was glad; it would be hard to explain over the phone. He sat in the gazebo in the azalea garden and began to eat his Blizzard, the sweet vanilla ice cream and M&Ms were delicious.

A gentle breeze was blowing and he closed his eyes and enjoyed the peaceful stillness around him. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Finn and Mercedes walking toward him, with Finn limping a little and leaning into Mercedes for support. Finn whispered something in her ear and she laughed. Sam was pleased to see her wearing a pretty purple halter dress that complimented her figure and fit snugly across her chest, he noticed her weight loss, not that he cared either way, Mercedes was beautiful no matter what. Finn's arm was wrapped around her and he wore a smile a mile wide, to the casual observer they would seem mismatched, but Sam knew better and he knew they were perfect for each other and for him. When they got to the gazebo, the three embraced and Sam held on tight, kissing them both on the lips. The botanical gardens were usually deserted on the weekdays, so Sam wasn't worried about anybody bothering them, and he felt more at ease.

Once they were seated with Mercedes between them, he handed them their Blizzards and Finn eagerly took his.

"Dude, you're awesome. I was craving one of these," Finn said as he dug into the ice cream.

"You're always craving these," Mercedes teased and kissed him on the cheek.

"So I guess you guys are probably wondering why I've been avoiding you these past few days and why I wanted to meet you here today," Sam said as he reached for Mercedes' hand and held it.

"It crossed our minds," Finn responded.

"Please tell us what's wrong. We're really worried about you. If you don't' want to go to Kentucky anymore, that's fine, but don't shut us out," Mercedes said.

"I'm sorry that I worried you. I still want to go to Kentucky," Sam said, he then paused and continued, "You know I love you both more than anything. When we talked about me and Finn taking things further, I was all for it, but now I'm scared I might have flashbacks of the rape, that doesn't mean I don't want to have sex with Finn it's just that we're gonna have to go really slow and if I end up panicking and having flashbacks we'll have to stop." He looked at them anxiously.

Finn got up and hugged Sam.

"Babe, of course we can take things slow. I would never want you to be scared or have bad memories come back. I love you. Nothing has to happen in Kentucky or any other time after that, when it happens, it happens and it will be right for all of us. We've been reading up on this and we found out that sometimes things like sounds and smells can make you re-live the attack all over again. Do you have anything you want us to avoid?

Sam was speechless. Here he was thinking they might be angry with him and Finn just revealed they had been doing research about his problem. He kissed Finn tenderly then he kissed Mercedes.

"You two have no idea how much that means to me, you're just amazing and I love you both." Sam said, his voice getting caught in his throat.

"We said we're in this together and we meant it," Mercedes said, "Don't ever be afraid to tell us anything."

"You know, I'm still not used to having somebody support me like this."

"Baby, you better get used to it," Mercedes said and kissed him.

"Oh, I most definitely will," Sam said then added, "Rosa wants me to make a list of all the things that make me comfortable and what doesn't; I'll let you guys see it when I am done."

"That's a good idea," Mercedes said.

"Yeah, I think so too," Finn said as he sat back down and dug into his Blizzard again, "Do you feel better now, Sam?"

Sam smiled. "I feel much better and I'm really looking forward to our trip."

"Kurt said the house was gorgeous. And there's a lake for swimming," Mercedes said.

Finn raised his eyebrows. "We should go skinny dipping."

"As much as I love Kurt and Blaine, I don't think I want to see them in the buff," Mercedes said.

"Not with them - just the three of us. We could do it at night or something. Both of you are fucking beautiful; I think it would be sexy as hell," Finn said around a bite of ice cream.

"I'm all for it," Sam said as he kissed Mercedes' cheek, "And you're pretty hot yourself, Finn. This is one of your fantasies isn't it?"

Finn blushed and mumbled, "Ok, so maybe it is. That's not such a bad thing is it?"

"Of course it isn't and speaking of fantasies, when are we going to act out yours, Cedes?" Sam said with a mischievous grin, "You told us all about it, remember?"

"Yes, I remember, but I'm surprised that you do. We talked about that months ago."

"We could never forget something like that," Sam said.

Finn leaned into her and kissed her neck "I know I remember every detail. That was one hot fantasy."

"I can't believe I told you two about it," Mercedes said, looking down at her hands, "I'm kind of embarrassed."

Sam lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes, "Hey, we're going to be together forever, so don't ever be embarrassed about anything you tell us. I love that we know that part of you. It's good to know that Finn isn't the only kinky one."

Mercedes laughed. "Gee, thanks a lot Sam!"

"I like being kinky," Finn said as he licked his spoon.

"We know," Sam and Mercedes said in unison and the three of them burst out laughing and Sam didn't know when he ever felt so free and so loved. Then he got an idea.

"Let's do it now."

"What? Are you serious?" Mercedes was a little flustered, but her tone was excited.

"Sure, why not? You know you want to," he said lowering his voice, "I can tell by that look in your eyes."

Sam watched her face and marveled at the slight flush in her cheeks and how her breathing became shallow. Without another word, he kissed her, plunging his tongue into her mouth, savoring the taste of vanilla ice cream and chocolate candy, her lips were cold but soon turned warm as his kiss became more forceful. She moaned into his mouth and he knew she wanted this as much as they did. Finn was licking and kissing her neck. Suddenly she pulled away from them, her eyes heavy lidded and lustful. She gasped for breath.

"So?" Sam asked.

"I want to," she whispered.

Sam's heart raced and he and Finn gazed at each other for a moment. That was all the encouragement they needed to give her what she wanted, and boy was Sam ready to give it to her.

---

TELL ME YOUR FANTASY

Mercedes never felt so bold in her life, here she was about to do something she only dreamed about, something so sexually decadent that the mere thought of it made her wet. She questioned her sanity, but she figured it had gone out the window when she said yes, so she decided to enjoy herself.

Sam and Finn untied the straps of her halter dress and pulled them down, revealing her purple lace covered breasts; her nipples were hard and poked through the flimsy material.

"Anybody can come along at any moment and catch us fucking you and that's what turns you on doesn't it?" Sam said, taunting her as they squeezed her large mounds still confined in her bra that was too small for her ample bosom, the tops of her breasts overflowed in the lacy cups. Then he whispered in her ear, "You like us playing with your tits, don't you?"

Mercedes could only nod. It was too much effort to speak. They gently pinched her nipples and she cried out, biting her bottom lip and moaning. Her panties were soaked. She needed to feel their hands on her bare skin.

"I want more," she whispered.

Together they slowly unfastened the hooks of her bra, and with each hook, more flesh was revealed and they placed soft, wet kisses on her exposed skin. Mercedes gripped the bench and pressed her thighs together. It was difficult to breathe.

"What's wrong, Cedes? Is this too much for you? Do you want us to tear off those pretty panties and pound that tight little pussy of yours - is that it? You know we can smell you, baby, you're probably so wet right now, am I right?" Sam asked as he undid the final hook of her bra and captured as much of her breast into his greedy mouth as he could. His long blonde hair tickled her skin as he sucked her huge breast; Finn latched his mouth onto the other one, and then he stopped and said:

"Why don't I check to see if that's what Mercy wants?"

He reached under her dress and parted her legs. As soon as he moved the damp, fabric aside and his large fingers probed her pussy, Mercedes' body jerked in response, a jolt of pleasure surged through her, and she let out a small cry. Much to her disappointment, he didn't pump his fingers like she wanted him to. Instead he quickly removed his hand, and held it in front of Sam's mouth and he eagerly sucked Mercedes' juices from Finn's fingers.

"Baby, your pussy always tastes so good," Sam said and kissed Mercedes as he continued to knead her breast. She loved how she tasted on his lips.

Then he pulled Finn toward him, claiming his mouth with his own. Mercedes tugged on her nipples, as she watched their intense make out session. Sam dominated the kiss, pushing his tongue far into Finn's mouth with Finn moaning in response. Suddenly they broke apart and Sam took off his t-shirt, revealing his beautifully sculpted chest and abs, and Finn did the same, licking his lips as he gazed at Sam, they shared another kiss with their bare chests pressed together, their muscular arms wrapped around one another.

They separated once again to kiss Mercedes' neck, sucking and licking her sensitive flesh; Finn nipped her skin between his teeth, leaving tiny bite marks near her throat. They took turns kissing her, with Finn gently exploring her mouth with his tongue, while Sam was more aggressive; each boy was different but no less satisfying for Mercedes and those kisses left her breathless. Finally they attached their mouths again to her breasts, and she stroked their heads, relishing the feel of their tongues and lips on her skin.

"Remember what you said?" Sam asked as his hand crept between her thighs, his fingers gliding across her wet slit.

"Sam, shit, oh…"

"Maybe we should help her remember, what do you think, Finn?" Sam asked.

Finn was busy sucking and squeezing her tits, but he stopped for a moment to respond:

"Oh, I think we can refresh her memory."

Together they hiked up her dress and pulled off her damp panties, dragging them slowly down her thick legs. They parted her thighs and stared at her pussy.

"Look at her muscles clenching," Sam remarked as he lightly touched her inner labia, "You're so hot right now, baby, I want you to tell us what you said, can you do that?"

His feather light touches were killing her. Damn, those boys had her in a heat that she never experienced before; she couldn't think or see straight.

"Tell us where the man is, Mercy," Finn whispered in her ear.

"Yeah, where is he?" Sam asked, "Is he over there in that azalea bush, is he waiting for us to fuck you?"

"Yes," Mercedes said, her voice shaking, "He's in the bushes and he wants to look at my pussy before you fuck me!"

"I knew she would remember," Sam said as he and Finn spread her legs even further apart, "Well, he's got a good view of it now," he mused before pressing a kiss to her pussy.

The moment his full lips touched her pulsating core, Mercedes almost came undone but not quite. She whimpered softly.

"Holding out on us, are you?" Sam said, "Do you want us to show him your lovely ass? He's seen your pussy and tits, let him see your ass, would you like that?"

"How, how did you know?" She gasped.

"We remember every detail," Finn said and kissed her.

"Do you think he will like my ass?" Mercedes asked.

Sam kissed her inner thigh. "Cedes, why wouldn't he like it? He loved everything else. If anyone ever finds any part of you less than beautiful, they're not worth the crap on the bottom of your shoe. Now stand up and bend over so we can show him this big, gorgeous ass."

Mercedes stood on wobbly legs as they gently bent her over the bench, bunching up the dress around her wide waist, revealing her bare, stretch marked ass.

"He wants us to spank your ass, doesn't he?" Finn asked, his voice thick with lust.

She nodded and clutched the wooden railing, her breasts swung freely, her ass and pussy were exposed, and her heart pounded. Her nipples were hard and erect, begging to be sucked again. Never in her life did she feel such pleasure; it was everywhere, every part of her body tingled. What if someone came along the azalea path? What if there was someone in the bushes getting off on seeing her like this – laid out, ready to be fucked? A thrill rushed through her.

"How hard does he want it spanked?" Sam asked as he ran his hand across one of her cheeks.

Mercedes looked over her shoulder and responded:

"As hard as I can stand it."

Without another word, they began smacking her ass with all their strength, Mercedes screamed because the pain was so fucking good she couldn't stand it. Finn was on her right, and Sam on her left, each slap sent shivers through her body, her ass jiggled and bounced and the harder they smacked her cheeks, the more she wanted, more, more…

"Fuck, fuck, oh shit, fuck!" She cried out as the spanking continued she held onto the railing for dear life and her knees ached as she knelt on the bench but it was all worth it. She loved the loud slap of their big hands as they spanked her generous derriere.

When they were finished, Mercedes' ass was on fire, tears streamed down her face and then she felt them licking and kissing her ass cheeks, even blowing on her hot skin to cool her down.

"Oh, so good," she whispered.

"Your ass is so red right now. You liked that spanking didn't you? But our show isn't over is it?" Sam said.

She shook her head, gasping for breath. She looked over her shoulder and saw Finn shove his index finger into her pussy; he pumped it a few times. Her thighs quivered - each stroke had her moaning. She was reaching the brink. He looked at her and said:

"What else does he want?"

"I said it already," she retorted with a bit of sass.

"We want to hear you say it again," Sam said and pinched one of her nipples, twisting it between his fingers, "Go, on, say it!"

"He wants you to fuck me!" she shouted, her voice echoing throughout the garden. Sam and Finn quickly shed the rest of their clothes, their big cocks hard and ready for her. Mercedes couldn't wait to get them inside her.

Suddenly, she heard a woman's voice:

"Agnes, did you hear that? Such language!"

"Well, Mabel, what do you expect from today's generation?"

Then she heard footsteps. Mercedes froze. This cannot be happening.

"Where is that lovely gazebo?"

"I think it's over this way."

The three of them scrambled to get dressed, but there wasn't time, the two women were approaching. Mercedes tried to fix her dress, but Sam and Finn grabbed her hands and together they ran and hid behind the pink azalea bushes, forgetting about their clothes. Thankfully, Mercedes was not completely nude, they never took off her dress only bunched it up around her waist, but her underwear was still in the gazebo. Finn and Sam weren't so lucky. They were naked as jaybirds. Sam's hair looked wild, his ponytail had come undone, and his green eyes were wide and anxious. The only thing he wore was the angel necklace. He held a finger to his lips, gesturing for them to keep as quiet as possible. Finn crouched low and put his arm around Mercedes, rubbing her back in a reassuring manner though he was shaking himself. Mercedes kissed his cheek to calm him down. Then she squeezed Sam's hand. They heard the two women step inside the gazebo; the wooden floor planks creaked.

"My, word, Agnes, look at this! Somebody left their clothes and – oh dear, are those panties?"

Mabel clucked her tongue. "I tell you these kids are just animals, well in my day, we were all respectable ladies."

"I blame the 70s," Agnes said, "Well I don't want to stay here. It's not what I remembered anyway, besides, I smell something strange."

"Me too and if I had to guess I would say it was – "

"Don't say it! I know what you're thinking. Besides the evidence is here, let's go. I hear they fixed the fountain we can throw in some pennies."

"Yes, make a wish for this poor girl," Mabel said.

The three of them waited for a few moments until they were certain the women were gone before they emerged from behind the bushes. Then they burst out laughing, as relief washed over them. Finn and Sam quickly dressed. Mercedes didn't bother to put her underwear back on. Her boyfriends looked at her curiously as they tied her dress straps. She handed the bra to Sam and the panties to Finn.

"You guys should have a souvenir from today," Mercedes said as she kissed each of them on the cheek.

"But it got ruined," Sam responded.

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me, and besides you encouraged me to live on the edge, how could that be a bad thing?"

"I hate to be the pessimist, but I really wanted to keep going for obvious reasons," Finn said.

"Me too," Sam said.

"I see your point. Do you guys have time to come to my place?"

"We'll make time. Come on Finn, let's get our girl out of here," Sam said as he grabbed Mercedes' hand.

They rushed out of the garden, and Mercedes loved how her braless breasts bounced and how free she felt without the confines of underwear. The boys must have noticed because every now and then their hands would squeeze her ample bosom or caress one of her ass cheeks.

"You should do this no underwear thing more often," Sam commented when they reached the parking lot.

"I agree. You're like smoking hot right now, Mercy," Finn said, and reached inside the front of her dress and tweaked her hard nipple. She moaned at the quick contact and then said:

"I couldn't do this all the time because we would definitely get arrested."

They laughed as they ushered her into Finn's car; Sam was parked a few feet away. The sky suddenly turned gray, threatening to rain and the air was cool. As Finn drove back to her house, Mercedes reminded him to obey the speed limit. He chuckled nervously and kept his eyes on the road. It started raining hard. Mercedes turned on the radio, and soon she was singing along to an old Janet Jackson song:

In the thundering rain

You stare into my eyes

I can feel your hand moving up my thighs

Skirt around my waist

Wall against my face

I can feel your lips

At a red light, Finn's hand moved up her thigh, pulling the dress up to her waist exposing her smooth bare skin. Mercedes moaned and glanced over at the car across from them, a young man with brown hair and an earring gave her a curious look and Mercedes only smiled and leaned back in her seat.

I don't wanna stop just because

People walkin'by watchin'us

I don't give a damn what they think

His hand dipped between the juncture of her thighs as he pulled into her driveway with Sam behind them.

I want you now

I don't wanna stop just because

You feel so good inside of my love

I'm not gonna stop no no no

I want you all I wanna say is

Anytime, anyplace I don't care who's around

Anytime, and any place I don't care who's around

"You like that Mercy?" Finn whispered.

Mercedes bucked against his hand as his fingers found their way into her pussy and began pumping slowly. Sam peered into the car window and Finn unlocked the door. Sam snatched it open and captured her mouth in a kiss as he shoved his hand beneath the front of her dress and roughly palmed her exposed breast. Finn continued to pump his fingers. A few moments later, Mercedes came, gripping the seat, mumbling incoherently. Sam pulled her from the car into the pouring rain, picked her up and carried her to the front door with Finn trailing behind them. Finn pushed passed them and unlocked the front door, and they stumbled inside. Sam set Mercedes down and then without any warning, he and Finn tore off her dress, ripping the damp fabric. She was too far-gone to even care. The boys undressed and stood there naked and panting as they gazed at her; they each had a raging hard-on. They turned her around so that she faced the wall. Their hands glided up and down her back and then they grabbed her ass and squeezed it hard.

"Push your ass out, lean forward, and spread your legs" Sam said.

Mercedes did as he instructed, her palms pressed against the wall.

"Spread them wider, don't think you can hide that sweet pussy from us," Finn said.

Mercedes spread her legs wider. She was wet. Without another word, Sam grabbed her ample hips and slammed into her from behind, thrusting, pounding, Mercedes cried out, her mouth hung open, Finn was beside her stroking his cock.

"You like how I'm fucking you into the wall, don't you?" Sam said, his voice low, "You should see how your big, pretty ass is shaking."

Mercedes closed her eyes and moaned. She was about to come, her cries grew louder and more high pitched when suddenly Sam shouted:

"Now!"

He pulled out and they spun her around; Finn wrapped her thick legs around his waist, and rammed into her from the front - these were not gentle, teasing strokes. He used all his strength as he pounded into her, hitting her G-spot. He frantically worked his hips, his face bright red. The thrusts were painful, but it was the good kind of pain. She was soon coming, with Finn following suit, moaning in her ear, filling her with his warm cum, then he disappeared and Sam was there, finishing the home stretch, and coming inside her pussy as well, her legs were weak and he held her up. He kissed Finn as her body shook from the orgasm, and seeing them in a passionate lip lock, made her come even harder. Finally, he pulled out of her and the three of them kissed, both boys wrapped their arms around her, making sure she didn't fall to the floor.

Finn carried her upstairs to her bedroom, where he dropped her onto the king sized bed, causing her body to jiggle and sway. In the past, this would've embarrassed her but now, she could careless. Sam stared down at her.

"We're taking that ass and pussy at the same time," he said. His long blonde hair hung loosely at his shoulders and his green eyes were glazed over with lust.

Mercedes almost came again at those words. She had never felt sexier. Sam hopped onto the bed and laid back, his beautiful, hard cock was ready for her.

"Ride me," he ordered.

Mercedes lowered herself onto his cock, groaning as it slid into her wet heat, and Finn was behind her, easing his fingers into her asshole, getting her ready for entry. Then he inched his huge cock in slowly and Mercedes was stuffed to the brim. They began to move, her hips gyrated between them, swaying to and fro, Sam grabbed hold of her big, bouncing tits, and sucked her nipples, biting down on them as hard as she could stand. Finn pummeled her from behind, showing no restraint, she felt his chest pressed against her back. His hands gripped her hips as he thrust into her. Mercedes was loosing control – she could barely speak.

"We don't want you walking straight once we're done," Sam said as he tried to drive himself deeper inside her.

"Too bad the man in the bushes is missing out," Finn huffed from behind her, "Damn, your ass feels good, Mercy." He then smacked it hard.

Mercedes cried out and bit her lip. She responded in a raspy voice:

"Don't you know he followed us home? And he's staring through my bedroom window?"

Sam grinned and played along.

"Can't say I blame him. We have the most gorgeous, sexy, beautiful girl in the world between us, and we're fucking her senseless."

Mercedes' movements became erratic, Sam's face glistened with sweat and Finn panted behind her. They were all so close.

"Everybody hold hands. I want us to feel this together. I love you both so much," Sam gasped reaching for their hands. The three held hands just as a massive orgasm surged through them, they screamed so loud that it almost hurt Mercedes' ears, but she that was a minor discomfort compared to the awesome pleasure she felt coursing through her body.

She fell on top of Sam who embraced her, whispering how much he loved her and Finn, who was beside them, hugging them close and kissing their sweaty faces. Mercedes felt the aftershocks of the explosive orgasm, and Sam and Finn gently stroked her back, calming her down. Finally, they tucked her between them, kissing her and telling just how beautiful she was.

"You don't know how gorgeous you are, especially when you come and you're screaming and shaking, not holding anything back," Sam said and then kissed her.

"Do you now see what we see?" Finn asked he as he stroked her cheek, his hazel eyes searched hers for answers.

Mercedes nodded. "I see it now. The reason why I had that fantasy is because I became this girl who wasn't ashamed of her body; I was bold and daring. And I got off on a random stranger thinking that I'm this sexy goddess with the body I possess. That was the heart of it. And you both made it a reality. I'm lying here and it feels like I'm dreaming."

"You're not dreaming, sweetheart," Finn murmured before planting a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth, then he said, "You should see how your eyes are shining."

"He's right," Sam said, "Your eyes are so bright right now," he kissed her forehead and said, "I'm happy that we satisfied you. That was like the hottest thing ever, but were we ever too rough? I know I got carried away."

"No, not at all. That was part of the fantasy and I loved it."

Finn pulled her toward him and kissed her.

"I was worried a few times. I'm a big guy and I'm usually really careful with you because I never want to hurt you," Finn said.

Mercedes snuggled against him and replied:

"Baby, everything was wonderful. Neither one of you has ever hurt me. I told you my fantasy and you both delivered it. I couldn't be happier."

Sam kissed her shoulder. "I was really surprised about the roughness of your fantasy when you first told us."

"It surprised me too, but I guess it's just another part of me." Mercedes said.

"I'm glad we know that part of you," Finn said.

Mercedes gave them each a kiss and told them she loved them. They returned her kisses eagerly and declared their love for her as they wrapped their arms around her. The only sound was the rain beating against her bedroom window as they all fell asleep.

---

FIRST STEP FOR SAM AND FINN

Finn woke up first. He gazed at his boyfriend and girlfriend still fast asleep and he smiled to himself. They were beautiful. Sam held Mercedes in a tight embrace, his long blond hair spread across the pillow. Mercedes lay on her side facing Finn, her pretty face looked so peaceful. He kissed them on their foreheads and quietly slipped out of bed. He went to the bathroom for a drink of water, and when he came back, he found Sam moving about on the bed moaning, his face flushed, and his breathing labored. Finn never saw anything hotter in his life – he figured it must have been one intense dream. On impulse, he walked over to Sam, leaned down and kissed his full lips. Sam wrapped his arms around Finn's neck and pulled him down until he was on top of Sam. His eyes flew open.

"Babe, how did you get here?"

"You were dreaming and well… I kissed you."

Sam pressed his forehead against Finn's.

"Yeah, it was intense."

"What was it about?"

"I don't remember," Sam said and averted his eyes.

"So you're playing those games, huh?"

"No games. I really don't remember," Sam said smiling up at him.

They began kissing again and Finn felt Sam's hard cock through the thin white sheet. He loved lying on top of Sam like this. He rubbed his cock against Sam's and was pleased to hear him moan at the sensation. Mercedes shifted next to them and opened her eyes. Finn broke the kiss and looked at her.

"Sorry that we woke you," Finn said, leaning over and kissing her.

Sam moved beneath him and tried to sit up.

"Actually, I'm glad she's awake," he said, "I want to tell you two something."

Finn moved so that he was lying next to Sam rather than on top of him and said:

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, of course not."

"What did you have to tell us?" Mercedes asked as she stretched her arms.

"Remember what we talked about earlier and that list I'm supposed to give you?"

"Yes, what about it?" Finn asked.

"One of the things I need for both of you to do is to keep telling me that you love me. It always puts me at ease and I can never hear it enough."

Finn hugged Sam.

"Well, I can never say it enough. I love you."

"I love you too," Mercedes chimed in as she kissed him, "Anything that helps you we will do."

Sam put his arms around them and smiled, "Thank you," he said and then he turned to Finn, "You never told us what types of things you fantasized about doing to me."

Finn felt his face grow hot and his cock hardened; he took a deep breath and responded:

"I dream about taking you in my mouth and swallowing your cum, being buried inside you or vice versa, stuff like that."

"Ok, I want to try something now."

"You do?"

"Yes, I want to feel your mouth on me."

They stared at each other for a moment.

Finn held Sam close and said, "Ok, but tell me if you want me to stop or if you feel uncomfortable. I love you."

"I love you too," Sam said and then turned to Mercedes, "Hold me, will you Cedes? I want you feeling this with me."

Mercedes wrapped her arm around his waist and lay her head on his shoulder. Finn kissed Sam and Mercedes, savoring the feel of their plump lips on his. He loved that both of them had such wonderful, full lips – it made kissing them all the more sweeter. He moved his way down and kissed Sam's chest, then gently tweaking his hard nipples, before flicking his tongue across them. Sam gasped then moaned and Mercedes kissed his cheek and whispered that they loved him in his ear. Finn caressed his magnificent abs, planting soft kisses to his hard, muscled torso, and finally he pulled away the sheet covering the bottom portion of Sam's beautiful body, revealing his hard cock.

Finn could never get over just how perfect Sam was; he and Mercedes were so oblivious to their beauty. He took his hot shaft into his hands and stroked it a few times, causing Sam to cry out in pleasure. Finn then kissed the tip of his cock, and licked the pre-cum, before taking his entire length into his eager mouth. He wasn't sure what he was doing, so he followed his instincts, bobbing his head up and down, sucking Sam's cock. By the sounds Sam was making, Finn figured he was doing it right. He heard Mercedes say:

"Baby, is he loving you good?"

Sam groaned in response, and Finn kept up the pace, he was so proud that he could make Sam feel that good. He worked earnestly and then Sam yelled out as he came, his cum filling Finn's mouth; he swallowed it all, except for the bit that ran down the sides of his mouth. Sam was panting. Mercedes hugged him and kissed the side of his face. Finn reluctantly released his cock; he enjoyed having it in his mouth more than he anticipated. He leaned over and kissed Sam, his tongue entered his mouth slowly, and the kiss was long, sweet and passionate. He then kissed Mercedes who still held onto Sam, and Finn knew in that moment these were the people he would love forever. It was quiet for a while and the three of them just listened to the rain. Finally, Finn said:

"Babe, was everything ok?"

Sam smiled and hugged him. "It was amazing. Both of you made me feel so loved."

"Good," Finn said, "We're always going to take things slow, I promise."

"What time is it?" Mercedes asked.

"I don't know, but we should probably shower and get going," Finn said.

Mercedes face fell.

"I was hoping you two could stay. I miss waking up with you."

"Sweetheart, you know we can't. Our parents are expecting us home; Finn said as he leaned over and stroked her cheek, "I wish we could stay. I miss you guys so much it kills me sometimes."

Mercedes sighed and a tear ran down her cheek.

"I know. I just get lonely sometimes."

Finn and Sam held her close, gently rubbing her back. There were some things that couldn't be helped and this was one of them. Finn wished he could just stay with her until her parents returned, but there was no way his mother and Burt would allow it, it was a big stretch for them to let him go to Kentucky for a three-day weekend.

"We understand," Sam murmured.

"Come on, let's shower," Finn said.

They took a long shower, standing under the spray until the water ran cold. Mercedes clung to them and her sad eyes worried Finn. As they dried her off and rubbed lotion on her body, her eyes grew heavy, and she almost nodded off.

Sam lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom, and together he and Finn tucked her in, staying with her until she was asleep. Then they quietly dressed and went downstairs. Outside the rain was finally letting up.

"Do you think she will be ok?" Finn asked, "I'm worried about her, something is wrong."

"I'm worried too. But I think she'll be alright. Let's call her later on tonight."

"You know what's strange? Why don't her parents have anybody checking on her? I don't get it."

"She has us. She doesn't need anybody else," Sam said, then added, "You know, her period might be starting soon which might explain her crying like that. I remember Quinn was like a leaky faucet that time of the month."

Finn laughed. "I don't know, Sam, I think it's more than that."

They opened the front door and Finn made sure he locked it as they closed it behind them. Before Sam could walk down the steps toward his car, Finn reached for him and kissed him, wrapping his arms around him.

When they broke apart, Sam said, "Wow, what was that for?"

Finn shrugged and gazed into Sam's green eyes, "I don't know I just felt like kissing you."

"You've never done it like that before."

"I know but things are different now."

"They are?"

"Yes, after what happened today, I feel like you trust me more or something, I don't know," Finn looked away from him, feeling foolish.

"I've always trusted you. It's just that my issues get in the way."

"I get that, but sometimes, I felt this wall."

Sam reached for Finn's hand and held it.

"No more walls. It's just gonna be the three of us loving each other. I won't shut you out anymore."

Finn looked down at their clasped hands - Could it be that simple?

"It really hurt when you were avoiding us. I honestly thought you were re-thinking this entire relationship. I got scared. Don't ever do that again, Sam. You don't know how much you mean to me and Mercy."

Sam gathered him in his arms, "I'm so sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

"I'm holding you to that," Finn whispered.

---

END NOTES: Thanks for reading!