Sorry for the very long wait... I've been having problems with my computer... so the Evil Sheena chapter, which was supposed to be instead of this one, wil have to wait until I can get it back. Same goes for GLU, for those who are reading it.

By the way I'd like to call out to those artists out there. You like this fic? Draw fanart of the pairing. Honestly I'm not a rabid fan of the pairing, I just write them because it's interesting, but it's inexistant. DA is drowned under Zelos and Lloyd, we could do with ten pics of Zelos and Genis. Ok, rant done. Sorry ;

So... Disclaimer... I don't own Tales of Symphonia nor its characters.

ANd this is a shonen ai pairing, with a badass age difference. Though this particular chapter doesn't show it even if you squint a lot XD It's a very general chapter. But it was necessary. And it gave me the occasion to use the Genis POV again. I'm loosing the habit of doing it.

So, now this overlong AN is done...

On with the fic

Growing up

Guilt was a feeling Genis was getting used to these days. First the guilt of the attack on Iselia, Marble's death and Lloyd's banishment. Then not having noticed something was wrong with Colette until it was too late. And now…

He dismissed Lloyd's 'are you alright?' with a smart -if not sharp- answer and a laugh and walked away, his stomach in a tight knot.

… he was cutting himself from Lloyd, pushing him away, when he had been the one to promise he'd stick by him always. The thought made him sick at himself, but there wasn't anything he could do about it, save try to act as if nothing had changed. And it had worked for some time… but now Lloyd had started to notice that Genis was sad, yet hadn't come to him to talk about it as he would always have done earlier.

It's not your fault Lloyd… He felt guilty at not having told Lloyd about his race earlier. Not really a good friend, am I? I can't even trust the one I call my best friend. Lloyd had said he understood, but that still didn't change what Genis thought and felt. Nor his feeling that with the addition of new members to the group, their exclusive friendship wasn't real anymore.

He couldn't blame it on Lloyd. He still treated Genis as warmly as ever. But to Genis it still wasn't the same. Maybe I'm just growing up…

The thought made him chuckle. Back in Iselia, this had been his dream. The world of older teenagers like Lloyd had been El Dorado, adulthood heaven. Now he bitterly reflected that he had matured, the hard sides of adulthood being forced upon him by the events while the independence he had dreamt of was still denied to him. And now I want to go back to how I was before… He chuckled. And that in itself is proof that I'm getting old before time.

Ironically, he was back in the situation he had been in years ago, when he didn't socialise for fear of his race being uncovered, and Lloyd hadn't befriended him yet. It hurts more now that I've tasted it, though… He Sighed. Genis was a friendly person, even if his trust was long to gain. He had a warm heart, and affection to share, and being unable to share it hurt. But Genis wasn't Lloyd. He was more of a fatalist, and he accepted the pain. Time flows and people change. And this journey isn't even over yet.

His brooding was cut off abruptly as a pair of hands came to cover his eyes.

"Whaa…?"

"What's up, Genius boy? You were so caught up in your thoughts I didn't even have to be silent."

"Sheena?"

"Good guess!" She let go of his eyes and sat next to him, in a more relaxed way than him, which made him smile. So much for Mizuhan strictness.

"So what's on your mind?" insisted Sheena, looking at him with curious eyes. "You've been distant lately."

How much can I tell her? Sheena shared with Lloyd the ability to be incredibly dense one second and disturbingly perceptive the next. Though in her favour, she leaned more towards the second one when she was emotionally stable. He had to give her enough of an answer so she wouldn't push, and an incomplete one so she wouldn't guess all the rest.

"I… I just can't get myself to be as optimistic as Lloyd."

Sheena laughed.

"Well to tell you the truth, neither can I. But being optimistic or pessimistic won't change the outcome. If things have to be done, then I think I might as well go with hope rather than expect to lose." She winked to Genis. "Of course it does rob one of the satisfaction of saying 'I told you so'. "

It was Genis's turn to laugh, and Sheena beamed. She felt bad when the young half-elf was sad.

"You might not like it, but you sounded a lot like Lloyd just now", he joked.

Sheena frowned half-heartedly and whacked the back of his head, which made him laugh even harder.

"Humph, and there I thought you would grow out of that teasing habit of yours…"

"Old habits die hard, honey", smirked Zelos as he circled her neck with his arms from behind.

Genis watched as Zelos pulverized the world record of the furthest distance for a wingless flying Chosen, and Sheena sighed.

"I'd better go check on him, Raine probably won't be happy if one of our fighters is out of order…" She stood, then looked back to Genis. "Glad to see you're smiling again. Everyone's gloomy when you're sad. Lloyd might be the driving force of this group and Raine it's brain, but you are its heart."

And she turned heals, heading towards the whimpering heap usually known as Zelos Wilder.

Genis shaked his head and smiled as he watched the bickering Sheena and Zelos. Seems Lloyd's not the only one to have opened up and made new friends. He stood up, stretched, and headed off in the forest for his daily training, a small smile on his lips.

Maybe growing up isn't that bad after all.

Thanks for reading and please review