I blinked, something had to be wrong. I was in the dark, but I could see everything. I blinked again and looked to the fuzzy blob. Oh. I blinked again in surprise. I had never seen a female version of Cordy's 'salty goodness' but I think I just did. Easily the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, there's no way anybody that beautiful could be human. Her eyes were a bright gold that matched Carlisle's and her face was smooth and flawless. Just looking at her made my heart hurt. The popular girls at Sunnydale were beautiful but I knew that if I wasted as much money as they did on superficial things I could be one of them. But I could never be anywhere near as gorgeous as this girl. My eyes prickled and the back of my throat burned but no tears came. I took a deep gulp of air and gasped, "Oh!" I shot up to a sitting position and my hands flew to my throat. The burn was back with a vengeance, overshadowing the smells and tastes that came in the air. I spotted a slight movement to my right. "Please don't, I don't think I can take anymore. My head is a bit busy at the moment," one hand flew out and made a slight gesture. My eyes focused on my hand, it was paler than usual. I became still and stared at my outstretched hand. I could see the light from the hallway reflecting off of it and the tiny dust particles moving around. I moved it slightly and watched the little flecks spin in the small gust of air I created. I breathed in slowly, amazed at the power of my senses. My throat throbbed and burned with a need. I knew what I needed but I didn't want to talk. Wow, that was new. I babbled even when I wanted to be quiet, but for once I was actually being quiet and to the point. Well, not in my head but at least my mouth was staying shut.

I looked only slightly to my right and saw the girl looking at me. I tried my best to smile through the pain of needing blood. "Can I go feed now? Do we have pig or cow's blood," I tried to ignore the way my voice trembled. Her eyes widened and she looked behind her to the small group in the doorway. Carlisle, Edward, and Esme were standing still. Carlisle's eyes were locked onto Edward and Edward's head was tilted in my direction. I raised my free hand, "Uh, Carlisle? Did you miss the punching thing from earlier? I like my mind to be Edward free." A loud guffaw came from downstairs and the blonde girl by my side smirked. Edward scowled and turned to Carlisle, "If I'm not needed…." The elder vampire absent-mindedly nodded and Edward spun around and left. Esme stepped forward, "Willow, we don't drink from cows or pigs. We hunt in the woods, remember?" I nodded slowly and turned, letting my legs dangle over the side of the bed. "Rosalie and I will take you out to feed. Is that okay," Esme's tone was light and caring. I nodded again and stood up, keeping one hand at the base of my throat. Carlisle took Esme aside and I could hear them walking down the hall. They spoke low and I could only catch brief flashes of words. After I heard 'rape', I tuned them out and turned to the blonde. "You're Rosalie, right? I'm Willow," I held out my right hand to introduce myself. She smiled and patted my hand, "I like staying in one piece and we need to teach you how to be mindful of your strength." I ducked my head, a thick curtain of hair covering my face.

I brushed back my hair but I quickly ground to a halt. "Rosalie, did my hair grow," I ran my hand through my hair. She nodded and gestured to her long blonde hair, "Yes, it's even longer than mine." Esme came back into the room alone and smiled at us, "Are we ready to go?" I shook my head, "I need shoes and something to hold my hair back." Esme took my hand that was at my throat and led me out of the dark room we were in. The lit hallway was not too bright but I could still take in every detail all the way down to the pattern in the wood floor. My skin looked even paler against the warm yellow of the paint on the walls. We entered a room two doors down and Esme turned on the light. The room was blinding white with dark brown hardwood floors. It was huge, almost twice the size of my old bedroom in Sunnydale. There was a huge canopy bed with a wooden frame, an armoire, dresser, vanity table, bookcase and desk. All of the furniture matched the dark brown of the floor. I couldn't help but gape as Rosalie opened a small door that fit seamlessly into the wall and another one that was slightly larger. Esme rubbed my back gently, "The smaller door is your closet and the other one is your private bathroom." I nodded and went to the closet. I pulled out a pair of Doc Martin boots that laced up my calves and put them on before grabbing a hair tie off of the vanity table. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and took in my reflection. I looked like me but there were noticeable changes. My eyes were slightly larger and my lips were fuller, my hair was still the same shade and I still had a widow's peak but it was waist length, and my skin was paler than when I was human. My freckles were still there but they paled along with my skin, they were close to my old skin tone now. I placed my hand at my throat and took in the bright crimson of my eyes before something else caught my attention. "Are my breasts bigger," I squeaked out loudly before realizing that everyone will hear me. "Hell yeah, they are," Emmett's loud answer is followed by a growl which he responds to with a chuckle. I ignore Emmett as I take in my new chest. Rosalie steps up behind me, "You have to hunt, Willow."

The burn in my throat had faded until she reminded me. I smooth down the sides of my knee length skirt and nod, "Okay, I'm ready. No more distractions." I follow behind the two women, looking at my outfit. I knew from Esme's descriptions of her strengths that it wouldn't be a hindrance but I hated the idea of ruining the expensive clothes I have on. The dark green skirt was paired with a yellow shirt with a green ivy pattern winding over the arms and sides. I passed by everyone quickly, eager to feed. I peered through the darkness, able to see perfectly. I grinned and bounced on my toes before spinning in a small circle. Esme closed the door behind her and led me to the edge of the woods. She held my hands and smiled softly, "What do you want to go for?" I cocked my head to the side and listened for a second. I heard everything. It was making my head feel all wonky, bugs crawling around, the wind blowing through the leaves, a small stream nearby and a group of heartbeats. I looked Esme in the eyes, "Deer?" She nodded and stepped back, "We'll be right behind you." I inhaled deeply and focused on the point I wanted to reach. I threw myself into running, my speed made me feel like I was almost flying.

In no time, I pounced on a large doe. I tackled her and held fast as she tried to kick and buck free. I sank my teeth into her slender neck and drank deeply. Something in me called for more damage, to rip the deer apart and feast on her raw flesh too. I let go of the doe and sprang towards a large buck. I took hold of his antlers and twisted sharply as I sank my teeth into his pulsing neck. I stood up and wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand. I licked the blood off of the back of my hand and looked up. I froze at the sight in front of me. Edward was looking at me with wide eyes and an indescribable look on his face. I could just imagine how I looked, bright red eyes and covered in blood. I looked down and saw that there were only a few drops staining my shirt. There were more dirt and grass stains than blood on my outfit. I looked back up and waved, "Hi!" I skipped over the two cooling animal bodies and stopped in front of him. I twisted around looking for Esme and Rosalie, "Where did they go?"

Almost on cue, Rosalie came towards us. "Hey. Are you ready to head back? You haven't really met the family yet," she grabbed my hand and led me back towards the house. I heard Edward trailing behind us as we wound through the woods. I resisted the urge to look back as we made our way to the house. I looked up into the dark night sky admiring the stars, "Where are we?" Rosalie glanced at me before looking forward, "Alaska." I looked around and hummed under my breath, "Coolness." As soon as the front door closed behind us, I ran up the stairs and entered my room. I unlaced my boots and kicked the off, then closed my door. I walked towards the bathroom. My jaw dropped as I took in the pristine white marble covering the floor and counter. The floor held a sunken tub and there was a huge shower in the corner. Both had an assortment of toiletries handy. I turned the water or and began to fill the tub, making sure the water was very warm. I pulled the scrunchy from my hair and took off my skirt and top. Only wearing my undies, I went to take a look in my closet. Holy cow on a sesame bun! My closet was filled with all sorts of clothes. Most of them were similar to the purchases I made with Esme in Los Angeles. I wanted to make a good impression when I formally met everyone. I skimmed through it all. There was nothing fuzzy or bright or baggy. I sighed and rested my forehead against the closet door.

I left my clothes on the large bed and entered the bathroom. I slipped into the tub. Sigh and drool, this felt so good. I dunked my head under the water before washing it. I pinned my hair up after rinsing it and rested against the side of the tub. The scent of lavender mingled with freesia relaxing me. I scrubbed myself clean and drained the tub before rinsing myself off. I toweled myself dry and walked to the dresser. I pulled a set of dark green cotton underwear out and pulled it on before drying my hair. I sat at the vanity and picked up a brush. As I began to detangle the damp strands, a small knock caught my attention. I had been trying so hard to block out the endless noise coming from the seven people moving around through the house, but the knock ruined my focus. I turned to the door and called out, "I'll be right down!"

"Willow? It's me, Esme," I scampered off of my seat and opened the door slightly to let the older woman in as soon as I heard her soft voice. I closed the door behind her and smiled. "Sorry if I'm taking so long. I just couldn't find the right kind of clothes to make a good impression. I'm used to my old clothes," I ducked my head and walked back to the closet. Esme followed me and rubbed my back softly, "I'm sure we'll find something suitable. Just pick from the things you and I picked out in Los Angeles." I exhaled and looked through the closet. My mind took in everything I saw down to the last detail and my new vampy photographic memory was making it stick. I reached in and pulled out a black sundress, handing it to Esme as I made my way back to the vanity. After putting my hair up with a butterfly clip, I took the dress back and quickly put it on. Esme wordlessly let my hair down and began to brush it out. I tilted my head back and enjoyed the feeling of being taken care of. I looked at Esme and the look on her face. There was a slight frown as she worked on the small knots in my hair. Her eyes caught mine and her face went blank for a moment before a bright smile appeared. She returned her focus to my hair and I kept watching her. After a minute, she set the brush down and patted my shoulder, "Do you want to do anything with it?" I shook my head and reached for a black headband. I slid it on and stood up. Checking my dress to make sure my bra wasn't showing, I slid on a pair of black flats and turned to Esme.

I followed behind her, my eyes taking in the tiny details I looked over before. Where my house had a few pictures that showed my family, the walls here were bare except for a tasteful painting here and there. As we went down the stairs, I reached for Esme's hand. I felt stupid for doing it. I was used to being on my own. My parents were always away, Xander came by but usually it was for food or a quiet place to sleep and not to check on me, Giles and Cordy had no idea of my home life and Buffy didn't see the downside to not having parents around. I had gotten used to the idea of having to take care of myself, it didn't bother me anymore. Then, Jenny came around. Now that I know she was keeping an eye on Angel and Buffy for her family, it means even more that she thought to ask me about myself and if my parents would mind me being late the few times she helped us research or when she would e-mail me links to sites that dealt with magic. It reminded me of the late night calls from Jesse before high school and girls entered the equation, making him call less and less. Every time someone came along who cared, fate took them away. I tightened my grip on Esme's lukewarm hand.

My vision grew dark as I focused on her. She was like my new mom, but even better. A mom who couldn't get sick or die, who would never leave me behind for work or dinner parties, she was a freak. A monster, just like me, she couldn't go anywhere else. The large part that was telling me to calm down and that I was thinking crazy thoughts kept getting smaller and smaller at the idea of having someone who would care forever. A small crack followed by a larger one reached my ears and snapped me out of my haze.

I was on my back with a snarling monster crouched on top of me. The neat hair, perfectly ironed clothes and kind eyes were gone. Carlisle's hands were around my throat and the snarls were registering as words. "We looked for you, protected you, saved you and this is how you repay us? You attack my wife, my mate," his voice was deep and for once all the beauty was gone. Even as I was being prepped for death by Maria, Victoria and James, they all seemed so human but this woke me up. Carlisle was just like them, his golden eyes and kindness were just surface. Deep down he was a killer like them, like me, and like James. Was he going to hurt me too? Teach me a lesson before destroying me? Something clicked into place, something that shouldn't have clicked. I thought when I chose to live I gave up that false birthright and anything else from my former life, but somehow it was still there.

I brought my arms up and reached for his wrists, dragging his hands away from my throat before bringing up my leg. I placed my foot against his chest and kicked out, watching him fly back. I quickly somersaulted backward and landed on my feet. I dropped into a defensive crouch with my arms dangling in front of me. It was a classic Faith pose. It kept you ready for action but made you seems small and defenseless according to her. I looked up at the group of vampires. Esme was by Carlisle's side helping him up with Edward right behind her and Jasper had Alice across the room, blocking her with his body as she tried to peek around him. A cloud of jasmine, roses, sawdust and pine settled around me. A strong hand reached down and pulled me up before pushing me back.

It was Rosalie and Emmett who were now in front of me, facing Carlisle. I backed up slightly, stopping as I felt the steps against my skin. "She's dangerous. We can't read her or control her. Carlisle needs to end this," Edward's voice sounded closer than it was giving me another reminder of the freak I've become. I sat on the steps and wrapped my arms around myself. "I'm not dangerous, I just got….," I trailed off unsure of what to say.

I was dangerous. I had skin that could only be pierced by another of my kind. My fluids were being slowly replaced with venom and I looked vaguely like the girl I once was. Yet, I didn't want to harm anyone.

I looked to Esme and Carlisle's faces and hugged myself more tightly. Obviously, I could though. I wasn't mindful of my strength and Esme suffered from it. I could never go back. I know what the Powers That Be said but I had some small hope that things would be different. It was really over, my life was over. I wasn't Willow anymore and I never would be again.