Chapter Eleven: Never Slow Down

Bella POV

The last month and a half was the hardest I'd ever had to deal with. The time people were calling me a slut and everything, that was bad, but this seemed unbearable. Because, during those six months that was happening, Emmett wasn't mine. He was mine now and it seemed everyday we grew farther and farther apart. How could I end things with him when I was so in love with him? But watching the two of them be together to do baby things, broke my heart.

"You wanna go and get something to eat after school?" I asked at lunch that day.

"Oh...ummm...I can't, Bells. Sorry." He said and my heart grew heavy. "I want to, but Rosalie has a doctor appointment. Tomorrow?" Doctor appointment. Rosalie. the mother of Emmett's child.

"Right...doctor's appointment." I said and ran out of the room, trying to hold back tears. I knew I was being a hypocrite. I told him we'd stay together, that I could handle watching them together. But the more time went on, the harder it got to keep what I said true. I stopped at my locker and stuck my head inside, trying to escape the world.

"Bella?" I heard Edward ask behind me. I jumped and hit my head off of the locker door.

"Damn!" I screamed out in pain.

"Oh...you okay?" He laughed.

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked, shutting my locker as we walked outside.

"You okay?"

"Just peachy, Edward." I said, rolling my eyes at him. "My current boyfriend is having a baby with his ex-girlfrind. Life sure is grand isn't it?"I asked sarcastically.

"I know you aren't okay with that. I was asking about what happened in the lunchroom."

"Nothing, I just asked if he wanted to get something to eat after school and he...and Rosalie have a fucking doctor's appointment!" I shouted, slumping down on a bench. Edward sat down next to me, wrapping his jacket around me and just letting me vent. I heard someone clearing their throat after a while and looked up and Emmett.

"Oh, I'll just go." Edward said and stood up. "You can keep it." He said after I'd tried handing me his jacket back. He left, leaving just Emmett and I together. He didn't say anything, just came and sat next to me.

"What?" He finally asked.

"What do you mean, what?" I practically seethed.

"What's up with you?"

"You and Rosalie! That's what's up!" I screamed, standing up.

"What do you want me to say Bella? Because nothing I say or do makes you happy anymore!"

"You should know what you need to do, Em!"

"No, I really don't because you said you'd be okay with this! You knew what was going to happen with Rosalie and I, but you said you could handle it! Stop doing this every time I tell you I need to be with Rosalie, I have a responsibility to her and the baby." He said, standing up and beginning to pace. "You think I like this? Not being able to spend time with you because I have to be with her? Look, I love that baby but I'd rather be with you. Frankly, Bella, I'm miserable!"

"Emmett..."

"No! You need to stop getting so upset when we can't do things together because of Rosalie. Rosalie and I are having a baby together...you know this. I can't...I can't take this anymore! Rosalie is always up my ass about something...my Mom and I barely speak anymore. I had to quit basketball so I could get a job...that's like taking away a schizophrenic's medicine! And on top of it all...I NVER SEE YOU!" He yelled, his breathing hard and fast. I hated seeing him like this. He had been so okay with everything so far, I hated seeing him looking so broken. The bell to get to class rang and he began to walk inside.

"Hey!" I yelled at him and he turned to me. "You aren't going anywhere."

"The bell rang."

"I don't give a fuck about the bell. Sit down and talk to me, not spaz at me." I said and he came over to me. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I know I said what I did, it doesn't make it any easier. I know you have fill your responsibility with Rosalie, but could you please try to fit me in? I'm in your life too, Emmett and I'm not upset because you have to do those things, I'm proud your taking action. I'm hurt because...because I feel like I'm loosing you." I cried.

"Baby, you'll never loose me."

"Really? Because the baby isn't even here yet and...I never see you and you're ALWAYS with her."

"I have to be, Bells."

"I know. I just...I miss you. We've been dating for almost two months and I've only seen you for a months time." I told him and he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my shoulder.

"I miss you too. I'd rather be taking you to doctor's appointments and buy baby things with you." He said and I gave him a weird look. "I just mean I'd rather be in this place with you."

"But you aren't." I finally said and we were silent again. "So..."

"What now?" He asked and I looked at him, long and hard.

"I want us to be together, but I need to know you're still here. With me. That you're still mine."

"You are mine. And I'm yours. Nothing is going to change that."

"A baby might." I said, fighting back tears.

"We won't know until it gets here. But until he or she arrives, we won't know. I just want to be with you as long as I can be, Bella. And that better be forever because I don't know what I'd do if we were to not make it." He confessed and I leaned into a kiss. Our kisses were always sweet and gentle, filled with love. But this one was passionate and hot, filled with fire. We were both breathless by the time we parted lips.

"We...we should get to class." I panted.

"Why, it's almost over." He joked as we stood up. We took each other's hand as we walked inside.

"When do you find out if it's a boy or girl?" I asked.

"I think today actually. You want me to tell you when I find out?"

"Only if you tell me in person." I joked, as he kissed the top of my head. The rest of the day seemed to go go more happily. Things wouldn't be the perfect love story I'd hoped it would be when we first started to date, but they would be amazing. I had a man who loved me and I loved him. I got home and began looking through a song book before finding the next one I wanted to try. I began looking over the chords, mainly to distract myself from the fact Emmett wasn't with me because he was with Rosalie.

When I heard the doorbell, I jumped up and ran to the door. When I saw him standing there, I jumped up into his arms and kissed him. He caught me easily as I wrapped my legs around the waist. He carried me inside, slamming the door and through me onto the couch. Neither of my parents were home, we had the house to ourselves. He began kissing my neck as I pawed at the hem of his shirt. He raised his arms up and I slid the shirt off.

"Oh...god." I said, examining his body. He was perfectly sculpted. Perfect abs that weren't overdone, beautiful pecks that made my mouth water, and arms that I couldn't even wrap two hands around. Last time I saw Emmett with no shirt on was the summer before Sophomore year...he did not look like this. I crashed my lips to his as he began to play with the hem of my t-shirt. I lifted up to he could slide it off. As I was reaching for the button on his jeans, his body became tense and I felt him pushing away.

"Bella, no." He said, sitting up and sitting on the couch. I was baffled. Had he just said no to what I was offering to give him? I sat up and moved to straddle his hips, but he pushed me away and stood up. "Bella, we can't."

"Why not? You want this. I want this. So...come back here." I tried but he only shook his head.

"Bella, you don't want this. I know you. You aren't ready, I know you."

"But I do want you, Emmett."

"No you want to compete with Rosalie." He said, sounding angry. "God, Bella. Ever since we found out Rosalie was pregnant this is all you do. You try and do everything I did with Rosalie. And that's fine but I'm not going to have sex with you...take your virginity...because Rosalie and I had sex. This isn't how we're going to do this for the first time." He yelled and I just sat there.

"I wasn't trying to compete with Rosalie. I just...I wanted..." I said before I began crying. "You're right. I'm not ready. But I hate knowing you two did this."

"Why, though?"

"Because it's something you two have and we don't!" I yelled.

"Look, one day. Maybe when we're both ready. But you aren't ready yet, Bella. I want you to want me because you love me, not because Rosalie and I have done it." He told me and I fell into his embrace.

"Okay. Now are you going to tell me if it's a boy or girl?" I asked.

"I was going to but you jumped me when I tried." He laughed, pulling his shirt back on and sitting down on the couch. "It's a girl. I'm have a daughter."

"Awww, Em that's...that's so sweet. You are going to spoil her rotten."

"Hey!"

"What? You spoil your little neighbor and she isn't even yours. It'll happen with your kid no doubt." I joked. We spent the rest of the time trying to work everything out. We had a lot of things that needed to be talked about, and had kept it in until today.

The next few months months passed by more easily than I thought it would. Emmett convinced Rosalie to be nicer to me and we actually began getting along. Sooner or later it was June and we were out of school and I was so happy. This had been the worst junior of high school ever. But it had turned out to be not so bad. I had awesome friends, Edward and I were best friends again and I had a boyfriend who I loved dearly.

Rosalie's due date was coming up and Emmett had begged me to throw Rosalie a baby shower. I reluctantly agreed, knowing it would make him happy.

"Thank you for doing this, Bella." She said as we were setting up the hall we had rented.

"No problem." I said, trying to sound friendly.

"I know you aren't doing this for me and the only reason your doing it is because Emmett asked you. It's okay." She said, looking sad.

"Look, all of this tension between us, it isn't just because you and Emmett are having a baby together. It's because you did what you did to me and still manage to have Emmett in your life."

"Believe me, I was done when he sang to you in front of everybody. I was, if I hadn't gotten pregnant Emmett and I would be...way over. Trust me. I was ready to move on and I almost had."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I met a guy who works in Port Angeles while shopping. And we were getting along really well...until he found out I was pregnant."

"Oh, Rosalie, I'm...I'm sorry. I guess I've only been thinking of what this was doing to Emmett, and our relationship."

"It's understandable."

"Maybe, but it was selfish and I'm sorry."

"Your sorry? I should be apologizing. I can't believe I did what I did to you. It was wrong and I was being the biggest hypocrite ever."

"Look,Rosalie. I think it's safe to say we'll never be friends." I said and she laughed and nodded. "But can we call a truce?" I said, holding out my hand.

"Truce." She said smiling, and gripping my hand. The rest of the setting up went by peacefully and soon enough her friends began arriving. The party went smoothly and thankfully she invited a few of my friends so I wasn't completely alone. Emmett arrived at the time she began opening gifts and I was thankful I'd be able to see him today, even if he was with Rosalie.

The baby shower ended and they were more than prepared to have their daughter. I was happy to see him so happy and acting so responibility for his kid. But I couldn't help but feel a ping of jealousy with each gift they opened. I sat in bed that night, not being able to sleep. I knew that when the baby came, Rosalie would be in and I'd be out. But I prayed and prayed that it wouldn't happen. I prayed to God I'd still have my boyfriend even though he was having a baby with another girl. I had to keep strong. I needed Emmett to be in my life. I didn't know how to be without him.