These drabbles contain slash between Roxas and Sora. If this offends you, please turn back now. I respect any desires not to read such material and wish no offense; therefore, you have been warned about the potentially offensive content of this story. Thanks for your understanding!

11: Don't break

Rating: K
Genre: Angst, romance
Pairing: Roxas/Sora
Warnings: Anorexia

Definitions
Anorexia: 1. Loss of appetite, especially as a result of disease.
2. Anorexia nervosa.


There you are, sitting on a wharf and laughing and waving your legs as the evening is slowly turning into a quiet night. Water is starting to become cold and you cry out as it strokes your toes, calves, far too thin ankles. The light is still reaching over the trees before disappearing completely; you stretch yourself and lie on your back on the wharf and the sun tickles your ribs. You smile, you laugh, and I'm feeling nauseated. I'm too scared to touch you.

You turn to lie on your stomach. When you press your head on your own arms, your shoulder blades are like two sharp bridges. I used to let my fingers outline them and you loved it. Now I stay meters away, sit quietly and watch how the light dances on your bones.

What are you staring at?

You're beautiful.

You're laughing again. How could you do that to yourself?

No, I'm not. Look at me.

I'm too afraid. I fear that there won't be anything left to see in you, that every glance is wearing out your body. You're so petite, you're a straw on the wharf, you're like a ray from behind the clouds.

You smile and warmth radiates from you. I think you are doing well. Why am I feeling so ill?

What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with me, you ask? The answer is you. I fear you will disappear. I fear that someday I will wake up and your resources have run out.

Nothing.

And I lie down next to you so you will feel even better. You kiss my cheek and grin and when I smile, you laugh again. I used to laugh with you. Always. Now I'm far too frightened. The sun is disappearing and we stay in shadows, I would like to be next to you, around you, I'd like to be your sun like you were mine. But your thin body looks so powerless, so fragile that I'm afraid to touch you. You look like you're ready to break. You weren't always like that; you used to be so beautiful, so beautiful, I almost collapsed every time I saw you. You're always so happy. What is eating you so?

I love you.

I fear you.

I love you too.

I could stop you. I could save you. You little branch in the autumn silence, you little butterfly I'm too afraid to catch. You are running away from me. And I will never forgive myself for that.

I am just watching as you fade slowly day by day. You were enough for me just as you were!

Why are you so quiet?

Because I'm scared and I can't tell you that.

How could you do that to yourself?

Your smile disappears as if you don't understand.

Do what?

Do what? Lose yourself. I can't touch you because you will break in my arms! I don't know how to handle porcelain birds.

But I don't answer after all. I just stroke you, your shoulder blades just like before; before they were so distinguishable. But I can't take it much longer, it's hurting me. I sit up and turn my back to you. I'm completely silent but there is fear screaming inside my head.

Don't break.

You're so silly.

And you laugh again. You come to sit closer to me. Can't you see yourself? Don't you understand how gentle I must be to treat you, how hard it is to protect you from the world? I wrap my arm around you carefully. Don't break, don't break in my arms, I plead in my mind, and you just smile and purr. You are mine but I don't know how to make you my pet.

I'm weak. I can't help you. I can't stop you as you walk the wrong path; small, innocent, curious. You can't be fine.

I feel so safe when I am near you. I fit in your arms so perfectly.

Don't break.

Please.