Hogwarts, Fourth Year…

'Lemon drops,' said John Lupin, taking a step back as the gargoyles sprang to life. 'I still don't know why you insisted on coming here with me, Remus,' he said, as he and his son began climbing up the spiral staircase. 'You're not going to weasel anything out of me. You could have put the effort in helping your mother with Christmas dinner instead.'

Remus pouted, as he brushed off snow from his hair. 'Come on, dad. Just a hint. What could Dumbledore possibly call you over Christmas for?'

John sighed irritably. He didn't understand why his son was being so damn persistent over a matter not concerning him. 'I've told you before, Remus. I. Don't. Know. Dumbledore didn't give a lot of details, and even if he had, I wouldn't have told you. So stop it, okay?'

It was obviously the end to the conversation, so Remus didn't pursue the subject further in fear of getting his father angry. It wasn't that he would have particularly cared about the dealings between his father and Dumbledore, but he had an ominous feeling that this conversation was going to be about one particular incident concerning him and Slytherin underwear. Damn James and his pre holiday cheer!

John was just about to knock the door to Dumbledore's office, when they suddenly flung open and someone roughly brushed past them. Remus wasn't sure what had possessed him right then, but his head seemed to swivel on its own to follow the back of the figure, now retreating down the stairs. He wasn't really sure why he was staring, he wasn't even sure if it was a good thing or bad. All he knew was that when the man had walked past him, he'd felt an odd sort of connection.

He was so entranced that he hadn't even noticed his father disappearing into Dumbledore's office or the door clicking shut beside him.

The cloaked figure stopped suddenly as if sensing Remus's piercing gaze. Remus gulped as the man turned, revealing a face so pale that it contrasted horribly with his otherwise black hair and robes. Despite the hair falling over his face, you could still make out his sharp chiseled features and an ever rational part of Remus's brain told him that this man was supposed to be good looking. But he wasn't – his face seemed burnt and oddly distorted, and as the man bent down to his eye level, Remus noted with horror that the whites of his eyes were blood red instead.

The man smiled at him, and though it seemed sincere and charming, it lacked any sort of warmth. 'Remus,' he whispered, as he raised his hand and delicately traced Remus's jaw with a single bony finger. 'Remus Lupin.'

Remus stared into his dark eyes, transfixed, and confused, and scared all at once. He tried to ask the man how he knew him, but found that his voice had long died in his throat.

The man straightened and as if answering the question in Remus's mind, introduced himself. 'I am Voldemort.'

Remus's eyes widened. He knew of Voldemort, of course. Who didn't? Professor Slughorn often spoke very highly of him, the Ministry pined after him, but he was a man of his own. He was supposed to be a genius, a scientist, who experimented with magic of all sorts, irrespective of whether it was dark or otherwise. There were a few rumours and disapprovals over his methods but they were a small minority and more often than not, dismissed. Many claimed that he was destined to be an even greater wizard than Dumbledore, but Remus doubted it. No one was greater than Albus Dumbledore.

'You're a student here,' said Voldemort in a smooth and silky voice.

It was more of a statement than a question, so Remus didn't bother replying. Not that he could anyway. He was feeling oddly exposed as Voldemort looked at him intently. As if ever embarrassing part of his life was being laid down before this mysterious man and all Remus could do was watch, as he was scrutinised, analysed, and picked apart.

'Such power,' Voldemort said slowly, leaning closer and trailing his hand down Remus's neck, brushing over the registry code hidden underneath his shirt collar. He smiled as the boy shivered under his touch. 'But you're tainted, Remus…' His hand traveled lower, stopping in the middle of Remus's chest. 'By this…'

Remus felt cold grip tightly at his heart, and he abruptly stepped back, overwhelmed and clutching at his chest. His heart was beating at a furious pace, enough to make his ribs crack. His lungs felt like they were going to collapse any minute, and he struggled to take deep breaths. His mind was already fuzzing over the lack of oxygen.

Voldemort chuckled and let his hand drop. 'Don't be afraid of the power you hold within, Remus. Embrace it, manipulate it, and watch as the world bows down to you.' He caught Remus's eyes and held them. 'There's so much I could teach you, so much you could learn, but it would seem,' he said solemnly, looking towards the doors to Dumbledore's office, 'that I am not welcome here.'

There was a gust of wind, a swish of cloak and before Remus could register what Voldemort had said, he'd vanished, almost as if he'd never been there at all; as if it had just been a dream, a very bad dream…

Remus felt his knees go weak, and he slumped down on the floor, leaning his head against the wall behind him. This man…Voldemort…he'd known about Remus…known his name…his…condition…but how…and all the things he'd said... Remus found himself shaking and sweating, as he remembered Voldemort's silky voice and subtle touches. His registry code throbbed dully where it had been touched and though he was gone, Remus could still feel the ghost of Voldemort's fingers running over his skin. He swallowed heavily. It wasn't fear that he was feeling right then. No, it was more of a feeling of complete helplessness…he felt weak and insignificant…and cold, so cold…

He could hear his father's voice through the doors but it sounded far off, and he couldn't bring himself to listen or care. 'Don't you think you're overreacting, Dumbledore?'

'At the pace the ministry is going, I can't help but take precautions, John. However, I understand if you're reluctant to-'

'Don't be ridiculous, Dumbledore.' The handle turned. 'You know I'm there.'

The doors swung open. 'Then welcome to the Order, John Lupin.'

Both John and Dumbledore stopped dead in their tracks as their eyes fell down to the small figure, flaccid against the wall. 'Remus?

Remus seemed to have finally noticed them and got up suddenly, eyes still a little unfocused. 'Oh, hi, dad!' He tried to sound cheerful but his voice cracked horribly in the end.

John frowned and reached out a hand to his son's forehead. It was as cold as the snow outside; yet, his hand came back wet with sweat. Remus's face was as pale as death and occasional tremors ran through his body. They weren't noticeable to the untrained eye, but John Lupin had gone through enough full moons to be able to detect even the smallest changes. 'What's wrong? You were fine when I left you.'

Remus didn't hear his father's question. He had already closed his eyes, when he'd felt large calloused fingers running through his sweat soaked hair. There was comfortable warmth spreading through ever fibre of his body and through those small gestures of concern, seeped in his father's courage, strength, and compassion.

John Lupin looked at Dumbledore quizzically, as his son leant closer into him. Remus was never the one for public displays of affection. At home, he was like a puppy, but he usually shied away from anything of the sort outside because it was apparently embarrassing to be babied by his parents at fourteen.

Dumbledore just smiled, an odd twinkle in his vibrant blue eyes. 'It's strange, isn't it, John,' he said, stroking his beard. 'How despite all our advancements, love still remains to be the most powerful magic of all.'

XxxxX

'I wish you'd stop staring, Sirius. It's really quite disconcerting,' said Remus quietly from the window ledge of the boy's dormitory.

Sirius didn't even bother to ask how Remus knew it was him without turning. It was always the same answer, and it always left him confused every time he heard it. Instead, he walked over to ledge and sat himself beside Remus, leaning slightly against the frame.

'You did well in practice today,' said Remus, putting his book down. He looked at Sirius and smiled. 'I was watching you guys. James is still showing off to Peter.'

'Hm,' Sirius agreed non committally, sparing a glance towards the figure of James Potter in the field. He was really more interested in the scar on Remus's neck. He'd never actually seen it before since his friend usually preferred to cover it up with clothing or hair. But Remus seemed to have put his defenses down today, choosing to leave his shirt barely draped over his shoulders, buttons open. The wind occasionally blew his brown hair away from his neck, exposing the faint red scar that ran down to his shoulder. 'You still have the werewolf scar,' said Sirius, finally giving in and tracing the mark with his fingers.

Remus reached up for his neck, his hand brushing past Sirius's. 'Yeah…yeah, I do. Wait,' he said, frowning and looking at his friend. 'How did you-'

'I have my sources,' Sirius cut in. His hand still hadn't left the scar and instead traveled higher, moving on to the base of Remus's neck where he was sure he'd seen something else. Something that looked a lot like a bruise.

Remus closed his eyes, biting his lip. 'Sirius, please, don't,' he whispered.

Sirius ignored him, moving away Remus's soft hair from his neck to his shoulders.

'Sirius,' pleaded Remus, almost desperate, his fists now clenching tightly. He was already uncomfortable with people touching his registry code, but then memories of his encounter with Voldemort were coming back to him. The way cold had swept over him when Voldemort had touched the base of his neck, the fear, the vulnerability.

Remus…Remus Lupin…

'Shh…' There it was, the discolouration he'd seen, but it wasn't any ordinary bruise. No, it had a sort of pattern – a number and letters. Sirius traced them slowly with one finger, memorising it with ever stroke. RJL – 200488 – 18.

Don't be afraid of the power you hold, Remus. Embrace it, manipulate it…

Sirius yelped as Remus suddenly grabbed him by the wrists and forcefully pushed him over ledge, so that part of his body from waist up was outside - hanging in mid air with only Remus's firm grip keeping him from falling down. Sirius went still in fear of falling. The wind whipped his hair wildly beneath him, and he tried not to look down through the corner of his eyes. Instead, he focused on the feral glint in Remus's eyes.

Remus leaned down closer to Sirius's face, tightening his grip on his wrist and pushing him further down. 'I told you. Not. To. Touch. It,' he growled through clenched teeth.

Suddenly, Sirius burst out laughing. He didn't know why. The situation wasn't even remotely funny. Maybe it was over the irony that he'd always thought of Remus as the prissy, non violent sort. Maybe it was because he liked Remus this way - dangerous and out in the open, with Sirius's life at his mercy. It was exhilarating and exciting, and just another mysterious shade of Remus Lupin waiting to be discovered.

The glint in Remus's eyes disappeared, and he frowned at Sirius's unexpected behaviour. Sirius took Remus's momentary confusion, and hooked his right foot to Remus's thigh to pull himself upright.

He looked deep into startled amber eyes, his hand slowly, inconspicuously, going back to the base of his neck. 'What is it?'

Remus didn't move this time but that look was back, and Sirius could tell that he was fighting to restrain himself. 'It's none of you fucking business,' he said roughly.

Sirius gently rubbed the back of Remus's neck. He should have been angry. Angry at Remus for nearly killing him. Angry for denying him the truth, for hiding things from him when he knew that Sirius cared for him. He should have been angry for making Sirius care for him…but he wasn't. In fact, he found himself being more affectionate towards the werewolf. He already knew what those numbers represented, he'd known since he was six. 'Those bastards,' he whispered, reaching the other hand to Remus's hair to brush it away from his eyes.

Remus shivered under the gentle touch. His anger was dissipating, but his contempt was not. He didn't hate Sirius…he hated everyone, including himself. Voldemort's words were long forgotten, his mind choosing to echo every hurtful word he'd ever heard instead.

Werewolf, beast, halfbreed…

'Leave it be, Sirius,' he said slowly, looking away.

Sirius ignored him, resting his forehead against Remus's. The hand in his hair drifted lower to the small of Remus's back and beneath his shirt, pulling him closer. 'Those bastards,' repeated Sirius, this time with more vigour.

Neither knew who leaned in first and honestly, none of them cared because…because they were kissing each other, and Oh God…Sirius had never felt anything like that, and shit…where did Remus learn to kiss like that?

Remus sucked on Sirius's lower lip, pulling it into his mouth, nipping it and licking it, urging it to kiss back with equal fervour. He felt a tongue, hot and rough and wet, rub lightly against his own when he opened his mouth. But then, it was gone, and he desperately sought it out with his own tongue, his hands working to reach the skin underneath Sirius's shirt at the same time.

It was heat. Heat like they'd never experienced before and an overbearing pressure pushing against them, drawing their bodies closer and closer together. They were drowning in each other, suffocating, completely out of control.

Then there was the sound of footsteps echoing in the stairwell and they were getting louder, and Remus and Sirius immediately sprang back. They were panting and gasping, wanting to lean against each other but refraining because at that very moment, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew burst into the room.

'Hello, chaps!' said James cheerfully. He frowned at his friend's disheveled states. 'You guys okay?'

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. 'Yeah, Remus challenged me to a fight. I'm not sure who won though.' He tried to catch Remus's eye, but his friend was staring fixedly towards the door.

'Well, I'll be going then,' said Remus shakily, buttoning up his shirt. 'I still have a lot of work to complete.'

And Remus was out before anyone could say anything.

XxxxX

That night Sirius couldn't sleep. He kept replaying the kiss over and over again in his head, trying to figure out how they'd ended up from talking to nearly killing each other to snogging each other senseless.

Merlin, that kiss. It had been like nothing Sirius had ever experienced before, not with Tyra, or Melissa, or any of the other girls he'd dated. It had been beyond comprehension, beyond classification: like sex without any worldly boundaries where every nerve in your body was alive with sensation and every breath you took was short, sharp, and unnecessary because really, who cared about oxygen when you had a pair of soft lips over yours and there was warmth flowing over you, around you, inside you.

Sirius shuddered. He'd never thought about Remus this way before. Sure, he cared about him, and he'd always known that their relationship was special and different from the one he and James had shared. However, this…this was a whole other field.

Did this make him queer? Sirius's lip curled at the word. It didn't sound very respectable, no matter how you put it. It always ended as a joke or a disgusting swear-word. No, he wasn't queer. His family would never accept that. He would never accept that. What he could accept though, was that he wanted to kiss Remus again. He wanted to give whatever this was between them a try. And Remus had kissed him back, hadn't he? Surely, he could explain things better or perhaps, even go along with Sirius till things did clear up for both of them.

Sirius had made up his mind. He would talk to Remus right now and sort things out, once and for all. So, he swung his legs out of bed and walked over to Remus's. He wasn't the least bit surprised when he found his friend lying on his back, staring unblinkingly at the canopy above him.

'Sirius,' he said, sitting up to make room.

Sirius sat himself at the edge of the bed, looking intently at Remus's face. Was it just him or did Remus's lips still look swollen. He took a deep breath and plunged right in. 'I want to know what happened today, Remus. I want to know what it was and if we could-'

'Forget it,' interrupted Remus.

Sirius head jerked as if he'd been slapped.

Remus closed his eyes. 'I'm sorry it happened, and I wish I could blame it on the wolf but the action was my fault entirely. I've been having a hard time lately and when you touched the registry code on my neck, things seemed to just rush back, and I lost control. I'm sorry if it caused you any inconvenience.' The words poured out all at once, shaky and unsure, as if they were being forced and would rather be something else.

Sirius blinked, trying to dismiss the sinking feeling in his stomach as hunger. He wasn't disappointed of course. That would be ridiculous. He was just a little surprised at Remus's sudden answer. 'No, it's-'

'Forget it, Sirius,' said Remus more firmly; but this time, his voice cracked. 'The more you brood on it, the more uncomfortable our friendship will become. Just…let's go back to the way we were, okay?'

Sirius nodded dumbly. It would seem he had no say in this. Moreover, Remus was right of course, he always was. It was nothing; just a way of letting out all their pent up frustration and anger, and both his and Remus's methods had always been a tad unconventional. So really, kissing shouldn't have come as a surprise. It was impulse, carnal instinct, or whatever you might call it. It wasn't like it was love or anything, right?

XxxxX

Serpent91: Thanks. That chapter wasn't exactly my favourite, especially after I wrote the start of this one. But now I'm just being vain, so I'll just stop. Keep reviewing. Lady Molko: Hey, which superhero music is lamer? Superman, or the Powerpuff Girls? Stupid question, but I've always wondered. Anyway, thanks for reviewing. And don't worry, Lily gets over it eventually. Not like you didn't know that already. Annieboo92: Unfortunately, there was no happy, or cuteness in this chapter. Oddly, it was sort of dark overall, wasn't it? Wow, I didn't even realise it until now. I got a break from my exams for four days, so I thought I might as well update, and make myself useful. MagicalWinry: They're not so cute in this chapter. A little helplessness in the first part with Voldemort, which is sort of my favourite, but overall, they're quite uncute. Sesshomaruhasafluffytail: Keep doing the dance. It makes me happy. Leanna: ironically, I was little late for class writing that chapter. I'm glad you liked it. Keep reviewing. Embersandenvelopes: Lol. I guess they are a little too mature at times, but honestly, I can't remember how I acted when I was thirteen. In my defense, all I have to say, is that they're growing with every chapter, so eventually, their reactions are going to fit perfectly. Yes, lame, I know. Anyway, hope you like this chapter. Keep reviewing! moonshine and mustard seed: Uh…wow…just wow! There are no words to describe how I'm feeling right now. All I can say, is that this review has been one of my best b'day presents, ever. So, this chapter's for you… Ljaybrad: Well, luckily, you won't have to wait long. I got a good break from my exams, and I figured I might as well use my time to update in on the story. Wish me luck for my finals. Bye!