Disclaimer – Stephenie Meyers owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

A special thanks goes out to my beta, shelikesthesound.

Chapter 11

Laundry

BPOV

I couldn't believe that Edward had left me. The undeniable fact was…he'd packed a bag and driven away Saturday night. Then, at school, he wouldn't stand beside me at break, and he had almost gotten into a fight over us at lunch. He didn't seem to be having as much trouble adjusting to the situation as I was, but on a high note, he was going to take me to my OB appointment the next day. I had to make sure to dress nicely for him. I didn't want to embarrass him.

Alice and Jasper dropped me off at home…no my house. Without Edward there, it wasn't a home. I understood how Edward had felt when I'd stayed at Alice's. I realized we needed to be together, not staying nights away from each other. I could attempt to justify myself and say that Alice was my friend, and I was spending the night with her, but if I was honest with myself, I was spending the night away from him. His decision to leave was the same thing, but he had the guts to call a spade a spade.

I was lost without him. I walked into the empty house and threw my books down next to the table. I had tons of homework as I'd done none over the weekend. It had shown when, earlier, the teachers had called on me to answer questions. I was thoroughly embarrassed when I had nothing to say.

Edward, of course, was prepared. What did that mean? He was obviously able to do his homework over the weekend. Did that mean he didn't miss me? Wasn't it obvious? He didn't need me. He never did. He just humored me by doing homework with me. I was the dependent one, and I had nothing to offer the relationship. I had nothing to offer him. He was fine without me. I was suffering without him, I missed him something awful, and I wished he would just talk to me again.

Of course, I'd have another chance to talk to him the next day. He was still going to take me to our visit, and I could talk to him then. Yes, I could talk to him then. Now I had to do this homework. If only I could keep my mind on it. Not a chance. The more I tried to study, the more I thought about why Edward should be with me. I couldn't even finish the calculus homework that was assigned, and I'd been working on it the better part of two hours. Maybe he'd answer my call.

I picked up my cell and dialed his number. It rang and rang. No one answered, and I looked at the time. He should have been home, back to his room, by that time. I hoped nothing was wrong. I hung up the phone without leaving a message because I didn't want him thinking I was checking up on him. I went back to the calculus I couldn't seem to get the hang of. It should be easy, I knew. I picked it up so well in class. Was Edward the only reason I did well in my classes? Did I even deserve to be ranked where I was in our class, or was it all Edward's work that paid off for me?

I was still working the same problem twenty minutes later when my cell rang, making me jump sky-high. I looked at the number, and it was Edward. I smiled to myself.

"Hello, Edward. How are you doing?" I asked.

"Is everything okay? Are you and the baby okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're okay. Why do you ask?"

"I saw your number on my phone, and I got worried. Why did you call?"

"Oh, well, it's embarrassing, now."

"Well, what is it? You've got me on the phone."

"I need some help with my calculus. I'm thoroughly stuck," I laughed. He chuckled.

"I haven't picked it up, yet. Is it that bad?"

"No, I'm just not able to remember a thing from this morning, and the book doesn't make any sense to me, and I'm just stupid. If it wasn't for you, I'd be a nothing."

"Don't say that. You've helped me as much as I've helped you. Let's see. What number are you having problems on?"

"Number thirty-three."

"Okay, give me a second. The answer's 6x+5, right?"

"Right, how'd you get that?"

"You just take the second derivative."

"Wait, what about the x squared?"

"You take the derivative, Bella."

"What do you mean?"

"The second derivative of x cubed is 6x, Bella."

"Oh, yeah. I get it. I feel so stupid."

"Is this really why you called?"

"Yeah. I've been working on it for two and a half hours."

"Gee, mental block."

"Yeah, I guess so. Homework hasn't been great without you."

"I know what you mean. Look, Bella. I do see us together in the future. I'm not sure exactly when that is, but I do see us together. I don't wanna divorce from you. I'm not ready to let you go, officially, to let you back on the market, so don't go and get any ideas that I've given up on us. I haven't. I just need time, okay?"

"When, Edward? As in before the baby is born? Or are you gonna make me go through labor without you by my side?"

"If I was smart, I'd say that I'd make you go through labor alone. Then my hands might survive the delivery," Edward laughed.

"You think you're funny? That isn't funny. I didn't squeeze your hand that hard. I was holding back," I laughed.

"Yeah, well, I need to get on this homework," he said.

"Yeah, me, too. Can I call you back if I get stuck again?"

"Yeah, you'd better. I wouldn't want you up all night because of a calculus problem."

"Night, Edward."

"Night, Bella." He hung up the phone, and I cradled mine to my ear. What he'd told me finally made sense. It was a stupid mistake on my part. I didn't know how I would ever live this one down. I quickly finished the rest of my homework, and I tried to study some for the upcoming week. I did my reading out loud so that the baby could hear it. It was never too early to begin reading to your child, or so the baby books said anyway.

The next morning, Alice was there to pick me up right on time. I sat in the back seat. Jasper wanted to, but I insisted. I wasn't going to kick him out of his seat just because Edward had kicked me out of mine. I met up with Edward at our lockers. I didn't say anything to him, and he didn't even look my way. Our easy banter of the night before was a thing of the past. Maybe we needed to just communicate on our cell phones.

I tried to pay attention in classes, but my attention kept being drawn back to Edward. He looked so good that morning. I tried to ignore him, but it was impossible. Mrs. Briggs called me to stay after class when she'd called on me for an answer, and I hadn't even heard the question. Unfortunately, her class bordered morning break, so she had all of the time in the world to yell at me.

"Bella, what has gotten into you lately? You've never come to school unprepared, and to not be paying attention! It's almost as if you're drooling over Edward. I'd almost say you have a school girl crush on your husband. What is going on with you?"

"Trust me, I'm not drooling over Edward, Mrs. Briggs," I said.

"Then what is going on? You can't keep your eyes off of him during class, and you're not paying attention."

I guess the tears started flowing without my noticing, because Mrs. Briggs handed me a tissue. "Thanks. I'm looking at him, but I'm not drooling. I just wish that…Oh, it's nothing."

"What's nothing, Bella?"

"I can't talk about it. Edward wouldn't like it. Talking about our problems is why I'm in this mess to begin with." I stumbled through the sentence.

"Bella, what are you talking about? You aren't making any sense."

"He left." I was crying hard now. I wiped my eyes with my hand. "He left me."

"What do you mean, 'he left you?'"

"He's gone. He moved out. He left me."

"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. No wonder you've been distracted. How are you doing?" I shook my head. She pulled me into an embrace. Just then Mr. Thompson walked by, and he stuck his head in the door.

"Everything okay here?" he asked.

Mrs. Briggs shook her head. "Bella, as your advisor, he should know when you're going through something like this." I shook my head.

"I don't want everyone to know," I said.

"What's wrong, Bella? You know you can tell me anything. As your student advisor it won't go past me unless you're being hurt in some way. Edward hasn't done anything to hurt you has he?"

"Not like that," I said, wiping my eyes. "He would never raise a hand to hurt me. He would protect me with his life."

"Then what's wrong, dear?" Mr. Thompson asked.

"Edward left me. He moved out last weekend. I'm just overly emotional right now because of the baby," I said.

"What baby? You're pregnant?" Mrs. Briggs asked. I nodded.

"I see. That makes a big difference in this class, Bella. You should have told me immediately. We could have already done dissections. You must wear gloves when you dissect."

"I hate gloves when I dissect," I said.

"I do, too, and most of my students do, but because of the preservatives, you have to wear them. I'm sorry," Mrs. Briggs said.

"Yes, Ma'am," I said.

"What do you mean 'Edward left you?'" Mr. Thompson asked.

"Yeah. I'm not handling it very well. I go home to an empty house, and I cry all night. By the time I get my homework done, it's midnight or later, and then I have nightmares about him leaving all over again. I don't think I've slept three straight hours since he left. But you can't tell him I told you. He doesn't like other people knowing our business. It's why he left. It seems that I can't keep my mouth shut about our lives. I told his parents about our fighting, and he left."

"Well, he won't hear it from either of us. Let me know if you need anything, dear," Mrs. Briggs said.

"Yes, Ma'am. Am I excused?"

"Yes, dear. And Bella, do try to pay attention to my lecture, not Edward during class."

"Yes, Ma'am."

I went back out to break with Alice and Jasper. They had, of course, wondered where I'd been, and I explained to them that I'd gotten in trouble for not paying attention in class. I got a bottle of water and took one of my phenergans for the nausea I'd been struggling with all morning, and just as I finished swallowing the pill, the bell rang for government and Mr. Thompson's class. I took the bottle of water with me and asked Mr. Thompson if I could keep it with me at my desk as I was nauseated, and he told me, "Of course."

Half-way through class, I gave up. I got up and ran from the room to the bathroom and threw up my breakfast. It was the first time I'd vomited at school, and I felt horrible for it. I rinsed out my mouth at the sink and made my way back to government. Everyone looked at me when I came back in the door.

"Are you okay, Ms. Cullen?" Mr. Thompson asked. I nodded and took my seat. I got my water and took another of the phenergans, figuring that since I could have one to two every six hours and I'd only had one, that I could have another. So what if it made me drowsy? That was better than puking my guts up.

About the time I put the water down on the floor, Edward slipped a note onto my desk. It said, "Are you okay?"

I wrote back, "No Stupid, I'm pregnant!" and passed the note back to him, just at the wrong time. Mr. Thompson was looking our way.

"Mr. Cullen, would you like to share that note with the rest of the class?" Mr. Thompson asked.

"No, Sir," Edward said to everyone else's disappointment.

"Bring it to me," Mr. Thompson said. Edward got up and took the note to him. He read it and looked at the two of us. "Okay class. The Cullens' just bought you a pop-test. Take out your paper and number it one to ten." His choice had been to read it aloud anyway, or to keep our privacy and give the entire class a pop-test. I guess he was still feeling sympathetic to me from our earlier talk.

The test was easy, at least to me it was. I'd gleaned at least that much from my reading the night before. I hoped Edward had gotten around to reading, as well. I felt so off not knowing how he was doing. It was foreign to me.

I made it through English by the skin of my teeth; I was so drowsy. Luckily, she didn't call on me that time. The bashing I'd gotten the day before was enough for awhile, I guess.

Lunch time came as a blessing because I was able to put my head down on the table and sleep. I know it wasn't a long nap, but it was needed badly. Once I thought I heard Edward's voice ask about me, but I know I must have been dreaming. Why would he pretend to care? When the bell rang for our next period, Alice woke me up.

"You should get sick more often. It brings distant husbands out of the woodwork," Alice said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, Edward nearly tripped on his own feet trying to get over here to check up on you," she said.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You needed the sleep."

"I needed Edward."

"You didn't need to appear desperate for Edward."

"I needed Edward," I said punching her arm.

"He needed to know he couldn't just walk back into your life. I told him Jasper and I are taking good care of you, that he doesn't have to worry about you."

"I needed Edward," I punched her in the arm again. "I don't care what I have to do to get him back."

I walked up to my locker, and Edward was waiting on me.

"I'm sorry about in government. I didn't mean to get us in trouble," he said.

"I'm the one who didn't watch. I'm sorry." I said.

"Well, at least he didn't read it to the class," he said.

"You could've. We're out at this point, aren't we?" I asked.

"Yeah, but it's our business, Bella. When are you gonna get that through your thick skull. Just…nevermind," he said, and he walked off. I followed him to our next period class. I took my seat next to him.

I leaned over to talk to him, but he didn't meet me halfway. I looked at him, and he didn't meet my gaze. I just settled back into my seat. We were back to not speaking. Wow. We spoke for all of ten minutes. I'm just so good. Next time I'll go for fifteen. Yay, me!

Class was monotonous, but I paid attention. I actually took notes. When class was over, Edward gathered up his things. I leaned over to him. "Are you still going with me to my appointment?"

"Yes," he said. We walked together to the office and checked out for a doctor's appointment.

We walked together to the car. Edward drove us to the office, and I signed in. Dr. Bush's nurse called me back relatively quickly, and I didn't have to face all of the stares that I was getting used to while I was waiting in the reception area. She took my vital signs and had me pee in a cup, and then she took me to the ultrasound room in the back of the building. There, the technician had me get into one of the gowns, and she performed the ultrasound. We were at eight weeks plus three days gestation and doing well. Edward was excited to hear the heart beat on the machine. Dr. Bush told us we were too early to catch the heartbeat on our Doppler machine. I was crushed because I'd hoped the thought of the Doppler would bring Edward back home. It would be another two weeks before our baby would be big enough to pick up its heartbeats at home. I couldn't live alone for another two weeks. Edward had to move back before then.

When Dr. Bush told us the ultrasound looked good, I felt the relief wash over Edward. So, he did care about this baby. Alice was right about that. I was glad he at least had feelings for our baby, if not for me. I knew our baby would always have his love, even if I didn't anymore. I couldn't help the tears that escaped my eyes.

"What's wrong, Bella? Are you hurting?" Edward asked as I was getting dressed.

"No, not physically, anyway. I'm just so glad you're gonna be here for the baby. I wasn't sure you loved it," I said.

"Of course I love it. I love you, too. I just still need time by myself," he said. "I need time to work through my thoughts. I want us to work out, and me being mad at you every time I see you isn't gonna work, Bella. We need times like these when we can see each other and not fight. We need times when we can be alone together and not blow up at each other."

"Then this is a good start. Would you like to come over and do our homework together?" I asked. "I could make you some supper. I know you couldn't have been eating good."

"Not tonight. I have too much to do. I have to do my laundry and . . ."

"Bring it. You don't have laundry facilities at that hotel, do you?"

"No, but I'm not gonna move out, and then come back and take advantage of you. I'm the one who moved out. I'll go to a laundry mat, and I'll get take out. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," he said.

"But don't you see? I wanna worry about you. You're my husband, and I love you. I want you back home, and if it takes doing your laundry and making you a meal to get you home for just one night, then I'm more than willing," I said.

"That's just it, Bella, I wouldn't be coming home. I would be visiting at best. I would have no intention of staying the night," he said.

"Oh, well, then, just for the visit, then. I could handle that. Just for the visit," I said.

"No expectations?" he asked.

"None. I'll just make some supper, and I'll do your laundry while we do homework. It'll be good. You'll see," I said, "Please."

"All right. We'll try it. We have to try it sometime. I'll be over after my shower, okay?" he asked.

"Great. I'll have supper ready. What do you want?" I asked.

"Whatever you make is fine by me," he said. "Don't go to any trouble."

We walked out of the office after paying for the ultrasound and the visit. Then we walked back to the car. He dropped me off by the house, and then he went back to football practice. I went inside and started cleaning the house. I wanted it to be spotless when he came over, and I hadn't cleaned it since he'd left. Then I went into the kitchen and pulled out some pork chops to thaw. It was one of his favorite meals, and I wanted everything to be good for him.

I timed everything to be ready about thirty minutes after we would normally get home. He wasn't but about ten minutes later than that. He brought in his bag of dirty clothes, and put it into the laundry room. I immediately went in and sorted out the clothes, putting in a load of lights. Then I came back into the kitchen and put supper on the table.

"Pork chops. I told you not to go to any trouble," he said.

"It wasn't any trouble, and I know you like them," I said.

"Well, thank you. They're awesome," he said, taking a bite.

"You're welcome."

We ate in companionable silence. When we were finished, he helped me with the dishes, and we knocked them out in no time. It was nice to be working together again. By then, his whites were done, and I went to put them in the dryer and started a load of darks. He met me in the doorway of the laundry room, and, when I turned around from the washer, he was standing behind me. He took me into his arms, and I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around him. He leaned over and rested his chin on the top of my head. I didn't wanna do anything to upset his mood, so I stood there until he withdrew from the embrace.

"Come on, we've got homework to do," he said, his voice kind of rough.

"Yeah," I agreed. I took his hand, and he let me have it. I led him back through the house to our bedroom where we always did our homework. He hesitated before we went inside. "Well, come on in. I won't bite. Much."

He laughed and went to his desk. He started pulling out his books, and looking around the room, he finally sat down. "Starting with calculus?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, taking out my calculus book.

We worked for several hours. It felt good to have him back, to go over things with…to talk to him. At some point during our homework, I got up and changed out his laundry again. I folded his whites and put his darks on to dry. He told me thank you because he'd forgotten all about it. When the dryer went off again, I went to finish his laundry. He again followed me to the laundry room. I got everything folded for him, and I put everything into a clean bag for him to take with him. He thanked me again, and that time he wrapped me in his arms. I turned to face him, and returned the hug. I laid my head onto his chest, and he stroked my hair. I turned my face to look up at him, and he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. I held my breath, and he leaned down farther, and he kissed me on the lips. I returned the kiss, although it was chaste, and his hand cupped the back of my head. We stood there several minutes, just kissing, chastely, and with me not making a move. When he broke the kiss, he was nervous. He was stammering, and his cheeks were reddened.

"Why are you embarrassed?" I asked.

"I told myself I wasn't gonna do that," he said.

"Why not? We are married. We're allowed to kiss, and we do love each other. It's okay. No one is gonna get mad at us for a little kiss. In fact, they would all probably jump for joy," I said.

"That's why, Bella." He pulled back and turned away from me.

"Oh, No, Edward. I don't plan on telling anyone anything. I swear it. They don't even know you're over tonight. Nobody does. I swear it. Just you and me know what's going on, and I don't plan on telling anyone else. I promise."

"You haven't told anyone I was coming over tonight?"

"No, no one. I swear it. And I wasn't planning on it. It's our business, right?"

"Right." He turned back towards me and took me back into his arms. "Bella, I don't like our business being spread all over kingdom come. It's up to us to work this out, not anyone else. You and me, Bella."

"I can accept that, Edward, as long as we work on it. You staying at the hotel isn't us working on it. I want you to move back here so we can begin again."

"I'm not ready, yet. I still have a lot to think about. Maybe I could come over again to do homework tomorrow night?"

"Yes, that would be great. I wish you would consider staying."

"Don't push this, Bella, or I won't come back."

"Okay. I just want you to know one thing. Your baby and I need you, Edward."

"I know that, and I'm working on it. I'm working on trusting you again, Bella. Until I do, however, I can't live here."

"Okay. I'll see you in the morning. Drive safely."

"Yeah, I will. I'll see you in the morning." He gathered his clothes and walked out the front door. I heard the car start up, and he backed out of the driveway. I heard him pull out into the street, and I fell back against the door. It was a good night, though it ended too soon. I hated the fact he'd left again, but at least he'd kissed me. That was progress, wasn't it?