Chapter Eleven:
Grissom followed her trying to assess her reaction to the farm house.
He knew there was still a lot of work left to do but he felt she would like living away from the harsh lights of Vegas where everything seemed fake.
Her facial expressions gave little hint as she went from room to room.
He fumbled over his words as he tried to express himself to her without grabbing her into his arms which was something he had wanted to do the moment they finally arrived.
He'd dreamed of living in a place like this, raising a family and doing research.
As the years passed and he grew older, he let go of his dream of a family but there was still the thought that some day he would retire to the farm.
It was the reason he allowed a local farmer to use part of the land in exchange for keeping up the house and barn.
The house was old but it was in good condition.
True, the inside had been neglected but nothing that a good scrubbing wouldn't fix.
There was plenty of life still left in the farm.
At least part of his dream was obtainable.
After he married Sara, he was going to reconsider the entire dream but then Natalie took that away from him.
Sara fled and he remained in the townhouse, not bearing to leave the last place she had ever called home.
He watched as her fingers traced the carvings on the stairwell, her eyes roaming to the top of the banister.
"It's a mess upstairs," he warned.
Her knee hurt and she hated the crutch, already wanting to toss it away but he kept retrieving it for her.
She appeared quite fragile as she moved from room to room, not sure of her surroundings.
She glanced through the windows a few times, not sure what to make of the privacy.
He wasn't sure himself, afraid she would not like it.
He didn't know what to think when she did not want to choose a bedroom.
Does she hate both of them?
Does she prefer to have a room of her own?
Does she think that I want to spend another night without her by my side?
It had been such a long time since he'd been with her and he couldn't think of anything else.
Each kiss was excruciating, not sure whether she was giving in because she felt trapped or that she wanted it as much as he did.
His body reacted to every touch and already he felt an instant erection at the thought of having her in his bed that night.
"I'll let you rest for awhile," he said as he went to the back of the house, not wanting to embarrass himself acting like some nerdish teenage boy being left alone with a girl for the first time.
She's still recovering…
She can't even voice what she wants…
But if she could…
Would she still want me?
She hobbled over to watch him sit down on the back porch.
There was a small patch in the back yard where a flower garden used to be. A few were still there but the rest was covered in weeds.
The place had a lot of potential but Sara knew that she would have to find a job soon.
There would be utilities and food to buy.
She wasn't going to ask Grissom or expect him to support her.
She felt weary at that moment.
It had been a long stressful day.
She hobbled back to the bedroom and stretched out, relieving her aching muscles.
Her eyes shifted toward the study across the room.
She imagined what it would have been like to be young and married with a newborn across the hall.
She would have been able to hear the baby immediately, walking across the hall into the baby's room and then stepping into the kitchen for a bottle.
The bathroom was off to the left so there would have been opportunity to soak in the tub while the baby slept.
She sighed.
Grissom had decided years ago that a baby was not in their plans.
Grissom was much older than she and he did not want to start a family so late in life, voicing his desire to remain a couple.
Despite her harsh upbringing, Sara had longed for a family.
Her need and desire never went away leaving a void.
As the years slipped by, she regretted her choice, thinking of what a child would have meant to them, to her especially.
Her eyes drifted shut.
Hours later she woke to the sound of soft music.
She hobbled into the living room to find Grissom hanging drapes.
"Did the music wake you?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"Dinner is almost ready," he announced.
She turned and hobbled to the kitchen.
"Sara…the crutch," he scolded softly.
He pulled out a chair and waited until she sat down.
He set the small table in the kitchen and poured a glass of wine.
He then set a glass of grape juice in front of her.
"Sorry…but you can't drink…with your medication," he explained.
He took a sip of wine and then turned his back to check the meal.
She swallowed some of the grape juice.
It tasted bitter but then again wine usually tasted that way to her so it didn't matter.
Despite the nap, she was tired.
He dispensed her medicine and she took it.
She knew the pain medication was most likely the culprit for the drowsiness.
It was already dark outside and thus there was no way to explore her surroundings.
She offered to help with dishes but he refused.
She backed away when he pulled out the Scrabble game.
"Let's play a game," he offered.
She licked her lips and then shook her head.
He frowned, putting the game away but then brought out a Sudoku book tossing it towards her.
"You used to finish several puzzles before I could finish my crossword puzzle," he said with a grin.
He sat down while she stood there, her fingers fumbling with the book.
She slid the book back to him.
"Okay…you take the crossword puzzle and I'll…."
She tried to slip out of the room but he caught her. "Try some Sudoku," he urged.
I'm not falling for this, Grissom.
You want to see if I'm still smart…
She was tempted but then the fear was too great and she refused.
He sighed letting her escape.
She found the bathroom and took a shower.
The wound was healing nicely but she kept it bandaged to hide the hideous scar.
She slipped back into the bed and faced the window.
There was little she could make out, except the branches of a tree nearby.
The wind had picked up and she wondered if rain was in the forecast.
"There's a pain in my sawdust."
She rose immediately, her heart beating wildly as she listened for any sound within the house but there was none.
She didn't know if she had fallen asleep or how much time had lapsed since she retreated to the bedroom.
The stillness in the house frightened her.
A gush of wind caused the branches to strike against the house.
It was windy the night Natalie…
He's left already…
She started to get out of bed but then a hand reached out and pushed her back down.
"It's just the wind, Sara," Grissom whispered.
Her eyes widened and she could finally make out the shape of his body lying on the other side of the bed.
She was surprised he was there in her room.
His hand caressed her cheek. "You'll get used to the silence," he yawned. "In the morning I'll show you around. Once you get settled then…I can…" his voice trailed off as he reached for his phone.
"Grissom."
He rose from the bed, stepping out of the room.
Even with him in the living room, she could still hear his voice, the walls thin.
"I'm fine. I'm getting her settled. It may be a week or so before she gets used to being here. I can't leave her alone. I know I didn't plan this…I'll have a decision soon."
He didn't return for quite some time. She heard footsteps toward the kitchen followed by the shutting of the back porch screen door.
His phone rang once more and he answered it.
"No…you didn't wake me. I was just about to turn in," he stated.
"How is she?" asked Heather.
"Fine."
"Gil…I know this must be excruciating for you…to have her so close and yet not be able to have her…." She purposely stopped and then drove her point right into his gut. "To have sex with her would be like having sex with…a child…especially since you're not sure just how extensive the brain damage is…it's a pity she refuses to cooperate with any testing…"
"Heather, I'm really tired. Good night."
"I'm sorry Gil. This was inconsiderate of me. Get some rest. Let me know if there is anything I can do. I don't mind running errands for you…just let me know."
Sara slipped out of bed and grabbed her housecoat to cover the thin gown.
He turned and saw her silhouette.
"There's a nice cool breeze this evening," he whispered. "The stars seem so much clearer out here than in Vegas."
His voice was odd, almost shaky.
She hobbled over and sat down on the porch.
The stars did look brighter.
He glanced over at her as she stared up into the nighttime sky.
The wind blew through the branches.
"I'm sorry…for the phone call."
Was it Heather?
She took a deep breath, frustrated that she could not communicate with him.
"Sara…have you tried to talk?" he asked. "Your counselor says you refuse to participate in speech therapy."
What did he expect her to say?
She looked at him and then nodded, hoping he would understand that she had tried.
She had tried until she had thrown things in a sort of tantrum.
Sara had always been able to express herself.
It had been Grissom who was at a loss with words.
Now, he seemed to talk even when she wished he would remain quiet and enjoy the peacefulness of the place.
"You need to communicate," he began. "If you won't…can't talk then…perhaps…sign language."
Sara's brain stuck on the word "won't" and she pulled herself up, hobbling back toward the door.
His hand grabbed hers.
"You refuse…to let them assess…the brain damage. How can we know…"
She jerked her hand from his.
Are you feeling guilty for leaving me?
Does your Catholic upbringing frown on men who abandon their wives when they've been damaged and can't be fixed?
Are you just afraid as me that I'm not…as smart as you anymore?
"Night," he said dejectedly.
She headed toward the bedroom but noticed a stack of books.
She grabbed a Sudoku book and tucked it underneath the mattress.
An hour later he joined her in the bed.
Ecklie was now calling practically every day, needing to know if he intended to return to the lab.
He'd managed to put him off citing the need to be with Sara but he knew that sooner or later he would have to decide.
At the moment, the lab was the last thing on his mind, his thoughts too filled with Sara.
He worried about the brain damage and how Sara would cope with her disability.
He was so grateful she was alive.
He felt they had wasted so much time in the last two years.
He scooted over taking more than his share of the bed.
She inched until she was teetering on the edge.
One more inch she would surely slip into the floor.
Strong arms reached over and pulled her into the middle of the bed.
"Sara…be still," he said irritably as if he were correcting a child.
It was her bed.
He'd given her the room when she gave him the choice.
He'd put her things into the room.
Does he think that I'm not capable of sleeping alone?
And then it hit her.
He'd chosen the room for them.
She turned to face him, noticing how he was already fast asleep even though it wasn't restful.
Slowly she inched toward him until she curled into his arms, letting her head rest on his chest like she'd done a thousand times before but this time it was different.
She felt as though she was borrowing him.
Note from author:
Ouch...sad for Sara...but now we know where Grissom's heart is...now if we could just get rid of Heather...LOL. Some of you have some very funny ideas of how to get rid of her. Thanks to each of you who have been so kind to leave a review for each chapter. It means alot...it also determines my future postings.
Take care!