LordAce: I'm gonna shut up this time around, and just get back to the action, when we last saw everyone, they were all enjoying a fatal four way hell in the cell match fearturing Simon Belmont, Adam Blade, Zaraki Kenpachi, and Reinhardt Schnider. We now return to said action
Soma, I swear to God...(Part 2)
"Man! A chair to the head? Who even put those there?" Haruhi asked aloud from the announcers table.
"Those items were placed there by Kyon and the others as per your orders." Yuki replied blankly.
"Err...that didn't really require a response..." Haruhi pointed out quietly, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"This fight's gotten pretty intense..." Nathan muttered from his seat, apparently after the initial 'what the hell is going on here?' talks, everyone settled into seats. Nathan lucked out and got a front row seat, where he was enjoying a nice cold pepsi and a hot dog.
"No kidding, though I really wish that things did not turn out this way." Juste muttered from beside him, still annoyed that his tour went so sour.
"Relax, just enjoy the carnage. This is better than walking around all day, right?"
"I suppose so." The two went back and forth while in the ring, Blade decided to go to the top rope. He then did a back flip, landing right on Schnider, and soon, the both of them were on the ground.
"DAMN!" The crowd shouted before cheering like crazy. Nathan looked around to see how many people were there. Unsurprisingly, the place was pretty packed, when you gather 4 of the biggest baddasses in badassery and pit them in a free for all fight, people are gonna show up. He also caught sight of vice president Alucard, who was going around taking bets, trying to get a bit of side action himself.
"Hey, why do you think vice pres is so...obsessed with money?" Nathan asked.
"I thought it was obvious?" Juste replied.
"No, he never said anything."
"Well, it's because of that ring he's wearing. It's called a miser ring, the more money one possesses, the stronger it's wearer becomes." Juste explained as Nathan made a mental note to see if he could order one from Amazon or Ebay. Nathan also caught sight of F.T.L selling hot dogs in the stand, though it seemed he was getting into it with a rowdy customer.
"Sir, we do NOT put chocolate syrup on hot dogs, how many times do I have to explain it?" He muttered, eyes already twitching.
"Oh man, Juste, check this out." He gestured over to the young man, who was now dead up in the rowdy customer's face.
"Listen, kind sir, if you don't cease your incessant whining right now you WILL wake up in lab restrained to a table with your precious chocolate covered hot dogs coming out f your ears. Not 'going into your ears' but 'coming out of your ears', meaning I would have put them into your head to begin with somehow. Do you want that?" F.T.L explained with a disturbingly calm attitude.
"...Damn." Juste muttered as he turned back to the fight. Kenpachi just picked up Blade by his choker and threw him into Simon, only to be kicked in the head by Schnider.
"Oh wow! Talk about brutal! I wouldn't be surprised if-" Haruhi began to announce, but when Kenpachi got back up, she got quiet...pretty much in awe of how much damage this guy could take. Yuki, however, kept her usual emotionless demeanor.
"At this rate, they'll never get finished!" Nathan yelled, despite the fact that he was enjoying the impromptu match, they still had a show to do...and paychecks to earn!
"You have to wonder how long these guys can keep this up!" Haruhi said, almost jumping over her table. At that moment, almost as if something had jinxed the whole thing, all four men went for the spear maneuver. But when four big guys run at each other with their heads lowered...it doesn't usually end well for anyone involved.
-KLUNK!-
...All four men went to the ground, not moving at all. Hector, the ref for this little match up, took a few seconds to do his signature 'wannabe Rick James laugh', before starting the count.
"1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! That was...COLD-BLOODED! Hahaha!" Hector shouted before calling for the bell.
"This match has been declared a four way tie, if you placed any bets, you can retrieve your money from Vice President Alucard. He is currently trying to sneak out from the lower right staircase, as you can see." Yuki explained nonchalantly and pointed to the giant screen, where Alucard was sneaking out with a bag of money...or at least, tried to before a crowd of people jumped him (Including F.T.L, who had his money on Simon.)
"(...Yuki...you'll pay...)" Alucard muttered as he ran from the impending crowd.
"Well this was fun, I'm going to head off with the group again while Kenpachi recovers." Juste explained as he gathered the rest of his tour group.
"I'll tag along, the class ended early so I'm free until the show, do you mind?" Nathan asked.
"Not at all, we were about to go check up on Leon and Soma, though after that we'll have to head straight for the Chapel, this fight took up quite a bit of time." Juste replied, leading everyone towards the waterways. When they got there, neither Nathan nor Juste were too surprised to see what they saw.
-CLUNK!-
-DING!-
-SPLASH!-
"Argh! Leon, can you stop already?" Soma growled as he crawled back onto the platform for the dunk tank.
"What? Don't stop? Okay~!" Leon sang as he hit the dunk button again.
-CLUNK!-
-DING!-
-SPLASH!-
"Leon...what did Julius tell you?" Nathan sighed as he shook his head at the display.
"He said to have fun as long as Soma doesn't get sick, well Soma isn't siick, is he?" Leon responded as he moved to hit the button again.
"Aren't the customers supposed to do that?" Juste asked as he pulled Leon away.
"...I suppose, would any of you like to try?" Leon asked the tour group.
"I guess I can." Guy replied, paying the usual 3 bucks.
"3 dollars, ten shots!" Leon announced.
"I thought it was three?" Soma cried.
"Not today it isn't!" Leon replied with a smile on his face. While Soma was crying (though you couldn't really tell, he was soaked to the bone), Cress picked up Soma's Mina doll, which was sitting on the table.
"This is a cute little doll, hey...there's a string coming out of it. Wonder what it says...?" He asked as he pulled the string.
"Soma! Soma! Soma!" The dolly said as Guy jumped up and threw the ball straight in the air.
"Hey! Don't touch my do-" Soma yelled as the ball fell into the cage and hit him over the head, knocking him into the water.
"Welcome to YouTube." Izaya smirked as he put his camera phone away.
"...You're kind of creepy, you know that...? ...Let me see that." Leon said as he and Cress gathered around Izaya. Guy was still in a traumatized state, so he was going fetal position while rocking back and forth.
"...This has to be one of the weirdest groups I've ever seen." Nathan muttered, with Juste nodding in agreement.
"Attention, everyone in the park and ESPECIALLY members of the Castlevania Badass Protagonist Club! The show is about to begin, please make your way to the Dark Chapel!" Haruhi shouted over the loudspeaker, Nathan, Leon, and Juste all stared at each other, they would have to run mad fast to get there on time. Soma would have been worried, had he not been unconscious at the time.
"Crap, we better get going, sorry, but this ends the tour." Juste told the group as he, Leon, and Nathan picked up Soma and began to run like crazy towards the dark chapel.
"...So does this mean we can do whatever we like now?" Lelouch asked.
"I guess so...shouldn't someone help Guy?" Cress pointed out.
"No, this is an interesting reaction." Izaya said with a creepy tone in his voice, recording the blonde swordsman on his phone.
"...This guy...is scary..." Lelouch and Cress sighed as they waited for Guy to stop spazzing out.
Meanwhile, at the club; Nathan, Leon, and Juste were rushing towards the dark chapel while carrying Soma.
"And we're...safe!" Nathan shouted as they made it backstage just in time for the show to start. Simon would have reprimanded them for cutting it so close, but he was holding an icepack to his head, so he let it slide. Alucard would have done it as well, but he was still sore from being robbed earlier. (He considered people taking their money back as a robbery, seeing as how the park had a no refund policy.)
"Hello , and welcome to the C.B.P.C show, I'm your ultra cool hostess, Haruhi Suzumiya!" Haruhi said happily as the crowd applauded.
"Today we have a returning guest, but first...Juste Belmont and Jonathan Morris! Please come out to the stage!" She said as Juste and Jonathan made their way on stage, and after the fangirls were done screaming, Haruhi started on with her question.
"VladCT, one of our star reviewers, has a question concerning a weapon that you got from your friend, Wind." Haruhi explained as Jonathan began scratching his head, he got a lot of things from Wind, so he had to wrack his brain for a while.
"It's about the stellar sword, do you have it with you, Jonathan?" She asked as Jonathan pulled it out of his jacket.
"Right here, what about it?" He asked. Haruhi gestured for Kyon to turn down the lights. She then pulled out a flashlight, and shined it against her face so that she looked like one of those creepy storytellers. Jonathan and Juste gulped before she continued.
"Today...from beyond the grave...we have a very special guest (ooh, scary scary...), WIND!" Haruhi said in her best scary story voice as a ghostly whirlwind happened, when it died down, the ghost known as Wind was standing there.
"Mr. Wind, may I ask why you had the stellar sword, when it belonged to Juste's so-called-friend Maxim?" Haruhi asked, back to her normal(?) perky self.
"Oh, he sold it to me for magic beans...what an idiot..." Wind said as some cool harmonica music played as he spoke. Nathan turned to the audience to find Kalin (Kiryu) Kessler in the audience, playing his signature harmonica. He thought to go in there and tell him to keep it down, but his playing added ambiance to the meeting, so he let it go.
"And I want my sword back, believe it!" Everyone groaned as Maxim ninja-ed his way on stage. Juste, however, was surprisingly calm.
"Whoa, I earned this fair and square!" Jonathan yelled as he put the stellar sword away.
"I got ripped off, those magic beans didn't make Lyide like me at all!" Juste laughed under his breath, to think this guy was as stupid as he thought. Not to mention he didn't have Soma's RPG anymore, so he decided to just sit back.
"Hey, you were the idiot who asked if I had any magical items that would make a girl like you, and you said you would give me your sword for such an item. Didn't you read the warning on the can?" Wind asked, pointing to the can Maxim had in his hand. It read 'Magic beans, makes your wishes concerning your best friend's girlfriend come true...results may vary.'
"Look, a real ninja like myself needs a sword like that, it's stellar!" Maxim said in a corny voice. At that moment, another whirlwind appeared behind Maxim. When it died down, a REAL ninja appeared on set. Ryu Hayabusa, a REAL MUTHAF***ING NINJA, took one look at Maxim, and backhanded him so hard he flew through a wall. He then walked over to Juste, who handed him a $50 bill, then disappeared in the same manner he appeared.
"That took less effort on my part." Juste explained when everyone stared at him.
"Umm, I think that's it for today! Now-"
"Simon Belmont! I want a rematch!" Kenpachi burst on stage before Haruhi could end the show. Simon took one look at the man before standing up.
…
…
…
"And welcome to the C.B.P.C omake segment! I'm Haruhi!" Haruhi squealed.
"And I'm Nathan!" Nathan said happily from beside her.
"An what do we have on the schedule for today, wonderful hostess?" Nathan asked.
"I'm glad you asked, awesome club member! Today, it looks like Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of squad 11, has challenged the club president to a one on one rematch. After the fight earlier, there was no clear winner, and because Blade and Schnider are still recovering we have a grudge match on our hands." Haruhi explained as a giant screen showed Simon and Kenpachi throwing punch after punch at each other. Alucard was also seen, taking bets once again, this time wearing a bad casino outfit.
"Do you think vice pres will finally get his payoff?" Nathan asked as he tried to avoid laughing at Alucard's outfit.
"With those clothes on and his bad luck? I seriously doubt it..." Haruhi laughed, not even trying to hold it in. Almost on cue, Yachiru jumped on Alucard, mistaking him for a Byakuya with blonde hair. For some reason, she thought his hair looked tasty like lemon flavored cotton candy, and began to bite on his head.
"Agh! That hurts!"
"Quiet! Bad candy!" Yachiru replied, chomping down on his head even more as the screen faded to black.
"I get the feeling the vice pres is gonna need an ice pack after this..." Nathan muttered, wincing at the audio that was still coming from the screen.
"I think so too, well tune in next week, folks! Have a good weekend!" Haruhi exclaimed happily as she waved at the camera. Nathan followed suit before the camera itself shut off.
LordAce: Part 2, as promised!
Nathan: Damn, poor vice pres...
LordAce: It's not my fault he's so cheap! Don't look at me like that!
Nathan: Sure, it's not...
LordAce: Anyway, thank you to Foretoldlegends, Satanic Park of Madness, and VladCT for once again, reviewing. Personally, I'm glad Maxim had the taste smacked out of his mouth. Especially to VladCT for guessing on the little contest we have going right now. I can't tell anyone if you were right or wrong yet, I'll announce that next week.
Nathan: You seem kind of tired, what's up?
LordAce: Meh, lack of sleep for some reason, probably nothing. Thanks for the concern though.
Nathan: Oh, I was just wondering because you're the one who signs the paychecks.
LordAce: In the words of Hector and Rick James...'That was COLD-BLOODED!'
Nathan: Still, that match was fun to watch.
LordAce: I bet it was, on an unrelated note, I have two questions concerning Yu-Gi-Oh and Bleach. First off, did anyone see that they're reprinting Legenday Shien alongside the six sam structure deck coming out? At this rate you can just buy a complete six sam deck, it's crazy! Second, for any bleach fans, is Kira dead? He got kind of messed up in the manga, but those guys are resiliant. But keeping that in mind, that was quite the injury, could someone clear that up for me? I'd really appreciate it.
Nathan:...I freaking hate Six Samurais...
LordAce:...Me too, guess I better look up ways to kill them, anyway. I hope you enjoyed this two part chapter as much as I did writing it! See you all next week!