Disclaimer: I don't own the awesomeness that is the Ninja Turtles. How sad…
Warning for this chapter: A bit of sorta non-con.
Author's Note: Takes place about 3 weeks after "Stalking the Vigilante" and "A Nice Ass". This one takes place directly in the 2007 Movie-Verse. Everyone remember that fight Raph and Don had after Mikey came home from the Birthday-gig? It's just a few hours after that.
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We Need to Talk
By: Melissa the Damgel
3 weeks later
Returning from work typically felt like the burden for the day melted from his shoulders and made him feel like nothing in the world could touch him now that he was ten seconds away from pizza and another exciting episode of the nine o'clock news. But for Mikey as he stood outside of their lair's secret entrance with his hand resting on the third pipe to the left, he felt like another weight had suddenly been added to his load. He frowned at the vague sounds of shouting from the other side of the brick and steel reinforced doorway. His brows knitted tightly together before he bolstered himself up and tugged on the pipe, opening the doors and hurrying inside.
Raphael and Donatello had just had a fight earlier that morning after he had gotten home from a birthday party; and yet, here they were again, fighting after he was getting home from another birthday party. It seemed like that it was all they did these days – fight and yell at each other. He really hoped this sort of stuff would end as soon as Leo returned home.
At least their argument hadn't come to blows yet – then again, that would be rather difficult seeing how Raph was on one side of the lair and Donnie was on the other and they were screaming at each other from across the room.
"Welcome home." He mumbled to himself as he surveyed the damage from up above.
"I never asked you to be my mother!" Raphael bellowed, throwing an arm into the air.
"I probably would have drowned you by now if you were my kid! I'm not trying to be 'mommy' I'm just trying to do what is best for the team!"
"And I'm screwin' it up, is that it? You want to look all clean and perfect for Leo when he gets back so ya can tell him everything went fine?" he scowled and shook his head, "Leo ain't comin' back! He hasn't contacted us in over a year, Donnie. What was yer first tip-off that he ditched us?"
"He didn't ditch us." Mikey said, standing at the top of the stairs staring down at his brothers.
"Mikey…" Donnie straightened looking vaguely shocked that his baby brother had heard all of that.
Raph turned on him – he didn't care, equal yelling rights to all! "Yes he did. Look around ya Mikey, you see Leo anywhere? You see any letters he's sent us dated after September of last year? No! He's gone!"
"Raph…" Don started, his dark eyes flicking up to Mikey then back to Raphael with desperation etching into his face as he carefully walked towards him.
"He left! Who wouldn't want ta leave this messed up place? Livin' in sewers, gettin' fat on junk food because we can't leave this stinkin' hole, and we get paid in birthday money no less. This life sure is fantastic!" He snarled, "We've been grounded for two years while Leo is off gallivantin' around the world. Yeah, real fair, leavin' us all behind because of some stupid, selfish-"
"Raphael!" Donatello screamed, his hands fisted and shaking at his sides.
Raphael glared and turned fiery eyes to Donatello, zoning back in on the reason for his rage in the first place. "What? You don't like hearing the truth? Well you've never been very good at acceptin' how other people feel." He hissed and stalked across the lair. He slowed once he was no more than a yard from the other and he inched closer step by step, smoldering eyes locked on Don's determined face. "You're always hidin' away instead a' fightin' for what you want." He shook his head, his face twisting up in a scowl that forced Donatello to look away and bow his head as he quavered and clenched his jaw.
"It's so pathetic." Raph continued, leaning forward ever so slightly. "You're depressed 'cause Leo's gone but ya won't do anything about it. You're hidin' away, playin' with yer toys when there's stuff we could be doin' up top. We shouldn't have ta put our lives – an' the lives of the innocent people up there – on hold 'cause of that bastard leavin'!"
"You need to shut up Raph." Donnie whispered in a tight and forced voice.
"Are ya goin' ta stop me?" He asked with a growl, bending forward slightly to glare right into his face as he spread his arms, practically begging him to start something.
Donatello glanced to Michelangelo then back to Raph and just stared at him. The muscles in his arms, neck and shoulders trembled in anger, but he stayed silent, just staring into those intense amber eyes.
Rolling his eyes and snorting when nothing happened, Raphael straightened, "Didn't think so. I can't believe ya guys. You're all chicken." He then leveled a look on Donatello and moved closer till Don took a reflexive step backwards as Raphael pushed into his personal space. "I'm sick of waitin'." He whispered. There was a note of resentment in his voice; but there was a larger amount of exhaustion, and even hurt; that fell from his lips before he could stop their escape.
The purple clad turtle twitched and knitted his brows together. His lips parted and his lungs couldn't seem to draw in enough air as the double meaning lanced through him and speared his heart. Donatello's hands slackened at his sides and he looked away from his brother after that, backing down till he was nothing more than a submissive turtle being battered away by Raphael's words.
"I'm tired of waiting!" Raph shouted louder over his shoulder with his eyes still on Donnie, his gut twisting as he watched him deflate. "Are we really just goin' ta lay around waitin' for Leonardo to waltz back in? He ain't comin' ba-" He turned and glanced up to Mikey for the first time since he had zeroed in on Don, and his words stopped short. He hadn't seen Mikey cry for a long time. The last two years to be exact.
Donatello stared at his hands for some time. He only closed his eyes after his body began trembling once feeling began to seep back into his limps and force him to feel the hurt that chipped away at his heart. "I thought you said you'd wait forever…" He whispered, not daring to look up at him.
Raphael watched the fat tears roll down Michelangelo's face while he glared down at him, but Donnie's whispered words forced him to finally lower his eyes and allow the guilt to claim him. "I…" He sighed and his shoulders fell as defeat bowed his head. "Who knew ten years would be so long." He breathed and the words felt like lead tumbling from his mouth.
Twisting his face up in anguish the moment those words left Raphael's lips. Donatello stood still for only a heartbeat longer before he turned and silently left the main living area to disappear back into his lab without another word.
Grunting, Raphael lifted his hands to scrub his face then run his fingers over the top of his head, before he laced his fingers at his neck. He held them there for a moment before he dared to lift his eyes to gaze up at the glaring and crying Michelangelo. Raph tried to prepare himself for another yelling match; but he felt that premonition in the back of his mind that nothing would be simple for him today as readily as though he were in battle and could feel the katana slicing the air and aiming for his neck.
"What's wrong with you?" Michelangelo asked, staring down at him in a mixture of incredulousness and disappointment.
"Don't lay inta me too, Mikey. I ain't in the mood." Raph growled, dropping his arms to his sides and starting up the stairs to head to his room.
"No! I am and I don't care!" Mike screeched and jumped in front of his brother, shoving him to a stop with a determined hand to his plastron. "Why would you ever say that to Donnie?" he asked sharply, baby blues staring up at him desperately.
Raphael sighed and looked away as he took a step back so he could fold his arms over his chest, "Because it's true. Leo ain't comin'-"
"He's coming back!" Michelangelo physically shook as the scream erupted from his lips. More tears gathered in his eyes as he paused, trying to regain a bit of his control. When he finally did speak, his voice trembled and he sounded so weak; his shoulders even drooped. "He promised me he'd be back."
Wincing faintly, Raph continued to stare off to the side – he didn't mean to pour lemon juice over his baby bro's wounds; but what could he do? Keep hoping for something that wasn't going to happen? Leo left as far as he could tell, and he wasn't going to sugar coat the bastard's actions.
"And I wasn't talking about Leo." Michelangelo continued suddenly in a hushed whisper. He lifted wet blue eyes to his older brother's hard features once more, his fingers finally sliding away from Raph's chest to dangle listlessly at his side. "Why did you say that to Donnie? Why did you say he doesn't fight for what he wants?"
"What?" Raphael raised a brow, looking back at Mikey with a slightly twisted lip as he ran his thoughts back through his yelling – oh yeah, he remembered that now…
"Why did you say that?" Michelangelo bellowed suddenly, throwing his duffle bag away from his personage so he could focus glowering eyes solely on his older brother.
Raphael was slightly startled to say the least; Mikey looked ready to kill him. "Because, I… its-its tru-"
"Don't you dare say its true, Raphael! Because it isn't! He was on his hands and knees begging and crying for Splinter to let you two stay together!" he screamed with his whole body shaking as the words poured from him. "He did everything he could to talk him out of breaking you guys apart! He even kept you from being sent away to Japan! He cried and cried, and I all I could do was watch him die that day!" Michelangelo shrieked, his voice raw and braking with every word he spoke.
Raphael's face had lost all color – or at least as much color a green turtle could – after Mikey had said everything. Japan, Splinter, staying together…. He stared at his baby brother, his insides jumbling and his hands shaking as he realized his little brother knew. "What?" He swallowed hard and fumbled his question out weakly, "When…"
"I've known forever, Raph." Mike said, staring at his brother with a look of disappointment on his face. "I've known about you two since we were ten; and Donnie's done nothing but want to be with you. But you're too pigheaded to see that!"
"Me..?" Raph breathed then latched onto the anger – at least that he recognized and knew it would get him out of this paralysis he was in. "Well, what about him? If he wants to be with me, then why doesn't he just do it?" He roared, throwing an arm out behind him and pointing an accusingly finger towards where Don's lab was. "Because all I've heard for the last ten years is 'we can't' and I'm sick of it!"
"Think about it, Raph!" Mikey screeched, stepping closer and shoving his finger into his brother's chest, glaring right into his eyes. "Look what happened to Leo after Splinter found out about me and him! Sensei threatened to send you away to Japan if Don didn't agree to break it off with you; and he really did send Leo away because of me. Don's been trying to protect you ever since you guys got ratted out!"
Raphael scowled at his brother but it faded just as quickly and he stared off to the side as he began to fully absorb all of Michelangelo's words. "He really fought..?"
"He was groveling, dude. He was practically laying on the floor begging." Michelangelo's voice grew softer while his hands uncurled from their fists. "He told Splinter that he really loved you and that he wanted to marry you. He said you told him it wasn't wrong… and I think he believed that more than Splinter telling him it was." Mikey sighed and his shoulders slumped suddenly. "He wants you more than you'll ever know. He even did tests to see if we're brothers just because he wanted some hope!"
Mikey looked away, letting the silence settle between them, but two seconds later, Michelangelo pulled a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as he once again went Mother Bear on Raph's ass in defense of his other brother. "But you just messed that up!" He snarled and shoved at Raphael's shoulder. "You had to go and break his heart! He probably won't even want to get out of bed now! He's been a zombie for the last ten years, and I think you just put the final stake through his heart!" Mike ranted, getting his monster movie lore mixed up and not really caring.
Raphael looked away, glancing down towards the lab, "He wouldn't want me now. It's probably for the best." He whispered and turned, looking back to Mikey.
Tears welled in the baby blue eyes as he stared at Raph, shaking his head, his voice choking up and catching in his throat. "You are such a jerk, you know that?" He couldn't even yell anymore. Michelangelo just squeezed his eyes shut and he stifled a sob before he turned, marching away to his room.
Snarling, Raphael looked away, his hands curling into fists as he listened to Mikey's door slam shut.
Yeah, he really made a mess of this.
On impulse, Raphael tore off to his room, throwing his door open and grabbing the duffle bag he hid in his closet and stomped back out in a fury, heading for the lair's main door. "I'm going out!" He bellowed, jerking on the lever to pull the doors open.
"Raphael."
Hissing, Raph shook his head, "Not now Sensei. This is a really bad time."
"No! You will stay and listen to your Master." The rat hit the ground with his cane and the sharp cracking sound stopped Raphael in his tracks. Splinter stared up at his son silently from the bottom steps, nodding once as he saw his son halt, even if he didn't turn around to face him. "Why have you allowed your feelings to pursue that which I forbade you so long ago?" he inquired, his bony hands gripping the top of his stick tightly.
It was the proverbial last straw. Raph threw his bag down and turned, glaring down at his father as he leaned on the railing. "You wanna know why? Simple answer is, 'cause I love him. He drives me crazy with all his techno-geek talk and his stupid habits; but that's what I like about him. He's intricate where I'm simple; an' he's careful where I'm brash. I love him and want to for a very, very long time.
"The more complicated answer: look at us." Raph sneered, holding his arms out from his body and glaring down at his Master tauntingly. "You really think we can be happy livin' down here, sneakin' around at night and doin' nothing but fight and train; an' we'll be content in life? We're too young for that, Sensei. We're mutated turtles! We have no one else ta turn too but each other! Everythin' we've ever experienced growin' up was with each other! It was bound ta happen sooner or later. Ya really thought we wouldn't look to each other ta fulfill that need ta love someone so deeply it drives us insane? We ain't goin' ta find someone topside that will love us forever. We're the only ones who see each other fer who an' what we are." He turned sharply and snatched up his bag, jerking the latch down.
"My son…"
"Father… I'd honestly rather you disown me just so I could be with Donnie." He said, peeking over one broad shoulder before he hurried out the door and into the sewers.
Closing his eyes to slowly absorb everything that had happened and everything he had heard and witnessed, Splinter calmly turned and silently walked across his home, his mind turned inwards as he carefully analyzed everything his sons had said as he made his way to his other son's lab. Not bothering to knock, Splinter opened the door and watched Donnie from where he sat at his worktable and staring down at his project. But he wasn't working actually; it appeared that he was doing nothing more than fidgeting with whatever his project was as he hiccupped now and then and wiped at his eyes.
Knitting his brows together and bowing his head, Splinter silently entered his son's room and maneuvered his way over to his workbench, standing by his side as he delicately placed a hand on Don's shoulder.
"Perhaps we should speak, Donatello."
Donnie stifled a sob as he squeezed his eyes shut and bowed his head, allowing his father to pull him closer and press his brow to his furry chest. Donnie turned in his chair and clung to Splinter, hiding against him while he simply cried, once again just a five year old child wanting his father to hold him close and momentarily chase the monsters away.
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He had made a real mess of everything. He knew it. There was no coming back from this screw up. Raphael stumbled into the lair, finishing off the last bottle of beer he had swindled from Casey and April's place before April had 'gently' shoved him out of the window and told him to walk home and sober up.
He really wasn't all that drunk, he had only been nursing the few beers he had had all night. He hadn't said a word about what was wrong as he and Casey had watched tv – he tried to remember what it was they had been watching… something about a western? Or maybe it was a World War II movie… he couldn't remember; all he could keep in mind was that betrayed look on Donnie's face as his eyes flickered in defeat before he turned and walked away. It had hurt…
And then Mikey, babbling and yelling at him; he had basically handed him his ass after ripping into him and telling him exactly why he was now the most loathsome bastard in all the world.
Raph threw his bag into his room, not in the mood to hide it away like he should have. He had intended to go up and do his Nightwatcher gig to work out some energy; but he found himself instead outside of April and Casey's window, rapping on the glass and grunting that he needed a drink.
The kitchen was the next place he consciously decided to go to. He pulled the fridge open then slammed it shut again when nothing caught his attention within that split second; so he moved to the sink to fill a glass up with water instead to hopefully cut off the hangover he might get in the morning. Taking a long, deep draught of water, Raphael gasped for breathe and set the glass down, leaning on the counter heavily as he bowed his head, just breathing and thinking over the crappy day he just had.
His eyes landed on Donnie's coffee mug – the Christmas one he had given him a few years back after the purple clad turtle had started consuming coffee like it was his life's mission to replace his blood count with caffeine. Donnie had gone all shy and smiled at him after he had handed him the gift; then he sarcastically asked him if it had been the last mug in the entire store due to the goofy reindeer and the cod-wearing elf. But he used that mug, and he used it all the time. Raphael picked it up gingerly and examined it. Granted, the design was horrible, but it had been the largest mug he had found. He had been thinking practicality at the time, not if it looked good or not. That was probably why he didn't notice the chip on the rim till after he had given it to him.
A noise behind him alerted Raph's hazy mind to the presence of another entering the room. He glanced over his shoulder then straightened quickly, staring directly at Donatello as he stood outside of the kitchen, just staring back at him.
Don shifted and looked away uneasily, rubbing his arm and blinking his eyes several times. They were swollen and red. Raph winced and looked back to the mug before he carefully set it down back into the sink.
"I-if you're drunk, I don't want to deal with you till tomorrow." Donnie said suddenly, shifting his weight from one foot then back to the other.
Raph shook his head, "Naw… not really drunk… just a buzz." He whispered; though in the silent lair, it felt like he had screamed it across the room.
Shrugging, Donatello looked anywhere but at Raph.
"Listen, Don-"
"We should go to bed… we'll talk tomorrow." He interrupted and turned, forgetting he had wanted a drink.
"Donnie…" Raphael breathed loudly, hurrying after him, "Donnie… wait." He hissed, reaching out for his elbow and curling his fingers around his wrist instead.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Donatello tugged his arm away and took a few quick steps away from him. "Don't… not… not tonight, Raph." His voice quavered and he hurried into his lab, nudging the door closed.
Reaching out to stop the door from shutting completely, Raphael paused and just stood outside the door, amber eyes staring down at the thin beam of light reaching out across the floor through the crack along the door frame. He hesitated a moment, but he eventually pushed the door open and stepped inside and his eyes immediately found Don bent slightly over one of his work tables and tinkering away at something.
"Donnie…"
"Just go away." The purple banded turtle whispered, his hands stilling on his project.
Raphael bristled and he moved into the room, stalking closer to his brother, "No." He growled low in his chest and slammed a hand down on the table to Don's right. Raph leaned heavily onto Donnie's carapace and whispered into his ear as he pressed his other hand onto the table to the left side of his body to trap him in place. "I'm never goin' away, ya know that? I ain't leavin' 'cause I promised I'd wait forever; and I will."
"You made it pretty clear-"
"Since when do you believe what I say in a fit of rage? Huh?" Raph hissed and lifted his hand, gripping his left elbow tightly as he leaned further into him. He couldn't help but smirk at the shiver Don had run down his spine, "I just wanted ta say I'm sorry. 'Kay?"
"Okay; can you go now?" Donatello asked, squeezing his eyes shut and focused solely on just inhaling in and out slowly without thinking about how shaky his legs felt, or how warm Raphael felt behind him….
Frowning at the curt words, Raph lowered his eyes and stared past Donnie's shoulder to his project resting on the table. "I didn't mean it…" he whispered, tilting his head just slightly to brush the edge of his brow to Donatello's temple.
"Ten years is a long time to wait… why are you still trying?" he questioned softly, bowing his head a bit more.
"Come on Don; do you even have to ask?" his fingers slackened their grip on his elbow, and his touch became almost delicate as his fingers moved down to his wrist in a tickling caress that dragged another shiver out f the body he was pressing closer too.
Donatello's brow knitted together and he tilted his head, leaning into Raph's voice as another tremble touched his spine. "Don't… Raphie…"
"You deserve to be happy too, Donnie-boy." He breathed, pressing his plastron to Donatello's shell tightly.
"Raphie…" Donnie's voice quavered and he shook his head faintly. "We ca-"
"Don't say it." Raphael hissed and tightened his fingers over Don's wrist. "We can. We should. You did the test, we ain't related, right?" He shifted against him, and suddenly anger jumped into his chest as he reminded himself about those blood tests. Raph pushed him harder into the table and forced a loud gasp from Donnie. "Why didn't you tell me about the blood tests?" he growled, his fingers coiling and tightening around his elbow while his eyes narrowed.
Donatello winced, staring down at his forgotten project, his fingers curling into a fist atop the table. "When did you find out about that?" His voice was hushed and strained. He hadn't thought he would find out.
"Mikey." Raph stated simply.
Closing his eyes and knitting his brows together, Don tilted his head away from Raph with a heavy sigh escaping his lungs. "Look, I only did those blood tests so if Bishop ever did-"
"Bullshit." Raph hissed and stepped back suddenly and his hand on Don's elbow forced him to spin around to face him.
Donnie flinched as he was twirled about and bumped into his table as he momentarily lost balance. Dark eyes locked with Raphael's smoldering ones and he winced, inching away from him and managing to move away from the table and into the open space in his lab as he carefully moved away from Raph. Hating the fact he felt scared, Donatello suddenly got mad, and he latched onto it in his moment of desperation. "What do you want me to say?" He shouted quietly back at him, his hands forming fists at his sides as his face twisted into a look of defiance. "You think by answering a few questions and saying sorry, that that somehow makes everything fixed and all better? No! Nothing will ever fix this. We are stuck, Raph! You messed up big time today and it's going to take more than 'I'm sorry' to-"
Raphael growled low in his chest and he stalked closer to him, forcing Donnie to take a few more steps back.
Fumbling over his words for a moment as Raph loomed over him, Donatello shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. "Stop it! You can't get your way just by bullying the issue! Not this time!"
"It wouldn't be this complicated if you would just shut up about what we 'shouldn't' do!" Raph shoved Donnie back against one of his bookcases abruptly. Books became dislodged and flew from the shelves showering down around their owner's body from the force.
"Raph!" Donatello shouted, anger flashing in his eyes, but it flickered and disappeared in an instant as Raph suddenly pressed against him, trapping him between his body and the book shelves and forced a quick and hot kiss to his lips.
He pulled back just as sharply as he had attacked, and Raphael locked eyes with his as he spoke, "Why don't ya want to be happy, huh? Do ya like bein' depressed?" Raph whispered before planting a hard kiss to the side of his beak, his hands catching Donnie's wrists before he had a chance to push him away.
Don shivered as his features twisted in anguish. He leaned into the kisses running across his face – over his cheeks, a hard one to his brow, and delicate ones fluttering across his eyelids that made him tremble with hope. But the moment Raphael pressed a strong and forceful kiss to his lips, his fingers curled and he whimpered as his face contorted and his lips pressed back in a weak kiss. He allowed the kiss, even reveled in it, but his senses returned and duty kicked him in the gut. Donatello's face twisted up slightly before he shook his head, trying to dislodge Raph. "Stop…" he whispered.
Growling, Raphael freed one of Don's wrists and he pressed his palm to the purple clad turtle's face, cupping the back of his neck in his large hand and forcing Donnie into another kiss. Raphael pushed closer, rumbling in delight as Donatello's free hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him close, returning the kiss for only a heartbeat before he felt that grip evaporate against his arm.
Shuddering and squeezing his eyes shut to keep from crying, Donnie struggled against Raphael. He whimpered and arched his back upon feeling Raphael's free hand drop down to grope at his thigh. He'd never deny it felt nice – those strong, calloused fingers grasping at his flesh and tugging at his body – but it had to stop. They had to stop now or else Splinter's words….
Raph trailed his hand over the tantalizing flesh of his brother's leg. He wanted to taste it, kiss at the softer flesh between his legs, and most of all, he wanted those legs to wrap around him and hold him tight. Sliding his fingers down once more along his thigh, Raphael cupped Don's knee suddenly and lifted his leg up. He dipped his body down as he hooked Don's leg over his hip, holding it there so he could press his hips to Don's forcefully and push their lower plastrons tightly together.
A churr rumbled through Raphael's body and against Donatello's chest from the delight he felt from being so close to him. Donnie whimpered again and pushed weakly against his brother's shoulders, his face turning away from the onslaught of kisses. "Raph, stop!" He gasped.
"I love you." Raphael whispered, running his lips along his neck and then back to his lips. "I hate seein' ya like this; upset and miserable. I just want ta make ya feel better. I want ta see ya smile again." He breathed and planted hot, desperate kisses across his beak.
"Stop!" Donnie shouted, squeezing his eyes shut and gasping as Raphael's tongue teased at his lips and managed to push into his mouth a ways to tangle with his own.
The kiss was feverish and amazing and their tongues and lips tangled in an erotic dance of yearning. "I want you so much, Donnie-boy. Don't run away anymore." He pleaded in a hushed, but husky voice. His warm breath fell across quivering, wet lips and his fingers stroked and rubbed at Donnie's body in frantic, grasping motions as he thrust and rolled his hips against Don's in imitation of a far more intimate act he wished to initiate.
Donatello struggled against him, pushing and clawing at his brother's chest and shoulders, whimpering as he quavered against him. Inhaling sharply and leaning his head back, Don cried out even as Raph made his toes curl and his insides leap. "Don't! Raphael!"
The strangled howl against his beak jerked him from the momentary pleasure Raph had succumbed too. He abruptly jolted from his happiness as Donnie arched his back and shouted again – nothing coherent this time, just a cry of primal desperation – but his name… having had his name screamed like that, so close against him that it jerked him from his pleasure more surely than if Donnie had whacked him over the head with his bo staff.
Gasping and pulling his mouth from Don's to stare at his brother, Raph watched angry and anxious dark eyes lock with his and he stepped back quickly, easing Don back to his feet before he took a few more stumbling steps back.
Donnie's lower lip trembled faintly and he looked away, grasping onto one of the shelves behind him to keep his balance.
"Donnie…"
"Go away!" Donatello screamed, his whole body shaking.
Raphael just stood there, shaken and uncertain. He did take a step back, but after his amber eyes swept over the room in an attempt to gather himself together, he shot them back to Donatello and glared, "You should have told me!" He yelled right back.
"'Bout what?" Don hissed passed swollen and bruised lips.
"Us not bein' brothers." He growled, taking a step forward.
Closing his eyes and contorting his face into a scoff, Donatello shook his head, "Don't be stupid Raph, what good would it have done to know we weren't related?" He bowed his head, still leaning heavily against his bookcase.
"What good..?" Raph blinked then snarled, hands jumping into fists and his teeth bared viciously, "What good? We could have been together! We could have stopped this fucked up dance and finally just-"
"What? Gone to Splinter to tell him its okay for his sons to be fucking each other? It wouldn't have mattered Raph!" Donnie shouted back, finally taking a small step away from the bookcase. "It didn't matter! I didn't exactly come running into your arms after I found out."
Raph felt like Donnie had just punched him in the gut – the cold look in his eyes, the stiff shoulders, the conviction… it hurt like a bitch and he couldn't bring himself to say anything back.
"Just go up top. I don't care. Go out, be Nightwatcher and play vigilante. I don't care anymore. I'm tired."
Another punch to the gut and a right hook to his head, "W-what?" he stumbled.
Donnie glared, "What? Surprised someone figured it out? It makes sense, Raph. The moment Leo left, Nightwatcher was suddenly the big new superhero. It was easy to connect the dots; the martial arts fighting, the occasional sighting of sais in use, the way you're always headed off to the surface alone; that, and the fact even Mikey said he sounded like you. I just connected those dots and came to the most logical conclusion." He stated simply before he turned, shakily bending down to scoop up the fallen books, "So just go play and get out of here. I don't want to talk to you anymore."
Raphael felt the dagger plunge into his heart and he blinked quickly a few times as he looked down, his breathing picking up and his hands clenching and unclenching.
When a sigh from Donnie fell over his ears, he turned sharply and stormed out of the room – he didn't need to hear him say anything else. He didn't want to know what he was about to say next.
He shoved past Michelangelo – who had obviously been eavesdropping on their fight – and he ran through the lair, having just enough presence of mind to grab his duffle bag before he left the lair without a second glance to the worried shout from Mikey.
Watching his brother flee, looking pale and angry, Mikey glanced back to Donatello's lab and he cautiously set his snacks aside. He had been planning to have a late-late night movie-thon and do nothing but pig out on junk food and watch something on tv for hours on end till the sun came up. But that was pushed aside the moment he had heard Donnie yell and then the sounds of an argument coming from the other side of the lab door.
Inching his way into Donnie's room, Mikey poked his head around the door and watched Donnie scooping up his books and setting them back into order on his shelf. But what made Mikey's brows curl in worry was the way his movements were slow and how his fingers shook.
"Donnie?"
Donatello didn't turn fully around, he only glanced over his shoulder, but it was enough for Mikey see the bruised lips and the tears in his brother's eyes.
He rushed in and enveloped Don in a hug.
He struggled against it at first but with a tighter, more determined hug from his baby brother, Donnie stifled a sniffle and collapsed against Mikey, clinging to him as he hid his face against his brother's neck.
"It was a bad one this time, huh?" Michelangelo asked in a hushed voice.
He nodded and bit his lip. Don was determined not to cry, but the tears were slipping free against his wishes in hot and heavy treks.
Mikey cradled his brother closer, resting his brow against Don's temple. "What was it about?" he asked – though he knew already.
"…everything."
"Meaning?" Mikey drawled, hoping for more of an elaboration.
"… Us mostly." Don whispered, shifting so his brow was pressed to Mikey's throat and he stared off to the side at part of his lab sightlessly.
Sighing loudly, Mikey glanced up at the ceiling. "You know Donnie, if you keep screwing up everything you say whenever you're around him, you really will die a virgin."
A small snort and a sigh followed. "I don't care." Donnie closed his eyes.
"Well ya should, dude; sex is great." He cajoled, desperate for another form of emotion from Don; but when nothing happened, Michelangelo pulled Don closer, holding his brother tight while his fingers ran soothing circles across his shell. "It'll be okay Donnie."
"No, it won't." He whispered brokenly as his face twisted up and a hiccup escaped his throat. Donatello hid his face against Mikey's throat and clung to him. "I really hurt him this time…"
"Well, yeah, but its Raph. And Raph wasn't exactly all that nice either." Mike mumbled, shrugging slightly.
Don sniffled faintly, attempting to calm down, but a violent trembling and another sob burst from his chest. "He hates me. I know it." Donatello fell into him, his body weak and wanting nothing more than to give out on him.
"He doesn't hate ya, bro, he just… he just doesn't know what to think. Michelangelo explained, his fingers continuing their soothing dance across his shell. "Usually you don't fight back like that. You don't aim below the belt all that often."
"I was so horrible to him…"
"Well, I'd be to if he kept his secret identity from me! I mean, come on! Nightwatcher? Him? Who woulda thunk it!" Mike hollered in exasperation and he momentarily pulled his hand away to fling it into the air over dramatically. But not a heartbeat later, a sheepish question slinked from his lips. "Is he really Nightwatcher?"
A wet sounding laugh escaped Don's throat and he lifted his face enough to wipe at this face. "Yeah, Raphie's Nightwatcher." He whispered on a hoarse throat.
A grin broke out over Michelangelo's face and he giggled. Baby blue eyes sparkled in delight and he squirmed a little against Donnie, "That's so cool!" he squealed and hugged Donnie tighter. "Just think, if you two get together, you'll get to fuck Nightwatcher!" Mikey laughed in delight, then a sudden paleness overtook his features, "Ull… that means… oh crud." He slapped a hand over his face, blushing softly. "That means I so tried to… with Raph… and… and I told him..!" It was Mikey's turn to hide his face against Donatello's neck as embarrassment threatened to kill him.
Donnie smiled faintly but it fell quickly and he held Michelangelo close, staring at nothing in particular as he waited. Thunderclouds swooped back onto his mood and he bowed his head, touching Mikey's shoulder with his brow. His brother got the silent message and straightened faintly, continuing his soothing circles upon Don's shell and he slowly got over his horror for the year.
"Man, I hope he never brings that up…" He mumbled.
Donnie grunted.
The two stood silent for a few moments, taking comfort in just being close and knowing they each supported the other.
"You know…" Michelangelo began, rousing Donnie from his depression, "If you and Raph really want to be together; I'd cover for ya. You know, distract Splinter when you guys wanted to be alone and stuff…"
"It doesn't matter, Mikey." Donnie whispered, exhaling loudly. "I don't want you to have to cover for anything." He hugged his baby brother tightly, just wanting to stay close. It had always annoyed him that Michelangelo was a little taller than him. It was no more than half an inch – if not less – and really, it was not all that noticeable; but it had annoyed him to no end for some reason, until now. He really did love this feeling of hiding away against someone who cared for him… but then, the feeling of Raphael pressed against him once more invaded his senses and it felt wrong gripping onto Mikey. Don pulled away slowly and tilted his head, staring off to the side as a weight settled upon his shoulders – especially when thinking back to Master Splinter and their talk.
Frowning and looking away from his brother, Michelangelo fidgeted, scratching at his cheek for a second before he plastered one of his infamous beaming smiles on his face. "Come on, Donnie. Let's go do something. I was about to start a movie night! We can laugh and joke and eat enough chips, pork rinds, popcorn and soda to choke a Triceraton! It'll be great!"
"Pork rinds?" Smiling weakly and then nodding, Don stepped away from his brother and rubbed his neck. "Yeah, that sounds like it'll be fun."
Mikey grinned and snagged his brother's wrist, tugging him towards the main living area and his pile of junkfood. "So what do you want to watch?" He squeaked and bounced excitedly. He tugged on his brother's arm, with bright, shining eyes, "I have the last episode of the Justice Force cartoon!"
Rolling his eyes, Donnie pulled his arm away from his baby bro and shook his head, "I'm not watching that. We should watch something like-"
"I'm not watching Jurassic Park with you! Everytime we watch it you ramble on about how it would be impossible to pull DNA but dead bugs, but you agree about the sex change… hey…" Mikey stopped mid rant and pointed a finger at his brother, eyes wide. "You think that's why Leo didn't come back? He's now a chick?" He squeaked, his hands slapping to his mouth as his blue eyes grew wide in a mixture of horror, fascination, and hope.
Sighing loudly, Donnie shook his head, "No, probably not." But he did raise a brow to think it over – was it possible? With their mutation, their bodies were already accustomed to changing and adapting. Was it within their DNA to perhaps mutate yet again into the feminine aspect of their race to insure survival?
Groaning loudly, Mikey shook his head and covered his eyes. "I know that look! I'm going to have to give blood soon, huh?"
"Yes. And you're first born child if my theories actually pan out." Donnie smiled warmly, the last of the tears fading before he turned and quietly move to take his designated seat in the easy chair.
"Huh?" Mikey asked, his face twisting up in confusion.
Donnie just smiled and waved a hand. "So what are we going to watch?"
That starry-eyed hope once again appeared and quivered in his eyes as he clasped his hands together in hope.
Sighing loudly, Donnie slumped into his chair, "Okay, fine, Justice Force it is."
"Yay!" Mikey squealed and threw his hands in the air, and he frolicked to the tv to turn the large screen on and thusly turning the cartoon on.
"You're such a kid sometimes." Don frowned, but his face held a fond look for his baby brother while his body began to relax.
"Just means I'll forever be young at heart." He stated cockily and slapped a hand to his chest before he waggled his brows, "And I'll be forever pretty too!"
Smirking and shaking his head, Donnie propped his chin atop his knuckles and looked towards the tv. His smile fell gradually as he waited for Mikey to load the movie and settle down on the couch near him. His eyes fell and he stared at his toes resting atop the foot rest of the easy chair.
A cheese puff hit him in the head suddenly and brought him out of his dark thoughts. Blinking blankly at Mikey as he turned to look at his younger brother, Donnie wasn't quiet sure what to think of the situation – after all, Michelangelo was staring so intently at him, he wasn't sure if he had something important to say, or if he was going to serenade him in a chorus of burps. He did that last week after all.
"It's goin' to be all right bro." Mikey said suddenly and then his face broke out into a cheesy grin. "I'm sure I didn't steal Raph's heart away from you after I tried to rape him that night I went looking for Nightwatcher!" he reassured.
Don smiled weakly and nodded, looking back to the screen. "Yeah…" he whispered – he just hoped that it were true – about the situation being okay. He just hoped Raph wasn't beating himself up too badly for what he had done… and he really hoped he hadn't taken his words to heart. He hoped that most of all.
"Hey!" Mikey whined, throwing a piece of candy at him, "Are you goin' to watch this or am I just talking to myself?" He asked with wide, dewy eyes and a quivering lower lip.
Sighing and raising a brow at his brother, Donnie finally smirked and settled into his chair more comfortably. "Fine, I'll watch it."
Mikey squealed and threw a hand in the air, spreading jelly-beans about before he grabbed a bag of chips and ripped them open, stuffing the food into his mouth. Pausing, he raised a brow then tentatively offered the bag over to Donnie. "Pork rind?"
Grinning, Donnie leaned over and snagged the bag, "Pork rind." He nodded and the two settled in, both at an understanding that from this moment on, the rest of the night was meant for the sole purpose of ignoring everything they both were feeling towards their significant other. They needed this night of abandon.
Donnie really didn't give Mikey enough recognition concerning his intelligence.
Then again, the dude was cuddling a stick of butter to his chest. Maybe he was giving him too much credit…
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and Donatello's mug... XD I actually own that MASSIVE mug; and yes, it's big, has those goofy characters on them and it's so... big!! Donnie would have no problem fitting both his fingers through the handle while drinking from it. just on a random side note. I love the idea that Raph gave Don a mug for his coffee consumption XD I couldn't resist!
anyway... o.0 there it is. another massive post. I got the idea for Raph and Donnie fighting from the 2007 movie; and I was wondering "how would that affect their relationship for this sort of pairing..?" and so I had to play on the fighting. honestly, i love that they fight; it's not only fun, but it's a breeding ground for angst and future plot bunnies. I love the idea of them fighting because it also puts them on opposite sides for a change - instead of both being 'oh, poor me', because of Splinter (or whatever drama is going on right then), they are fighting because they both have their own distinct views on life and how they should go about and handle the situation. (i'm babbling...)
and this chapter also shows the joys between Mike and Don and them now both being on equal footing and having that support structure together. :D I hope ya'll like that too. I just think it's so sweet that Mikey sorta stepped up right here and became the big brother to comfort Donnie.
And please don't hate Splinter! ;; it'll make sense later, because I do have Donnie's and Splinter's conversation already typed and finished (it's even edited! wow!), so -I- know exactly what happened and I tried to elude to it in this chapter. ((Their conversation will get posted later on as more of a flashback than an actual part of the chapter... but it does exist)).
but yeah... ten years is a long time to wait... and you gotta admit, the fact that Raph HAS waited ten years, that's pretty impressive, and it was about time he snapped. luckily he didn't go too far, but still... shrugs
Welp, I hope you enjoyed :) and the next post will be Leo's return!
--Melissa the Damgel