A/N: Guuuuuuuuuuuys I managed to update :)) YAY! :D
Thank you so muuuuuuuuch for your incredible support! I LOVE YOU xo
Um..you might need kleenex for this one... :D
Please enjoy reading! :)

"Ziver", Gibbs' voice cut through the noise at the airport and Ziva spun around, gasping as she spotted him. A lump formed in her throat and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get rid of it.

Her legs were shaking as she made her way through the crowd. Isabelle walked next to her and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "It's gonna be okay", she whispered to her, a huge smile on her face.

Ziva took a deep breath and nodded. As they finally reached Gibbs, Ziva quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to keep the tears at bay. However Gibbs didn't say anything but simply pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, finding comfort in his embrace. "Gibbs, I..", Ziva started, her voice muffled by his shirt. She could feel him shake his head. "Later, kid", he whispered in her ear.

She pulled away and nodded. "How is Tony?", Isabelle asked and Ziva held her breath in fear of Gibbs' answer. "He's a fighter", Gibbs stated simply. Ziva chuckled sadly. "He is", she whispered to nobody in particular.

Gibbs took Isabelle's and Ziva's suitcases and offered his arm to Ziva. She smiled softly and linked her arm through his. "I'll take you to him, Ziva. Don't you worry", he whispered to her and she smiled. Yeah, it was good to be home.

Ziva took a deep breath as she walked through the door to Tony's hospital room. Isabelle had insisted that Ziva should go first. "That's why I brought you here", she'd said.

To be honest, Ziva really liked her. Sure, she'd been kind of worried about her status with Tony at first but once they'd cleared that up..well, she was kinda nice. Ziva turned around and stopped dead in her tracks.

There he was. Tony. She could no longer fight it. The tears started flowing down her cheeks and she didn't even bother to wipe them away. Slowly she made her way over to his bed and a strangled sob escaped her lips as she saw the countless machines connected to his body.

She sat down on the chair next to his bed and reached out to grab his hand. She closed both her hands around his and gently pulled it closer to her. "Oh Tony", she whispered through her tears.

Ziva just sat there for a while, trying to calm herself down. Which wasn't exactly working. At all. She raised one of her hands and gently brushed a strand of hair from his face.

He looked so peaceful, yet she knew he probably wasn't. "I am so sorry", she whispered, more tears escaping her eyes. She leaned closer to him and pressed her lips to his forehead, lingering there for a moment.

"I should not have sent you away. And I should not have broken off contact with you", she said quietly. She'd once read that people in a coma could still hear people talking to them. And even if he couldn't hear her, she needed to get this out.

"It was not easy for me either. I wish things could have been different", she stated sadly, running her fingers through his hair. "If only you had not been attacked in your apartment. You would have gotten to Israel in time, I would not have had time to talk to her. Things..would have been different", she went on.

She wasn't sure whether things would have really been different. Eventually the ghosts from her past would have gotten to her. But talking to her – she would not mention her name, never again – had made things worse.

"We would have spent the summer in Israel. I would have taken you to every place I ended up visiting alone. Eventually McGee would have called us and we would have gone back to Washington. Together", she mused.

Maybe it would have been like that. Maybe not. She couldn't know. She'd never know. "I am sure that after our summer together, I would have told you how I felt", she whispered, her thumb drawing circles on the back of his hand.

"I still feel the same way, Tony", she then added. "I never wanted to let you go. It was not easy for me either. But I had to do this. For me. For us. I needed to get my life back on track", she tried to justify her actions.

God, she'd screwed up. She knew that now. To be honest, she'd known all along. Ziva reached up again to run her hand through his hair. Carefully she leaned closer to him until they were face-to-face.

She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. God, how she'd missed him. "I am so sorry, Tony. So sorry", she said under her breath. What if she never got the chance to tell him while he was conscious?

What if she never got the chance to actually be with him? "I need you, Tony", she whispered, her lips only inches from his. "Please, you have to wake up. I..cannot..I..", she started but her voice cracked.

Fresh tears spilled from her eyes. "I cannot live without you either", she eventually breathed. And it was then that she couldn't take it anymore. She slumped back into her chair and buried her face in the duvet of his bed.

"I love you", she whispered over and over again. Suddenly she felt a pressure on her hand that was still holding his. She thought she'd imagined it and simply continued to cry into the duvet.

The pressure fainted but returned after a few seconds. Ziva slowly lifted her head off the bed and carefully glanced up at him. His eyes were still closed. She sighed.

Yeah, as if he'd wake up the second she got there. She looked at their hands and smiled softly. It reminded her a lot of the car ride after they'd come back from Berlin. Minus the crash, it had been an amazing moment.

His hand holding hers had felt so good, so natural even. Like it was meant to be. And then his fingers interlaced with hers.. Ziva gasped as she suddenly saw his fingers moving slightly.

She was hallucinating, she was sure of it. But she could feel it, feel his fingers move. Slow and weak but the movement was still there. She sat up straighter and watched in amazement as his fingers moved.

It looked like he was desperately trying to interlace their fingers. She was so focused on their hands that she didn't see his eyes flutter open the slightest bit. It was only when his raspy voice cut through the silence of the room, that her head shot up and she covered her mouth with her hand as sobs racked her body.

"Ziva."

A/N: I warned you! I cried writing this! :O :'( BUT HE'S AWAAAAAAAAAAKE! :))
Please let me know what you think, what could be improved and what you wanna see in future chapters in the reviews section! :) LOVE to hear from you xo
I'm not entirely sure whether I'll update tomorrow.. I have another important exam coming up this week, so yeah.. But I'll try of course :)
Love y'all,
~ C.