"I'll use you as a warning sign,
That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind,
I'll use you as a focal point,
So I don't lose sight of what I want,
I've moved further than I thought I could,
But I miss you more than I thought I would,
I'll use you as a warning sign,
That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind.

I found love where it wasn't supposed to be,
Right in front of me."

-I Found, Amber Run

Chapter Eleven

One Month Later…

For what seemed like the millionth time today, Sakura arranged and rearranged her closet. It was all she could do to keep busy. Color coordinate, long sleeve to short sleeve, pants to skirts…

She had been given leave from work, but a month was too long. A month was killing her psyche, because she was here. She was here, in this god forsaken apartment, and not doing anything. Nothing at all. Keeping her hands busy kept her mind from wandering, and keeping her hands busy was all she could do to keep herself from losing control.

It hadn't been easy to sleep, and, in fact, she barely slept at all. She stayed awake, thinking of where they could be.

And just like that, she was tearing her closet apart again. She couldn't let the thoughts consume her, but they did whether she liked it or not. The moment they entered her psyche, she was up and moving. Because she was here, doing nothing, while she could have been doing something. But no, Tsunade thought she was weak when she was anything but.

Pain knew she was anything but weak.

The clothes dropped from her grasp, and, suddenly, the room was spinning. The air was crisp against her heated skin; her skin was a fiery furnace, trying to contain the emotions swirling beneath the surface. Frozen to the carpet in the middle of her bedroom, Sakura lifted her shaking hands.

Sakura didn't want to live in her skin anymore.

"Then don't."

She could hardly breathe, her chest slowing, and finally stuttering to a stop.

"Stay here."

She wanted to be with him. Only him.

"With me."

Her heart stuttered, unable to keep beating at the correct pace when her breathing was so ragged. So erratic. So lost.

"By my side."

Dropping to her knees, Sakura's eyes shut tightly. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

"Forever."

Yet, never again. Pain was gone, and her heart was broken.

The pain that overtook Sakura was like no other, but it had become a normal occurrence. Each day, something would trigger the memories. The sweet, addictive memories that she tried to keep locked away. She craved the memories that caressed her skin, and made her feel like he was here with her. Caressing her, loving her, and comforting her.

It was pure bliss.

It was torture.

But the tears never fell. She never cried. Not one tear had fallen since her return—only an empty feeling remained where the tears should have fallen. Empty, hollow, and full of despair.

The tree outside of her window scraped against the glass, emitting a shrill, scratching sound, which caught Sakura's attention. She didn't know how long she had laid there on the floor, but Amaya would be home soon. Her daughter couldn't see her mother like she was, and Sakura knew the importance of the fact.

Amaya had been quiet and reserved. Much too quiet and reserved since their return, and she wasn't the same child. Everyone around them simply assumed that it was the ordeal, just as they had with Sakura. Shoving pills at them, everyone saying, "It will be alright. It's all better now."

But it wasn't, and it wouldn't be.

The more Sakura tried to get back to the normalcy of her life, the more she realized that this wasn't what she considered normal anymore.

Getting up early, cooking breakfast for the Akatsuki who left for missions. Falling asleep on the couch until Amaya joined her, turning cartoons on every morning like clockwork. Konan gifting her with small items at every turn, and how the items still ended up in her room when she returned them. Rolling over in bed and seeing him lying there, sound asleep and peaceful. Feeling him surround her, envelope her inside and out.

Those things were normal and had become second nature. Sakura was now living in the dream—a dream she had held onto for so long that when she was finally here… It wasn't a dream at all.

It was a nightmare.

Grabbing at the foot of her bed, Sakura pulled herself up and forced herself to stand on shaky legs. Eventually, she made it to the bathroom. Stripped herself. Stood in the shower. Curled up under the steady stream of piercing hot water until the stream became cold, and even then Sakura didn't notice until she was freezing.

She was a mess, her life was a mess, but she would never admit it out loud.

She had thought of leaving just that afternoon. So, why was she so shell shocked to return?

Because she hadn't been ready. She hadn't returned of her own free will.

Eventually, she stood and stepped out from underneath the freezing water. It was hard to give in to reality, but Amaya would be home soon. She had to pull herself together, because if Amaya fell apart then there was no reason to stay.

And Amaya was the reason Sakura stayed. Amaya needed to be in school, she needed to socialize with children her own age, and she needed structure. Structure, normalcy, and order.

Sakura pulled a brush through her tangled, mangled hair, and her eye caught on the glinting pieces of jewelry she had busied herself with getting. The one in her nose had been her first, and had triggered a frenzy for the past month. She could now see why Pain loved his piercings. Not only did his serve as chakra centers, but they were also attractive. Sakura had gotten her nose pierced, then two bars through her ears: one through the top of her right, and then left, ear. Next, came the belly button, and, recently, her nipples.

Sakura knew why she got the piercings, which were out of character for her at any stage in her life. When she looked at herself, naked and bare, she could feel a piece of him as a part of her. His piercings were such a vital part of his image that Sakura felt that her own piercings were an homage to the influence he had on her life.

Pulling her long tresses up into a messy bun, Sakura applied a small amount of makeup to hide the red that blotted her skin, and strode over to her dresser. Over the clothes covering the floor, because indulging in her closet would only set her off again.

Atop her dresser sat a wood box, a leather journal, a pair of sunglasses, an intricately carved bird, and a small box. The things were placed in various spots, but they were there. Sakura had set the items in a pack with a few of Amaya's things when she had been checking on her daughter, and when Shikamaru had come he had grabbed the items in haste.

Sakura was very thankful.

Sakura reached for the box that held her only connection to Pain, but she faltered as always. Not only had the ring not graced her finger since her return, but she hadn't even touched the piece of jewelry.

Sakura knew she couldn't. She knew how important it was to try and fix herself, for her daughter, for Amaya's sake, and placing that ring on her finger would mean betrayal to her village.

But, hadn't she already betrayed them beyond forgiveness?

Sakura couldn't put the ring on her finger, because she couldn't bear with the thought of only hearing his voice. She would need to see him, touch him, feel him, and taste him to satiate herself.

No, the ring was not a good idea. But the mere sight of it gave her comfort. The events had happened, and they weren't in her imagination. The memories weren't just dreams.

Below, Sakura could hear the door open. Quickly donning her clothing, Sakura took the stairs one at a time. Slowly. Gathering herself. She needed the extra seconds, because Amaya could sense her mother's feelings. It took extra effort to hide anything from her daughter, but it was worth Amaya growing up in a safe environment.

xxxXxxx

Ino had stayed for a couple hours, checking on Sakura no doubt. The other rookies were worried about her, too, but Ino was the only one who invaded Sakura's space. Ino knew she could, and Sakura allowed her.

As much fun as it was to have Ino around for the distraction, though, Sakura was thankful for the silence when she left. Sakura had taken up residence in one of the backyard, reclining, law chairs, with a cup of tea in her hand, and a medical book in the other hand. The sky was bright with stars, even if her backyard flood lights did drown out the view a bit.

The glass door opened as soon as Sakura flipped the page, and she turned her head to see Amaya coming out in shorts and a tank top.

"Hey, baby," Sakura greeted, and placed her book on the matching side table. "What's up?"

Amaya rounded Sakura's chair and curled up in the chair beside Sakura's. Hugging her legs to her chest, Amaya let her chin rest on her knees.

"I miss them."

Sakura blinked, and held her breath. It was the first time Amaya had spoken of the Akatsuki since they had returned, and she knew not to speak to others about their time there. She knew the danger, even as young as she was.

"I know," Sakura whispered, finally, and sipped gingerly at her tea. "Me too."

"Then why are we here, Momma?" Amaya asked after a silent moment, and stared up at the stars.

Sakura mulled over her thoughts for a moment, and sighed. "It's not that easy."

"It is," Amaya insisted, abruptly, and turned her sights on her mother. "All we have to do is leave."

Sakura shook her head, and closed her eyes. She couldn't look at the determination, the hope, in Amaya's eyes. "We can't, baby. You know that. You love your family here, don't you?"

Amaya's jaw tightened, and she nodded curtly. "I love my other family, too."

Sakura's heart stuttered at Amaya's words. I love my other family, too. The words cut deep.

"You need to be here. You have school, friends, and family here. You're safe here. So is Mommy," Sakura said, and sat her tea down. "Baby, I know you want to go back. But it's not all fun and games. It was dangerous being away from home for so long. Dangerous for you. There are people out there that would hurt you. Here, Grandma Tsunade can keep you safe. I can keep you safe. I promise you that."

Amaya was silent, and when Sakura glanced over to her daughter Amaya was star-gazing once more. Silent, the hope had been dashed from her expression.

'Damnit,' Sakura thought. She needed to hold it together. At least until Amaya went to bed. She needed to hold it together for as long as she could, because she needed to convince not only Amaya of the good of staying in Konoha, she needed to convince herself as well.

xxxXxxx

"Are you sure you don't want me to wait with you?" Sakura asked, handing Amaya her backpack.

Rolling her eyes, Amaya nodded. "Mom. I'm almost eight. I can handle myself for a little while. I'll go read up on the new material Master Iruka gave us yesterday. Go to work."

Pausing, Sakura raised an eyebrow. "You aren't supposed to eye roll until you're a teen. When did you start eye rolling? You know what—you're right. I'm almost-eight-year-old is right." Throwing her hands up, Sakura took a few steps back. "Go, have fun. Don't cause trouble. Learn something new."

Amaya smiled, hugged Sakura, and ran up the steps of the school. Before she went inside, she turned and gave Sakura a toothy grin. "Love you!"

"To the moon and back," Sakura replied, returning the smile. Once Amaya was safety inside, Sakura turned on her heals and began her leisurely walk to the hospital.

Whether Tsunade liked it or not, Sakura was going back to work. She needed to go back to work to keep herself sane. Having rearranged her closet many times, cleaned all of the clean dishes just as many times, and taken to many walks to appreciate her route anymore, Sakura was about ready to lay in the middle of the road and allow herself to be run over by a cart. Anything to get inside the hospital. Besides, she couldn't have Tsunade paying for her bills anymore.

It was time for people to stop coddling her—Pain never coddled her, and she had fit in just fine with that. Now, she stuck out like a sore thumb. A thumb that was perfectly fine, but it was attached to an overly sensitive owner who felt the need to coddle the thumb with Percocet and Vicodin when ibuprofen would have been sufficient.

Arriving at the hospital faster than she expected, Sakura stopped in at the coffee shop just across the street for a little pep snack. Not that she needed to be anywhere else but in the hospital. She was itching to get inside and get her hands on the patients, touch medicine, hookup central lines, draw blood, anything to be of use. But, after a long night filled with tossing and turning, a little coffee and a blueberry muffin was a much needed pick-me-up.

As the doors slid open to the E.R., Sakura's nerves settled and she was able to center her thoughts for the first time in thirty days.

"Sakura?"

Her eyes were drawn to the voice, and Mika, Sakura's right hand woman on the nursing staff, was staring, wide-eyed and mouth gaping, as Sakura smiled.

"In the flesh," Sakura replied, downing the rest of her coffee quickly and tossing the cup in the trash. "What have you got for me?"

Mika's mouth snapped shut, but her eyes remained wide. "I—we—" She handed over the charts in her hands, a smile beginning to grace her lips. "We weren't expecting you back until Tsunade announced your return."

Sakura rolled her eyes, probably looking much like her daughter earlier that morning, and flipped through the charts. "Announce my return? Please. I'm not dead, therefore I can work."

"So, Tsunade is letting you back so soon?"

Stopping all movement, Sakura snapped her head up to stare at Mika. "It's been a month—much longer than necessary, don't you think?"

"Well, I mean, I don't know. You were kidnapped, and held prisoner. I would be terrified to—"

Sakura's playful tone and look suddenly turned sour. "Mika, stop."

Freezing, the woman's smile faded and she looked away. "I'm sorry. I—"

"You have no idea what happened. Don't assume I'm not competent because I was gone for a few months," Sakura snapped, stealing a few long term cases from the stack and turning on her heels. "I'll be in my office."

And with that, everyone knew Sakura was back and she wasn't the same. Her sudden outburst had caused a hush to fall over the E.R., despite the sound of heart monitors and nurses still tending to their patients.

Sakura the body and medic was back, but her personality had changed. And she hadn't realized until that very moment when the woman who she used to share laughs and drinks with was suddenly a woman who understood nothing about Sakura or what was going on inside of her head.

Sakura's office hadn't changed since she left. The dust had been kept from settling, and her office remained untouched. The deep, emerald green walls were a comfort. The files had been removed from their usual piles on her desk, but that was to be expected. Someone needed to treat her patients while she was gone. Books and scrolls lined the left side of the room, filling the bookcases until she thought they might burst, and binders full of medical research lined the bookshelves to the right of her, which were also full and overflowing. Sakura's work was her life. That is, until she was kidnapped and thrown into fairy tale land.

She had resorted to calling her time with the Akatsuki that, because that's what it was. Their kindness, their mundane nature, could only be described as a fairy tale, because she couldn't picture Itachi as the scary, clan-murdering Uchiha brother anymore. Nor could she envision Kisame stalking her while she swam, ready to strike, drown, and kill her. Even Zetsu was less harmful now, because his good side truly did have a kind and caring streak—well, when he didn't want to devour her flesh. Oh well.

So, a fairy tale. That's what it had been, because they were s-class criminals who needed to remain scary for her to not miss them. Because she did, in fact, miss them.

Her chair was as comfy as ever when she sat, kicking off her heels and pulling on the sneakers that were still underneath her desk. Also changing out of her pedestrian clothes and into a pair of scrubs, which felt much more comfortable than the pencil skirt she had walked in with, Sakura went to work. Reading, marking up, and ordering medication and treatment for the patients in the files before her. Normal hospital work. Just how she wanted it to be.

Normal was somewhat of a complicated term now. What was normal for Sakura? For the past few months, normal had become living day in and day out with the Akatsuki. Melding to their schedule, working on things that needed to be done on their time. And it had become Sakura's time. Now, what had been normal for twenty-four years had become strange? Strange and very un-normal indeed.

Flipping through charts, and even more charts when Mika brought her more, Sakura decided that she would seclude herself for most of the day updating charts. Having to deal with Mika's questioning stare was enough. She couldn't deal with the entire hospital staff questioning her return. And why would they? The hospital was nosy, Sakura knew that. But still. Her business was none of theirs, and they should know that.

After updating the charts, Sakura leaned back. The charts had kept her busy for a couple of hours, so that was a plus. But now the charts had run out, and Sakura needed to find something to occupy her time. Standing, she slowly circled her office, running her fingers over the multitude of books, files, and binders. Slowing, Sakura stood before her research and took in the many binders that lined the bookshelves. There were a lot, because Sakura had taken her job seriously back then. She still took the matter of saving lives seriously. But now, it all seemed so insignificant when she couldn't be applying it.

There was nothing to apply her medical research to here in Konoha. Sure, people got hurt in battle. Shinobi's were impaired, but not so much that simple procedures wouldn't fix it. Sakura had been studying up on replacing limbs with prosthesis's that would take the users chakra flow just as the natural limb had, allowing the user to function as normal. Opening one of the binders, Sakura ran a hand over the drawings she had made in the margins. The limbs were smooth, not bulky, and much more functional than the limbs that were offered now. The limbs offered now barely functioned, because the technology hadn't advanced as far as her ideas had.

To make these dreams jump off of the paper, Sakura knew that she would need to get back into the heat of battle. This she knew, yet she couldn't make it a reality. Until she left, she hadn't had the courage to leave on a mission. Until Amaya was taken, she hadn't had any courage left. Then, Amaya gave her courage. Pain gave her strength. Pain gave her hope. And now, stroking the spines of the many binders that stared glaringly at her, Sakura knew that she could help his members in some way.

Konoha may not be suffering, but the enemies were. And this was the first time in Sakura's life that she felt pity for the other side. She had seen the other side, and there was no difference between them besides different ideals. And possibly a higher body count.

In that moment, Sakura knew that her dream could be a reality. Her techniques could be of use, instead of locked up on a hospital shelf for only one sides advantage.

Grabbing a pen and her prescription pad, Sakura shoved the items into her pocket and closed the door to her office. The hallway wasn't buzzing in this part of the hospital, which was good for Sakura. Mika's questioning gaze was enough—she didn't need, or want, her entire staff giving her that look today.

On her way to see Tsunade, Sakura was interrupted, thankfully, when Karin ran down the hallway.

"Sakura!" she shouted, and, when Sakura's eyes finally settled on her, Karin's scrubs were splattered with blood.

Eyes widening, Sakura immediately turned. "What happened?"

"They need you in the E.R. We're having trouble containing this guy," Karin informed her, followed Sakura's gaze, and sighed. "Not my blood. His."

Sakura nodded, relieved, and motioned back towards her office. "I have some extra scrubs in my office. If you need them, you can go ahead and change in there."

Karin looked relieved, and motioned to the E.R. "They sent me to find you before I did anything else. Go, before he actually hurts someone."

Sakura was already on her way towards the wing of the hospital. She didn't need to be told where to go when people needed help. She knew. Even if they didn't need her help specifically, after seeing Karin like she was, Sakura still would go to watch and assist.

Pulling a scrub gown from the box on the shelf, Sakura threw it over her own, clean scrubs and exposed skin. Not that Sakura hadn't been sprayed with her fair share of bodily fluids, but it was nice to walk away from a patient clean.

Sakura ran over to the exam room, flinching when something inside the room hit the glass hard upon impact.

'Good Lord,' Sakura thought, groaning internally, having forgotten how difficult some patients could be under the influence. Of what didn't matter. They all were difficult when impaired.

Entering the trauma room, the smell of pungent iron filled the air. Blood. "What's going on?"

"Daiki Ikeda, twenty-seven, suffering from multiple stab wounds," Mika immediately iterated, holding one of Daiki's arms down to the table, which was a feat for her small body to accomplish.

"Alright, Mr. Ikeda? Daiki? We're going to need you to calm down so we can help you, okay? Fuyu, can you grab a sedative? We need to calm him down. See what the damage is."

Sakura informed Fuyu of the correct dosage, and the patient on the table froze for a fraction of a second before thrashing wildly.

"No drugs!" he cried, pulling free of the nurses restraining him. "No more!"

Sakura leapt to help contain him, but his foot collided with her lower abdomen. He kicked, and she went flying back against the wall. Normally, it wouldn't have fazed her, but a sharp, shooting pain suddenly radiated from where his foot had connected. Sakura clutched the wall with one hand, and the other fell to her stomach.

"Sakura!" Mika cried, worry threading her tone.

Blinking, Sakura had to focus her vision that had blurred for a moment, slightly, and she tried to focus on the whirr of commotion around her. When she focused on the scene, finally, Mika was rushing towards her. Sakura had slid down the wall, her knees up to her chest, her stomach protected unconsciously.

"Ow," Sakura murmured, dazed, when Mika tried to lift her scrub shirt. Mika froze, suddenly, and her eyes went wide.

"Rin, go get a wheelchair. Sakura needs to go see Dr. Rinata. Hurry!" Mika shouted, and tried to keep Sakura from standing.

"Sakura, how do you feel? Did you hit your head?"

Sakura shook her head, and looked confusedly at Mika. "I'm fine, let me stand. Just a little dazed, I—"

Mika shook her head, and glanced back to the door. "Sakura, sit. You're bleeding."

Blinking, Sakura followed Mika's stare to the floor beneath Sakura. Blood had seeped through the crotch of her scrub pants and was pooling on the floor.

"I don't need a wheel chair, Mika," Sakura informed her, head clearing save for the pain radiating from her lower abdomen. Using Mika to help her stand, Sakura came to her feet and then doubled over just as quickly. Pain shot through her, suddenly and rapidly, and Sakura clung to Mika. "Never mind."

As much as Sakura knew she needed the wheelchair, being wheeled through the halls of the hospital towards the OBGYN ward was the last thing she wanted today. No obscurity in that endeavor. By the time she was situated in stirrups on one of the tables, cleaned up and waiting, Sakura knew that the whole hospital would be buzzing with gossip. It wasn't much gossip, or life-changing, probably, but still. Sakura didn't want any buzz at all. None.

Sakura was about to stand and pull on a pair of clean scrubs, thinking it was simply a gushing period, when Iona Rinata poked her head through the door. Her mane of curling, blood red hair was magnificent, as was the ivory skin that covered her body. In truth, Iona was beautiful, and had become Sakura's best friend inside and out of work. Besides Ino, that is. Well, even more than Ino, after Sakura thought about their relationship a bit more.

"Long time no see," Iona said, smile gracing her dark lips, and the smile reached her eyes which were accented with winged eyeliner and mascara. Her eyelashes were already thick naturally, so Sakura assumed that she probably wasn't even wearing mascara. "Excuse you, sit back, please."

Sakura laughed, and rolled her eyes. "Iona, I'm fine," Sakura argued, but did as she was told. Iona could be commanding even when she didn't mean it. "And you're funny. Very funny."

Iona, to Sakura, was probably the only soul in Konoha she could spill her guts to. Iona would keep her lips shut, ears attentive, and heart open, ready to do anything to help a friend. Sakura would do the same for Iona, and had done the same when they had first met.

Iona had been her doctor while Amaya was still a bun in the oven, and she and Sakura had connected on a deeper level than either had expected. Both of their husbands—technically, fiancé for Sakura—had been killed in the line of duty, but Iona had lost so much more. Her first and only child had died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) a month later, and Iona had been crushed. Tsunade had been the one to pull her from her mourning and get her life back on track. It was Sakura that kept her there, and Iona had kept Sakura sane.

They were kindred spirits, and Sakura loved the woman more than she probably should.

"I try, darling," Iona said, sitting in the wheeling chair at Sakura's feet, and placing Sakura's feet back in the stirrups. "I heard what happened. To calm your thoughts, he's been sedated and taken care of. So don't go rushing out of here back to trauma."

Sakura sighed. "If you've heard, then the whole hospital has heard. Great."

"Oh, it's no big deal," Iona said, waving a hand dismissively. "Who cares? IF you weren't the talk of the hospital, then I would make sure you were. People are going to notice you, Sakura, because you spent four months held captive by the Akatsuki and came back alive."

And, even as Sakura's heart clenched, she loved Iona a little bit more in that moment. The woman was relentless when she wanted information, and she did everything to ensure the people around her were miserable until she knew it. Sakura's capture and rescue hadn't been kept quiet, surprisingly, and everyone knew her troubles. Except, the stories weren't true, and it broke Sakura's heart to lie to everyone. Even though she knew she needed to lie, for everyone's sake, Sakura still wanted to tell someone that she was okay. She was fine, because she had chosen to stay.

But she wouldn't, couldn't, and that hurt Sakura even more.

"Oh, yes. Highlight of my life," Sakura replied, infusing a little bit of sarcasm into her voice, and rolled her eyes. "How is it that everyone is so nosy around here?"

"They're here for most of their day, so they need something to keep them entertained. Like the patients aren't enough, right?" Iona asked, beginning her exam.

"True. Very true."

Sakura suddenly flinched, coming off the table slightly when Iona's fingers prodded in a tender spot.

"Tender?" Iona asked, eyebrows knitted together in a speculative look, and Sakura nodded. "Okay, relax."

Sakura complied, and leaned back on the exam table.

"So, tell me, how is my lovely god-child doing?" Iona asked, a smile on her lips.

Sakura groaned. "She's not your god child."

"Yet," Iona added, and pressed lightly on Sakura's stomach. Sakura couldn't identify her tone.

"Yeah, well, we'll see. She needs guidance, not a godmother who is going to spoil her at every turn."

Iona snorted, and rolled her eyes. "Honey, your child is spoiled by everyone. Everyone loves that child, and there's no argument about it."

Suddenly pulling away from Sakura, Iona stood and pulled over the ultrasound machine.

"Oh, God, I'm broken," Sakura whined, eyes widening, and Iona laughed.

"No, no. You're not broken. I just need to double check some things. Can't see everything with my fingers, you know."

"I'm pretty sure I just started my period at the wrong time, Iona," Sakura said, sitting up before Iona could get any closer with the internal ultrasound wand. "I'm fine. And since when do you need to double check anything?"

Holding up a hand, Iona dismissed her friend. "I'm the expert, here. Let me do my job."

Sighing, Sakura complied. It was hard to argue with Iona, especially when Sakura knew that the pain she was feeling, the pressure, wasn't a normal sign of her period. Sakura hated people doting over her, especially friends.

Laying there, Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but, seeing the look on Iona's face, her voice caught in her throat. Iona's expression changed multiple times as Sakura watched her—surprise, fear, curiosity.

"Oh, I am broken," Sakura whispered, eyes widening slightly.

Moving the ultrasound around a fraction, Iona turned the screen so Sakura could see.

"When were you going to tell me about this juicy tid-bit of information?" Iona asked, eyebrows raised, curiosity pouring out of every pore in her body.

Sakura couldn't focus on the image before her, before her heart stopped. The 3D ultrasound was meant to be clear when looking at the picture, but if you didn't know what to look for it took a second. Sakura wanted to scream, to cry, and to celebrate all at once.

"Sakura?"

Her eyes were glued to the screen, though, so she didn't look to Iona. "I didn't know," she whispered, heart clenching, unclenching, clenching.

Iona raised her eyebrow, and looked skeptical. "You didn't know you were four months pregnant?"

"Four?" Sakura squeaked, her mind running a mile a minute. "How can I be…?"

It hit her, and Sakura's head fell back, her eyes still glued to the screen. Sakura remembered the night clearly—the first night she and Pain had become intimate. It would be forever burned into her mind and memory, along with all of the other nights. Four months ago, Sakura never thought she would be carrying the result of that night in her body.

"Well, I can tell you how. The who is the issue," Iona said, clicking buttons on the machine, taking pictures, and measuring. "This isn't Sasuke Uchiha's baby, is it?"

Sakura finally tore her eyes away from the screen. "What? No!" she shouted, and Iona smiled.

"Just covering my bases. The accusations are going to be rough. Were you raped?" Iona pulled the ultrasound from Sakura.

Her eyes snapped towards the screen, and the loss of the only way she could see the baby growing inside her. Moving, waving fingers, small mouth breathing in.

"No," Sakura said, to both the loss of image and the accusation. Suddenly, Iona's words hit her. "No. I wasn't raped."

Sakura didn't know why she said it. It would have been easier to say that she had—but then it would have felt like a betrayal. To herself, to Pain, to the baby inside of her.

"I was afraid you would say that," Iona murmured, and handed Sakura a strip of photos. Sakura eagerly grasped at them, and looked over each one rapidly.

"I'm not imagining this," she said, as Iona cleaned up and sat down, writing in Sakura's chart.

"No you are not," Iona replied, eyeing Sakura as she sat up on the exam table. "And I'm here for you to talk if you need to. I'm not going to pry, as much as I may want to, because I know the look on your face. I've been there, and I'm still not ready to talk about it. Now, about prenatal and planning—"

"Thank you," Sakura interrupted, and held the pictures close to her chest. "So much. You have no idea."

Iona's jaw worked and reworked, before she smiled. "I know. More than you think. I know."

Sakura held up her hand before Iona continued. "I don't mean to interrupt, but… when will I know the gender?"

Sakura couldn't think, she could barely speak. The thought of Pain's child growing inside of her was enough to make her want to run far away from Konoha, because this child wasn't safe here. She wasn't safe here, and neither was Amaya. Her heart clenched for the millionth time today, and Sakura thought she was going to fall apart then and there.

Iona laughed. "Did I forget?" she said, rolling her eyes, and rolling over next to Sakura. She took the pictures, looking over them carefully, before she finally pointed to one, labeled on the side.

"It's a boy."

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I find it hard writing the in-between stuff, so I hope it wasn't too painful to read.

Please let me know! Review! I enjoy reading your reviews, even if they are just a couple of words. They help me keep writing; they give me inspiration!

Thanks everyone!

Review!

~Adoration