Happy New Year Emma! I'm posting a whole bunch of chapters for you today! (I don't think anyone else is actually reading this…)

While Mercedes was going through one of the most miserable weeks of her life, Sam's life wasn't being a bed of roses either.

It was all Stacey's fault. She'd spent the whole weekend being really clingy. She kept wanting him to hold her and wouldn't settle unless he was around. He'd had to resort to allowing her sit curled up on his lap watching movies on the couch while he busied himself scribbling character and animation ideas for Ollie's game in his notebook.

By Monday the reason for her erratic behavior became apparent. She had strep throat.

By Wednesday, just as she was bouncing into recovery, Sam also developed his own ragingly painful spotty throat. His grandma had gone into full nursing mode despite being retired and despite his protests refused to let him go to school.

All his protests of Wednesday were forgotten by Thursday when he really did start to feel bad and started throwing up.

The worst part was the insomnia, being wide awake in the middle of the night because each swallow of saliva was agonizing and instead of taking half a second it was taking about three!

He sighed, turned over in his bed and stared up into the darkness, thinking about the last time that he was sick...

Flashback begins:

Sam woke up with a start. He had no idea why he had woken but here he was.

The motel was dark, his head was pounding and his body ached. He was lying on his back and he tried hard to focus on the dark shadow of the room fan on the ceiling.

But he wasn't in his bed and he wasn't alone!

Slowly the evening's events filtered through into his heavy foggy brain.

He was sick. He could practically feel the germs swimming through his body, causing chaos wherever they reached. Yes that was it! He was in the kid's bed. Work had sent him home early. He'd run straight into the shower and then Mercedes had made him some hot choco-

Mercedes!

Although he hadn't yet moved an inch since waking he still froze.

That would explain why the sound of breathing he could hear was different than usual.

He moved his eyes first, peripherally seeing the outline of a person but not enough. He turned his head very slowly and there she was, fast asleep on top of the covers beside him. Her arm was flung around Stacy who was snuggled against the softness of her breasts, also asleep. He felt a pang of jealousy for his sister. That position looked damn comfortable. And, well… hot!

The memories continued to flood back, the kids fighting to lie next to him and Mercedes sternly commanding them to stay still while she gave him the hot drink and the medicine. He liked seeing her take charge. And the kids had hung on her every word. It had also belonged to the category of 'hot'! He remembered her nervously sitting far away and Stacy urging her to come closer. He remembered her tenderly smoothing the covers over him before laying down next to him, but on top of the covers. She'd looked so nervous but he couldn't fathom why.

And now here she was, her face slightly towards him. Her breathing slow, deep and regular. Her breath softly warm against his cheek.

He turned towards her slightly for a closer look. It was difficult because the way she was lying on the covers had trapped him slightly and he didn't want to move her and wake either her or Stacy.

Her face was beautifully serene. Up until this point he'd never really noticed how long her eye lashes were. They were just as long as Stacey's. And she was wearing no makeup so this wasn't simply the clumped effect of mascara. The skin on her face was smooth and flawless, just screaming to be caressed. Her mouth was open very slightly as she breathed. He smiled at her lips. They were a perfect complement to his. But being black nobody would think a thing of her having them. It was him who seemed to have the disproportionate lips. But her lips looked so kissable. There was the faintest trace of lip gloss, but mostly it had come off with the course of time. Out of nowhere he wondered what it would taste like. Quinn had gone through a phase of wearing a chocolate one but the taste had been totally artificial and he really hadn't been keen on it.

He imagined Mercedes going for something fruity.

Why the hell was he suddenly thinking of kissing his friend? It's not like they flirted or anything. She was just his friend. Okay so she just also happened to be pretty hot with a great ass which he enjoyed staring at whenever she thought he wasn't looking…

Again he froze. He watched as her eyelids flickered with whatever dream she was having. She stirred very slightly, sighing softly and breaking into a radiant smile before turning fractionally closer to him. 'I do too!' The words coming from her mouth were barely a whisper followed by a soft moan that hit him right below the waist.

Mailman! Think of Finn, Bieste and Mailman!

Whatever dream she was having it had to be good!

Even though her movement was small, it caused a lock of her hair to fall forwards onto her face. Without thinking he reached and smoothed it back behind her ear, his fingers tingling with the fact that he had just touched her. They wanted to continue and caress her cheek but he knew that would be wrong. That wasn't what their friendship was about. And their position on the bed was way too intimate.

Out of nowhere another wave of tiredness washed over him. He turned his body slightly more towards Mercedes, tilted his head even closer to her and drifted back off to sleep, the regular feel of her breath on her cheek soothing him.

Flashback ends.

Sam smiled at the wasted opportunity of being on a bed with Mercedes.

Well, actually, it wasn't really wasted. At that point there was nothing actually going on between them. That was for Stevie to point out a few days later. And besides, the kids were in the room. Few things were greater cockblockers than the presence of younger siblings.

He often thought back to times with Mercedes, before they were an item, and wondered what exactly their feelings were for each other at the time. Yes he'd needed to be hit on the head with a sledgehammer to see sense, but hindsight had revealed it was all under his nose the whole time. He'd just been so caught up with life that he'd failed to notice.

But now every moment with Mercedes ran through his head and he analyzed them intently, trying to work out their feelings, and if anything could have been said and done to make their parting less difficult.

But what they had was beyond special.

Yes she was rebounding with some stupid jock, but deep down he knew he still had her heart.

"You should have seen it! I thought the guy's head was going to snap off when her fist connected with his jaw!"

Sam chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck and craned his head closer to the video Skype screen on his laptop. Kurt had been excitedly filling him in on the events of the previous day. Within the last few moments he'd been through a myriad of emotions including pure white rage when he had heard about Shane's behavior in the locker room. Kurt had had to shout at him to finish listening and not grab his keys and drive straight back to Lima to inflict some pain.

And now he was ecstatically happy. Has diva had sorted it herself, as only she could do. And that's just one of the reasons he loved her.

Despite everything.

His only wish would've been to be there to see it for himself, and get a few punches in of his own for good measure. Nobody messes with Mercedes Jones!

"And how's everyone else?"

"They're fine. They still talk about you. But as you're no longer 'on Facebook' they can't stay in touch. How long are you planning to keep this up for anyway?"

Sam shrugged before running his fingers nervously through his hair with a sigh. "I don't know. It's just easier to avoid everyone than it is to deal with all of their questions. And worse still, the sympathy."

"That won't happen Sam!"

"You know it will Kurt. And I'll probably end up hitting somebody and getting hated for it!"

"I can't imagine you doing that."

"I bet until yesterday you couldn't imagine Mercedes punching the lights out of a massive football player either!"

Kurt grinned and nodded slowly. "Actually, I think you may have a point there..."

"SAM, OLLIE'S HERE! DO YOU FEEL WELL ENOUGH FOR VISITORS?" His mom was so loud even Kurt could hear down the computer and he grinned.

"I forgot that your tiny mom can belt her voice when she wants to."

Sam nodded. "Yeah. And so can Stacy! Hold on a sec-" He opened his door and yelled in not quite such a belt with his still delicate throat, "Sure mom. Tell him to come on up!"

When he got back to the computer he could see that Kurt had his phone in his hand. "Anyway, I'd better go. Blaine will be here in a minute. Hope you feel better soon!"

"Thanks. And say hi to Blaine for me."

"I will. You must be Ollie!" Kurt waved at the ginger haired guy who had walked in the room, looking curiously at the computer.

Sam grinned. "Ollie this is Kurt. Kurt... Ollie!"

"Hi. Great to put a face to the name!" He grinned shyly at the screen.

"The feeling's mutual! Great chatting to you Sam and Carole hopes you feel better soon too."

"Tell him thanks. And thanks to you for telling me about Cedes. I feel so much better hearing about it from you."

"No problem. Just because you're stuck out in Tennessee, doesn't mean you have to miss out on all the Lima gossip!"

"Definitely!"

"Ok, I hear Blaine at the door so I'm logging out. See ya!"

Kurt signed off and Sam turned to smile at Ollie who had settled on his bed. "So how was school?"

"The usual war zone. I picked you up the math homework coz I know you really want it!"

Sam replied with an eye roll. "Yeah, thanks! Let me at least enjoy the missing Math part of being sick!"

Ollie laughed. "And I brought you some grapes!"

"Grapes?"

"Yeah. Isn't that what you're supposed to take to people when they're ill?"

Sam shrugged. "I dunno. But my throat hurts less today and I'm pretty hungry so pass them over!"

Ollie chucked him the small brown paper bag and Sam started eating after confirming that they were definitely seedless and already washed.

"So what's all the gossip from Ohio?"

Sam grinned. "My Mercedes just broke up with her loser boyfriend by kneeing him in the balls and flooring him with a right hook. Then she went and bitch slapped the McKinley version of Krystal!"

Ollie looked impressed.

"And that's why I love her!" Sam chuckled.

Ollie shot him a thoughtful look. "You really do don't you!"

Sam sucked and chewed a grape slowly, much as he had with the potato chip in New York when he suddenly realized that he needed to take his own advice to Finn on 'going for it!'

"Look it's over now anyway. She clearly hates me for leaving so there's no point in my pining about it. She's moved on and so should I. Do you think that Krystal will still have me after that bathroom fiasco?"

Ollie wasn't sure how to take that one but fortunately Sam wasn't expecting a response when he'd been doing his best attempt at wry British humor. "The truth is, if it were up to me I'd drive back to Lima tonight and sleep in a tent in the park if it meant I could be with her again. But reality bites, and she has sharp vicious little teeth!"

"Reality indeed!" His friend nodded, "You still haven't told me the whole story about you and this girl yet. What was it that made you so crazy about her?"

Sam spent the next hour telling his friend all about Mercedes, her singing, prom, their friendship and how they'd gotten together in New York. "She's not like other girls Ollie. She gets me and I get her. At least I thought I did until..." his voice drifted off. He still found it hard to talk about what had happened. The way things had ended. It didn't make sense. It hadn't ended badly. They had parted on good terms and she had understood. Or at least he thought that she had. She wouldn't have kissed him goodbye if she was mad at him. Maybe he shouldn't have told her that he loved her. But there was no way that she could have heard. The door was shut before he had finished and it was in Na'vi anyway.

Ollie just sat and quietly listened. He'd never been in love before and couldn't begin to imagine the emotional turmoil it could cause.

"So do you think I did the right thing in breaking it off with her when I left?"

Like Kurt, he had no idea what to say and remained silent.

"Because i regret it big time! I should have fought for her. We're only young but we could have made it work. At the time I figured we would stay in touch and by the time we got to college we would find a way to get back together. I would work my butt off to get a scholarship and I'd follow her to the ends of the world if necessary. How did it all go so wrong?" Sam could feel tears prickling the back of his eyes and there was no way to let them out. He'd already cried enough in front of Kurt in the week before he had left Lima. He wasn't about to make another guy 'grow a pair of ovaries' even if he was gay! Suddenly Sam didn't want to talk about it anymore. "I propose a subject change! I know we're supposed to be doing math, but as computer programming is just like math I need to show you some game ideas I've had..."

Opening up to Ollie made Sam think long and hard about Mercedes. Why exactly was he still sitting pining when she was so clearly getting on with her own life?

Kurt had insisted that Mercedes' erratic behavior was as a result of her unresolved feelings for him but now he wasn't entirely convinced by that.

Sam knew that he'd been living in a bubble. There were several issues that he himself needed to sort out. As well as a certain degree of denial that he'd been going through with Mercedes, things had also been difficult with his dad. Since the accident Sam had refused to talk to him. Finally his mom had sat him down and explained that it wasn't good for the kids to be around such tension when they'd already been through so much change. He missed his long heart to heart chats with his mom and much as he resisted, he knew he needed this one. He still hadn't told her the real reason for the hatred of his dad, the fact that he'd made racist and hurtful comments about Mercedes and homophobic ones about Kurt. He wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone. But he had promised her that he would try harder. He wouldn't ignore his dad when the kids were around and would even speak to him when absolutely necessary. He just avoided any extra contact with him.

Even now he still blamed his dad for the move. The move that had taken him away from his friends and the love of his life. His dad hadn't wanted him to be with Mercedes and now he wasn't. The man had won and Sam could never forgive him for that. He could never forgive him for hurting his family, for stealing the little they had to support his alcohol habit and for breaking his mom's heart by not being the man that she fell in love with.

No. Sam Evans had a lot on his mind. A lot of things that he tried hard to push aside by working out in the gym, taking daily runs and generally avoiding 'home' as much as possible when his dad was around.

He knew that part of his dad's therapy was to try and make things right with the people that he'd hurt. But he had tried that once before and failed spectacularly. Now that trust was broken Sam wasn't sure if they would ever be able to get it back. He wanted to, but right now the hurt was too raw and too deep.

He also knew that Mercedes would be disappointed in him too. She would be the first to urge him to be forgiving. But he wasn't ready to do that yet.

So as he took his daily run to clear his head, Sam Evans decided that he was going to stop his inner fighting and start taking steps towards becoming the better man that he knew he should be.