Chapter 11 - A Real Scandal
Kurt kept a decent distance between himself and Sebastian, but he could keep the memory of the first dream they shared from entering his mind. The dream where Sebastian had pulled him close against his body and dirty danced with him on a dark, smoky dance floor. He swayed his hips to the rhythm of the music, his eyes locked with Sebastian's trying desperately to find some trace of the boy from his dreams.
With Blaine gone, he wanted to give in to the temptation. His eyes scanned the area, looking for any signs of the overly gelled Hobbit. Not seeing him, Sebastian decided to take one small risk. No risk no reward after all - right? He stepped close to Kurt. He pulled him closer by those sinful hips. "Feels like deja vu," he said softly, his voice barely loud enough to be heard over the music.
Kurt was shocked when his hips were suddenly pulled flush against Sebastian's, a small squeak of surprise escaped his lips. He thought he heard Sebastian say something, but it was drowned out by the volume of the music. He looked around the club in a panic for Blaine and David, but couldn't see either. He made a calculated risk then too. Grabbing that ridiculous popped collar he pulled Sebastian's head down and yelled in his ear, "I have a boyfriend, a boyfriend you want to fuck." He waited for a heartbeat caught in limbo hoping Sebastian would refute the statement, afraid to breathe, before shoving Sebastian roughly away.
He was forced to take a step back when shoved. He didn't stay gone long. He stepped back to Kurt, and pulled him close leaning down so that the boy would be able to hear his words. "It's cute that you think that, Princess, but he's just an obstacle now, the charm has worn off," Sebastian quipped.
Kurt shook his head leveling Sebastian with a questioning look as he mouthed, "Princess?" He was sure that statement had a double meaning. He was caught, caught by Sebastian's magnetic emerald eyes. "Stay away from Blaine," Kurt said, but the threat had no bite and no pull.
Sebastian shrugged. "If the tiara fits," he retorted. "Blaine is free to befriend whoever he wants. I highly doubt you want to be one of those controlling types, and are you really that worried that I could steal him from you? I mean if things are so great between you then no matter what I say there should be no effect. Words are harmless - right?" he replied in a bored tone because next to Kurt Blaine seemed pitiful. Oh Blaine looked good, but he was all show and no action. Boring. Sebastian wondered just how Kurt could stand to be around that. He still needed an angle to work though...Fucking complications.
He stepped away from Sebastian and walked to the bar leaning forward in that same suggestive way he'd done in the first dream, Kurt ordered a bottle of water. When he got it, he unscrewed the cap and took a large swig. Just then Blaine and David showed up from the bathroom.
"Wanted to make sure he would be alright," David explained as he handed off a very drunk Blaine to Kurt. He shot Kurt a sympathetic look and Kurt returned one of thanks in David's direction. Sebastian was prowling towards the bar and that was the last thing Kurt needed right now. He was just waiting to be ridiculed for something or other.
He looked at the situation. Mentally, Sebastian began to calculate the odds. They were not in his favor. Right then...Neutrality. "Boys…Are we having fun?" he inquired, he tried to keep the scathing bite from his tone. He didn't like Cubby, didn't like Blaine - not really. He would play the game, just to keep Kurt on his toes. However, even if Blaine threw himself at Sebastian, at this point, Sebastian wouldn't take him up on it. Just no. Kurt didn't need to know that. He didn't know what to make of this Kurt either. He wanted his Red, damn it. So naturally, Sebastian was just a little irritated.
The night had been long and drawn out and really Kurt had stopped having fun from the moment Sebastian had started dancing with Blaine. He put on his best show smile, however. "I think it's past my bedtime," he said loud enough for Sebastian and David to hear as he came to Blaine's rescue. "What do you say honey? Shall we go home and go to bed?" He shot a look in Sebastian's direction to see if the boy accepted the gauntlet he'd just thrown.
Blaine turned those sweet drunk eyes on Kurt and broke his heart just like he broke it the first time he was drunk and kissed Rachel. 'Why do you do this to yourself, my love?' Kurt thought as he waited for Sebastian and David to make their good byes.
"Should have known you'd turn into a pumpkin before the party was over, Princess," Sebastian quipped. He looked to Blaine. "Try to have a good night, even if you'll be bereft my company," he said in a tone that's sure to get under Kurt's skin. Blaine was just an obstacle to be overcome. In the meantime, he'd make a good target, at least.
Once the night had wound down, Kurt and Blaine decided to leave. "This is the best night of my life," Blaine enthused when they found themselves outside of Scandals. He leaned against Kurt walking a little crooked. "I wanna live here. I just wanna live here and make art and just help people…"
"You can certainly help people make fires with your breath," Kurt tried to tease away Blaine's very inebriated state. He felt like he was grinning to stop himself from sobbing. Blaine was drunk. Sebastian was an asshole. And, Kurt...Kurt was so over all of it. He tried to be tolerant of his drunkenness though all he really accomplished was ignoring it for the most part.
"Come on...I only had one beer," Blaine said the tone of his voice beginning to sound like 'who are you, my mother.' "Kiss me...Kiss me," Blaine demanded as he advanced on Kurt.
"Oh no..." Kurt said jokingly at first and then more firmly, "no. No, no, no, no, come on," Kurt said trying to coax Blaine into the back seat of the car, "come on. You're riding in the back. Come on. Lay down," Kurt tried to sound commanding and authoritative.
"All right...All right," Blaine seemed like he was going to concede the battle.
"Less likely to throw up that way," Kurt commented as he tried to maneuver Blaine into the back of the Navigator. Instead, Blaine grabbed onto Kurt's hips and dragged Kurt on top of him more than a little roughly.
"Woah...woah...Blaine...Alright, alright...Hands...Woah hands," Kurt babbled a bit panicked as Blaine's drunken hands roamed over his body. The fear and apprehension was now burning in Kurt's eyes. Blaine had other ideas it seemed, and pulled Kurt down on top of him. It was then that everything changed. Kurt told him no, first somewhat laughingly and then when Blaine didn't seem to get it his tone turned serious. Kurt wasn't expecting the struggle, wasn't expecting his boyfriend to make him feel so scared, but it happened.
"Hey Kurt, let's just do it. I want you. I want you so bad," Blaine said as he looked at his boyfriend through a drunken, alcoholic haze. He was so far gone he wasn't even able to compute the fear in Kurt's eyes or in his voice as Kurt repeatedly told him 'no.'
"Stop it. Stop it," Kurt insisted half begging, half whining. Inside of Kurt, a panic was rising. Blaine, his sweet, nice, naive boyfriend had just turned into the Big Bad Wolf. Kurt was now feeling worried. He loved Blaine, he did, but this - this was not Blaine and he did not like this drunken idiot that had taken Blaine's place. He was scared and he was hurt and he was getting pissed.
"I know you wanted to do it in a field of lilacs with Sting playing in the background," Blaine said, "but who cares about that? It's all about us, right?"
Those careless words turned all that worry and fear into fury. "Right - it's about us, which is why I don't want to do it on a night you spent half of dancing with another guy..." 'The guy of my dreams,' Kurt thought and covered his thoughts quickly by adding his tone biting, "and that you're not sober enough to remember the next day." The pain and rage he felt inside painted on his face for all the world to see.
Blaine, too drunk to temper his words, allowed his selfish side to show as he inquired in a bewildered tone of voice, "why are you yelling at me?" Implying, of course, that he had done nothing wrong.
Blaine's attitude broke something inside of Kurt and he blazed back, "because I've never felt less like being intimate with someone, and either you can't tell or you don't care."
Blaine let out and aggravated huff and leveled Kurt with a look that read, 'you're acting like a child.' He pushed past Kurt and began to walk away.
Kurt couldn't contain the huff that escaped his own lips. "Where are you going?" he whined frustrated and hurt.
"I'm sorry if I'm trying to be spontaneous and fun," Blaine became defensive as he threw his hands in the air in frustration, his attitude clearly implying that this was all Kurt's fault. He let his hands drop to the sides and gave Kurt another look that read, 'way to go Kurt.'
Kurt fired back one of his own which unmistakable said, 'you can't be serious.' He let the breath he was holding go and took another one a tiny sob escaped his lips. Blaine's face had a pained expression on it as well. He wanted to say something to Kurt. He knew then that he was way out of line and that he'd overstepped, but the alcohol and his pride stopped him from doing so. He knew it was a rotten and childish thing to do, but for now, for now there was satisfaction in letting Kurt feel guilty. "I think I'm just going to walk home," Blaine said exhibiting his petulance and immaturity beautifully.
Kurt was torn in that moment. He didn't want Blaine to walk home alone in the wee hours of the morning when he was drunk, but, at the same time, he was hurt and because Blaine was drunk he had no way of guaranteeing that there would not be a repeat performance of the travesty that had just occurred. What a crappy night.
All he wanted was for his boyfriend to be...He shook his head before he could finish that thought. No, what he wanted, he was now almost positive did not exist. Further interactions with Sebastian had begun to cement that. No matter what happened in his dreams, any resemblance that Sebastian bore to his Wolf had to be purely coincidental. Why else was there such a disparity in the actions of Wolf and Sebastian?
He had come out tonight hoping to live a little. The idea of a gay bar near Lima was tempting - at least there was some of his culture here, but he had been woefully disappointed. He needed to remember that Lima was not New York. These weren't going to be beautiful gay men. These were small town Ohio gay men. They looked like the truck drivers and other plebeians. Still at least it was something, he supposed.
Then, his boyfriend had proceeded to get drunk and dance with the pretentious jerk that had the gall to walk around looking like his Wolf. Lovely! Seeing David again hadn't been wholly terrible, though it did bring back unfortunate memories. Still it was nice to see that David was coming to terms with everything that had happened and was making progress towards accepting himself and maybe even starting to like himself. It was sad that coming to that knowledge was the high point of this unfortunate night.
The snarky Warbler had dared to dance with him. Blaine had gotten himself nearly falling down drunk and then preceded to attempt to force himself on Kurt. Worst night he'd had in a very long time. Was it so wrong that he wanted his first time to be special? Perhaps had he and Blaine been sexually active for a while now he might have considered it were Blaine sober, but he would never be able to forgive himself for allowing sex to be made meaningless by drink. He mattered damn it.
Kurt sat there on the edge of the back seat of the Navigator, running a hand through his thoroughly mussed hair. He willed himself to put all that aside, to put all the worry and concern for Blaine aside and all the hurt and other negative emotions this night had conjured aside so that he could calm down enough to drive home. He would text Blaine in the morning and until then he couldn't allow himself to worry further. He wanted to, because he loved Blaine, but he was exhausted and hurt and he just wanted to go home and curl up in his own bed and that was it.
He sat there for several minutes before finally feeling okay enough to drive. He didn't feel like he was going to immediately burst into tears or spend the rest of his night slowly following Blaine back to wherever it was the inebriated boy was headed. "Just get yourself home Kurt," he silently told himself as he got out of the back seat, shut the door and got in the driver's seat flicking his eyes upward briefly and cursing the Universe for his rotten luck this night. He sat there with the door closed for a moment before turning the key in the ignition. He turned off the radio and started to make his way home.