Tessie trudged up to a little restaurant in a half-forgotten village in the middle of nowhere. "After asking . . . several h-u-n-d-r-e-d people . . . along the way . . . I have finally found her," Tessie panted. She pointed dramatically. "Legendary healer of the Great Shinobi Three, Lady Tsunade!"
A blonde lady at a gambling table whipped around. "Who wants to know?"
"Tessie, top-notch reporter, my lady. I'm here to see how the Three Greats answer this question—what makes a ninja a ninja?"
"The headband," Lady Tsunade said distractedly. She went back to her dice game.
". . . The headband? That's all?" Tessie said, hoping for more.
"Yup," Lady Tsunade said.
"But . . . but you're one of the Legendary Shinobi—" a disappointed Tessie began.
Lady Tsunade turned to face Tessie. "Listen, kid. A ninja is a ninja, like a reporter is a reporter. You do your job, you get paid, and that's it. Collect your money and don't die. Just staying alive is what makes a ninja great these days." She returned to the game.
"Well . . . there you have it, folks," Tessie finished lamely. She hesitated for a minute, then left.