Things get a little worse before they get better. Intense chapter.

Chapter 11.

Brittany felt the ground rumble beneath her. Darkness gave way to flashes of lightning and her gasp of fear was drowned out by a deafening crash of thunder. Biting down on her bottom lip, Brittany covered her ears with her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't stop running, not once taking a break, blindly going on. Her breath caught painfully in her chest as her feet slammed against the pavement, splashing up waves of water.

She could feel the heat radiating off the flames as they continued to dance around her. Her steps felt heavy, as she was so sore, so exhausted. A sudden stabbing, excruciating agony shooting through her abdomen made her come to an abrupt stop. Brittany's blue eyes shot open, her breathing becoming shallower. She slowly looked down and her stomach lurched, almost causing her to throw up. There was blood everywhere. It was hard to tell which part of her clothes was soaked with blood and which part was only soaked from the rain.

"Santana!" Brittany cried out desperately, her tears blending in with the rain as they slid down her pale cheeks. "Where are you?"

She hunched in on herself and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Her hands were freezing and trembling uncontrollably. The fire was getting closer and she knew that she had to run but her feet wouldn't cooperate. A groan escaped her throat as she dropped to her knees, losing all control over herself as she pounded her fists on the ground.

"Damn it, Santana!" She sobbed, feeling the skin of her hands split as they collided with the hard surface over and over again. Her movements became weaker until she gave up and curled into a fetal position, trying to protect herself from what was about to come. She could barely hear her own whimpers over the constant thunder. "San, please! I'm sorry…"

A sudden ear-piercing scream cut through the air and Brittany flinched. Her eyes darted around until they locked with familiar brown ones and she cried out in relief. Santana ran towards her when she tripped over something and landed on the ground face first. Brittany tried to call out a warning but the noise of the thunder drowned out any words she yelled.

She watched in horror as the flames engulfed Santana from behind, burning the flesh from her bones. Brittany tried to get to her feet but more pains made her double over. The screams that chilled her to the core continued until everything suddenly went deadly silent around her. The thunder had stopped and the fire had died down. Brittany finally managed to pull herself upright and stumbled her way to where Santana was lying, tripping over dead bodies that littered the ground, having appeared out of nowhere.

"Santana!" She cried as she fell to her knees.

Santana slowly lifted her head and Brittany gasped at the sight that was revealed. Her face had been all but sliced off, the flesh hanging by threads, and her eyes were empty and heartless. Brittany watched in shock as the face that she hardly recognized suddenly morphed into that of Jess'. In one quick movement, Brittany found herself pinned to the ground with Jess' hands wrapped tightly around her neck. She panted harshly, staring up into dark, angry eyes as a cold voice chanted the same words over and over again.

"You deserve this! You deserve this! You deserve this! You-…"

Santana shot up with a jolt at the sound of screaming. It took her a moment to realize that the sound was coming from Brittany who was drenched in sweat and wildly thrashing around in her sleep. She had tears covering her face and was now whimpering broken, incomprehensible words as her body convulsed violently from time to time. Santana felt her heart leap in her throat and she quickly shook the blonde's shoulder, desperate to end the nightmare that was causing her so much pain.

"Brittany." She said, brushing away a strand of hair that was plastered against Brittany's sweaty face. Brittany grunted and struggled against her grip, attempting to roll away from her. Santana quickly held the blonde's arms down to keep her from hurting herself and tried again. "Brittany, wake up."

Santana felt a rush of relief when Brittany's blue eyes shot open but her relief was short lived when Brittany pushed her away with newfound strength and threw herself forward before emptying the contents of her stomach on the bed. Santana watched her girlfriend with wide eyes and reached out to place a hand on Brittany's shoulder but Brittany jumped in fright and fell out of bed in the process, hurriedly scrambling away until her back hit the wall.

It took a moment for Santana's mind to register what was happening. She quickly slipped out of bed as well and looked at Brittany who was now huddled in the corner, her hands covering her ears. This was exactly like the first time Santana had witnessed one of Brittany's panic attacks and her heart clenched painfully in her chest. The blonde was wheezing and her chest was moving quickly in time with her rapid breathing. Her entire body was shaking and she had her face buried in her knees.

With everything that was going on, Santana had momentarily forgotten that they were staying with Brittany's parents until they suddenly barged into the room, having heard the commotion. Santana watched as two pair of blue eyes took in the sight of their daughter before Susan knelt down in front of Brittany's shaking form. Santana could instantly tell that this wasn't the first time Brittany's parents had been in this situation either and that thought made her heart feel heavy.

"Honey." Susan murmured, placing her hands on Brittany's knees and squeezing. Brittany's wheezing started to increase and she tried to shift away from her mom, showing no signs of hearing her. "You're okay, Brittany. It's just me. It's just mom."

Santana felt tears well up in her own eyes. Brittany started rocking back and forth a little faster while whining softly, her mind still stuck somewhere between reality and nightmare. Susan's eyes flickered between Santana and Martin as she was growing more desperate with each passing second.

Santana finally broke out of her stupor and crossed the room, kneeling down in front Brittany. She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked at Susan. "Let me try."

Susan nodded and backed up a little to give her some room.

"Brittany, please look at me." Santana pleaded, gently prying Brittany's hands off her ears, squeezing firmly when Brittany let out a whimper of protest. Brittany pulled her hands out of Santana's grasp and clutched onto her knees so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "You're safe, Britt. Come back to me."

Brittany wasn't listening and Santana felt panic build up inside of her. She gently brushed the hair away from her girlfriend's forehead and massaged the back of her neck, leaning down to speak softly into her ear. "Listen to me, babe, try to focus on my voice." Brittany sucked in another painful breath and Santana winced along with her before trying again. "Okay, it's okay. Can you hear me, Britt? It's Santana."

"Should I call an ambulance?" Martin asked shakily, looking incredibly concerned. "She's never been this… bad."

"I don't know." Santana replied, unsure. She focused her attention on Brittany again and pulled her closer until she was practically draped over her lap. Brittany's skin felt clammy when Santana ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to somehow get through to her. "I know you're scared, Britt, but please try to breathe."

Brittany coughed a little and slightly lifted her head, obviously trying to comply. Santana almost cried in relief because Brittany was at least starting to respond to her words. She gently stroked the back of her fingers down the side of Brittany's face in an attempt to soothe her. "Please open your eyes, Brittany. You're safe here. I promise."

After a long moment, Brittany slowly opened her eyes, revealing baby blues that reflected nothing but pain and fear. Saying that Santana's heart was breaking would be an understatement.

"Look into my eyes, sweetheart." She coaxed gently, waiting until Brittany's eyes nervously flickered up to hers. "That's my girl. You're okay, I'm okay, everyone's okay."

Brittany blinked hard at those words, her glassy eyes trying to focus. "S-San?"

"I'm right here, Britt." Santana told her softly, covering Brittany's hands with her own and trying to loosen the death grip Brittany had on her knees. "You were having a nightmare but it's over now. You don't have to be afraid. We're at your parents' house, remember? Everything's fine."

Brittany's breathing finally started to slow down a little and her shoulders slumped a bit. Santana pulled her into her arms and began to hum softly in her ear, threading her fingers through her hair and kissing the top of her head.

Brittany's entire body ached and she felt exhausted. Her clothes were damp with sweat and plastered to her skin. She buried her face into Santana's shoulder, clinging to her, too embarrassed to do anything else.

"Don't leave me." She whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing on her breathing, trying to block out the screams that were still faintly echoing in her head. "I-I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for." Santana shushed her, a few tears escaping her own eyes. She smiled softly when she felt Brittany weakly tug on her shirt, trying to pull her even closer, and she tightened her arms around the blonde. "Take it easy, babe. I'm not going anywhere."

They sat there like that for a while until Brittany calmed down a little and Santana slightly pulled back, taking her face into her hands. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? You're soaked in sweat."

Brittany's head was pounding but she nodded anyway. Santana slowly helped the blonde to her feet, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist to keep her steady. Her eyes met Martin's and he nodded at her, silently trying to show her his appreciation. Santana returned the nod while Brittany kept her head lowered, obviously embarrassed about what had happened.

"I'll clean the bed." Susan said softly, seemingly unsure of what to do but desperate to do something.

Santana thanked her quietly and slowly led Brittany into the bathroom. Brittany was still trembling so Santana quickly sat her down on the toilet seat and knelt down in front of her, placing her hands on her thighs. "I'm going to run you a bath. Is that alright?"

Brittany blinked a few times and nodded weakly. Santana stood up straight and placed a soft kiss on Brittany's forehead before moving away to fill the tub with water. A shiver ran through Brittany's body and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She was so cold and tired. "San?"

"I'm here, Britt." Santana was in front of Brittany again in a matter of seconds and Brittany breathed out a sigh of relief. Santana wiped the matted hair out of Brittany's eyes before moving down and gently caressing her girlfriend's cheek. "Let me help you undress."

Brittany bit her lip and held her breath in preparation, raising her arms to let Santana know that it was okay. Santana removed Brittany's shirt and Brittany immediately crossed her arms over her exposed chest, ducking her head down in embarrassement. Santana sighed sadly but didn't say anything.

When she hooked her thumbs into the hem of Brittany's sweatpants, Brittany tensed slightly. Santana blinked back the tears that abruptly sprang to her eyes and grabbed Brittany's hand, holding it tightly in her own. "It's okay, Brittany. Please trust me."

Brittany released a shaky breath and gave a small nod of confirmation. Santana tugged Brittany's pants down, revealing the scars on Brittany's thighs that she hadn't seen before. Brittany studied her reaction carefully but Santana's expression remained the same; soft and caring.

Santana gently ran her hands over the marred skin, trying to get Brittany to relax. "I'm going to take off your underwear, okay?"

Brittany clenched her jaw and nodded but still trembled as Santana curled her fingers around the hem of her underwear and slowly tugged them down her legs, waiting until she had stepped out of them before throwing them aside.

Fresh tears welled up in Brittany's tired eyes. She had never felt so vulnerable in her life. A sob escaped her quivering lips before she could stop it. "I-I'm so s-sorry, San."

"Hey," Santana whispered quickly, reaching out to cup Brittany's cheek in her hand. "Don't apologize for anything, baby. None of this is your fault." She held Brittany's gaze for a moment but it seemed like Brittany wasn't even listening to her. "Do you hear me, Brittany? I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Just let me take care of you."

She slowly helped Brittany stand up and Brittany gripped onto the sink to keep herself upright. Her legs felt shaky and she just wanted to go back to sleep. Santana slipped an arm around her waist and guided her to sit on the edge of the bathtub before slowly helping her in. Brittany closed her eyes, letting the warm water comfort her aching body.

Santana knelt down beside the bathtub and rested her arms on the edge, her face twisted in worry. She watched her girlfriend for a while and then cupped some water into her hands, using it to wet Brittany's hair. Brittany shivered a little and opened her eyes, anxiety clearly visible in her big blue orbs. Santana smiled softly, trying to reassure her, and poured some shampoo into her hands before gently starting to rub it into Brittany's long locks. Brittany relaxed slightly at the feeling of Santana's fingers massaging her scalp and her head lulled to the side lazily. She was so, so tired.

Santana unhooked the shower head and started to rinse Brittany off, washing the shampoo out of her hair. After she was finished, she placed her hand on Brittany's cheek and ran her thumb over her pale skin to get her attention. "Are you ready to get out?"

Brittany nodded and Santana stood up to grab a large, fluffy towel. She helped Brittany step out of the tub and gently started to dry her off, feeling the blonde's hands shake as she hesitantly placed them on her shoulders to keep herself steady. Santana inhaled deeply and bit down on her bottom lip hard to keep her tears at bay. She wished that there was something that she could do to let Brittany know that there was no need to feel embarrassed or insecure around her.

"I'll be right back, okay? I'm going to grab some clothes." Santana said, wrapping the towel around Brittany and sitting her down on the toilet seat. Brittany nodded slowly and Santana shot her another worried look before leaving the bathroom.

Santana returned a moment later and knelt down in front of Brittany, holding out a fresh pair of underwear and sweatpants for her to step into. She didn't even bother to ask Brittany if she needed help or not. Taking care of her girlfriend made her feel better. Once Brittany was dressed, Santana handed her a toothbrush and toothpaste. "Brush."

Brittany complied and began to brush her teeth, eager to wash the disgusting taste of sick out of her mouth. Afterwards, she took a few big gulps of water from the faucet before wiping her face with a hand towel. Santana watched her girlfriend silently. She didn't look close to fainting anymore but still pale. When Brittany slowly turned to Santana, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the taller girl. She didn't say anything and just held her, knowing there wasn't really anything she could say to make Brittany feel better.

After several moments, Santana pressed a kiss to Brittany's temple before speaking softly into her ear. "Come on, babe. Let's go back to bed."

Brittany nodded and allowed Santana to lead her back into her room. The bed had been remade and the window was open to let some fresh air in but Brittany's parents weren't there. They crawled into bed and Brittany lay down on her side while Santana positioned herself as the big spoon. She could feel the tension in Brittany's body when she pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. "It's okay. Try to get some sleep, Britt. I've got you."

Brittany relaxed into Santana's embrace and a few seconds later Santana realized that her exhausted girlfriend had fallen back asleep. Santana tightened her arms around her waist and let out a heavy sigh, a sudden rush over emotions washing over her.

A soft knock sounded before the door slowly creaked open, light spilling slowly into the dark room. Susan quietly made her way over to the bed and hovered over them, a concerned expression on her face. "Is she okay?"

Santana was silent for a moment and then answered the question truthfully. "I don't know."

Susan sighed sadly and reached out to gently stroke her hand over Brittany's face, lightly caressing her cheek. Brittany stirred a little, looking slightly troubled with her brow furrowed. Susan watched her daughter sleep for a moment and then stood up straight again. "Martin and I will be just down the hall if you need anything."

Santana nodded with a small smile and watched as Susan slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She nuzzled her nose in the back of Brittany's neck, inhaling her scent, and rested her hand on Brittany's chest. It was reassuring to feel the steady beating of Brittany's heart and she allowed her eyelids to flutter shut.

Brittany groggily rubbed her face and waited for her blurry vision to come into focus. The first thing that she noticed was the familiar feeling of Santana's arms wrapped around her. But then memories of last night pushed through her pounding headache and she suddenly felt sick from embarrassment. She carefully untangled herself from Santana's arms and sat up, leaning back against the headboard, her body stiff with panic.

Santana mumbled something unintelligible and rolled closer, resting her head on Brittany's lap and pressing her face into her stomach. Despite everything, Brittany couldn't help but smile softly. She brought her hand to Santana's head and slowly began to brush her fingers through her long, dark hair. It was her fault that Santana was so tired. She had kept everyone up last night. Brittany sighed and closed her eyes. She felt like crying but simply didn't have the energy to do so.

"Britt?" Santana whispered before slowly opening her eyes. Brittany quickly retracted her hand and rested it on the bed instead. With a tired groan, Santana lifted her head to meet Brittany's gaze. "Hi."

"Hi." Brittany echoed, nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

"How are you feeling?" Santana asked as she slowly pulled herself upright and mirrored Brittany's position against the headboard.

Brittany shrugged. "I'm good."

Santana raised her eyebrows and looked at her skeptically. She covered Brittany's hand with her own to stop her nervous movements. "Do you want to talk about what happened last night?" She asked softly.

Brittany's eyes briefly flickered up to Santana's and then back down to her lap. "I'm sorry that you had to see me like that."

"Britt, I meant it when I said that I'm always going to be here for you. Don't apologize for something you had no control over." Santana said, rubbing small circles on the back of Brittany's hand with her thumb. "I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens."

"It feels like I've been nothing but a burden to you." Brittany mumbled.

Santana clenched her jaw and cupped Brittany's chin with her free hand. "Don't you dare ever say that again, Brittany. You are not a burden and you never will be." She said firmly, staring directly into her eyes. "Have I done anything to make you feel that way?"

"No, but…"

"No buts." Santana interrupted her. "To me you're nothing short of amazing and don't you ever forget it."

Brittany sighed but didn't protest. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

Santana's brow furrowed in confusion. "What did I say?"

"You… you said that you loved me. Did you mean it?"

Santana tensed slightly. She couldn't remember saying that but that didn't make it any less true.

"Yes. I love you, Britt. It's okay if you d-" Santana was cut off by Brittany who wrapped her arms around her neck and connected their lips in a soft kiss. After pulling herself together, Santana kissed her back just as gently. When the two parted a few minutes later, Brittany smiled, a blush still on her face, and looked at Santana shyly.

"I love you too, Santana."

Santana smiled widely and leaned in to place another kiss on her lips.

Brittany slipped her hand into Santana's as they walked down the stairs. She could faintly hear the voices of her parents and when they entered the kitchen, they were both leaning against the counter with a serious expression on their face. Brittany could tell that they were both tired and guilt once again overwhelmed her. Their conversation fell silent and they both looked up.

"Good morning, girls." Susan greeted them softly. Concern was evident in her eyes when she looked at Brittany. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"I'm fine." Brittany said, forcing a small smile on her face.

Martin crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her for a moment before saying, "Look Brittany, about last night…"

Brittany clenched her jaw and exhaled angrily. She already knew what he was going to say. She didn't want to have this conversation again. "Dad, don't." She interrupted him before he had the chance to say anything else. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Martin pinched the bridge of his nose. "You need help, Brittany. I've been trying, everyone has been trying, but it's clearly not enough." He paused to take a deep breath. "It's been two years, bug. Your nightmares aren't getting any better and they're obviously deeply affecting you. You need to talk to someone. This is beyond us."

"I don't need a shrink." Brittany snapped, pulling her hand out of Santana's so she could clench it into a fist.

"Yes, you do. You need to talk to someone who can help you."

"No!"

"Britt…"

"I won't go! I'm not crazy!" Brittany stared at him with hard eyes, her voice getting sharper with each word. She recognized the stubborn set of his jaw, it was the same expression she had used so often herself, and she mimicked it without thought. "Seriously, I'm not."

"I'm not saying that you're crazy." Martin said in a surprisingly calm voice. "I'm saying that there is help out there for you and I think you should get it. Your mom and I love you so much, Brittany, and we're worried about you."

"No." Brittany growled as hot, angry tears started to fall from her eyes. "I'm tired of people telling me what to do!"

"Babe, please don't cry." Santana pleaded. "There's no shame in admitting that you need help, Britt."

"Don't, Santana." Brittany said, stubbornly shaking her head. "I don't need a shrink."

"Brittany…"

"Just leave me alone."

"Brittany." Santana spoke softly, helplessly. "Britt, just listen to me."

"Why? I don't need you to tell me how fucked up I am!" Brittany yelled, making Santana frown. She didn't think she had ever heard Brittany swear before and it made her realize how serious the situation was. "I don't need a damn shrink! I'm not crazy!"

"I know you're not crazy!" Santana yelled back, frustration getting the best of her. "Confiding in a therapist has nothing to do with being crazy. It's completely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about."

Brittany turned her face away so she didn't have to look at Santana. "I'm fine. I can handle it."

"You're not fine, Britt." Santana stepped closer to her. "And that doesn't make you crazy. You're far from crazy. You just need help and there's nothing wrong with that."

Brittany sagged against Santana, as if all the fight had drained out of her. Santana wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry." Brittany whispered, burying her face in Santana's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Santana shushed her gently. "Just try one session, Britt. If you feel like it doesn't help you, we can forget about it."

Brittany's expression softened and she pulled back slightly to look at Santana with tired eyes. "Fine." She whispered, letting her head fall to Santana's shoulder again. "Just one."

"Thank you." Santana exhaled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"What would you like for breakfast?" An incredibly relieved Susan spoke up after a few moments of silence. "I was thinking pancakes."

Brittany gave her a small smile. "That sounds great, mom."

"I'll make them, honey. You have a seat." Martin told his wife. "Can you help me, Santana?"

Santana nodded somewhat nervously. "Sure."

After Susan and Brittany had left the kitchen, Martin and Santana grabbed all the ingredients they needed to make the pancakes. They started to prepare them in silence, Santana carefully following Martin's instructions. She couldn't help but feel awkward around him. He didn't seem to like her very much already so she stayed silent out of fear of saying the wrong things.

"I want to thank you for taking such good care of my daughter."

Santana was taken aback by Martin's sudden words. She licked her lips and chose her next words carefully. "You don't have to thank me, Mr. Pierce." She said softly, not even daring to glance at him and see his reaction. "I love Brittany and I'll always be here for her."

Martin continued to stare at the pan, flipping the pancakes as a subtle smile formed on his lips. "You know, Brittany fell into a state of depression after the accident. She wouldn't sleep, eat or even talk for weeks." Santana's chest tightened at the mental image his words brought to her mind. "My little girl was slipping away right before my eyes and I had no idea how to help her. It was terrifying to see her like that."

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't know what to say, Mr. Pierce."

"I haven't seen her smile like this in a very long time and it makes me so happy." Martin continued, turning off the stove and putting the last pancake on the plate. "You're the reason for that smile."

Santana didn't know what to say. Martin turned to face her, his expression much softer than usual.

"I apologize for being so hard on you, Santana. You didn't deserve that." He admitted softly. "I just don't want Brittany to get hurt. It would kill me to see the light disappear from her eyes again." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I can tell that you truly love my daughter, you have proved that by now, and I trust you to look after her."

"I will." Santana said quickly.

Martin smiled a little. "We started off on the wrong foot and that's entirely my fault. I was hoping we could start over."

Santana nodded. "I'd like that, Mr. Pierce."

"Thank you." Martin said, relieved. "And please stop calling me Mr. Pierce. My name is Martin."

"Okay, Martin." Santana said with a smile.

They carried the plates over to where Susan and Brittany were sitting and set them down on the table. Santana took a seat next to Brittany and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

Brittany smiled and placed her hand on Santana's thigh before leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Is everything okay?"

Santana covered Brittany's hand with her own and smiled at her. "It will be."