Epilogue

April 3, 2017

There was a pile of mail on the table. Sam flipped through it, sorting the bills from the junk mail with practiced motions. The first day back always felt strange. His apartment was spotless, the service usually took care of that. He knew when he opened the fridge he would find a litre of milk and a few vegetables, enough food for a decent dinner and breakfast before he would be forced to venture out to Metro for a real grocery shop. He knew without switching on the TV or picking up the phone that those had been restored. Old newspapers were in the recycling bin, with only the most recent still sitting with his mail. Everything was as normal as they could make it.

It was always a little eerie. One month, six months, a year, living a life that wasn't his, and then suddenly the case was closed and here he was, back in his apartment, without even a layer of dust or a spoiled jug of milk to attest to the empty months.

His hands stilled, fingers lingering on a cream envelope. It was bigger than the others, made of the kind of rich paper most people never bother to buy anymore. The address on the front was hand written in beautiful cursive. Something cold settled in his gut; paranoia or premonition he couldn't have said. He dropped the rest of the mail back on the table and turned the envelope over, sliding one finger under the flap and pulling it open without tearing the paper. He slid out a perfect square of heavy cream cardstock.

The gold embossed lettering caught the light and almost seemed to glow. You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of Gail Elaine Peck and Dov Nicholas Epstein. Sam let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

She wasn't getting married. At least not yet. It was going to happen eventually. He told himself he wanted it to happen, that it would be easier once it did, that he didn't really care. Lies that didn't help at all. He wanted her to be happy, but sometimes... when the chivalrous part of his mind wasn't paying close enough attention, he hated her faceless future husband for making her happy when Sam never could.

He wondered if she would have a date for the wedding. She hadn't for Tracy's wedding. Maybe... But he shook the thought from his mind. Nothing had changed. They were still cops.. Although he understood less and less each day why that meant they couldn't make it work. The reasons she'd left didn't feel like reasons at all today. Her friends were getting married, friends she'd come through the last seven years with. Friends who worked side by side without being told by anyone their love was forbidden. Maybe it was time.

Dov and Gail, he thought about them for a moment, it was a good fit. He knew Dov had lost his first wife in a brutal, tragic accident. Sam couldn't remember her name, but be remembered the funeral and the pain on Andy's face. He'd had never been close to any of that cohort, except for Andy. He was surprised they'd bothered to invite him at all.

He shrugged, the RSVP date on the invitation was in two weeks, he had time to think about it. He tossed it on top of the pile of bills, but the rich paper kept siding, landing on the floor. Sam bent to pick it up, and noticed for the first time that the back was covered in writing.

Sam,

I know we barely know each other and this is none of my business, but you're an idiot. Andy McNally has been in love with you for years. She will be at our wedding and if you have half the sense my husband-to-be says you do, you will use this opportunity. Tell her you love her, get her a ring... do what it takes. I refuse to have my wedding day ruined because my maid of honor is pining over you. If you don't love her, you're a bigger idiot than I thought, and I would prefer if you didn't attend.

- G

He stared at the cream coloured invitation in his hands for a long time. He tried to remember all the reasons he'd had for staying away, but he couldn't.

Whatever it was, whatever stood between them, he didn't care anymore. He'd been miserable for five years. She deserved to be happy. He could make her happy. He would do anything for that, if it meant he had to agree to a desk job to do it, so be it. She was worth it.

o o o

Taking a deep breath for courage, and sending a quick prayer heavenward that he wasn't about to meet her new live-in boyfriend, he knocked on Andy's front door.

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened.

"Sam?" She stood in the doorway in a white t-shirt and jeans. Her hair was a mess and her mouth hung slightly open, as if she didn't know whether to believe her eyes or not. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Sam felt suddenly awkward. What was he doing? She'd made it perfectly clear she didn't want him, and yet, like a kicked puppy here he was again. "I should have called."

"No." She said, shaking her head. Her lips curled into a gentle smile. "Do you want to come in?"

He nodded. He couldn't find his voice.

She took a step back, holding the door open.

Sam paused half a step from her, suddenly he knew he needed to know. Right then and there, he needed to tell her. He couldn't go inside without telling her why he was there. Not without saying it.

"I missed you." Andy said before he could open his mouth.

"I thought about you every day." He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. Sam thought his heart would stop. He took a step closer and lowered his mouth to hers.

She kissed him back, her arms twining around his neck. He tangled on hand in her hair, the other rested on her hip.

When they broke apart he smiled down at her. "So, do you have a date for the wedding?"

She smacked him lightly on the chest, a bubble of laughter escaping her lips. "We haven't seen each other in eight months and that is the first question you ask?"

He kissed her forehead, nose and cheeks, "Go with me?" His mouth hovered over hers.

"Yes."

Their lips met in a tender kiss that quickly deepened. Andy pushed him back into the house, letting the door slam behind them before reaching for the hem of his shirt.

"You're even better at that than I remember," she muttered pushing his shirt over his head and peeling off her own before reclaiming his lips.

Sam smiled against her mouth as he pressed her back against the couch. It wasn't exactly a declaration of love, but it would do for now.

All afternoon long it's with me the same song
You left a light on inside me, my love
I can remember the way that it felt to be
Holding on to you

I can't forget you when you're gone
You're like a song that goes around in my head

- Like a Song by Lenka -

A/N: Well that is a wrap! Thank you everyone who read and reviewed this along the way. This is by far the most challenging fic I have ever tackled and I have had a lot of fun sharing it with you over the last 6 months. Special thanks to Kittyknighton, Rainbowwizard1, and Bebesmom for being there when I needed to talk or whine or just find a momentary distraction.

I know this didn't go exactly how some of your wanted. I hope you enjoyed it anyway :) I could explain my choices until the cows come home, but it boils down to this: post Season 2 (when I plotted this entire fic out) my vision of Sam/Andy was much bleaker than it is now (season 3 has more or less restored my faith in their staying power). At that point I saw them as that couple who love each other, but are both terrible communicators and control freaks. That couple who, in an attempt to do the right thing, are constantly trying to do what's best for the other without ever discussing it (Sam actively pushing Andy towards Luke in 110 and 113 is a good example of this in canon). Worst of all, because they are in love with one another, they keep coming back and repeating the same patterns over and over again. Believe me, it would have been so much easier to write a happy ending, but I wanted to stay true to the characters as I saw them at that time, even if the outlook was rather bleak.