- "Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." –

Robert Frost

Jim had been staring at them for a flat minute now, opening and closing his mouth several times like a fish on dry land gasping for air. Leonard was starting to wonder if it might be prudent to get his medical kit ready. They waited for another minute, before they finally heard Jim whisper: "That's not possible."

"Um… sometimes you're weird, Jim. You're not all that surprised by the astonishing idea that your ex-girlfriend has been hiding a baby – your baby, but you're surprised by the blatantly obvious fact that your first officer has an epic crush on you. For heaven's sake, Jim, you see the guy every day; he's your closest companion. Even Chris, me and Sarek, who rarely get to see either of you, noticed it, so how the hell could you have missed it?"

"I didn't… I mean… it's Spock! He's Vulcan. And straight."

"No, actually, he's only half-Vulcan. As for his sexual orientation – how do you know? Did you ever ask him?"

"No! Of course not. But he's been with Nyota."

"So…? I was married to Jocelyn."

"It's not possible!" Jim insisted, violently shaking his head.

Leonard rolled his eyes, then exchanged a glance with Chris. "And this is the guy who lectured us about being in denial a couple of years ago…"

Chris bent forward, reaching across the table to touch Jim's hand. "You're shocked by this, aren't you? More shocked than by the fact that you might be a father."

"Well, you have to admit that the latter was way more likely to happen," Jim replied with a somewhat shaky attempt at irony. "I mean, honestly… Spock…? What am I supposed to do now?"

"How do you feel about him?"

"Apart from you guys, he's my best friend. I trust him with my life and the lives of my crew. I also admire him – I mean, he's got an amazing brain, and he's also one of the bravest people I know. I like spending time with him, on and off duty. When he isn't trying to kill me, he's a great guy."

Leonard studied his best friend's face, thinking who do you think you're kidding here, Jim? He was about to say something, when he heard Chris state calmly: "You're lying, Jim."

Leonard sent a brief, amused look at his husband. Well, trust Chris to be frank.

"You're lying," Chris repeated, "either to me or to yourself, but it doesn't really matter. Jim, I think we all know that Spock means a lot more to you than that. In the past five years, I haven't had a conversation with you, in which his name didn't come up at least once. You have rarely been separated from him for more than three days in a row, and if you were, it was either because he was at some science conference, or either of you had been taken hostage by a hostile alien species. You even spend shoreleave together; and one would think that you get to see enough of one another on the job. And don't tell me you were never jealous of Nyota. I've seen you give her plenty of death glares, even after she and Spock had broken up. They are still very close, and you are just as jealous of Nyota, as Spock is of Leonard. It's natural."

"So you're saying that you're jealous of Jim, too?" Leonard asked in an attempt rescue Jim from Chris' scrutinizing gaze and give him a moment to recover.

Chris shook his head. "Special case. I'm married to my son's best friend."

"You do realize how weird that sounds, don't you?"

Chris shrugged, returning his gaze to Jim. "Well?"

Jim swallowed hard. "I'm not in love with Spock."

Leonard sighed. "Fine. Call it whatever you want. Fact is, he's in love with you, and it's bothering him. And right now, he's probably having the Vulcan equivalent of our conversation with Sarek."

Jim looked up abruptly, his expression almost shocked. "Sarek knows?"

"Of course he does. Didn't I just say that? Relax, Jim. He's not going to rip Spock's head off. Actually, Sarek appears to be a lot more tolerant than we thought."

Jim didn't seem convinced. "Let's hope so," he murmured. "I'd hate to have to go looking for a new first officer."

"Yeah, like that is the only reason you're worried about him," Leonard replied, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

Spock was idly pushing the leftovers of his vegetarian paella back and forth across his plate, trying to avoid his father's stoic gaze. Sarek sat across from him, waiting for him to speak. Spock had tried to avoid having this conversation for months, and he was still trying to find a way out of it, but unfortunately, his father appeared to be infinitely patient.

Why is it so important to you? Spock thought irritably. It is bad enough without any paternal interference, why do you have to make things worse?

"It should be your mother… " Sarek said suddenly, out of the blue.

Spock looked up, startled. "I beg your pardon, father?"

"This conversation," Sarek elaborated, his hand moving in an almost apologetic gesture, "You have always been more comfortable discussing emotional matters with Amanda."

And that surprises you…? Spock thought, torn between bewilderment and annoyance.

"It does not exactly qualify as a conversation when we are not actually conversing, does it?" He pointed out.

"I was hoping you would tell me what has been troubling you these past months," his father replied calmly. "However, seeing that you are reluctant to do so, I will proceed to giving you the answers to the question you have not asked, but should have. Is that acceptable to you?"

Do I have a choice? Spock nodded slowly.

"Very well. You are troubled, because of the changes your relationship with James Kirk has undergone. You have never experienced a similar emotional unrest before and are at once embarrassed and upset by it. You are afraid that the nature of your feelings could reflect negatively on your working relationship with your Captain and his career, as well as your own. You are also worried about my reaction. I can put your mind at ease concerning the latter question: while I cannot argue that I would have preferred Nyota Uhura as your chosen partner, I have no objections against James Kirk. Also, it is not my right to interfere with my son's love life, and I have no desire to do so."

Spock was momentarily taken aback by this statement, but once he recovered, he had his doubts about its sincerity. "You tried with Sybok," he remarked.

Sarek sighed softly. "And we have both seen the results of that, have we not? I do not wish to alienate my second son the way I did my eldest."

Spock felt a pang of guilt at that. It was rare for his father to actually admit a mistake, and it showed that he still wasn't over Sybok's rebellion and subsequent disappearance. "I am not my brother," he stated.

"I am aware of that," Sarek replied, "You are in fact, very different… and yet in some ways so very much alike. If your time permits, I would like to introduce you to your niece tomorrow. She is quite an astonishing child, and I promised her she would get to meet you."

It didn't happen very often that Spock was too stunned to speak in coherent sentences, but this was one of those times. "My… what…? Sybok has a daughter… but…"

Sarek raised an amused eyebrow. "Fascinating. You are showing the exact same reaction I experienced when I learned of her existence. Yet it is true. Her name is Delia, and she is indeed the daughter of your brother. She is also part Orion. Hence my thought that the two of you must be more alike than I ever imagined you could be. It appears that my sons are simply not content with a Vulcan mate."

"Maybe, we are merely following your example", Spock said with one of his rare human smiles, as he remembered his mother. She would probably have appreciated the twisted humor in this entire affair. And she would certainly have been thrilled to meet her granddaughter… or step-granddaughter.

"Of course I will see her," he added in an afterthought.

"Good." Sarek nodded. "In the meantime, I strongly suggest that you let go of the notion of me being displeased with you, merely because you heed to your mother's advice. I believe she would be very disappointed to see you this troubled and hesitant." He paused for a moment, as if considering something, before adding: "Of course, she might also be amused."

"I find nothing amusing in my current situation," Spock replied with a very Vulcan almost-frown.

"Obviously not, but I am quite convinced she would have laughed at you. She never had much patience with Vulcan emotional struggles."

"She was human. Humans are never patient."

"An annoying, but also somewhat intriguing quality," Sarek replied. "But I digress. I believe you have questions to ask me."

"Do I?" Spock asked, displeased by his father's all-knowing superiority.

Sarek just looked at him unblinking, and Spock resigned after a couple of minutes. It didn't seem to matter that he was an adult now, responsible, self-relying, Starfleet hero and scientific genius; his father would always in some way remain the towering, formidable personality he had been in Spock's childhood.

"I am… confused," Spock admitted. "I am troubled by the intensity of my feelings for Jim. I have never experienced anything similar. My relationship with Nyota was entirely different."

"You did not love her."

"Maybe. I never was in pain when I was with her."

"In pain?" Sarek echoed. "Is that meant as a figure of speech, or do you really experience physical discomfort?"

"The latter. It is… a strange thing. Sometimes, when I am with Jim I suffer from random pain."

Sarek seemed alarmed. "Do these occurrences appear to be triggered by anything in particular?"

"As I said, it appears to be random. Even though in several cases, I experienced sudden stabs of pain when Jim was away. When I later investigated the matter, it turned out that during each of these occurrences, he was in imminent physical danger."

Sarek gave a slight nod, as if this reply was consistent with his theory. "You were right to feel apprehensive, Spock."

"Why?"

"Because an incomplete bond poses an unpredictable danger to both parties."

"I never tried to bond with Jim," Spock protested.

"Not consciously, maybe," Sarek replied, "but it can happen unconsciously. And what you just told me would be consistent with the most common symptoms. They also include anxiety, migraines, and sudden bouts of vertigo."

"Is Jim in any danger?"

"It is hard to say, since he is not Vulcan. With your permission, I will consult with one of our physicians on New Vulcan. I will not mention your name, or Captain Kirk's."

Spock nodded. "That would be acceptable."

"Very well. You should also have a conversation with your Captain. And soon."

Okay, to make up for the cliffie I left you with, I really tried to hurry this time. I hope you like the way this chapter turned out.