Richard laid awake beside Simonne for most of the night. He was tired, but his mind was too active to allow him to sleep. Plus, he feared rolling over and hurting her if he was asleep. Simonne had settled into slumber shortly after Etienne had left the room, and for the most part it was peaceful, although she kept repeating something...it was a litany of sorts, almost rhythmic in it's recitation. He listened, tried to make out what she was saying, but he only understood the names, and only Etienne, Marie, and Dubois meant anything to him. She grew agitated momentarily, but when Richard tightened his arm around her and murmured that he was here, she calmed and drifted back into her peaceful sleep. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and whispered 'I love you' against her hair. It wasn't how he envisioned telling her the first time, but she probably hadn't heard him, so maybe...when things were taken care of and Simonne started her own healing, maybe then he could tell her properly. Of course, maybe he couldn't. It was entirely possible that the woman he fell in love with was gone, shattered by the brutality. But he would worry about that when the time came. Emma came in, carrying two bowls of oatmeal.
"We need to get some food into Simonne," Emma stated as she set the bowls on the nightstand. "She hasn't eaten anything in days." Richard nodded and shifted slightly, which was enough to wake Simonne up. She blinked and gingerly sat up, waving off Richard's attempt to help her. She needed to be able to move on her own, and she had to get there quickly. They were going after Louis today, her sweet brother and her noble Phantom. They would get the names of the others, the ones she hadn't known, and they would get rid of Louis, and once he was gone, she could get rid of the others. She knew how she would do it...it would be slow, it would be painful, and she would show them the same amount of mercy they had shown her. Absolutely none.
"Eat, both of you," Emma ordered, handing them each a bowl. Richard dug in immediately, but Simonne just pushed the oatmeal around in the bowl. "Emma will, mm. Stand there. Staring. Until you, mm. Eat," Richard told Simonne. She looked at him, then at Emma, who crossed her arms and put on an expression she had learned from their mother, an expression that said 'we'll do this the easy way or the hard way and I'm sure you won't like the hard way'. It was enough to get Simonne to slowly start eating, a task she found more difficult because of the cast on her arm. But she finally managed to get the whole bowl down, feeling better for the food in her stomach. Emma took the empty bowls and left the room. Simonne took a deep breath and slowly swung her legs off the side of the bed.
"What do you. Mm, think you're doing?"
"I must use ze bathroom," she said, her voice still husky "I need to be moving Once you get ze names I will be ready I have to be ready I have to be ready for when you have ze names because if I am not ready zen I cannot kill zem and if I cannot kill zem zen zey will come back and..."
"SIMONNE! Stop!" Richard cried. "You have. To calm, mm. Down." He found the look in her eyes frightening. It should have been maniacal but it was so blank.
"But I must kill them, she said calmly. "I swore zat I would. He is planning to kill Etienne. Oh, he will make it look like an accident. Or, like Etienne was killed during a robbery or somezing, mais he has to kill Etienne, because Etienne is ze heir right now and he can't get ze company if Etienne is in ze way."
"Simonne,mm...what are. You talking about?" Had her mind completely snapped?
"It is all just part of Pierre Dubois' plan to get control of Papa's company," she said as she slowly stood up. "You see, zey zought I could not hear zem, but I heard every word." She took Richard's hand and led him down the hallway, telling him what she had overheard. She let his hand go outside the bathroom door, which she kept cracked so he could her what she was saying. She took care of what she needed to do in the bathroom, came out, still talking, took Richard's hand and led him back to her bedroom. "And so, you see zis leaves me with the dilemma...do I kill Papa as well, for giving his consent to zis marriage, or do I let him live, since he is nozing but a...a...victim, in zis. What do you think, Richard?" Richard thought she had lost her mind. The strain of what she had endured must have truly snapped it. He completely understood it. But she was so convinced of truth of what she was saying, he didn't know how to tell her she must've misunderstood something. So instead he said "I think. Mm, right now. You need. More rest."
"You zink I am crazy."
"I think you're still. Mm, in shock. Over what happened. And you need..." He paused and very slowly raised his hands to her face. She didn't flinch when he carefully placed his hands on her cheeks, nor did she look away when he met her eye. There was so much going on in there, and none of it was good. He had to be careful, no telling but that one wrong word could jar that fragile grasp on sanity. He quickly changed what he had been about to say. "Mm, you need to know. I will help you, mm. With this, but you'll have to. Listen to me. We will, mm. Plan, and if we have to. Wait for the right. Moment, we'll wait. If we can, mm. Make them suffer. Good, but the ultimate goal is to. Get in. Get them and. Get out. Got it?" She nodded. "I'm here," he said softly. "No matter, mm. what, I'm here. However you need me. Just, mm. Trust me. With this."
"I do," she said, just as softly. He could hear the barest echo of the woman he loved in her voice. "I do not know what I am doing in zis, only zat I must do it. You are ze only one I know who can do zese zings. I will do whatever you tell me, just get me to zem."
"I will," he promised her. He wanted to kiss her, if only to reassure her, but he couldn't. "Now, you mm, need to get some more rest."
"So must you," she said. "You look as if you have not slept much ze past few days."
"Been too. Mm, worried about you," Richard admitted. "We all were." He watched as her eyebrows drew together as much as the swelling on her face would allow, her eyes moved back and forth as she thought about something. Without warning, she grabbed Richard's hand and once more led him down the hall, but this time to the kitchen, where Emma was cleaning up breakfast dishes. Simonne dropped Richard's hand and quickly embraced Emma.
"Zank you for everyzing," Simonne told Emma. "I am so sorry zat your trip to Paris dissolved into needing to take care of me." She pulled out of the embrace and studied Emma's face. "You need to sleep. Zere are bags under your eyes."
"I'll be fine," Emma said. "Now that you're up and about, I don't have to be so worried. Are you still hungry? You probably should eat more."
Simonne was about to say that she wasn't hungry, but a quick glance at Richard had her stilling her tongue and sitting down at the table. In a few minutes, Emma had some eggs and toast in front of her.
"I'd offer you more," Emma said, "but since you haven't really eaten much recently I don't want to make you sick."
Simonne ate slowly, eyes darting from Emma to Richard and then to the doorway. Finally, when she was nearly done eating, she asked "Where is Etienne?"
"He went to the market," Emma said.
"How long has he been gone? Will he be back soon?"
"I guess he's been out about twenty minutes. Why?"
Simonne shook her head. How could she explain the unease she felt knowing that Etienne was not right there? She finished eating, Emma took her plate and washed it. Simonne watched Emma and Richard carefully, eyes following where ever one or the other moved. And when the door opened and Etienne came home, Simonne was on her feet as quickly as she could be. She grabbed Richard's hand and led him down to the living room, where she dropped Richard's hand, threw her arms around Etienne and began thanking him for everything.
He wrapped his arms around her after dropping the bags to the floor and assured her he would do anything he could for her, that it had been no trouble, and he was glad she was up and about.
"I was so worried for you," he told her. "I'm so sorry."
"It is not your fault Etienne. You couldn't have done anything to prevent it."
"No. I should have protested at dinner, or done something to keep Dubois from leaving with you. Something."
Simonne looked at her brother, so worried for him, knowing that Dubois wanted him dead. "Etienne," she began, but fell silent when she realized she didn't know how to tell him. "I love you Etienne." It was all she could manage to say. Whatever happened, she had to keep Etienne safe.
"I love you too, Simonne." He gave one last gentle squeeze, then held her at arms length. "Why are you not resting?" he asked, switching to English
"Pfft, all I have done ze past week is rest! You, however," she looked at Etienne, then turned to Richard, and Emma and held them with her eyes, "have waited and sat and cared for me and have probably not slept more zan two hours at a time. You must all rest. If you do not rest, zen ze zings zats need to be done can not be done and if zey are not done zen nozing can change and if nozing can change zen it will happen again and if it happens again zen I do not zink anyzing can change..." her eyes grew wide as her thoughts began to spiral into a nightmare world where the men who had raped her could find her at whim. Etienne and Emma looked at her with wide eyed concern. Richard, who had seen this earlier, called her name. Her head immediately turned to him, her eyes the same blank they had been earlier.
"Simonne," Richard said evenly. "We will, mm. All rest. But you have. To do the same. Okay?"
Simonne nodded, and when he held his hand out to her, she crossed the floor to take it. "You will rest?" she asked Emma and Etienne in a small voice. They both said they would, and that enabled Richard to lead her to her bedroom. Richard positioned himself on the bed next to Simonne, who snuggled against him as comfortably as she could with her battered body. "Please rest, Richard," she said softly. "You must be at your best when you go for Louis. You must keep Etienne safe. You promised you would."
"I will," he said.
"Take off your mask. I know you do not sleep well with it on." Richard complied, setting it on her nightstand. Simonne noticed the tag was there, and realized she needed to put a ribbon on it so she could wear it. But right now, with Richard beside her, she didn't need it. He would help her do what needed to be done. He would protect her. He would never hurt her. He was the one person she could completely and wholly trust. He had been there with her, in her mind, the light that had kept her from succumbing to the darkness of her assault. While they beat her, Richard had held her. While they raped her, Richard had gently made love to her. While they called her 'bitch' and 'whore', Richard whispered words of love in her ear. For every cruelty they inflicted on her, Richard offered kindness. She loved Etienne, for he was her brother and the one person in her family who loved her. She loved Emma, the sister she had never had but always wanted. But Richard...she loved him more than anyone. His voice could break through the frantic thoughts that swirled through her mind, his presence could keep dark memories at bay.
"Sleep, Simonne," Richard said, on the cusp of slumber himself. "Remember...we rest. Mm, if you rest."
"Oui, Richard." She settled in against him and drifted to sleep. Richard soon followed, exhausted emotionally and physically. He'd caught a few hours sleep here and there over the past week, but not enough. Simonne was right, he had to be at his best tonight.
Richard awoke a few hours later feeling refreshed. Simonne was awake and looking at him. "Feel better?" she asked softly. "Mm, yes," he said.
"You look better," she replied, studying him carefully. "Now you need a shave." Richard ran his hand over his jaw. He hadn't exactly been paying much attention to his appearance the past few days, but he wasn't entirely surprised to discover that his usual light stubble had grown into a bit of a beard. Simonne ran her hand along his jaw almost shyly. Richard watched her carefully, wondering what was going on in her mind at the moment. "What, mm. Are you thinking?" Please let it be something happy...he added in his mind.
Simonne knew Richard needed her to laugh so he could laugh but she didn't really want to laugh because nothing seemed funny to her and beside laughing would hurt her ribs but she still wanted him to laugh so she said "Zat you have not been tickled lately." and before Richard knew it her fingers were
finding those oh-so-ticklish spots on his ribs and under his arms. He laughed and squirmed and he wondered if maybe Simonne had come out of this just fine after all. But when she finally gave in to his pleas to stop tickling, and he looked into her eyes, he saw no spark of merriment there, despite the smile on her swollen lips.
Richard wanted Simonne back. His Simonne. The Simonne who could chatter non-stop about anything, the woman who could make his heart feel so light when she smiled, the woman who could make him laugh with ridiculous conversations, the woman who had been able to draw him out of himself and make him want to live again. "Why are you sad, Richard?" she asked. He didn't want to tell her he was sad because he feared for her sanity, feared that her laughter was gone, feared that the woman he loved had been taken from him. But despite whatever was or wasn't going on in her head, it was still Simonne and she could still sense what he was thinking. "You are sad because of me."
"I'm sad. Because of what, mm. They did to you. I'm sad. Because it changed you." Simonne cocked her head and looked at him and said "I am sorry. I do not want you to be sad."
"Simonne. There is, mm. No reason for. You to be sorry. None of. This is your, mm. Fault. The ones who need. To be, mm, sorry. Are the ones. Who did this. And when. We're done with them, mm. they will. Be sorry. Yes?"
"Oui," she replied fiercely. There was emotion in her eye, a driving need for vengeance that would have made most men quiver to see. But for Richard, it was a look he understood, one he could relate to. And maybe once they killed the bastards who had raped her, his Simonne would come back to him. He understood she would never be the same, but he hoped some of the laughter would come back. If it didn't he vowed he would travel the pits of Hell and kill the bastards all over again.
"I need you. Mm, to keep Emma distracted. While Etienne and I handle Louis. I would. Prefer, mm, that she not know. Exactly what we're doing." Simonne nodded, understanding. Emma was a lot like Richard had been, way back when...possessing a certain innocence you can only gain growing up away from everyone and everything. Simonne knew some of that innocence had been tarnished this past week...it was Emma who had taken care of her, cleaning her while she was semi-conscious at best, tending her wounds. Simonne could vaguely recall Emma's chatter as she worked, silly little nonsense like the calf that had been born that spring that had a splotch on her shoulder that looked like a cat's head, and how poorly the south field's yield had been. Sedated as she was at the time,Simonne hadn't understood it or been able to respond to it, but she had been comforted by the sound of Emma's voice. Emma was a practical woman, but she was also sweet and kind and therefore needed to be protected. "I will not tell her" Simonne swore. "I do not know how I will distract her, zough."
"Well, mm. What do women. Normally do when they're. Together? Talk about...clothes. Or shopping. Or mm...do your nails. Or have. A, mm, pillow fight. Or something." Richard honestly had no idea what women did when they were together.
"A pillow fight? Can you see me hitting Emma with a pillow?" Richard gave it some thought then said "I'd, mm. Like to see. You try." The corner of his mouth turned up into a small smile, he was trying to encourage Simonne to smile, if not all out laugh, but she looked at him as if he had suggested she dye Emma's hair purple.
"Well, mm. Keep it in mind...if you. Mm, run out of. Things to talk about," he said as the corner of his mouth fell. It's too soon, I suspect. I have to give her time. Hell's bells, she can barely fully open her eyes, so why am I expecting her to be happy this soon?
"If you saw me hit Emma with a pillow, would it make you laugh?" she asked, completely serious.
"It would," he admitted. "Until she. Mm, stood up and. Decked me for. Suggesting it to you."
"'Deck you'? What does zis mean?"
"Mm, punch," Richard explained, forgetting momentarily that while Simonne spoke English very well, she wouldn't be completely familiar with American slang.
"She hits you?" Simonne's eyes were wide.
"Mm, playfully, yes," Richard hurried to explain. "She taught me, mm. To cook. I taught her, mm. To throw a punch. It's the, mm. Stupidest thing I've. Ever done," he said with a chuckle. It really was a dumb move on his part. Emma could get away with punching him as hard as she could in the arm, but if he tried to retaliate? His mother left him with a bruised backside the one time he tried. Simonne processed this but had nothing to add. Instead she changed the subject.
"When are you and Etienne going?"
"I'm not, entirely sure. Mm, Etienne was going to. Call Louis and. Arrange to meet. Mm, this evening. We'll go. From there. I need to. Mm, clean up." Which he realized was silly. He was going to get cleaned up to go kill someone.
"Ah, oui," Simonne said. "You must be dressed to kill." Richard laughed, truly laughed, for the first time in days. Simonne felt a little something inside of her turn warm. Yes, laugh this is good I have to make you laugh if you laugh you are happy and if you are happy then...
...maybe I can be happy?