"Are you excited to see your new school, Scout?"
Lucy shrugs, she's sitting at the table because Beca told her she can't get up until she takes ten bites.
"You love school and this place, from what I hear, is the best."
"If you don't like it, we can look at some others," Chloe interjects, "but we do need to make a decision soon. School starts next week."
Lucy nods again, they've had this conversation three times in the past three days.
"I'll see you there at five."
"Four." Chloe corrects.
"Four. But I gotta go to work before I'm late."
Beca slings her bag over her shoulder and shuts the door behind her. She locks it and starts down the hallway. She gets thirteen texts between their door and the elevator. She's scrolling through the text chain from work when the elevator dings and the doors slide open.
"Beca, hey."
She looks up and groans, or at least she wants to.
"Oh, hi Gardner."
She joins him on the elevator even though everything in her body is telling her to run the other way.
"How are you? How's your sister?"
"She's, um, fine. As good as can be expected I guess."
"Oh good."
Beca doesn't make eye contact, not that she could. He's wearing those ridiculous sunglasses of his and he's a solid foot and a half taller than her. She rocks back and forth, from foot to foot. She can't get out of the elevator and out the front doors fast enough.
Work is as chaotic as it ever is when she gets there.
"Beca, hey, I'm glad you're finally here."
"Theo, I'm like fifteen minutes late. You could not have been waiting that long for me."
"About fifteen minutes."
She drops her bag on her desk and sits in her chair.
"I looked over those lyrics you sent me. I assume you have something started to go with them?"
"I do. But I needed to make sure that they were alright before I went further."
"They're incredible, but are you sure you want to do this?"
Beca pauses. She bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes.
"Yeah, I think this is something I have to do."
"Okay, then I'm behind you. We'll get started tomorrow."
He starts out of the room.
"Hey Theo, thank you."
"For one reason or another, it takes a lot for me to doubt you, Mitchell."
He smiles and closes the door behind him. It only takes him a few seconds to turn back around and open the door again.
"I almost forgot. Matt wants you in recording room B in five minutes."
She sighs and picks up her phone. She sends a text message to Chloe.
"In and out of recordings all day. See you at 4."
"Good work today, Bec. I've said it before and I'll say it again," Matt starts, "we've missed you. I've been stuck with Anderson in here, that idiot doesn't know his ass from his elbow."
"You can say that again." Beca scoffs.
"I'm done repeating myself." Matt jokes, "You wanna grab a drink?"
"A drink? Now? What time is it?"
Coming out of the darkened recording studios is always a little disorienting.
"Come on, it's almost happy hour. It's almost four o'clock."
"Shit, I have to go. Rain check."
Beca basically runs down the hallway to grab her things. She tries to call Chloe but she doesn't get an answer. She is half expecting a lecture when she gets to the school. She hears them before she sees them.
"She'll be here. I sent her like six reminder texts."
"Hey Lou, sorry. I got here as fast as I could."
Through the whole meeting she keeps stealing glances at Lucy. She wishes she knew what she was thinking, and feeling. But more than anything she wishes she could take this all for her and let her be a kid again.
Lucy doesn't let go of her hand the whole time Dean Weaver is talking and she feels her periodically squeeze a little tighter. She runs her thumb over her knuckles and every time Lucy looks over at her she does her best to smile.
"We would love to welcome you to the Vanderbilt family. That is, if you're interested. What do you say?"
Beca isn't sure what Lucy is going to say. She knows that this choice isn't completely Lucy's to make; she needs to be a parent at some point. She waits with bated breath until Lucy lets out a small smile of her own.
"Yes, please."
"Fantastic. Well then," he says with a slap on the desk, "let's take a look around."
As they all leave the office Chloe hears Beca's phone chime with a message. She glances at it quickly but pockets her phone. Chloe tries to grab her hand but Beca puts them both in her pockets.
"So our first stop is the science lab."
Dean Weaver leads them down so many hallways that Lucy starts to get dizzy. For the entire tour Beca seems suddenly distant. Chloe tries to catch her eye but it's like she's purposefully avoiding looking at her.
"And last, but not least, the sports fields."
Lucy squints against the bright light when he pushes open the gymnasium doors. The land behind the school seems to extend forever. There's soccer fields, a football field, softball fields, and an outdoor roller hockey rink.
"Woah." Lucy doesn't even realize she's said anything until she hears Beca scoff. "I'm glad this isn't one of those stuffy private schools where the kids are all too shoved into their books to play sports."
Beca pinches her arm but she doesn't retract what she says. Dean Weaver lets out a good humored laugh.
"Quite the contrary actually. We have several nationally ranked athletes and most of our teams competed in their respective championships last season."
Her eye falls on the same group of girls from before. They are running back and forth on the soccer field but on either end are smaller goals set up. She points in their direction.
"What team is that?"
"That's our girls' lacrosse team." His beaming smile returns, "They were undefeated last year and we're expecting them to take the championship this year. We are all about being well rounded here, so we require each student to take part in two extracurriculars, whether that's sports or academic clubs or theater, that's up to you."
Lucy looks at her sister, she seems despondent, like she's barely listening. Chloe steps in.
"We'll take a look at the catalogue you gave me, we'll get some ideas."
"I think that sounds like a great idea." Dean Weaver says, "Sign ups and try outs will be about a week after the start of school."
They follow him back to the front of the school.
"Well ladies, I believe this is where I leave you. Miss Lucy we look forward to having you in our school. I will see you in a week."
"Yes sir, thank you."
She shakes her hand and Chloe can't help but smile at how diplomatic it all seems. He shakes both Chloe and Beca's hands and walks back into the school.
Beca's odd behavior continues through dinner; she barely touches her food and she isn't on Lucy about eating hers like she usually is.
"Goodnight, Lucy."
Chloe kisses her head and Beca watches her walk wordlessly down the hallway from her spot at the sink. Beca finishes up the dishes and joins her sister in the living room.
"Did you like the school, Scout?"
"Yeah, it was good I guess."
Lucy turns her attention back to her book. She's curled up under her quilt and the lamp is barely illuminating the pages. She can tell that Lucy isn't actually reading, she hasn't turned the page since she opened the book. She just needs to keep her hands busy.
"Dean Weaver seems nice. I think you're going to like it."
Beca lifts the blanket up and allows Lucy to scoot down under it.
"Comfy?"
"Mhm."
"We'll get your bed set up this weekend, I promise. I'm sorry it's taken so long."
"Whatever."
Beca climbs into the bed next to her and shuts off the light. It's quiet for a while, other than the cars outside and the hum of the refrigerator.
"Are you mad at Chloe?"
"What? Why would you ask me that?"
"Because you barely looked at her during dinner. Usually you guys are all gooey and gross."
Beca feels Lucy's head lean on her shoulder. A few pieces of her hair tickle her cheek but Beca doesn't bother to brush them away.
"We're fine, don't worry about us. How are you feeling? Are you okay?"
"I guess."
"You're sure? I could get you some water or something else to eat."
"Bec, I'm fine."
Her voice is fading, she's starting to doze, mid conversation, the events of the day finally catching up with her.
"Okay, sorry, go to sleep."
Chloe is already changed and in bed when Beca gets Lucy to sleep. Beca walks over to the dresser and takes off her necklace.
"Bec, did I do something wrong? Because it kind of feels like I'm in trouble."
Chloe watches her back. The way her shoulders move toward her ears and her muscles tense. She switches her button up shirt for an old T-shirt and puts on sweatpants. It's barely nine o'clock but the day has felt much too long.
"Beca."
"Stacie texted me, while we were at the school." She says without turning around. "She asked me if Lucy is on my insurance yet."
"Oh."
"Any idea why she would be asking me that?"
Chloe's throat feels dry. She didn't expect to hide it forever, just for tonight.
"We said we weren't taking her to the doctor and then you just took her anyway."
Beca turns and Chloe hates what she sees. It's not anger, just disappointment and that is always so much worse.
"I never agreed to that and It's not just for you to decide."
"So you just go behind my back? That's not how this works, she's my sister. She's my responsibility."
Chloe pushes herself up to stand on the opposite side of the bed.
"I thought this was something we were in together. But I see now that I don't have any actual say in it."
There's a long pause. Neither of them know what to say. They've never been here before.
"That's not true."
"Right. I'm not her sister so I can't make the big decisions. I'm just good enough to sit around with her all day but not do any of the actual parenting."
"I don't expect you to do any of that."
"I've told you countless times that I'm here for all of it, and yet, you still don't want to hear it."
Beca's breath is heavy, she blinks rapidly, keeping her arms crossed tightly over her chest.
"Beca, I feel like you don't trust me with her, not like you say you do."
"That's not it."
"Then what is it?"
Chloe can hear the shudder in Beca's breath. She shakes her head as several tears drip out of her eyes, falling onto the floor. She bites her lower lip and looks over Chloe's head to a spot on the wall.
"It's not you. I swear it's not you. It's, it's me, and her, and everything."
Chloe wants to go to her, but she's still kind of mad. She watches the way Beca folds and unfolds her arms, the way she doesn't know exactly what to do with her limbs so she fidgets; the way her dad always told her was unprofessional and unladylike. Her eyes move back and forth but never look into Chloe's.
"I feel like, we just got her and she's already sick. I never know what to say to her and now I feel like I'm not around enough and I can't fix any of it. I feel like I'm failing her already."
"Baby, you aren't failing anyone."
"It really feels like I am."
Beca moves toward Chloe and takes one of her hands in both of hers. She squeezes tightly and tries to stop her breath from doing the hiccup-y thing that she hates.
"You're doing the best you can and that's all anyone can ask from you."
"But what if it isn't enough? What if I do my best and she still comes out the other side messed up? What if she never gets over this and she drops out of school, or does drugs, or joins a cult?"
Chloe can't help but let out a little laugh despite the seriousness of the situation. In all honesty, she's been waiting for this moment. She's been waiting for Beca's calm, cool demeanor to dissolve into one mess or another.
"Okay, honey, I think you're over thinking it."
"You can't overthink the most important thing in your life. I think that's kind of the point."
Chloe pulls Beca over to the bed and sits her on the edge. She sits next to her so their thighs are touching.
"The fact that you describe her that way should prove that you can do this. Anyone could take in their sibling, but it takes a big person to make them their priority. The guilt and the fear and the anxiety that you're feeling right now, that's all the proof that you need that everything is going to be okay."
Beca is finally able to pull in a deep breath but the look on her face proves that what Chloe is saying isn't fully sinking in. She didn't expect it to. Chloe pulls her in close and kisses her forehead. She runs her hand up and down Beca's arm and just sits with her.
"I've missed you." Beca says.
"What do you mean?" Chloe asks, again with a slight giggle.
"I just, I missed this, we haven't had any time like this lately."
"We'll start to get this stuff back, it's just going to take some time."
Beca lifts her head up and stares into Chloe's eyes. She leans forward and kisses her; deeper and with more emotion behind it than she feels like she ever has. She pushes her back onto the bed and kisses down her neck.
"Bec, are you sure you want to-"
"Sh, I'm sure."
Chloe doesn't put up any other argument.
In the morning Chloe wakes up first. She trails her fingertips along Beca's spine. The sheet has fallen on her lower back, leaving a plethora of skin exposed to the morning sun. Chloe leans over and kisses her shoulder.
"Beca, baby, wake up."
Beca groans but she doesn't open her eyes or even move.
"Bec."
Beca turns her head toward Chloe. She opens one eye and then the other. A smile breaks out across her face.
"Morning."
"Good morning," Chloe says with a laugh, "are you feeling better today?"
Beca takes in a deep breath, "How could I not be after last night?"
"Shut up."
"Seriously babe, that was," She pauses, looking for the right word, "explosive."
There's a knock on their door and they are suddenly made very aware of their lack of clothing.
"Thank God, I locked that, huh?" Beca whispers, jumping up to find the closest coverage she can find.
"Beca?" Lucy's voice is muffled through the door.
"Hang on, Scout. I'm coming."
When she opens the door she is met with a confused and very tired expression. Beca wraps her arms tightly around her torso and leans against the doorframe. Chloe has disappeared into their walk-in closet to get dressed and hide her blazing red cheeks.
"Why was the door locked?"
"Sorry, I must have done it out of habit last night. What's up, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I wanted to go for a run but I obviously can't go alone. I wanted to ask Chloe to go with me."
Chloe reappears now dressed in leggings and a long robe.
"I don't know that a run is a good idea, not until you're feeling better." Chloe says and she notes the downtrodden look on Lucy's face, "But we could take a walk, we need to go to the pharmacy to pick up the stuff Stacie wants you to take. How does that sound?"
"Alright."
Lucy walks back down the hallway to find her shoes and wait for Chloe to be ready.
"I'm staying home today." Beca says. "I'll go with you guys and then maybe we can do something fun, the three of us."
"Really?"
Chloe catches her arm before she is able to walk away.
"Baby, are you sure you're feeling alright?"
"You don't need to worry about me, babe. I'm a rock."
"That's exactly why I'm worried. You don't need to be a rock for me."
Beca pulls her into a hug and kisses her cheek.
"I thought you liked the strong silent type."
"If that's what you think you are, then we need a new mirror."
Beca shoves her gently but pulls her immediately back to her.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding."
"If I don't get to be a rock, how about we settle for a tree."
"I could get behind that."