The Self-Stirring Stirrer

2nd Year: December 1992

A bell chimed loudly, echoing across the snowy grounds and drafty halls of Hogwarts, marking the end of the lunch hour. Students exited the Great Hall in a large clump, rushing to be on time for their afternoon lessons. Lily squeezed through the bottleneck at the entrance to the hall and made her way for the dungeons, merging with her housemates and Hufflepuffs on the staircase.

"Today's the day, Lily," James whispered, appearing at her side with a grin on his face. "Terry and I are going to test our invention."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You haven't invented anything. It was Gaspard Shingleton who invented the first self-stirring -"

"Well, this isn't a cauldron, is it?" he interrupted, pulling something like a slender wooden spoon from his book bag.

"I suppose not," Lily sighed as they arrived at the Potions classroom and James hastily stowed his "invention" in his bag.

Potions was Lily's favourite class after Charms, but it certainly wasn't her best. Brewing under Professor Snape's scrutinizing gaze made her nervous so that she sometimes mixed up her ingredients or skipped a line of instructions. It didn't help that during their very first lesson last year he'd forbidden her and James from ever working together – and for no reason at all! James always partnered with Terry, who was brilliant at Potions – and all of his other lessons, really – though nothing put that maniacal glint in his eye or the furrow of concentration in his brow like Potions.

So Lily worked with Morag, who was bright but shy, which ensured that the pair was never scolded by Snape for talking. And it didn't hurt that they had double potions with the Hufflepuffs who, admittedly, were diligent workers, but in Snape's opinion (and Lily's, too), were heavy-handed when adding ingredients, or else let their fires burn too strongly, or committed any other number of grave errors that the Potions Master never failed to announce to the class at large.

But the Ravenclaws received their share of reprimand as well. During lessons, their house was roughly divided into two factions: those who were too afraid of supplying a wrong answer to speak up at all, and those who were so eager to prove their knowledge that they would often respond out of turn. James, Terry, and Michael notoriously fell into the latter category. Lily found this amusing during Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons, where the three boys often displayed defense knowledge superior to Professor Lockhart's. But during Potions, Lily saw their behaviour as imprudent – stupid, even. James had landed himself three detentions with Snape during first year. Three. And if his little experiment did not go as planned, Lily predicted they'd be enduring a fourth Howler from Mrs. Mackenzie at breakfast the next morning.

Terry and James had spent all of their free evenings for the past two weeks designing, testing, and perfecting their self-stirring stirrer (as the pair had eloquently christened their creation). Lily wanted nothing to do with it. Second years weren't allowed self-stirring cauldrons for a reason. It was important that they learn the basic techniques of potion-making before taking shortcuts. But some small part of her was jealous that James and Terry had been clever enough to perform such advanced charm work, and she was curious to see if their efforts would be fruitful.

Thus, Lily and Morag stationed themselves as close to James and Terry as they could without Snape separating them, while the Potions master explained that they would be brewing Swelling Solutions that afternoon. Morag set to work counting puffer fish eyes while Lily ground dried frog toes in her mortar, watching Terry and James out of the corner of her eye all the while.

Half an hour later, Lily knew that she and Morag had done something wrong. Their potion was much too thick, its consistency somewhere between tar and cold molasses. Lily struggled to stir the potion seven times counter-clockwise as the next line of instructions dictated, but it was no use. Her stirrer was stuck firmly in the sludgy concoction and wouldn't budge. Meanwhile, across the aisle, James and Terry were watching delightedly as their self-stirring stirrer twirled slowly and smoothly around their cauldron, stopping precisely after the seventh turn. Lily fumed as Morag hastily added a few drops of vinegar to their potion in an attempt to thin it before Professor Snape arrived at their table.

Too late. Their Swelling Solution began to hiss and froth, turning an angry, acidic green just as Professor Snape focused his attention on their cauldron.

Wrinkling his nose at the foul stench that was now emanating from their potion, Professor Snape dropped a small green leaf into the cauldron, causing its contents to cease bubbling and smoking before finally congealing into a hard, gray blob.

"Perhaps next time you will remember to add liver of horned toad," Snape sneered. "Five points from Ravenclaw for neglecting to follow instructions."

Lily was mortified. She had never had a potion go so horribly awry, and she had never cost Ravenclaw house points until now. She did her best to suppress the hot tears that were welling in the corners of her eyes, but the lump rising in her throat was painful and persistent. To make matters worse, James and Terry's potion was nearly finished and it looked pristine. Professor Snape had made no comment as he passed their desk, which was largely considered the highest praise one could receive during his lessons. And if he had noticed the boys' use of the forbidden stirrer, he made no mention of it. Lily's embarrassment and disappointment quickly morphed into angry jealousy. She made plans to whack James upside the head with her potions book as soon as the lesson was through.

Morag had already begun cleaning the failed potion from the cauldron, so Lily set to work putting away unused ingredients. She was in the store cupboard when a resounding splash echoed throughout the room, as if a small waterfall had suddenly sprouted in the middle of the dungeon.

Lily turned and spotted the source of the noise at once. The bottom of Terry and James' cauldron seemed to have vanished, their near-perfect Swelling Solution spreading across the stone floor, causing everything it touched to inflate like a balloon. James and Terry were not immune to the strength of their potion, and they hobbled to the front of the room on engorged feet to get a swig of Deflating Draught from Professor Snape, who did not hesitate to give them both detentions and take ten points from Ravenclaw for the use of a forbidden brewing aid. Lily sniggered. When his feet had returned to their normal size, James looked to Lily, who gave him a look that she hoped he would read as I told you so.

Once they were side-by-side in the corridor, Lily said to James, "that went well," inwardly satisfied that his potion had failed, too.

James shrugged. "At least we tried. I think I know what went wrong, as well. We -"

"You're impossible," Lily cut across him. "You don't even care that you've got another detention. That makes four, you know. Four. I bet there are seventh years who haven't had four detentions. There are rules. You've got to be serious about your studies! You're not thinking about your future -"

It was James' turn to interrupt.

"But Lily, Terry and I learned something. We learned loads, actually, working this thing out. Isn't that what matters?"

Lily pursed her lips and said nothing. He was right. Of course he was right, because he was always right. But wasn't his wit one of the reasons she was friends with him in the first place? Yes, it was, and even if he was insufferable in the classroom, he was still her best mate. Her creative, too-clever-for-his-own-good, best mate.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts next," Lily said, changing the subject. "Have you finished your summary of Gadding with Ghouls?"

"No," James answered, suppressing a grin.

Lily hit him with her potions book, but she was smiling too.