Wow... I have an insanely long list of apologies and "I'm so sorry"s, but seeing as you guys have already waited too freaking long for this, I'll just let you read. Ladies and gentlemen... I give you... ((drumroll)) ... The next chapter of An Arnold Thing To Do!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hey Arnold! If I did, given my amazing procrastinating abilities, it would be blasted into oblivion by now... Hmmm... Actually... Never mind.

Chapter 11 – Now what?

"All right, people. Listen up!"

It had been a while since her brief period as Hall Monitor and she knew she had promised herself not to become a power-hungry intolerant ruler anymore—in fact, she'd stay away from any kind of leadership to avoid becoming that person again. She wasn't like that. She was sweet, humble Phoebe.

However, she was also loyal Phoebe and she wasn't about to abandon her best friend now.

To be honest, she and Helga had nothing in common. So what? Who cares if she treats her more like a subordinate than a peer most of the time? She knew, from the moment three-year-old Helga defended her in preschool, that there was a bond forming between the two of them. A very strong bond. A bond few people would ever understand.

Now, Helga needed her help. Even if she didn't know it yet—for she was, most likely, fast asleep. That secret, which she had been so keen to keep that she wouldn't even bring it up directly and openly whenever they talked, was too close to see the light. And though deep down Phoebe wished her friend would submerge in the purifying experience of a true catharsis and just (as Helga herself would put it) "spill the beans already", she would never even consider forcing her to confess or let anyone get close to finding the truth.

So here she was, getting all bossy again just so that her peers would understand this was no joke. All modesty aside, she was the smart girl, but this time around she needed them to do the thinking while she ran to try to save whatever was left of Helga's dignity.

"These are the facts, people: one: this is not a joke and if anyone dares to suggest it again, I might not be strong enough to cause you any sort of physical pain but I assure you Helga will pound you, when she's back;" this statement provoked all sorts of reactions: from the incredulous "hmpf" to the frightened looks of those who knew, somehow, that if Helga was going to let anyone tell her who she should hit, that person would be Phoebe.

"Two: those kidnappers might have intoxicated Helga with something that has caused her to sleepwalk; she managed to escape somehow and Gerald's fetching her as we speak. And three: Arnold's trapped inside that theater."

Rhonda and Harold, who had already been informed about the recent events, did nothing, but the rest of the gang gasped in unison.

"I understand if you doubt Helga", Phoebe said with a sigh, "but you can't seriously believe Arnold would be capable of such a cruel joke. So I suggest you all start thinking of a plan to get him out of there, NOW!"

• • • • •

Utmost terror washed over Helga as she slowly got aware of her situation. She froze, staring at the boy in front of her as a million thoughts rushed through her head.

Criminy. What just happened? Oh, gosh, what the hell have I done?

Just as she realized she was holding Arnold's PJs, inside Arnold's house, she felt such an amount of desperation that she didn't think she could experience.

This is it. My life is officially over. I'll have to move to Japan; maybe some of Phoebe's distant relatives might take me in... or maybe I should just die already...

And then, lighting struck.

Unless...

She blinked once, as her brain thought all of this. And then a second time, as she struggled to find her scowl, her infamous mask that had helped her so many times before.

"What are you looking at, Gerald-o?" she snapped.

When Gerald's only reaction was several confused blinks, she sneered: "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer, y'know?"

"He-He-Helga," he stuttered, frowning "I-I... I just caught you..." he pointed rather shakily to Arnold's clothes, which she was still clutching tightly.

She looked down and when she saw the teddy bears staring up at her, she tossed the pajamas aside, as if they'd burn her.

"You caught me doing what, bucko?" she challenged, hands on her hips.

"You... You were..." evidently, the boy was still too shocked to speak coherently.

"Ugh! Look, tall-hair boy, I'd love to stay and watch you stutter, but I've got bigger fish to fry, so I'll see you around, ok?"

She turned to leave, but before she could take two steps, he grabbed her wrist and turned her around to face him. This time, Helga realized, the doubt and shock were gone. He had a look of fierce determination and that scared Helga. A lot.

"You were dancing with Arnold's PJs" he accused.

"Says who?" she shot him a look of defiance, but she knew deep down that he had caught her slightly off-ward and she wasn't as convincing as she would have liked.

And of course, he noticed.

• • • • •

The man's huge fist smacked the table for seemingly the twentieth time just as the police officer summoned all of his patience to deal with him again.

Adam Williams had worked as a police officer long enough to be able to tell what kind of person he was dealing with as soon as they called or walked into the police station and Big Bob Pataki was one of the worst kinds. He was the typical "alfa-male wannabe" who thinks that just because he's somewhat powerful in one area or another, everything could and would be made easy for him.

His wife, Miriam, on the other hand, was a woman who evidently enjoyed turning her back on real life for as long as she could. In the mind of this kind of people, there was really no need to worry… unless there actually was.

All in all, these kinds of people just couldn't deal with a situation they couldn't control. And right now, Officer Williams was trying as hard as he could to provide some sort of comfort to this messed up family.

"Mr. and Mrs. Pataki, I understand you are in terrible distress" he said, as the woman paced back and forth clumsily and anxiously, interrupting the work of the technicians who were currently setting up artifacts and computers to intervene their phone, "but I assure you that Hillwood's Police Department will do everything possible to bring your daughter back to you."

"Well," Bob grunted, "I don't see how that's gonna happen when you're all messing around in my house!"

Adam suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "In these cases, all there's left to do is wait for the phone call so that we can trace it and find out where the suspects are hiding. We are terribly sorry for this liability that you have to put up with, but the intervention of your phone line is crucial."

Miriam stopped, turned to look at Adam and asked: "isn't there anything else we can do?"

"I wish there was, ma'am, but the only other option would be to send teams to every possible place that could serve as a safe house for these kidnappers." He knew, the minute the words left his mouth, that he shouldn't have said that. Any other reasonable person would understand that it wasn't possible, but…

"Well, do it, then!" Mr. Pataki said.

"I-I'm afraid is not so simple, sir. In Hillwood City there are about 20 abandoned factories, 8 unguarded ancient buildings and over 200 empty residences—not to mention the possibility that these people are hiding in their own house. We don't even know who they are, we're only just trying to get a list of viable suspects by running background checks on disgruntled employees of Big Bob's Beepers" which, by the way, is an insanely long list, he added to himself.

"So?"

Adam sighed.

This is gonna be a long night.

So, the good news is that I finally got off my butt (or rather, on it, since I type while seated) and resumed the long-overdue writing of this fic so now you have a new chapter. The bad news is that it ends here.

But the other good news is that I've already started typing out the next chapter and I hope it will be ready soon—or at least it won't take years, again. By the way, I re-read all of the other chapters and the author notes and I wonder: if you once threw tomatoes at me for taking months to update, I dread to think what you guys will want to throw at me now that I've taken years…

Also, I want to tell you that, for a while, I considered re-writing the whole thing because there were so many things that I would like to change, style-wise. The history would be the same, but I would edit it completely. However, I decided against it (for now) because a) it would take a lot of time and you've already waited too long and b) I guess it's kinda cool to see for myself how my writing has changed and evolved (sort of), keeping it's basic essence, but… well… growing.

All this time out has given me a couple of interesting ideas that I intend to include, so, if you're still interested in this thing even after all these years, stay tunned =)

And yes… as promised:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...

Last minute update: I find it extremely amazing that, just as I'm uploading this new chapter, Nickelodeon is airing our favorite cartoon on the Nick At Nite segment. I think that's a sign that I should have never abandoned my story and now we found each other, I shouldn't let it go. I kinda feel like the Football Head is counting on me... =)