"You're gonna make us late!" Clarke hears Raven holler at her from the front door. She wishes to call back a snarky comment but she's lost in memories. She sits on the edge of her bed thinking back to the last true family dinner. Ever since she was a kid, Sunday dinners were a thing. Everyone was welcome and dinner lasted hours. They laughed so hard she almost peed her pants multiple times those nights. After her dad died, her mom continued the tradition and though she never ran from her seat to the bathroom, the nights were often bright spots in her months of numbness. It was over a year at this point since everyone gathered around the table. She fast forwards her mind to a month later-the last family dinner before Bellamy went to training. She barely sees through the fog but remembers how everyone lingered after, not wanting to say final goodbyes. Even though there were two empty chairs at the dining room table, that Sunday dinner was not a somber night. Everyone wanted to give Bellamy a great last memory together.
"Clarke! Did you hear me?" Raven's tone softens as she pokes her head in Clarke's room and sees Clarke sitting on the bed just staring at her hands.
Clarke raises her head with teary eyes and a small smile. She takes a few moments to formulate her words and Raven's face begins to mirror Clarke's. After Clarke doesn't move, Raven takes a few steps into the room. Before she reaches the bed, Clarke whispers, "We had some good times. Didn't we?"
Raven takes a deep breath and shifts all her weight to her good leg. She glances away from Clarke and her eyes catch on something. Clarke follows her gaze and lands on a photo of her, Raven, Finn, Bellamy and Octavia. It had been snapped at the beach the day after high school graduation. Finn wasn't even looking at the camera. He was grinning at her and she had on an innocent smile holding no inhibitions or hints of pain. Raven sat on Bellamy's shoulders and Octavia's arm was slung around his back. They were happy. They had their lives in front of them. They had each other. Tears well at her own naivety. Raven turns away from the photo and back to Clarke. She swallows a lump and gives her a smile. "Yeah, Clarke, we did. Now, let's go have some more." Raven reaches down to grab Clarke's hand and yank her up.
"You're late!" Octavia hollers at Clarke before running to throw her arms around her. She hadn't even made it a step through the door before Octavia's attack. Even though her honeymoon had only been a week, Clarke feels like she hasn't seen Octavia in months.
"I missed you, too," Clarke responds squeezing her tight before Octavia moves on to Raven and Clarke's engulfed by Lincoln. The next in line is Bellamy and his hug feels more meaningful than a hello. After releasing, he gives her an expecting look but she moves on to the women in the kitchen doorway.
"Hi, Mom," Clarke says into Abby's shoulder as her Mom holds her close. She loves her mom. There's never been any doubt about it but ever since that night, being around her always makes the weight in her heart a few pounds heavier.
Her Mom leans back and holds Clarke's face in her hands. Her Mom examines her face for some time before nodding as if Clarke somehow passed a test. "How's my favorite kid?" Abby asks. Clarke ducks her head and debates the answer. She looks back up giving a smile just for her mom. Clarke moves further into the kitchen allowing for Abby to greet her actual favorite daughter―Raven.
"What's for dinner?" Bellamy yells over the hubbub of greetings. That gets everyone moving into the kitchen and living room. Lincoln and Clarke help Abby finish prepping while the rest goof off in the living room. Clarke stifles a giggle toward Bellamy gagging as Octavia alludes to night time activities on her honeymoon. Before she knows it, the group's gathered around the dining room table passing dishes.
Once the battle for food dies down, Abby gets everyone's attention. She raises her glass in a toast as she has every family dinner. "We celebrate two things at tonight's dinner: Octavia and Lincoln's union and Bellamy's short return. To the couples happily ever after and to Bellamy's safety while protecting our country." Abby pauses for a moment and stares at the empty chair opposite her before continuing with her traditional quote, "To the health and joy of all present and the peace of those not." As Abby sits, she grabs a tight hold on Clarke's hand. Clarke gives her mom a small nod of appreciation before reaching for her fork and food.
The rest of the time around the table goes by in typical Family Dinner fashion. Octavia talks more about the honeymoon (though no more about what happened after sundown) and doing something extreme. Abby shoots her looks of disdain which Octavia happily ignores. Raven talks about blowing something up but gets way too technical. Bellamy interrupts her to inform her of a better way to arm the bomb and they bicker. Lincoln shows off some of his sketches from hikes. Clarke's the only one who appreciates them as everyone else cheers on Octavia hanging a spoon off her nose. No matter the squabbles, everyone's in good spirits and it's almost like before. Clarke laughs often though it once catches in her throat when she looks towards the empty spots. She covers it with coughing but everyone knows. Everyone also knows to allow her to recover alone.
Clarke's drying the dishes as Lincoln washes when she hears her phone buzz. She's fairly certain the text is from Lexa because everyone else she texts sits in the adjacent room. She puts down the dried plate and unlocks her phone. There sits a new text from Lexa:
(8:15 PM) L: Hey! I just wanted to check you are still coming over at 9
(8:18 PM) C: I'll be there :)
Clarke reads back through the texts from the day before when she struggled to even get out of bed.
(10:02 AM) L: Hey! I just want to make sure you are okay. And thank you for a great time last night.
(11:16 AM) C: Hey… Sorry about the texts.
(11:16 AM) C: I had a great time too
(11:18 AM) L: Do you want to talk about it?
(12:32 AM) L: I am sorry. I did not mean to push. I just want you to be happy.
(01:03 PM) C: No no I'm sorry. I fell back asleep. Um.. Not over text
(01:04 PM) C: But I want to
(01:05 PM) L: Oh, it is okay.
(01:05 PM) L: I have to work today but maybe we could do something tomorrow?
(01:06 PM) C: I have a dinner tomorrow but after? Like 9?
(01:08 PM) L: Sounds like a plan.
Lincoln grunts making Clarke peek up from the conversation and realize he had been watching her the whole time. She knows a small smile plays on her lips but doesn't hide it―Lexa's texts show how much she cares and are what pushed her to want to talk. She hadn't had a bad night like Friday in a while. She usually never texts anyone while in her drunken state. She thinks her and Lexa are something but doubts they can become more without her being honest. She wants to heal and maybe talking to someone Lexa about it will help.
She flicks the drying towel at Lincoln causing him to give her a nod before returning to the dish in his hand. Clarke glances toward the living room to see Raven and Abby gossiping together. Her Mom looks her way but snaps her head back towards Raven when she sees Clarke staring back. Clarke raises an eyebrow towards a now angelic looking Raven. She shakes her head laughing and returns to drying.
Everyone's gathering up but Clarke's the first to make her way to the door (Raven's catching a ride with Bellamy home). Good byes take the typical 20 minutes and she's almost outside when she feels a hand on her arm. Clarke turns to see her mom watching her with a smile. Clarke raises an eyebrow. Her mom whispers, "So Raven mentioned I should ask you about who you were texting?"
Clarke can't even shoot Raven a death stare due to her position so she just swallows the glare and thinks through what to share (and payback for Raven when she gets home). Clarke decides honesty works best though maybe not everything. "Her names Lexa. We went on a date to an art gallery. I don't know what we are but.." She tapers off for a moment considering her final words. "She's good for me."
Her Mom gives no response just wrapping Clarke into a smothering hug. "I need to go, Mom," Clarke mumbles into her shoulder.
Her Mom releases and smoothes Clarke's hair. As Clarke turns to leave, her Mom shoots out, "I love you."
Clarke looks back over her should and declares, "I love you, too."
"You're right on time," Lexa blurts out before the doors fully open.
Clarke smiles at Lexa's eagerness and responds, "That would be the first time today."