Chapter 10

THE CHOICES YOU MADE

A/N: Sorry for the delay!Real life and all that jazz! I could go on and on with excuses for the delay, but instead I'll simply apologize profusely, thank you all for hanging in there and express my ever growing gratitude for all your wonderful reviews and much appreciated support.

Disclaimer: Don't own. I do own amnesic Harry… Oh wait! Voldie owns that one. Crap…

Let's begin…

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"If you can't remember for yourself, I'll simply show you," answered Voldemort as he proceeded to walk out of the room.

Snape and Malfoy positioned themselves on each side of the door and Harry glared.

His headache wasn't getting any better.

Harry stared at the ceiling of the bed.

And he stared some more.

Eventually he realized that the answers to all of life's questions may be written somewhere, but that place was not the ceiling of this particular bed. So he got up and went to the window.

As he looked to the landscape outside he tried to recognize something, but everything was completely unfamiliar to him, like this was the first time he was seeing this view.

And it was! What was he thinking?! He couldn't possibly be considering Voldemort's words! This was not his room. In fact, he had never been here before, and he was sure of it -or was he? Damn! He wasn't sure of anything right now. Well, that was not exactly true. He was sure of something - he was sure he had to go and find some answers.

If not to all of life's questions, then at least to his lack-of-memory-questions!

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Meanwhile, Voldemort was sitting in a chair in his library with the Pensieve on the table in front of him. Sitting in the chairs by the fireplace, there were Lucius and Snape. He had called both of them about one hour ago. He was expecting Mr. Potter to come barging in at anytime, demanding answers. He could just imagine it: The door would swing open with a loud bang and the boy would come rushing in and probably yelling 'I want some answers and you're going to give them to me!

BANG!

Voldemort looked up to see his beautiful library doors hanging open and standing right there was Harry Potter.

"I want some answers and you're going to give them to me!"

Voldemort couldn't help it, he burst out laughing.

The boy just stared at him like he had suddenly grown a second head.

He decided to take pity on the boy. and said:

"We have been making arrangements for precisely that." He indicated a chair in front of his table for Harry to sit on. Once when he was seated Voldemort continued, "I have asked Severus and Lucius to put some of their own memories about the last year, which you seem to be lacking, and I also put some of my own in this. Do you know what this is?"

"A Pensieve…" Harry said his huge green eyes bright with a spark of recognition.

Voldemort raised an eyebrow, "Oh… you're familiar with it?"

"Yes, I… read about it somewhere," Harry stuttered with a blush.

'Seriously, how had this boy managed to survive this long while being such a bad liar?' thought Voldemort, 'I will have to learn more about this.' " Well, then you know what it does. It stores memories and allows one to view them, and that what we will be doing."

"We?"

"Of course, you certainly don't thing I'm going to let you go there alone? How would you know what you were viewing that way?"

"Oh…" said Harry. "Okay, I guess." 'It's not like I have to believe in anything you show me anyway,' he thought.

"Then if you approve… let's go!" With that last sarcastic remark, he grabbed Harry's shoulder, and as they leaned over the Pensieve, everything swirled around.

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"Ouch!" When Harry came to himself he was sitting on his ass, while Voldemort was coolly standing by his side.

"Let's start with the beginning, yes? Then go on until we reach the end and then we'll stop." said Voldemort. "I believe you told me the last thing you remembered was our little dispute in the cemetery?"

"Our little dispute?!" sputtered Harry, getting to his feet.

"Why, what else would you call it? Certainly not a real duel…"

"But… a fight?" he tried.

Voldemort made an expression of distaste. "I don't fight. Animals fight, school boys have fights. Grown men have duels or disputes."

"Fine, where are we?"

"Make an educated guess."

Harry looked around and recognized the place immediately.

"The cemetery."

Voldemort gave a light nod.

Harry understood why he hadn't recognized it right away. It was empty. Sure there were graves and everything about the surroundings looked the same, but there was no one there, no Voldemort, no Pettigrew, no Death Eaters.

And all of a sudden Pettigrew was there and Nagini, also an enormous black caldron, and from there on, the ritual to bring Voldemort back to life began.

Voldemort had been expecting some sort of reaction, some 'can't they see us?' or other equally ignorant question typical of Harry, but as he watched the boy only seemed interested in the events; there was no surprise or concern coming from him. Indeed Harry seemed quite familiar with these proceedings, certainly not something he could learn from a book… hum, he would have to look into that.

Everything from there on went precisely as Harry remembered it. He saw himself arrive from the sky with Cedric by the Tri-Wizard cup portkey.

He saw himself, scared and confused but decided he couldn't help but to feel a small amount of pride, he had his wand ready, even through his panicked state. He had still been ready to fight for his life, and defend himself and Cedric. Even if he had failed to save him, he had at least tried.

And now, looking at the memory, the last one he still remembered, he felt his heart clench, when Wormtail cast the killing curse and Cedric fell. He couldn't help but shudder. Harry knew there was nothing he could do, this was only a memory and Cedric was long dead, but still he couldn't stop the feeling of helplessness that threatened to over well him and it only seemed to grow as he watched from his place beside Voldemort.

They were quite far away from the actual scene. He could see everything clearly but could barely hear any more than some detached words, screams, curses and other loud noises, as the rest of the memory unfolded.

Wormtail binding him, the ritual, the shimmering caldron, Voldemort's rebirth, the Death Eaters, Voldemort taunting him, the duel, the wands merging… everything just seemed to mend together in his head as he saw the memory and at the same time remembered it.

Until he reached the point from which he remembered no more.

The 'he' from the memory had just escaped from the weird wand-bonding-thing, and after he dodged several of the curses cast by the Death Eaters, 'he' was running to Cedric, when he was hit with a spell on the back and fell forward.

"Am I correct to assume you remember nothing after this?" asked Voldemort

Harry just nodded.

"Then we should approach closer, assuming you do not wish to just see what happened, but also to hear it."

Once again Harry nodded and they moved closer. As the memory continued on several Death Eaters were now moving a knocked out Harry to the head stone where Voldemort waited.

The memory-Voldemort proceeded to send his Death Eaters away, all of them, including Wormtail.

Then he just stood there and looked at memory-Harry's body on the ground at his feet. Finally, after what seemed to Harry like an eternity, memory-Voldemort cast a spell that tied memory-Harry to the head stone then ennervated him.

Memory-Harry looked around and couldn't stop the expression of surprise that crossed his face when he saw he was alone with the Dark Lord, who then proceeded to bend down and stare directly into his face.

Harry was clearly fighting to ignore his fear, and failing miserably. Even the fact that they were alone was making matters worse. But he wasn't dead yet, so maybe he could buy time. Real-Harry was now close enough to inspect his memory counterpart's expression and recognized easily: 'Someone would come and save him right?' That was what was going through his mind, real-Harry could also clearly see the exact moment in which his memory-self stopped believing that.

The memory-Voldemort had yet to move.

"Where's are your Death Eaters?" memory-Harry said curiously. "Ran away scared?"

When Voldemort didn't answer he continued.

"I thought you wanted them to see you kill me, something to do with your continued inability to do it."

To this memory-Voldemort let out a smirk. "All in good time, Mr. Potter. Your death will come eventually, but apparently not tonight."

Harry's eyes widened in an almost comical way.

"It's not that I don't want you dead as fast as possibly..." said Voldemort. "It's that the Universe doesn't. I'm not stupid."

Memory-Harry snorted.

Voldemort ignored him and continued: "All those other times in which you have somehow managed to destroy my plans and survive could have been luck. In fact, in the beginning of this evening I dearly believed they were. But this is far too much. The question, Mr. Potter, is no longer if it's luck or not, but what should I do with you, if I can't indeed kill you?"

"Let me see if I got this right: you aren't going to kill me?"

"Are you in such a hurry to die?"

"Not particularly."

"Good." Memory-Voldemort stood up and stepped back. "I too am in no rush to meet my maker, something that appears to almost happen every time I try to kill you." He bent closer to Harry again. "So what to do? It appears that we are stuck together. The Fates themselves keep conspiring to throw us at each other, but what do you think?"

Real-Harry observed while his memory-self nodded. He couldn't help the smirk that surged from hearing memory-Voldemort going on and on with his evil Overlord speech. After all, this was just a memory and real-Harry couldn't stop himself from seeing the humor in the situation. No matter what was going to happen, he was going to live since he was here to see this memory. Even so, nothing could have prepared him to the next phrase that came out of memory-Voldemort's mouth.

"So, Mr. Potter - Harry - I'd like to offer you another opportunity."

Memory-Harry blinked. "Another opportunity for what?"

Memory-Voldemort was observing memory-Harry with quite a predatory look. He examined the boy oddly; his red eyes stared directly into Harry's green ones. The scrutiny made Harry shudder. "You are very powerful," memory-Voldemort murmured. "You've grown well."

"So?" It was hard to keep the suspicion out of his tone.

"If you joined me now, we would be undefeatable together."

Real-Harry and memory-Harry shared the same reaction: they gaped. "Join you?"

"Yes," memory-Voldemort continued, he seemed enthralled by the idea. Harry didn't get it.

"But you tried to kill me--"

"--And failed. Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result is a sign of insanity, you know?"

Harry just stared at him, the man was insane.

"Think of it, Harry. We could end this pointless war right now. Thousands of lives would be saved. Peace would reign, isn't that what you want?"

"At what cost?" he asked.

"Well, that's the question, isn't it Harry?" Voldemort said. "What would you do for peace? What would you sacrifice?

Your dear Dumbledore," he spat out the name, "probably told you that I want peace for only the select few, but I want it for everyone. Dumbledore only cares for those who benefit from the ability to have uniquely light magic and who are born into the right families. They enjoy their happy little lives at the expense of the suffering of the rest of the Wizarding world. They use our wrongs as excuses to persecute us."

"And that would all change with you in power?"

"You have to admit that I'd be better than Fudge."

Real-Harry snorted. He couldn't help it. But at the same time what the memory-Voldemort had said rang a bell of truth in his head.

"I… I can't… you're trying to manipulate me… twisting the truth…"

"I am not and you know it. It's a simple decision, Harry, and one you don't have to make now. I doubt it would have any value if you made it now. There is a time in every life when paths are chosen and character is forged (1). Now is not that time, but when it is I'll find you. I always do." He made a gesture with his wand and memory-Harry was untied.

Harry watched bewildered as memory-Voldemort summoned the Tri-Wizard Cup and placed it in his even more bewildered memory-self, hands.

The memory twirled around them.

"You let me go?!"

"People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves."

"hum?" Harry didn't get it. At all.

Voldemort let out a sight, "I could have done only two things: kept you there until you were convinced, or killed you. I thought it would be stupid to continue to talk and try to get you to believe in something, which you obviously did not want to believe in. It seemed to me like an exercise in futility. I did have better things to do with me time, that with finally having a body, after spending 14 years as a bodiless spirit."

"…you let me go… so that I might believe for myself?! That's stupid! I would never, ever come to see things from your point of view. I won't ever believe you!

Voldemort raised an eyebrow.

Harry gasped, "Now wait a second!" then he sighted with a defeated look, "I did it, didn't I?"

Voldemort nodded his head and made a gesture with his hand. Several more memories skipped by, one of them stopped and they were suck into it.

They were inside some weird room with a huge arc right in the middle and there was a battle going on.

"We are inside the Ministry of Magic. In the Department of Mysteries to be more precise. This is not actually my memory, since I wasn't present at this precise moment, but Lucius Malfoy's memory of the events."

He observed the battle around him, trying to discover why the hell he was being showed this. Then he saw his Godfather, Sirius, slip through the veil after being hit by a curse. Harry ran forward without thinking that this was only a memory, and he gasped as his memory-self ran right through him trying to get to Sirius, but was caught by Remus who told him he was dead. Sirius was dead. He fell to his knees. How could he have forgotten about this? The pain was too unbearable, it was like someone was ripping a piece of his heart, his soul… then he heard Voldemort speak in his hear.

"I believe it was after this event that you had your 'change of heart'. You realized the realities of a war and tried to prevent any more people you loved from dying. You believed allying yourself with me was the way to end this war."

"Then are we done? No more memories?" Harry asked. He was about to cry, the grief was too overwhelming for him to handle and he did not wanted Voldemort to see that.

"Still one more memory left. This one is my own."

Everything twirled and this time they were in a room he recognized. They were in his room at the Dursleys. Memory-Voldemort was leaning against the door, while his own memory-self was sitting on the tattered bed.

"And Dumbledore?" asked the memory-Voldemort, "Do you expect me to believe you, Dumbledore's poster boy, have suddenly decided to turn your back on the old man?"

"He who fights against monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster in the process. And when you stare persistently into an abyss, the abyss also stares into you. (2)" memory-Harry paused. There was a calm expression on his face, like the expression on someone who had just found the answer to a question he had been searching for a long time. "I stared into the abyss and while staring I realized the abyss and I are more alike than I thought. We have so much in common and I found myself agreeing with many of the views and opinions of the 'abyss', if you get what I mean. I also found that Dumbledore lacks the ability to not lose himself in the 'process', in this war. I believe he has become the monsters he fights, and he appears to be incapable of admitting it."

"But you admit it? You've 'looked into the abyss' is it?" the memory-Voldemort smirked. "And tell me, won't this 'change of heart' make you one of the 'monsters' you seek to fight?"

"Maybe, but I think I understand it better now. There are no monsters. My godfather said to me: 'the world is not divided between Good people and Death Eaters.' And although I had already come to realized that, I think I needed the wake-up call," answered memory-Harry.

"So we are your wake-up call?"

"You were always my wake-up call and never in a good way. Somehow I doubt this is the time that it will be a 'good thing', at least, not for a lot of people."

Voldemort interrupted, "That is only if I believe in you, and in your unexpected and quite philosophic new view of things. Besides, if both Dumbledore and I are 'monsters', why would you pick me? Especially considering our past history…"

"I wouldn't. I did not pick you, I picked your side, the Dark Side and its views, the changes the Dark Side seeks to make in the wizarding world are changes I see as necessary and long-needed. Maybe I do not agree with many of the methods, but I began to believe they justify the end. And the past is the past; I do not wish to speak of it, especially with you. I live in the present, and in the present there is a war going on, a war I wish to end by whatever means necessary."

Harry watched himself, or his memory-self, stare right into memory-Voldemort's red gaze. "I am tired of working on a need-to-know basis; I want the truth, the all of it. You seem to be the only one who will tell me the truth, in fact you've always told me the truth, at least since you came back from the bodiless-spirit-world, and in a rather crude way."

Suddenly real-Harry felt a pull and a twirl, and he was out of the Pensieve. He was sitting on ground in Voldemort's library. With bottomless green eyes he looked at Voldemort who was standing and looking down at him. As he tried to formulate the question in his mind, Voldemort answered it.

"And that… is all you need to know."

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(1)A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray; Mary Dowd

(2)Beyond Good and Evil, "Fourth Part: Maxims and Interludes," section 146 (1886).
Friedrich Nietzsche

Ending A/N: If you can add to this story to your Alerts then you can also review and tell me what you think! in addition, ideasare great, I like them, please tell me what you want to see in this fic, not the plot of it, I have a very well thought of plot for this story, I know the things that are going to happen and I've a good idea of when, but I would totally love to read in your reviews about stuff you would like to see in it! Even if it's stupid, pointless stuff! Like imagine you've always wanted to read a fic in which Lucius Malfoy falls back when he's sitting on his chair; or Snape trips on his cape as he's walking down the stairs. Just stuff, I can pick up, and work with, to create entries for my scenes, and at the same time make some of your 'what if' moments a reality! Tell me what you think!