I emerged from the water with a big gasp for air, the waters pulling me away from the land I desperately wanted to be on. I thrashed around trying to swim my way to shore, but with little success.

"Arnold?! Arnold!" I screamed over the sound of the rushing waters, and I began to panic as I swam; searching for those blonde locks I knew had to be fighting the waters around me somewhere.

I remembered jumping, Arnold's hand had held so tightly onto mine as we leaped together into what could have been certain death. It was a weird feeling to jump without the assurance that you would be okay. For a split second I felt invincible as I free-fell through the air, only to have the cool water bring me back into reality. I don't remember when Arnold let go of my hand, but he was no where in sight and I was starting to worry his jumping idea had backfired on him.

"Arnold?! Criminy! Where ARE you?!" Water was forcing it's way into my mouth and down into my lungs to where I tried to cough it out while fighting the strong current.

"Helga!" I heard him shout from where, I didn't know. I looked around me but couldn't find his head bobbing out from the waters.

"Where are you?!" I asked again, my body beginning to tire from trying to keep my head above the water.

"Grab this!" He shouted over the roaring waterfall that was only splashing more water into my mouth and to my lungs. I was beginning to bob under the water as it grew harder and harder to stay afloat.

My eyes desperately searched around me for what he wanted me to grab. Finally, a waving branch was up ahead of me with Arnold soaking wet on the other end of it. I reached my arms up and out to try and take hold of the branch, but right as my hands touched it they slipped off and further I went with the river down its seemingly endless path.

The water was throwing me this way and that, jostling me around like a ragdoll with the strength of the current. My head was under the water now, my brain beginning to feel submerged with me as I felt my body sink deeper and deeper under the weight of the angry water. My feet tried to brush the floor, but there seemed to be no end to this river in either direction.

Maybe this is it. I thought to myself as the little strength I had left continued to fight to keep me afloat... but it was hopeless. I'm drowning. I'm going to drown. In San Lorenzo. And nobody will even know.

Well, Arnold would know.

At least I'd been with him. At least this was how it would end, with Arnold nearby, even if I couldn't see him. I tried to picture the way he looked at me when I first arrived only hours ago. He'd seemed so happy to see me and it was a memory I wanted to hold on to until it was all over.

I focused on that memory, on the way his green-eyes had glimmered with a joy I knew I had given him.

I focused on just before we had begun running for our lives- when he had almost kissed me. It had felt like FINALLY all of my football-headed dreams were coming true.

I focused on the memories of each kind thing he'd done or word he'd spoken to me.

I focused on each silly thing that had happened between us, even this as it was happening now.

I'd never wanted to live without Arnold in my life, even if it wasn't any more than the weird friendship we had somehow developed through the years. I focused on that, on that friendship and how he had single-handedly saved my life so many times before this and never even knew.

He didn't have to save me. He'd already done that. He'd BEEN doing that since we were tiny little toddlers wreaking havoc in Urban Tots pre-k.

The water held me down beneath it's surface, determined to snuff me out with all of the memories and secrets flashing before my eyes as I gave up fighting for the first time in my entire life.

The last thing I saw behind my eyelids was Arnold's beautiful, smiling face before the world around me faded to black and I let go so the current could finally win.

I thought I remembered an arm around my waist.

I thought I remembered being dragged through the angry waters and pulled onto shore.

I thought it felt like the grass was tickling my skin; cold from the impromptu bath I had just taken in the Jungle.

But I'd died, hadn't I?

I was dead, floating in the river... right?

My eyes fluttered open to see Arnold above me begging me to wake up. His hands were pushing hard on my chest and after a moment, my body responded by coughing up the water that had tried to take over my lungs.

I couldn't help but sit straight up and cough with everything I had until my throat couldn't take the burn any more. Arnold's hand was gently resting on my back as I tried to catch my breath.

"Are you okay?" He asked after I had stopped coughing, his breathing also labored from whatever it was he had just done to save my life.

"H-how... did... y-you-"

"I jumped in after you." He replied immediately, a small smile on his face. He squeezed water out of his hat that he had somehow managed to keep through the whole ordeal.

"Why... would you... do...that? Are-are... you... DUMB?!"

His eyes widened in slight confusion at my reaction. "I just saved your life, and you're...calling me dumb?"

I reached up to pull the pony-tail out of my messy, (and now tangled) wet hair and shook my head a bit to get it to lay flat so I could group it together and ring the water out. "You...could have... died!"

Arnold crossed his arms, clearly not amused with what I had just said. "And you would have if I didn't save you."

I sighed and flung my hair back; reaching up to tossle it slightly so it fell somewhat neatly around my face. "You need... to find your parents." I said, my breathing beginning to gain control of itself once again.

"I'll find my parents, Helga... But I'm not about to let you die in the process."

"I was fine, Arnold. I AM fine... Really. Don't...Don't worry about ME... sheesh."

Arnold remained quiet as I fought with my hair, but it was starting to 'floof' and my bangs wouldn't cooperate by falling in a line across my forehead the way they normally did when dry. Instead, they insisted on curling to the side, covering up my eye like an annoying curtain you can't seem to get rid of when all you want is some light.

"Whatever you say, Helga. Whatever you s-" But he cut himself off abruptly the moment I stood and turned around to face him.

I cocked an eyebrow and set my hands on my hips while looking at him. "What?" I asked, his eyes wide as he continued to stare at me.

He looked me over from head to toe then flashed his eyes up to my face again where he squinted in concentration for a long moment. "You..." he tried, but only shook his head with a laugh of disbelief. "No. You couldn't be."

I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. "I couldn't be...what?"

His eyelids fluttered slightly before he blinked a couple of times and turned around to begin walking deeper into the jungle; leaving me behind still stunned.

Realizing he wasn't coming back, I scurried after Arnold. I wasn't about to get lost with that mad man La Sombrero and his friends so close around. "Hey Arnold! Wait up!"

Arnold's pace slowed, but he remained walking forward in determination. I frowned, jogging slightly to get beside him. "What's the deal, huh? You were just going to... ditch me back there to fend for myself? Abandon me or something? Drop the 'dead weight?'" I felt defensive all of a sudden, my words giving away my insecurities.

"What are you talking about? You aren't dead weight. And I would hardly say I abandoned you, Helga. Do you really think I'd do that to you?" He responded, his attention still set dead ahead as we walked together.

"Well... well NO, but that's only because you're a predictable goody-goody." I heard his small chuckle and continued. "Answer me this though Arnoldo the Explorer- just what was the look for?" I pushed, but he was still not giving anything away.

"What look?"

"What look." I repeated with irritation. "You know what look. The LOOK. The look you gave me by the waterfall back there."

Arnold looked at me briefly before returning his attention ahead and stepping over a few branches; I followed suit. "We need to find a spot to sit down and figure out what we're going to do."

"You're avoiding my question, Arnold..."

"Eduardo said just passed the waterfall there would be an altar, but I don't see a thing..."

"Right. So just ignore me. That's cool too." I said, mostly to myself as Arnold was now (purposefully) lost in thought.

I groaned and stomped my foot on the soft Earth beneath me. "Arnold. I am not moving a single step forward until you and your freakish head answer my question."

His shoulders raised and dropped as he sighed and turned around to look at me with his arms crossed. "I was just trying to remember something. That's all."

"Well what? It must have been important-"

"It was. It is, actually. But... but not now."

I mirrored his stance as we faced each other. "You know that makes no sense, right?"

"What makes no sense is Eduardo telling me the directions to the green-eyes' altar NOW and not MONTHS ago when we first started looking for them..."

I clammed up, realizing Arnold's point.

He'd known all along.

"You mean...?" I asked, not needing to finish my sentence for Arnold to understand the question.

"Yeah. Eduardo... lied to me." His gaze migrated downward to the ground where he closed his eyes in clear hurt and disappointment. "But...why?" It was an open-ended question, one I had no answer to.

Why indeed would someone once so close to those he was supposedly searching for purposefully withhold such information?

I wanted to reach out to him. I wanted to envelop Arnold in the warm embrace that would take away some of that pain; some of that betrayal.

But he turned around again, his eyes now trailing from the land up ahead to the sky; the stars shining brightly above us. "We should make a camp."

"Camp? You're nuts! They were RIGHT BEHIND US." I gestured to the general blackness of the jungle we'd just emerged from.

Arnold shook his head as he began to walk again, this time looking carefully out at our surroundings. "We jumped off of a waterfall. They won't be after us- at least not tonight. Nobody wants to be in the jungle alone after dark."

Which was just peachy considering that was the exact position we were in.

Alone in the jungle when it was DEFINITELY after dark.

Almost instantly I was painfully aware of all the sounds surrounding us that I didn't know, sounds that I hated to admit scared me. I wasn't knowledgeable about bugs and jungle life like Nadine. I hadn't been in the jungle for months like Arnold. All I had were my two fists, incredible wit and a mean stank-eye which wouldn't get me very far here.

Arnold sensed my discomfort.

"It's going to be alright." He assured, stopping in a semi-open area surrounded with sky-scraper-tall trees. "We'll stay here tonight and when we get up in the morning, we can think of a plan."

"And what if we CAN'T think of a plan. THEN what, Einstein?"

He swung his backpack off of his shoulders and unzipped the main compartment to dump out a clump of soggy (now worthless) papers on the jungle floor; a familiar leather-bound book thumping to the ground with them. Quickly, he dropped the backpack and reached for the journal, opening it with a smile and turning it around to show me the mostly-dry pages. "THIS is our plan, Helga."

"And those spitballs?" I pointed down to the wad of wet papers Arnold had been so determined to gather before leaving his hut in our wild rush. I looked down at my shirt to see the few pages I'd managed to smuggle out of his hut were long gone after my river excursion.

Arnold shrugged his shoulders, not worried in the slightest- or at least he wasn't showing it. "I thought I needed them, but I don't. Most of those tips were bogus anyway."

I moved to sit on a large rock covered by a thin layer of greenery. "So you mean to tell me all we have is a wet backpack, a wad of mushy nonsense and THAT journal?" I pointed a lone finger to where he held the leather book tightly to his chest.

"And each other." Even in the dark I could see his bright smile illuminating in my direction.

My cheeks lit with fire under my skin and I imagined they were bea red from his comment. No doubt Arnold would have noticed had it not been for the total blackness of night.

I thanked the heavens for night.

"Each other, huh?" Arnold nodded his head once at my statement. Slapping my hands down on my thighs, I pushed myself up to stand and took a deep shaky breath. "Alright, football-head. What do we gotta do?"

It took Arnold and I less than an hour and a half to construct a shack out of leaves, twigs, branches and other miscellaneous nature shavings so we would have 'shelter' us for the night.

Arnold did most of the work of course, seeing as I had no clue what I was doing. But he didn't seem to mind; just enjoyed having someone to talk to, even if it was just me.

Although I probably made pretty shitty company with my lack-of-conversation.

My mind kept wandering while I watched Arnold construct the shack. I focused on the way the muscles in his arms tensed as he tied branches together using 'rope' I'd made by peeling apart pliable branches like string cheese- per his instruction. I marveled at his now sun-tanned skin, seemingly darker in the shadows of the night. The darker hue of his skin covered his body so smoothly; like satin I longed to reach out and caress.

Arnold wasn't the little kid I had first loved so long ago and at so young. He'd grown up into a young man, a MAN, and it wasn't until now that I'd really taken the time to notice. I'd spent so long obsessing over him from memory, dreams and wildly specific fantasies that I never took the time to look at Arnold for all he'd become since our elementary days at PS 118.

It didn't help that I was so determined to keep my love for him a secret that I hardly ever found myself able to look at him for long periods of time. There was never a CHANCE to observe or commit the man he'd grown into to my memory. He'd always caught me when I stared and I'd always shoot back a glare, an insult, an eye-roll or anything else I could think of rather than tell the truth or fess up the feelings I frequently stowed away in the pit of my dark heart.

A dark heart that had always found it's light in the glow of Arnold's piercing green-eyes and inviting smile.

He stood up from his previously crouched position and rubbed his dirt-coated hands on the thighs of his jeans. When he turned around to pick up a few more bendable branches from the pile we'd collected, I chewed on my lip and silently took the time to inspect him from top to bottom.

Despite his last name, Arnold had sprouted like a weed with puberty; no longer Shortman but stood at a not-too-shabby 5'11" abouts. I could only guess based on my own height which was 5'8" so he wasn't THAT much taller than me, but he still had to look down when he looked at me.

It had this weird kind of affect on me, him looking down instead of up at me. I wasn't too fond of feeling weak or that I needed protection like some frail damsel in a Disney movie, but when Arnold looked down at me from the few inches he had above me- I felt safe. His height didn't make me feel weak, inferior or like a wimp who needed to be protected and saved, but rather an EQUAL who was WORTH protecting and a PRIVILEGE to save.

I rolled my eyes at my cheesefest of a thought.

The other thing about Arnold's ride through puberty-ville was how much smaller his head seemed. I'd spent our whole lives calling him 'football-head' and a freak based solely on his unusual head shape, but now that he'd matured and... filled out a bit more (those shoulders... that strong back... I swooned), it didn't look so unusual. Almost like he'd... grown into it. It still had it's oblong shape to it though, a comforting reminder of who he was as a kid and probably always would be.

My football-headed angel.

"Helga? Could you bring me those huge leaves you found? I want to use them as a roof..." He said, his tone slightly preoccupied as he held together the top of the shack waiting for me to bring the leaves.

"Yeah? And what do I get out of it?" I asked playfully, bringing an armful to him.

He looked at me suspiciously, for what reason I can't figure, and started taking the leaves one by one to overlap them on top of the shack; making a very effective and fairly sturdy ceiling.

"A dry head? Unless..." His voice trailed off.

I cocked a hip and set my hand on it. "Unless...?" I repeated, twirling one hand around in a circle as a gesture for him to finish his sentence.

"...Unless you wanted to look at the stars or something. They're... They're stunning out here." He looked around the blackness that surrounded us, his arms outstretched as if trying to show me something. "No lights and all. They really shine." He explained, almost trying to sell me on the idea of sleeping under the stars. After a moment, he dropped his arms back to his sides.

His tone was smooth as butter. Arnold's voice had developed a warm baritone quality to it since it started cracking when we were in sixth grade. I smirked internally at the memory. He'd been so embarrassed when he talked; a constant pink hue on his cheeks each time I saw him. But I knew, like everyone else, he'd blossom out of it.

And boy, had I been right.

His voice almost reminded me of the hot butter brandy Miriam sometimes drank on cold winter nights. She'd let me try it once; it's comforting and soothing combination coating my throat as it slid down my esophagus. Funny how the first thing I thought of was Arnold's voice, the way it too comforted and soothed me even against my wishes on occasion. He had a hold on me, especially with that voice of his. Sultry, alluring, calm, deep and warm- tones of golden amber dancing through the sound waves his voice made as it danced its way into my ears.

I had to forcibly pull myself out of my thoughts just to get out a response. What had he said again?

"Uh..." I managed, but Arnold shrugged it off.

"You're probably right," he quickly said, even though I wasn't right about anything- I hadn't even responded properly. "We should probably have a roof. In case it rains."

Stars.

I suddenly remembered what it was he'd asked.

He'd wanted to look at the STARS.

I scrambled to save my chance to stargaze with Arnold, an opportunity I may never have again; especially under these circumstances. "No. No, no. Stars... I mean, THE stars..." I cleared my throat, the air around me suddenly feeling thick in my lungs.

I tried again. "We could... we could look at them. The stars."

A big smile lit up his face at this. "Really?"

I shrugged tiredly, my arms wrapping around my body in an effort to warm my chilly bare arms that were now sporting quite an array of goosebumps. "S-sure, why not. I mean... I GUESS we can. Seeing as you say they're so nice and all."

The jungle was proving to be a nice escape from the world we'd grown up in. Out here in the middle of nowhere, we were free to be whatever it is we were compelled to be.

And while the jungle had plenty of terrifying things- things like animals, poisonous plants and even the Earth itself with her unpredictable nature -it was still better than our humanized world.

'Our world' was a world full of pollution, garbage, hateful people and disappointment. 'Our world' was nothing like the world of the San Lorenzo Jungle.

Although with the threat of La Sombra lurking around a corner somewhere, it seemed that hateful people existed in every corner of the Earth- even the corners 'untouched' by man.

But man couldn't touch the stars, no matter how hard we tried. We could screw up the Earth, kill the one thing keeping us alive, but we couldn't destroy the stars that shined brightly down on us; unbiased to what we've done or will do.

They were untouchable. But beautiful to look at. Even if it was just through a small 'window' in an even smaller shack in the middle of a very big jungle. A small shack with hardly enough room for two grown people.

Fine by me, I thought to myself, trying to sneakily snuggle closer to Arnold as he lay beside me with his arms holding up his head like a pillow. I couldn't help but watch him as he gazed up at the lights twinkling in the sky's black abyss. A smile was softly resting on his lips, his eyes searching the heavens above.

With effort, I pulled my gaze away from Arnold to follow suit and look up at the brightest stars I'd ever seen in my whole life.

Arnold was right. They WERE stunning.

Same old stars I'd seen all my life, only brighter here. Vibrant.

I felt like a star shining brighter in the dim of the jungle. If the same stars that seemed so faint from my window at home could shine so brilliantly in this different environment... couldn't I too shine brilliantly? Shine to my fullest potential?

Even the light from the small fire that was burning just outside our shack couldn't dim the stars here...

Arnold's voice captured my attention.

"You know what I always thought about stars? When I looked up at them growing up?" He asked, his voice as faraway as the bright lights flickering in the sky.

"And what's that?" I asked, my attention focused on his voice as he spoke.

"I always wondered," he began, his words careful and slow as if he was trying to string them together in a very specific way. "I always wondered if my parents were looking up at the same moment I was. Back in Hillwood. Made me feel... closer somehow. It's comforting to think someone is out there sharing something with you, even if it's just as simple as the stars."

His eyes looked away from the sky in almost embarrassment. "That sounds dumb, doesn't it?"

I shook my head, dumbfounded at his words. "N-not at all..." My voice trailed off, along with my thoughts.

My thoughts were on that poem I swore I'd read to Arnold when we made our deal those months ago. He would send me his music, and I would read him a poem.

I'd spent countless hours memorizing it, hoping that when my chance came to recite it, I could say it effortlessly in a way that would get the message across. I wasn't familiar with reading poetry, afterall. All of my poems stayed locked away in journals nobody dared look in. The only ones having seen the light of day were from that blasted parrot and my first poem book... the one I believed Arnold still had with him... somewhere.

"Arnold?" I asked, my voice small and scared as I prepared myself for a very, very bold move.

"Yeah, Helga?"

"I uh... I've thought that before...before too." I settled on, his head turning to look at me as I lay beside him.

"Really? About the star thing? Huh."" He smiled at me, then returned his gaze up the stars with his mind lost in elsewhere.

But this was it. I couldn't chicken out now.

You know the poem, Helga. You recited it every day in the mirror like a buffoon! You can do this, Helga ol girl...

"Do you... remember that deal we made? On the webcam?"

Arnold nodded his head, a smile widening on his face. "Of course I do. You were going to read me a poem as payment for my music."

I was stunned at his immediate response as if he'd been thinking about it this whole time.

"Right..." I dragged out, "and the other deal? The one where I tell you where I'd go if I could disappear anywhere?"

His head slowly turned back to me, his eyes curious for where I was going with this sudden topic. "What about it?"

The stars seemed to spin above me, a whirlpool of lights dancing before my eyes; taunting me to follow through with my deal. "You still... wanna know?"

"Which one?"

"Both." I swallowed the dry lump that had been building in my throat with each word I spoke.

"At once?"

Criminy, what part of this was he not getting?

"Yeah... kind of a... kill two birds with one stone kinda deal."

He was nodding his head, his eyes again focused on the stars above us.

"So you wanna hear it, or what?" I snapped, more in fear than in anger.

Arnold chuckled, "I'd love to hear it."

"You aren't going to make me translate it, are you? Caaaaaause I was KINDA hoping you'd let me skip that part. Seeing as I'm already WAY better at Spanish than I was when we first started and what with our current circumstance and all- who knows when I'll be back in that class anyway?"

It seemed I had him convinced because he didn't even try to fight me. "You can say it in English, Helga. It's just you and me here anyway."

Yeah, Arnold. Like I need YOU reminding me that. My heart already did each time I looked at your sweet and devilishly handsome face. That face for which I longed with each passing moment to reach out and pull in so I could kiss those sweet, soft lips and-

"So do I get to hear it or what?" He asked, mimicking the way I'd said those very words moments ago.

"My, my. You've gotten sassy, Hair Boy."

"Yeah... and YOU're stalling."

He was right though- I WAS stalling.

I wasn't too eager to spill my feelings in poetic form at the moment, but now was as good a time as any. At least with poetry I could say whatever I wanted... and then let the READER figure out the rest; if they so desired.

With a deep breath, I prepared the nerves going wild in my body for what I was about to do. It wasn't like he hadn't read my poetry before he just... didn't know it was mine is all...

What kind of consequences were ahead? What would he say? Would he understand it all? Of course he would, he's not a COMPLETE idiot...

My thoughts were roaming wild, trying to distract myself from the task at hand.

One more breath, In... out... Arnold waited patiently for me to begin, clearly knowing this wasn't something I'd ever done before.

Stars, Helga... just focus on the stars I told myself, gluing my eyes up ahead on the dots of light looking down on me with a weird sense of encouragement.

The adrenaline pumped through me and before I knew it... I was talking.

"Dismal dreams awaken me.

The Nightmare's kiss has shaken me.

Starlight bleeds through the sky;

it's in their light I find your kind eyes.

They shine like your stars from worlds away

while I, the prisoner, contemplate

if those stars that you look upon

Hold any comfort now that you're gone.

They twinkle, they blink, and I can't help but stare.

My mind starts to wonder if they shine over there.

Do they sparkle for you the way they do me?

Does it offer you solace to know that you see

the same set of stars illuminating the sky

as those long ago who have withered and died?

But the stars, oh the stars, hold the memories and dreams-

hold the wishes and the wants in the light that it beams.

If that light were but wings that could take me away

I could just close my eyes and escape from this place.

I would fly through the night with the moon as my guide;

strip away my insecurities and dispose of my pride.

It's the jungle that I'd run to; by your side I would stay.

For only the starlight in your eyes can chase the bad dreams away."

I shut my eyes tightly as I lay frozen next to the very muse of every poem I'd ever written; including the one I'd just recited for him.

He didn't speak however, which only scared me more. Slowly I fluttered my eyes open and snuck at peek at Arnold who had his eyes locked on me.

All night he'd been toggling his attention between our talking and those stars up above, but right now- his focus was on me... his jaw slightly agape.

"Helga... that was-"

But all of my insecurities were back immediately and back at full force.

I shot up to sit and crawl out of the shack in complete shame for what I'd just basically admitted through written word. "Dumb? Stupid? Uninspired? Unimaginative?" I was out of the shack now, trying to escape the awkward air I left behind with Arnold.

Words continued to spew from my mouth as I tried to finish Arnold's sentence for him. "Embarrassing? Pathetic? Pitiful? Lame? Take your pick, I have plenty." I finalized, turning around to look at him as he followed me outside the shack in the direction of the fire we still hadn't put out.

A smile was on his face as he watched me, his eyes lacking any form of judgment or harshness.

He waited for a moment to see if I was done, which I was, and then shoved his hands into his pockets with a (n incredibly sexy) shrug of his shoulders while he looked at me through his eyelashes. "Amazing." He looked at me fully now, smiling almost bashfully. "I was going to say amazing."

I looked to him in stupor, my heart stopping for a beat. "Wait... Really?"

He nodded his head, his smile growing wider. "Yes, Helga. Really. It was... incredible. I didn't know you could write like that."

The shadows of the fire we'd made danced on his face as I looked at him.

"Yeah, well, there are A LOT of things I can do that you and that head of yours couldn't possibly imagine, BUCKO." I pointed a threatening finger at him, narrowing my eyes slightly.

Amazing... he thought my poem was- AMAZING...

I was ecstatic, but too afraid to show it.

I can't believe he said it was AMAZING!

But then again, what had I REALLY expected him to say?

I hadn't expected 'amazing,' but I knew at the very least he would have said it was good.
Mostly because even if he'd HATED it, he'd never say so. That's just who Arnold was.

A beautiful, kind, compassionate and understanding person with a heart of pure gold to match his wonderfully messy and incredibly delicious smelling hair.

"Did you mean it?" He asked suddenly, a my lips curling downward into a soft frown as I turned away from him.

It was a loaded question.

Did you mean it?

It was generalized; could be taken in whichever context I wanted and with whatever answer I chose to give. He was being sneaky, that Arnold. Sneaky and incredibly passive.

The question was... how did he WANT me to answer?

"It's a poem, Arnold. And I DO believe poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader."

He scrunched his eyebrows together in mild frustration. "You REALLY aren't going to tell me?"

I thought for a moment. He was very clearly trying to make me spit out the feelings I'm sure he knew I had. It isn't like the idea isn't planted in his brain SOMEWHERE... people don't just forget confessions like the one I'd given him nine years ago.

Nine years... had it really been that long? And somehow yet, it felt like it had only happened yesterday.

"Helga?" He asked again, pleading with his eyes. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because." I said simply, giving him a playful wink, "It ruins the fun. Keeps ya guessing. I'm all about suspense and anticipation." I wiggled my brow with a smirk and sat down next to the fire that was still going fairly strong.

We listened to the crackling fire; the flames popping in a messy unpredictable rhythm. Arnold remained where he stood, his body a statue to his unresolved questions.

After a few minutes he spoke up in an unusually hoarse voice."You wanted to come here." It was a statement; a fact he was sure of.

I stayed silent where I sat, my eyes dancing with the flames.

"Even before the mudslide. You wanted to... because of me."

His voice faltered on his appropriate pronoun. He was sure... or was he?

"You shouldn't have to do it alone." I said just louder than a whisper.

"I didn't expect anyone to come help me. It was my own thing...I never asked you to follow me-"

"You didn't have to." I turned to look at him, small tears in my eyes. I hoped he didn't see them as I'm sure they glimmered from the light of the fire I'd been blindly staring at. "But you didn't even try." My words were spiteful drenched in weakness and insecurity.

"So I was supposed to ask you? You who have laughed at me and called me names my whole life? I thought you hated me!" His voice was louder; defensive.

"NO, Arnold." I stood up angrily, my feet digging into the soft Earth underneath me. "No you didn't. I KNOW you didn't and you can't tell me OR yourself otherwise. You KNOW I don't HATE you."

"Why? Because when you were nine you thought you loved me? You were NINE, Helga. You didn't know what LOVE is, NOBODY did at our age!"

My muscles clenched at his words, each one piercing me like tiny pins under my skin. I tightened my fists into balls at my side.

"I DID. I knew since age THREE, Arnold. I knew the MOMENT I set EYES on your stupid football-head what love was!"

Dammit...I thought once the words had tainted the air between Arnold and I...I just did it again, didn't I?

"And WHAT was it? If you were so sure, ARE so sure, then WHAT IS IT?" He was yelling now, not with anger but with determination.

Determination to get some answers, even if they were just about us and our silly little teeter-totter-of-a-relationship.

"LOVE is..." My voice trailed off in distant thought as I tried to HELP him understand rather than expect him to.

Angela'd told me that.

"Love is," I repeated with sincerity "everything I didn't have in my life until I met you. You and your dumb umbrella of hope."

He softened, his body relaxing as if my words had soothed his rigid muscles and extinguished the flames of the fire burning within him.

His mouth opened as if to say something but had no words to explain what it was he wanted to say. Instead, his eyes searched mine before he spoke again. "My umbrella?" He settled on, a phony tone of confusion in his voice.

"No use trying to explain it to you, Arnoldo. If you don't remember... well that's all the answer I need. So thanks, I guess."

I returned to my spot on the ground and reached out to warm my hands against the now-glowing embers of the fire.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Arnold turn around in defeat and make his way back to the shack. Right before he crawled inside, he turned around and looked back at me where I stayed seated defiantly.

"There was once a time in my life when spending an hour with you alone was worse than any death sentence," he said softly, just loud enough for me to hear.

I turned my head to look at him as he spoke, his words deliberate. "But it's not like that now." He shook his head with his eyes softly shut in concentration at his words, "Now... Now its like I crave being around you. I LIKE when we talk and when you call me those names I used to hate so much. The thing is... I ALWAYS knew you liked me, at least in SOME way and maybe I always knew I liked you too but..."

His voice trailed off, leading him in another direction. "God! I wasted so much TIME trying to understand you and figure you out. I wanted to get inside your head and see why you did all those things you did and why you never let up. I wanted answers to all my naive questions... But I realize now that it never really mattered because I HAVE my answer and I STILL can't stop thinking about you. You're... burned in my brain and I can't get you to leave me alone, even in my own thoughts."

We stared at each other, the fire soon burning itself out to leave the two of us in complete darkness; our eyes still locked despite the fact we couldn't see the other in the thick jungle night.

"Then just get rid of me." I snarked back, my tone harsh.

"I don't want to." He said very matter-of-factly. I snapped my head back to looking at him as he remained posed to crawl into the shack. "I like having you there. I like having you HERE."

I scoffed despite my obvious interest in what he was saying. "I'm sure."

"Fine. Don't believe me. One of these days I'm going to get tired of waiting around for you to decide to be that girl I held the umbrella for all those years ago." My eyes shot wide open at his admission to that memory I'd held onto my entire life. "What happened to her?" He asked before turning around to disappear into the tiny shack; leaving me and my thoughts to replay everything that had just occurred by the now-diminished fire.

Arnold's words replayed in a frenzy inside my head. Here we were with my love on the table and his own confession out for me to receive and I STILL couldn't bring myself to give him the attention, love and support I'd always wanted to give. I sat stubbornly in the night that surrounded me like a blanket made of overwhelming emptiness and stitched with regret.

What was there to do now that Arnold knew it all? What NOW? I thought to myself while laying down to rest on the cold ground that held no support for me or my back and neck.

All my life I'd imagined how it would be once I admitted everything to Arnold once and for all without taking anything back.

I just never imagined it would be like this.

Sorry for the abrupt ending, but I think it fits :) Plus, like Helga, I'm all about the suspense and anticipation ;)

Stick around, this may have been pretty fluffy, but have no fear! The action will pick up again soon enough! :)

Let me know how I'm doing and REVIEW!

xoxo

Polkahotness