Warning: This chapter is perhaps the weirdest and most bizarre thing I have ever written. If that does not deter you, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Vikal looked around the courtroom, people were giving her death glares and shouting certain obscenities at her. Overall, the atmosphere was not welcoming. Judge Zarbuto looked down at her with a face that seemed like he was planning on giving her the worst sentence possible.

An old man with a suit stepped into the room, he was wearing a fancy, weird, shakespearean suit. He raised his hand. "I am Prosecutor Reginald, prepare yourself, vile creature!"

Prosecutor Reginald paced back and forth around the courtroom. "Vile creature, you have been charged with-"

"My name is Vikal." Vikal interrupted.

Reginald made a sour face. "I don't give a soggy biscuit what your name is, you little she devil! All I care is that-"

Vikal shrugged. "I figured people that pride themselves so much on being beautiful would have a little more class than that. But it's fine, the more you act like this, the less I regret what I've done."

Vikal's response was followed by several people watching gasping in awe of her sass towards Reginald.

Reginald's face soured up even more. "Fine then, VIKAL." He made sure to emphasize her name with as much of a loathing tone as possible. "You have been charged with-"

Vikal looked to her left and noticed something. "Is that a camera? Are you broadcasting this?"

"Yep." Zarbuto answered. "Judge Zarbuto is the number three most watched show in all of the universe, just behind Cooking With Jimeze and the anime Yoyo's Absurd Journey."

"If you would let me finish!" Reginald yelled. "Vikal, you have been charged with the murder of many disciples of Heles! Do you have defense to make?"

"Now hold on." Vikal said.

Reginald bit his lip. "What now?"

"Where's my defense attorney? I get to have a lawyer, don't I?" Vikal responded.

"Did you hire one?" Reginald asked. "No, you did not, therefore-"

"Many things wrong with that." Vikal snapped. "One: I was unconscious and therefore could not hire one even if I wanted to. Secondly: Public defenders are a thing you know."

"We don't give public defenders to scum like you!" Reginald yelled.

"That's against the law!" Vikal shouted back.

"I am the law!" Reginald yelled back.

"No you are not!" Zarbuto yelled. "I am!" He swung his gavel down. "For trying to declare yourself judge, you are hereby sentenced to execution by firing squad, Reginald!"

A group of large men burst into the courtroom and grabbed Reginald and began to drag him out. Reginald tried to grab onto the floor but was unable to, his fingernails scraping against it.

"Have mercy, I beg you!" Reginald screamed before being completely dragged out of the room.

Vikal watched with her jaw dropped open. "I did not expect this place to be hardcore…"

The door opened again and a man who looked almost identical to Reginald, except with a mustache and wearing swimmer goggles this time, entered the room. He bowed. "I am prosecutor Cornelius."

Zarbuto looked down at Vikal. "So, what's this about a public defender?"

"In the case of a defendant being unable to afford legal assistance, I am allowed to have a public defender represent me." Vikal told Zarbuto. "And I was unable to get legal assistance."

"Very well then…" Zarbuto rubbed his chin. He looked out over the crowd. "Is there anyone here who would like to represent Miss Vikal in this trial here?"

Vikal's jaw dropped. "...What...?"

Zarbuto raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"You don't have any qualified person at your agency or whatever to represent me?" Vikal asked. "You're just going to have some random person defend me?"

"To be fair, I didn't know public defenders were a thing until recently." Zarbuto said. "And I'm sure there is someone who is good enough to defend you here."

Vikal shook her head. "The odds of someone being here that is actually qualified in the field of law are slim to none, you should probably just-"

"OBJECTION!" At that moment, a member of the audience jumped out of his seat and did a flip, landing right in front of Vikal.

Zarbuto looked at the man who had just jumped in. "And you are?"

The man did a dramatic finger point to Zarbuto. "I am Whoenix Pright, attorney at law! I graduated law school with unrivalled skill in the field!"

Vikal breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm saved."

The lawyer spread out his arms. "And in exchange for proving this young maiden's innocence. I only ask for one thing in return…"

Vikal raised an eyebrow. "And what is that?"

The lawyer looked over at Vikal. "Will you be my waifu?"

Vikal slammed her head down at the desk she was sitting at. "I'm doomed."

"Interesting." Zarbuto said. "Just how good are you at law?"

The lawyer pointed his finger at Zarbuto. "How good am I? HOW GOOD AM I? I know what you did on the night of the fifth! That's how good I am!"

Zarbuto paled. "He knows too much!" He swung his gavel down. "Get him out of here!"

The same group of large men from before burst into the room and grabbed the lawyer, before dragging him out of the room like they did to Reginald before him.

"Well, Vikal." Zarbuto said. "It looks like you'll have to defend yourself."

"Oh come on!" Vikal said. "What kind of half assed court system have you people set up here?"

"We have set up a quick, efficient one." Zarbuto said. "On other planets, it can take months or even years before you appear in court. Here, it only takes a matter of minutes."

"This is stupid!" Vikal yelled. "I'm guilty from the moment I come into the courtroom, I have no way to defend myself!"

"So, you're admitting guilt!?" Zarbuto dramatically leaned in.

"No! No I am not!" Vikal yelled. "That was a general expression, it was not me admitting guilt you idiotic mustachioed man!"

"How come you know so much about courts?" Zarbuto asked. "You keep questioning my authority over you."

"That's none of your business!" Vikal yelled back.

"I'm pretty sure it is my business!" Zarbuto yelled. "Answer me!"

"You can't handle the truth!" Vikal yelled back.

Zarbuto swung his gavel down. "Overruled! Answer me now, or I will determine you guilty and hand you your sentence!"

"What happened to the jury?" Vikal asked.

"There is no jury!" Zarbuto declared. "There is only me!"

"That's not how courts work!" Vikal yelled back.

"And there you go again!" Zarbuto was exasperated by this point. "Where did your knowledge on the law come from?"

"It's common knowledge!" Vikal screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Prove that it is common knowledge!" Zarbuto roared.

"Are you kidding me?" Vikal's eye was twitching in frustration. "How were you approved to be a judge?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to!" Zarbuto yelled.

"This is kangaroo court!" Vikal yelled.

"What's a kangaroo!?" Zarbuto yelled.

"Are you serious!?" Vikal screamed.

"I am serious!" Zarbuto yelled. "If anyone is not being serious, it's you!"

"I want to be serious, but this court is the most ridiculous thing I have ever partaken in!" Vikal shouted louder than she ever had before.

"How dare you insult this fine establishment!" Zarbuto yelled. He raised his gavel up in the air. "I hereby declare you-"

Just then the door to the courtroom was kicked open. Everyone turned their heads.

A deafening roar was heard. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?"

Sanka was marching into the room, seething. "I tell you people to people to put her in prison and give her good treatment so she will have a good opinion of us when I make my offer to her. And what do I get? Some unnecessary court case that wants to burn her at the stake!"

Zarbuto raised his hand. "We weren't going to burn her at the stake. We were going to feed her to-"

Sanka quickly grabbed a person from the crowd and threw him at Zarbuto, knocking the knight off of his podium. "I don't care what you planned on doing! You ruined my plans for her!"

Vikal looked over at Sanka. "W-What is it you're going to do to me?"

Sanka looked at Vikal. "I am going to teach you the ways of love. What it's really all about. Show you that it's not all bad."

Vikal sneered. "And why would I want to do that?"

Sanka shrugged. "If you won't come with me, I'll just leave you here in this courtroom."

Not wanting to deal with the madness of this courtroom any longer, Vikal begrudgingly went with Sanka.

I hope you enjoyed that chapter. The next one will be more serious than the absurdity of this one.

As always, constructive criticism is appreciated.