"So… it looks like we're the only ones here," April stated slowly, looking around curiously.
Tali sighed, "Dammit, these teleporters could lead to anywhere!" She exclaimed before turning to Simmons, "Do you think we can contact the others? Or did the teleporter mess that up too?"
"Uh… I don't… I mean… I-I'll check!" He hurried away then, checking his radio.
Tali raised a brow and crossed her arms, looking at April, "What's his problem?"
"Not good at talking with girls," April bent down and played with some wires in one of the teleporters, "He'll get used to you in time."
"Sarge! This is Simmons 2.0, do you read me? Apparently your plan to chase Lopez and Doc has failed miserably! Tali, April and I appear to be stuck in some kind of nexus of teleporters which could take us anywhere in the universe… or it's the janitor's closet, the hell I don't fuckin' know, Sarge, are you there, Sarge!"
April looked up at Tali, looking troubled, "I'm guessing your theory about the teleporters screwing everything up would be correct."
"2.0? The hell does that mean?" Tali questioned.
"Uh… Simmons is half-cyborg…" April admitted sheepishly, wires sparking at her fingers.
"…Okay."
"Wha– you're fine with that? Right off the bat, okay?" April stood fast, looking rather surprised.
"Listen April, I've been in that fucking canyon for far too long, and I've had to stand by and watch the idiots without any interaction for the majority of it," Tali stated frankly, "I'm pretty much immune to this shit now."
Simmons returned a moment later, crouching down to look at the work April had done on the teleporter, "Alright, let's see what I can do here. If I wire this thing into that… and maybe I can signal boost on that thing there… I might just maybe be able to get that to work… Woah!"
Simmons jumped up and was stabilized by the two women as Sarge's voice came in through the teleporter.
"Woah, Caboose keep them away from me! Get that one… and that one… no no, the one with the limp! Caboose!"
"Yup, that's Sarge alright," April chuckled, "Ah, that crazy old bastard."
"I noticed you're swearing more often, April. Are we rubbing off on you?" Tali asked with a small grin.
"I think I can safely say that anyone hangin out in that canyon will come out with a mouth so dirty a whole bar of soap couldn't clean it," April replied.
"Ugh, God! Don't ever say that again. Way too close to Donut territory," Simmons shook his head.
"I don't want to kill!… but I don't want to die either!"
"Caboose, Sarge, can you hear me?" Simmons yelled into the teleporter.
"Yes, I heard you Sergeant," Caboose turned around and looked at Sarge.
"I didn't say anything, numbnuts!"
"Damn… they can't see us. Alright, let's see…" Simmons mumbled, crouching back down to look at the wiring.
"So, wait. If Sarge and Caboose are the only two there, that means Grif and Church could be anywhere else in the galaxy!" April exclaimed, looking around the nexus of teleporters.
"Well… shit," Tali sighed, biting her lip in realization, "Let's just hope we get lucky like we did with this one."
"What the hell is wrong with your teammate?" Simmons asked as he watched Caboose.
"O'Malley taught me how to be mean. I just have to concentrate on bad things… like milk! No…wait, red bull!"
"Son, I think you've really lost it. O'Malley's not in your head anymore, he's infected the Doc!"
"No. I can feel him. I just need to get angry… and say mean things! Like…uh… your brain is a mountain of hatred!"
"Hmm…" Tali thought, smirking slowly, "I think I can help Michael unleash his inner O'Malley…"
April looked at Tali perplexedly, "How?"
"Catch."
"Woah!" April caught Tali's falling body in surprise, before realizing what she was doing, "Oh, you're a sneaky one!"
"I never thought I would reach the moment in my life that I would miss Grif, but here it is," She could hear Sarge moan sadly.
Tali kept the armor link on as she talked to Caboose in her mind, and April listened in.
:Hey Michael. Having a problem?:
:It would seem that I'm trying to get angry. Is there a way you can help with that?: Caboose's mental image of himself spoke.
:Oh, I can help,: Tali replied with confidence.
She watched as small flickers of green electricity jolted around Caboose's armor, and his voice slowly distorted to be one similar to O'Malley. He roared as he jumped off the ledge, landing with a resounding and ominous thud.
Tali suddenly jolted back to life in her arms and stood again, gasping in a breath, "Did it work?"
"My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I. Hate. Babies!"
April gaped at the sight, "I'm gonna go with yes on that one."
And then… Caboose went crazy.
Smacking the zealots in the head, firing his pistol with deadly accuracy, and then firing a sniper rifle (where did he get that thing?) repeatedly at close range, all the while Simmons contacted Sarge and started kissing his ass immediately.
Some things just don't change.
"I will eat your unhappiness!"
"What does that even mean? What the hell did you do to make him that crazy? What the fuck is going on?" Simmons would probably be pulling at his hair if his helmet was off at this point.
"Just fix the damn teleporter!" Tali ordered.
"Oh, shit! Just give me a few more seconds over here Sarge!" Simmons called to his leader.
"We don't have a few more seconds!"
"Stop pressuring me! I rely on you for love and support!" Simmons squeaked, drawing odd looks from the two women accompanying him.
"Your toast has been burned, and no amount of scraping will remove the black dots!"
"Ah, shut up Caboose."
"Okay, hurry, come through now!" Simmons suddenly yelled, standing back.
Two figures, one red and one blue, practically flew out of the teleporter, Sarge stumbling and falling to the ground and Caboose running straight into Tali, knocking them both to the ground.
"You shall never receive the sprinkles for your ice cream!" Caboose continued ranting in his O'Malley voice.
Tali laughed, "Hey sweetie! How're you feeling?"
Caboose seemed to shake himself out of his evil mode, and suddenly chirped, "Miss Tali! You are okay!" And hugged her tightly.
"Simmons, you get an F in efficiency!" Sarge barked, before adding, "But you get an A+ in dramatic timing!"
"Aw… he's so sweet!" April cooed as Caboose set Tali back on her own feet, turning to wave to April.
"Hello June!" He greeted, mistaking her name.
"Thank you sir," Simmons gushed to his leader, "I always felt like presentation is what matters most."
"Wait… what happened?" Caboose asked Sarge, "The last thing I remember was a very mean kitten, and then we were in this janitor's closet, and my throat hurts… a lot."
"Aw, don't worry sweetie," April adopted Tali's name for Caboose, "We'll find you something to help with that."
"What was that place, Sarge?" Simmons questioned.
"Simmons… I have absolutely no idea," Sarge stated bluntly, not wanting to revisit it.
An insistent beeping was suddenly heard from Tali and April's helmets, causing them both to yelp at the loud noise. They quickly tapped the sides of their helmets and both read the message that was sent to them. And by the loud beeping, they both knew it was important.
Warning: ASSASSINATION CONTRACT
From: Agent Texas
Guys, we got a problem! Wyoming is back, and he's out to kill Tucker after Vic's slip up.
:…oh SHIT!: Both Tali and April exclaimed.
"What was that noise?" Simmons asked.
The girls turned to him in unison, alarm in their posture, and uttered urgently at the same exact time, "We have to get back to Blood Gulch!"
…
…
…
"Are you sure this is it?" Tali asked April, hands on her hips as she stared at the teleporter in front of them.
"Yeah. You see, Sarge put a listening device in the robot that got left behind at Blood Gulch. The signal for it originates in this area," April nodded.
"Can I push the button to make it go? Please?" Caboose asked Sarge, seeing the device in his hand.
Sarge looked down at the remote control device and back at Caboose, who had his hands clasped together and bouncing in place, and he sighed, "Okay, Caboose. But just this once."
"Yay!" Caboose cheered, taking the control from his hands.
"Hehehe. What a little raskol," Sarge stated fondly.
:Aw… Caboose is growing on him!: April cooed through the link.
:Okay, that's kinda cute, I'll admit: Tali agreed.
"I pushed the button!" Caboose stated happily to Simmons.
Simmons, however, was not amused, and growled lowly, "Stay away from him. He's mine!"
"Man, I hate this! This sucks!"
"It's Church!" Caboose gasped in surprise.
"I just wanna lay around and do nothing."
"I think it's Grif!" Sarge thought aloud.
"Right after I take this nice, warm, bubble bath."
Simmons, Sarge and April all said at once, "Donut."
"Lemme see if I can lock onto that signal Sarge… okay got it! Go ahead," Simmons called, messing with some of the wires.
"Come in Donut! Come in. Do you read me?" Sarge said into the radio.
"Sarge! You gotta help me, the chick in black armor's back!"
"Tex?" Tali asked herself, before tuning into the link.
:Tex? Are you there? Can you hear me?:
:Loud and clear Tali. Where are you?:
:We're trying to get back to you, but it's hard to figure out which teleporter goes where. Listen, is Tucker there?:
:Yeah. I'm back up on the surface and I'm keeping an eye out for Wyoming. I'm protecting him as a favor.:
:Okay, good. Now listen, tell Tucker that once the teleporter is open to go in. We still haven't found Church or Grif yet in this damn place.:
:Hey Tex!: April tuned into the link.
:April? Is that you?: Tex questioned with a warmth in her tone. Tali smiled at that; April was always the sweet one in Freelancer, and she always received all the love.
:Yeah, it's me! I've been hoping to talk to you for a while.:
:Guys, let's focus here: Tali brought them back to the topic at hand, :Look, just keep Tucker inside the base while you're in Blood Gulch. Wyoming tends to do things from afar, remember?:
:Will do Tali. I'll make sure nothing happens to your man.: Tex replied cheekily.
:TEX!:
:Oh, you're in on it too, Tex?: April asked to her surprise.
:In on what?… dammit guys!: Tali glared at April, who raised her hands placatingly.
When the girls tuned back into the conversation, Caboose was holding the remote control, his finger hovering above the second button that was coated red.
"Yeah! More button pushing!" He cheered.
"Uh-oh…" April mumbled.
"Caboose, don't touch that!" Simmons warned.
"What's going on?" Tali asked in confusion, looking at the three Reds.
"This is the button to find Church!" Caboose yelled as he pressed the button, alarms suddenly sounding around the room.
"Did he just do what I think he did?" Simmons asked himself in horror.
"Church is going to be so happy with me!"
"Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on?!" Tali suddenly yelled over the alarms.
Sarge and Simmons looked sheepish while April informed her hesitantly, "Caboose just activated the 10-megaton bomb that's in Church's gut."
Tali looked wide eyed at the guilty Sergeant, before screeching.
"FUCK MY LIFE!"
…
…
…
Fucking Sidewinder.
Church and Grif were at Sidewinder and Church was literally a ticking time bomb and they had no way of getting to him quickly.
And Tucker wouldn't go through the fucking teleporter!
"I'm not going through that thing… I'm serious!"
"I never knew that the Phillips screwdriver was this one! Do ya think it was named after a guy named Phillip? That guy Phillip must've had a fucked up shaped head!" Donut mused, not helping Tucker's confidence.
"Yeah, screw this, I'm walking."
"Hey Tex?" Tali radioed, "If Tucker doesn't go into the teleporter, I'm giving you permission to kick him into it."
"Fuck you, Tali!"
"This should be fun," Tex mused.
"Don't worry, Grif and Church!" Sarge exclaimed, hefting his shotgun up on his shoulder, "Here comes the Cavalry!"
He let out a battle cry as he ran through the teleporter, engulfed by the green light only to…Hop out of another teleporter behind them and let out a surprised 'Oh' when he turned. Okay then Sarge.
"Uh, sir? The teleporter I reprogrammed is over there," Simmons pointed to the wall opposite of them.
Tali rolled her eyes, "Enough chit chat, let's get moving!" And ran for the correct teleporter, jumping through with April following close after.
They were transported to a simple grey walled room with an open passageway to the outside, the wind blowing snow in and the floor dusted over with a white coat.
"Holy FUCK it is freezing!" Tali howled, bouncing on her toes to keep moving.
"Well, it is an ice planet," April shrugged, teeth chattering as she did so.
"Okay, here come the others," Simmons told them all as he turned to look to the teleporter.
Tex emerged first, assault rifle up and ready, and turned to April and Tali, "Stay with Tucker, make sure Wyoming doesn't get the jump on him!"
"What about you?" April asked as Tex ran for the outside.
"I'm gonna try and kill the British son of a bitch," She growled dangerously.
"Be sure to send my regards," Tali commented, smirking under her helmet.
"Will do," She replied, sprinting out into the cold air.
Tucker was the last to stumble out of the teleporter, covered in soot and coughing.
"Ow, crap!…seriously, just me?" Tucker questioned angrily, trying to wipe off the black soot to no avail.
"Tucker! I am so glad to see you!" Caboose said earnestly while he followed after Tucker, "Now let me help you clean your armor off by rubbing you all over."
"Oh, let me help!" Donut ran after them.
"Absolutely Admiral Buttercrust!" Caboose replied, beckoning him to move faster with a wave of his hand.
April and Tali shared a look before following cautiously, April holding her plasma rifle and Tali two submachine guns. While Donut and Caboose started cleaning Tucker's armor, Tucker looked at them questioningly as they tried to seem nonchalant.
"What are you guys doing?" He questioned, watching as they leant on the wall made of ice.
"Trying to look inconspicuous," April replied, not looking at him.
"Why?"
"Because there's a hit on you, dumbass!" Tali hissed harshly, "How you managed that, I have no fucking clue, but congrats."
"I can't say– OW! The fuck is that noise?!" Tucker jolted, his armor only half clean.
April and Tali shared an uneasy look, toggling the message sent on their helmets, and April commented, "Man, if you got another hit man on you Tucker, you must be pretty popular."
"Well, I am popular with the ladies," Tucker threw a suggestive look her way, while Tali warned.
"Careful Tucker. You're talking to my little sister," She said casually, and he promptly shut up.
"She's just jealous," April leaned towards him and whispered so Tali couldn't hear.
Warning: PROXIMITY ALERT
Codename: Agent California
Threat Level: Yellow
Side note: California should be considered a hostile and should be shot on sight
"The universe hates me," Tali sighed, slumping visibly.
"Remind me what California did? It was something to do with Libby, right?" April questioned, having read the message as well.
"Did Libby ever mention to you that a guy once tried to… uhm… kidnap her and and kill York?"
"…Yeah."
"That's the guy."
"Oh… well shit," April was at a loss for words. "And here all this time I was just thinking he was just a perv."
"Uh, confused here!" Tucker raised his hand.
"You know the experimental project that Tex was in?" Tali asked before April butted in.
"Tali and I, as well as our other two sisters, were in it as well, and California would always harass Libby," April explained.
"Why'd he do that?" Tucker questioned them both.
"Who knows? He just walked up to her one day and said she had a 'pretty face', and stalked her ever since," Tali shrugged before getting back on topic, "Anyway, he was booted out of the project, but he escaped before he could have his equipment taken away."
"And all agents were given proximity alerts to his armor so they might have the chance of taking him out, but he basically dropped off the grid," April stressed, "If he turned up now…"
"Then that means he's looking for Libby… or someone associated with Libby," Tucker puzzled out for himself.
"Exactly," Tali nodded in confirmation.
"Not to mention his armor ability…" April trailed off.
"Armor ability?" Tucker questioned, "Is that like the camo thing Tex has?"
"Yeah, all armor has an ability pre-equipped, but either a V.I. or A.I. has to control it for it to work properly," Tali explained, "California's ability is that he has what we call 'Promethean Vision.' He can see through walls and detect heat signatures from afar–"
"Making tracking people easy for him," April finished.
Tucker stared for a long moment, before saying, "You know, I just got the feeling that you're gonna have a lot more friends than this 'California' guy messing with us."
"With our luck? Of course," Tali said glumly, not noticing a ways away that a figure in green and yellow was watching them curiously.
…
…
…
"MuahaHAHAHAHA! You fools have fallen right into my hands! Only now do you realize the folly of your follies, hahaha! Prepare for oblivion, for where there is no preparation!"
O'Malley was standing atop a snow ridge with Lopez by his side, and Tali saw no way of getting up there easily. Not that she would be able to attempt it anyway, considering that O'Malley probably had a rocket launcher hidden up there somewhere. It was his favorite weapon, if she remembered correctly.
"O'Malley!" Simmons stood at the front of the group, "The Reds and Blues are working together now! You can't hope to beat us!"
Donut and Caboose were to April's right with pistols drawn, April herself was holding her plasma rifle in one hand and plasma pistol in the other, Tucker was behind Tali with an assault rifle, Sarge was to her right with his beloved shotgun, and lastly, Tali was kneeling with her two submachine guns trained on the purple figure.
"You fools! My metallic friend is the only ally I need!" O'Malley exclaimed, turning slightly to look at the robot, "Lopez, activate weather control routines!"
Lopez replied with an affirmative, electricity running along his form before holographic shapes began to circle him, but something was amiss in both Tali and April's minds.
"Hold on a second, you're going to conquer the universe by using the weather?" April questioned in disbelief.
"But of course! It's ingenious, MUAHAHAHA!" O'Malley cackled.
"I'll tell you what it is; fucking stupid!" Tali shouted, angering O'Malley (big surprise there).
"Oh, shut up! You sound just like Tex!"
"No really? How the hell are you gonna do that? Space doesn't have weather moron!" Tali spit, "Man, if you're gonna be an evil villain Meggy, at least be a competent one!"
"DO NOT. CALL ME. MEGGY!" O'Malley screeched, while the other soldiers around her sniggered, even Lopez!
"What's going on?" Church's voice suddenly sounded from behind them all, and they all turned in surprise.
"Do you want the long version or the short version?" Sarge asked, before explaining, "Basically you have a 50-megaton bomb in your gut–"
"10-megaton sir!" Simmons corrected.
"–and Lopez is about to kill us all!"
"With the power of Mother Nature apparently," Tali sighed, cocking her submachine guns.
"That doesn't make any sense, what's the long version?" Church asked in hopes of a clearer explanation.
What he got was even shorter, "That was the long version. In short, we're boned!" Tucker interjected.
Tali made a noise of indignation, "Tucker, there are some things that I will not stand for. One of them happens to be being defeated by some destabilizing A.I. that has a idiotic laugh and a power fetish."
Grif ran up to April and Simmons then, stopping when Simmons asked if he was alright.
"I've done hard time, you two. I'm not the man you used to know," Grif said gravely.
"Hard time? But… we were separated for like, five hours," April estimated, looking at the orange soldier in confusion.
"Time moves slower on the inside, April. It seemed like seven or eight hours to me!"
A rocket suddenly zoomed past them, exploding a mere ten feet from where the group was standing, and they all turned to see O'Malley with a rocket launcher in hand.
"You foolish fools! You'll never defeat me, oblivion is at hand!" He proclaimed.
Everyone scattered for cover, Grif and Sarge behind a rock and Simmons behind a tree, Tucker, Caboose and Donut running off to the left somewhere, but April was thrown violently to the side as someone slammed into Tali's side, flinging them away from the Reds and Blues.
"What the fuck?!" Tali screeched, slamming both her palms into the chestpiece of her attacker and leaping backward, "Who the hell...are…"
Oh...fuck...OH FUCK.
"California…"
The blue-green armor with mustard yellow accents gave away who the agent was immediately, and if that wasn't enough, California's old railgun was clipped to his back. Bits of ice were frozen over the chestplate, but she was sad to say that it wouldn't hinder his movement as there wasn't any ice on the under suit he wore. Although California had his helmet on, she knew that a smug smile was hiding behind the orange tinted visor, and he tilted his chin up as he greeted her casually.
"Agent Taurus. It has been far too long," California drawled in his gravelly tone, and Tali scowled as soon as the hated codename reached her ears, "Also, it's nice to see little Aries finally got herself a body. I always wondered what she would look like as a human."
:Tali! Are you okay? I'm drawing Omega's fire from the Reds but maybe I can get to you after I deal with the little-!:
:Stay away April. This is my fight:
"What do you want?" She addressed him calmly, but inside she was seething, the familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach as her blood began to simmer. She tried to calm herself, but the instinct to attack was too strong, and the arrival of a part of her past only magnified this, bringing her back to a time where she wouldn't have hesitated, wouldn't have bothered calculating.
"You know what I want," California stepped forward, hand outstretched and palm open, "I will leave if you do one thing, and none of your sim troopers will be hurt."
Her hand covered the compartment on her forearm. She backed up a few steps as he stepped forward, grabbing her submachine guns and pointing them at the agent.
"Why do you assume I have her?"
California chuckled, "You were her guard dog, Taurus. Or, at least you tried your best to be. And we both know that despite your wild side, you follow orders when you're given them. Like a good little soldier, right?"
Tali grit her teeth, "You're not getting her."
"Very well. Omicron?" He prompted, and the A.I. in question popped up on his shoulder.
"Initiated," The blue and gold colored A.I. replied monotonically, and...did the ground underneath her just beep?
"Fuck," She stated simply as something clicked, and the ice underneath her shattered, the explosion propelling her into the air.
Lightning was flashing around her and dark clouds were forming overhead, giving the ice planet an ominous look. She gritted her teeth and twisted in the air, using her thruster pack to boost away from where she saw California advancing.
She landed hard on her feet, stumbling slightly before regaining her footing and swung around, blocking a punch from California. He swung his railgun around like a club, and Tali jumped up before firing her submachine guns at him and rocketing away with her thruster pack.
"Why do you want her so badly?" Tali growled as she skid across the ice, cartwheeling out of the way of a shot from the railgun.
"Who wouldn't want the original of the Synthesis A.I.?" California retorted, "She's the best A.I. the Director created, save for Alpha, but we both know he's a bit broken right now."
Tali dashed forward and slugged him in the visor for that comment, snarling, "Don't talk about my brother like that, asswipe!"
"You still think of him as that? That's cute."
"Fuck off!"
"I wonder if he still has the nightmares? Or, actually, does he still think Agent Texas is his little girlfriend? Now that would be just pathetic."
"You don't know anything about him!" Tali cried, her fighting style becoming more reckless, more daring. She didn't care though. Only her small circle of friends know what happens when her anger goes to her head…
"It would be even more pathetic if you had the nightmares?...and by that reaction, I'd say you do," California noted how her frame became rigid and unmoving, her fist clenched and her body in mid-lunge. California leaned back, his fighting stance gone in replacement of a cocky one, "Poor Taurus. The poor little hybrid that is destined to fail because her uncontrollable rage got to her head."
"I can control it."
"Hm. Doesn't look like you're doing a very good job of controlling it right now."
"That's because I don't want to!"
At that she let go and lurched forward, letting loose a flurry of attacks that she knew California wouldn't have a chance to counter. She hit hard and fast, putting her entire weight into her kicks and punches as she forced California back. He went to try and kick low, but she completely ignored it as she rammed her fist into his gut, not giving him a chance recover as she hit both her palms on his chestplate and sent him flying back into an ice block.
Tali let herself smirk as she eased out of her combat stance and began slowly make her way towards him. In a way, she was glad it was California that showed up, and not Hampshire. She could handle California easy, since he wasn't exactly the most coordinated fighter, and she knew his style. New Hampshire however was just...psychotic and unpredictable. And to top it off, he was half synthetic thanks to Synthesis.
"Still sloppy I see," Tali remarked, examining her glove. She didn't notice what California had behind his back until too late.
California jumped up and hurled a sharp ice shard toward her, and Tali's eyes widened. She tried to dodge to the left, but the shard was able to penetrate the exposed part of her right shoulder, and she groaned in pain. She stumbled, vision unfocusing for a second before suddenly everything was crystal clear again, brighter than before as her synthetic side kicked in. California was fast approaching, ready to knock her down, and she reached for the black cylindrical tube on her left hip.
The green lights blinked on as it recognized that someone was now holding it, and pure green solidified light shot from the handle, forming a katana. Tali grit her teeth as she sliced the katana across her body, the light sword cutting at his chestplate before he jumped back. He threw a grenade blindly before making a hasty retreat, condensed blue energy speeding towards him from the side.
"Get away from my sister, you cockbite!" April yelled before catching sight of Tali staring at her, and she flicked her hand up in a wave, rushing over and taking her by the arm, "Come on Tali, I can't leave Omega unoccupied forever!"
"I told you that that was my fight," Tali said with stubbornness, and April had the time to give her a flat look.
"You don't have to do everything yourself."
April then turned her attention to shooting at the purple armored pacifist, and a sudden squawk of incredulity came from behind one of the snow powdered rocks.
"Seriously! Your gun shoots blue, how are you not blue?!"
"Shut up Grif, my blue gun is saving your ass right now!" April shrieked back, more fearful than angry.
O'Malley turned and fired at the two approaching woman, and Tali grabbed hold of April and engaged her thruster pack again to dodge to the side, the rocket missing them by inches.
"Fucking quit it!" Tali yelled, her and April hiding behind a block of ice.
"Not so fast, O'Malley!" Simmons stopped O'Malley from firing his rocket at Grif and Sarge, "Maybe we can't stop you, but I know who can!"
Out of absolutely nowhere, a teleporter appeared beside him, and the zealots came rushing out.
"Hey guys, you want flag?" Simmons asked them, pointing to O'Malley, "He's the one that has it!"
The zealots turned in one fluid motion, and began chasing after O'Malley.
"Simmons, you're a fucking genius!" Tali cheered, running to meet up with Church and the others.
Lightning suddenly struck and hit Church, and he seemed to be… tickled by it? Weird.
"Hold still son! This'll just take a second," Sarge assured, opening a panel down near his… oh ewww!
"Don't you ever install anything above the waist?" Church asked incredulously.
"Oh no! That last lightning bolt fused the detonator! There's no way to turn this thing off!" Sarge cried.
"You're kidding… right?" Tali sighed, "You're not kidding. Fuck."
"What the hell happened to you?" Tucker questioned suddenly, and Tali's eyes darted to her right shoulder, the ice shard still embedded into the skin.
"I found California," She replied simply, more than alarmed once Tucker walked closer and went on examining her injury, "Tucker, in case you didn't know, there's a walking bomb in front of us."
Tucker just glared at her when she mentioned that, and turned to the conversation at hand.
"Can you defuse it manually?" Simmons questioned urgently.
"Impossible! I specifically designed it so that even I wouldn't be able to defuse it!"
"Why?" Grif asked in horror.
"In case I fell into the wrong hands, and was brainwashed to help the blues!"
"Nice thinking, sir!"
Grif turned to Simmons in exasperation, "You had to get one last ass kiss in before we die, didn't you?"
"Church," Tucker raised a rocket launcher (where the hell did he get that?!), "There's only one thing I can do."
"Ey, what the hell!?"
"There's only twenty seconds left!" Simmons cried.
"If I blow you up before the bomb goes off, there's at least a small chance the rest of us will live," Tucker reasoned.
"But the rocket will kill me!" Church retorted.
"Ten seconds!"
"You're going to die anyway when the bomb goes off!" Grif exclaimed.
"What can I tell ya, pal? Misery loves company," Church shrugged.
"Five seconds!"
Tali darted her gaze to April, who was staring right back at her. They seemed to be thinking the same thing, and as Tali leaned in and whispered, "Engage your shield at the last second," April nodded fractionally.
"Sorry, Church."
"Man, this blows, you guys suck!" Church put in one last insult.
A sniper shot rang throughout the area, it knocking the rocket launcher from Tucker's hands.
"What the hell?!… Oh dammit, Wyoming!" Tucker stomped his foot in agitation.
"Uh, guys? I hate to interrupt but… zero seconds," Simmons said glumly.
"Son of a–" Church was cut off with a boom as a wall of orange erupted from April's hands.
...
...
...
Guess who?! I managed to squeeze in some time between my workshops at the college to whip this up! It's a little shorter than my regular chapters but at least it's something! Oh, and thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I just checked today and it made me smile!
Iron-ninja: Oh my, why all the hate towards Church?! Haha, but it is funny to see him suffer because of his lack of tact when angry.
RedSparrow8749: Oh I'm glad! Thanks for sticking around!
Oh, and to any it may concern, I don't have the to input the html needed for this chapter so it won't be posted on Archive of Our Own until at the very least Saturday evening. I apologize. :(
Welp, the conference is calling to me! Gotta run, happy writing to all!
Lonessa out.