Author's Note – WARNING! This chapter is going to be mostly flashbacks. So if you're expecting something thrilling, think again. Sorry.
Disclaimer – Things I Don't Own –Anything from the Bleach verse. Things I own – The IchiRuki baby! (well, the one in this story anyway).
Chapter 11 – Hanging on the Edge
Ichigo leaned against the wall, his head buried in his hands. His entire body had gone numb. All he could do was see Rukia in his mind, lying in that bed, still, unmoving.
Dead.
No! Ichigo shook his head furiously. No, no, no! She's not dead, she's not! She can't be. She isn't dead, she's not!
It was the only thought keeping Ichigo going at that moment. It was his life-line. If he gave it up...then Rukia was really dead.
Isshin had lost no time in throwing Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu out of the room while he worked with Rukia, tried to...well, for lack of a better word, try to revive her. Karin and Yuzu had taken the baby to clean him up and make sure he was okay.
Ichigo clenched his fists angrily. He wanted to know Rukia was okay. He had to know.
"Dammit!" The fist he didn't even remember throwing slammed into the wall. He stood there for a second, breathing hard, trying to regain control of himself. He was failing. Quite badly.
"Don't leave me Rukia." he muttered under his breath. "Don't you dare fucking leave me."
-:-:-:-Flashback – Five Years Ago-:-:-:-
"This is stupid." Ichigo muttered, slipping his hand into Rukia's. "Have you everbeen through a dinner with my family? It's murder, I tell you, murder. I like you Rukia. I'd like you better if you stayed in one piece. And let me tell you, that isn't going to freaking happen if you go through this dinner. Are you suicidal or something?"
"Ichigo, I really think you're blowing it out of proportion." Rukia said patiently, squeezing his hand reassuringly.
"If you say so." Ichigo still thought it was absolute murder.
It hadn't taken long for Isshin, Yuzu, and Karin to find out Ichigo had a girlfriend. And it had taken less time for them to drive Ichigo insane enough to invite Rukia to dinner. And now, of course, he was regretting his decision.
"Hello!" Isshin descended down on the couple as soon as they walked through the house. Ichigo gave Rukia an 'it's-not-too-late-to-run' look. But Rukia simply smiled and said,
"Hello there. My name's Rukia Kuchiki."
"It's very nice to meet you." Isshin said, holding out a hand. "My name's Isshin Kurosaki, and may I just say thank you for giving my boy a social life – ow!"
He grunted in pain as Ichigo punched him in the face. Rukia turned her head away quickly, and Ichigo saw a smile spread over her face. And he softened. She had the most beautiful smile. Anything was worth seeing her smile. Beating his father senseless was just an added bonus.
"Supper-time!" Yuzu said, not paying attention to her father. She had long since learned to ignore her father and his ridiculous whining and ranting. Rukia and Ichigo exchanged glances and followed Yuzu into the kitchen.
-:-:-:-End Flashback-:-:-:-
A small hand wrapped itself around Ichigo fist, which was still pushed against the wall. He jumped a little and looked up. Yuzu was staring at him, her deep dark eyes filled with concern and fear. "Ichigo, are you okay?"
"Do you expect me to be?" Ichigo said, not bothering to worry about whether or not he hurt Yuzu's feelings. He didn't care. He only cared about one thing at that moment.
"Rukia will be okay." Yuzu said in a confident voice. "Don't worry Ichigo. Dad'll be able to help her. She'll be okay."
Ichigo wished, more than anything, he could be as confident as his sister about this fact. But he just wasn't sure. He wantedto believe she would be okay. But jeez...she hadn't been breathing. And with everything that had happened to her during the pregnancy – almost losing the baby, being stabbed by Yukio, the car accident – the chances of her dying were – as much as he hated to admit it – very, very high.
"Rukia's strong though." Yuzu said confidently. "Rukia's really strong. I know she'll be okay. I can feel it. Can't you, Ichigo?"
-:-:-:-Flashback – Five Years Ago (cont'd)-:-:-:-
"You're a strong person." Ichigo said. It was after dinner. Ichigo had pretended to walk Rukia home. Then the two came back, and Rukia snuck in Ichigo's window. Now they were upstairs talking about the dinner.
"How so?" Rukia asked interestedly, kicking her legs back and forth. She had taken up a spot on Ichigo's bed.
"You lived through dinner with those psychos." Ichigo said as if that explained everything. "I don't know how you did it, personally. I was ready to hit my dad, I mean, all those remarks he was making about grandchildren-"
"Youdid hit your dad." Rukia reminded Ichigo. And he grinned.
"Well, yeah. Wouldn't you?"
Rukia smirked. "Come on Ichigo. I told you were blowing it out of proportion. And I was right, wasn't I?"
"Maybe." Ichigo admitted. "How was I supposed to know you were right though? I don't exactly have any past examples to go on-"
That, of course, earned him a sharp kick in the shin. He had to work hard not to yell out in pain. Rukia smirked and said, "So do you think they liked me?"
"I think they want to adopt you."
Ichigo's family had taken to Rukia in a way Ichigo had never thought possible. It wasn't much of a stretch to say they wanted to adopt her. Ichigo was glad. As much as his family drove him crazy sometimes, they meant a lot to him, and he wanted them to like Rukia. He cared about her a lot, and he wanted to know that his family cared too.
"Hey Rukia."
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
A small smile twitched at Rukia's lips. "I love you too."
-:-:-:-End Flashback-:-:-:-
"She'll be okay." Yuzu repeated. "Ichigo?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to come in and see the baby?" Ichigo looked around at his sister in surprise. "Please come see the baby."
Ichigo didn't want to see the baby. He could have cared less, really. But he followed Yuzu into the small room anyway.
The baby was asleep in a small, plastic hospital crib. He was small, very small. Already he had a head of wispy black hair. His tiny fists were clenched loosely on to the blanket Yuzu and Karin had wrapped him in. Ichigo stared at the boy. He was so young, so small, so cute. He was Ichigo's son. And for some reason...
Ichigo couldn't stand the sight of him.
It wasn't that Ichigo suddenly couldn't stand the idea of being a father. It wasn't that he suddenly hated the idea of a baby. No. It was the idea of thinking of what this baby might have suddenly cost him and Rukia.
-:-:-:-Flashback – Two Years Ago-:-:-:-
"Ichigo, sh!" Rukia giggled as Ichigo slammed the door. "Do you want your father and sisters to hear you?"
"Who cares?" Ichigo muttered, pulling her towards him and kissing her. It was after graduation. Ichigo's father had decided to throw a graduation party. At the moment everyone was downstairs laughing and celebrating the fact that they had finally gotten out of high school. But Ichigo and Rukia had left the festivities early.
"Ichi..." Rukia muttered against Ichigo's lips. Ichigo shushed her and they continued kissing. The kiss deepened. Ichigo soon found his hand creeping along Rukia's dress, trying to find a place to grab it so he could pull it off. "Ichigo!" Rukia choked suddenly and without warning she pressed her hands against his chest and pushed him away. Ichigo looked at her in surprise. She was shaking.
"Rukia, what-" he was bewildered. She had never pushed him away before. "What is it? Are you okay?"
She couldn't seem to look him in the eye anymore. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest. And suddenly Ichigo understood. "Oh man, Rukia." he groaned, stepping forward. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was thinking..."
They had kissed a lot in the last three years. A lot. But that was as far as they had gone. It was as far as Ichigo had ever felt comfortable going, considering everything that had happened. "I'm sorry." he repeated, reaching out a careful hand and touching it to her shoulder. She flinched a little under his touch, but didn't push him away. He was grateful for that. "I didn't mean to...look, let's go back down to the party." He said finally. "Someone's bound to notice we're missing, come on-"
But as he turned to leave, Rukia grabbed him and pulled him back. "No." she said in a quiet voice. "Can we...not go back down yet? I mean, I know it's all our friends down there, but...I kind of just want to be with you right now."
Ichigo smiled softly and looked back at her. "Yeah. All right."
He wrapped an arm awkwardly around her shoulders. She didn't flinch this time. He took it as a good sign, and drew her into a hug. "I'm sorry." she muttered into his chest.
"For what?" he asked, resting his chin on top of his head. "You've got nothing to be sorry for, idiot. Just...let me know when you feel ready, all right? I don't want to push it?"
He could tell from the tone of her voice she was smiling. "Thank you, Ichigo."
"Nothing to thank me for either." he said, then added in a light tone, "Idiot."
That, of course, earned him a kick in the knee. "I love you Ichigo."
"I love you too." he said through gritted teeth.
-:-:-:-End Flashback-:-:-:-
"What's his name?" Karin asked as she watched run a hand over the baby's soft cheek. Ichigo thought for a minute. He knew Rukia had picked out a name, what was it again...
"Kaien." he said finally, remembering the story Rukia had told him. "Kaien Kurosaki."
"Kaien." Yuzu repeated. "That's a cute name."
"Rukia picked it." Ichigo scowled. Where the hell was his father already? Why wasn't he out there saying that Rukia was going to be just fine? Was Rukia going to be just fine? He wanted to know. He hadto know? What was taking Isshin so fucking long?
Karin and Yuzu watched their brother, unsure of what to do. They had never seen him this broken before. Not even when their mother had died. And they understood. At least when Masaki had died, they had knownshe was dead. It was hard, but they had been able to deal with it. Rukia though...they didn't have a clue.
"She'll be okay." Yuzu muttered, twisting her hands. Karin nodded. She didn't usually take her sister's optimistic way of thinking seriously. But she knewthat Rukia would be okay. She had to be. For Ichigo. For the baby. For herself.
She had to be okay.
The sound of a door opening startled the three Kurosaki children, and they rushed out into the hall to face their father. "Well?" Ichigo didn't waste anytime. "Is she going to be okay or not?"
Author's Note – Told you nothing thrilling happened in this chapter. Next chapter you'll find out whether or not Rukia lives. Just to add to my fun XD Anyways, I updated much earlier than I planned on. I dunno, I just felt like it. Review and let me know what you think! - Sam