Soundwave Meets the Internet

AN: Warning this contains some language that's rated from K+ to T.

Soundwave wasn't sure why he even agreed doing this. Oh yeah, the accident with the Autobots. Yes, Soundwave was blamed for that; after Shockwave found little miss Pinky on the metal tray it only took a few seconds to discover exactly who it belonged to. With some clever CNA scans and a few words from Dreadwing, everyone on the Nemesis now knew Soundwave's secret. Of course no one was more shocked and angry then Megatron himself. And so, like all naughty bots, Soundwave needed to be punished. But a physical beating from the tyrant seemed too easy. No, Megatron was going to punish him in the worst, most humiliating, way possible.

Stage room 179. Soundwave let out a heavy sigh; he really wanted to deactivate himself right now. A few months ago, a group of humans found out about the Autobots and Decepticons, and made the promise not to speak of it to the public unless both parties were willing to do a cereal commercial shoot. From what Soundwave had heard, the commercial wasn't going to be released until the year 2027, which was a pretty long way away. They just wanted to make a profit for a new cereal called Energon O's.

The metal door swooshed opened and Soundwave instantly regretted coming here. There sitting at the table with a bowl of glowing pink mini Energon cubes was the Autobot leader, Optimus Prime, looking as board as ever. For some unknown reason Optimus was wearing his battle mask. Soundwave gathered as much self respect as he could and forced himself to enter the room. One step, two steps, three steps. Sit.

Optimus immediately took notice of the con, "Are you kidding me?"

"What? What's the problem?" The director's voice echoed from the speakers above.

"I'm not working with him." Ironhide, who stood on the side lines just in case, echoed Prime's words in a more demanding tone, while waving a fist, "He's not working with him!"

"Oh, come now, Mr. Prime. It's just a simple thirty seconds."

"Excuse me!" Prime slammed his fist against the table, "Do you know who I am. I'm Optimus Prime. I don't work with Decepticons."

Ironhide pointed a red servo at Soundwave, "He don't work with no Decepticons!"

"Oh, you're making a big fuss over nothing," the directed waved it off. "We all have a job to do here. So come on, just give it a go."

"No, why do I have to work with someone else now? I thought I was doing these by myself." Soundwave internally rolled his optics. Optimus was being overly dramatic. Yes, Soundwave wasn't a big fan of this either, but at least he wasn't complaining. He was taking his punishment like a mech. Maybe he should show Optimus whose boss. That will make things go a lot faster, and the faster it goes the faster he'll get the frag out of here. With an internal smirk Soundwave decided to voice his opinion on the subject.

"Optimus Prime: incompetent."

"Shut up!" Ironhide growled from the sidelines. Optimus looked back at the camera facing them, "See this guy is an asshole. I'm not going to work with him."

"Optimus Prime: Afraid"

"Afraid? I'm not afraid of you! I'll kick your ass back to Cybertron, you got something to say?"

"Attention Director: Optimus Prime: afraid Soundwave possess superior skills for public delivery of sales marketing propaganda."

"What the hell does that mean?" Oh now he hit a nerve. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all.

"Optimus Prime: Jealous."

"Shut up! I'm not jealous. People like me! You're an uncharismatic bore!"

Optimus Prime: Overrated. Soundwave: Superior."

That really pissed of the Prime, "You think you can do better than me! Then let's go! Let's do it!" Optimus shifted in his seat.

"Okay, perfect. Perfect." The director chimed, about as happy as Soundwave to finally get things rolling.

Optimus grumbled to himself, it sounded like something along the lines of, "Let's see how good you are…. Move over a little… Decepticon."

"Ready and action!" The director called through the mic.

Before they started Optimus looked at Soundwave with a challenge look in his optics, "Try to keep up." He waved a red servo and spoke in an over friendly manner, "Hello, humans. It's me, Optimus Prime, again. I'm here to tell all you kids out there-"

Soundwave glared at Optimus. Sure he wanted to get this over with, but he wasn't about to let his Decepticon pride get demolished by this over size lug nut. He pressed a button on his chest summon one of his cassettes. "Hey, kids." A large metal bird shifted out and started to peck at the bowl of Energon. "This is Lazerbeak. Lazerbeak loves Energon O's cereal."

Optimus'jaw would have fell if it wasn't for his mask, he glared at the director, "He's not allowed to use a bird!"

"Shh… let him go! I want to see where he goes with this." Soundwave smirked behind his own mask, but tried to not to get too cocky. "Lazerbeak thinks Energon O's are fun to eat, isn't that right Lazerbeak."

"Bawwk."

The director was giggling like a school girl at this point, "I love it! I love the bird. Keep going!"

Optimus growled, "You got to be kidding me."

Now this was fun, Soundwave was enjoying himself. And just the fact he was out doing Prime was icing on the cake, as the humans say. "Energon O's is part of a complete breakfast. Ingredients include: Sugar, modified corn starch." Soundwave's screen face flashed to show the different ingredients rolling up on his screen as he named them off. "…corn syrup, dextrose, fructose, calcium carbonate, tricalcium phosphate, trisodium phosphate…"

Optimus rolled his optics and looked away, "Who cares."

"…yellow #5, yellow#6…"

"Okay," the director was becoming a bit uneasy. "Let's just stop right there if we could." Soundwave didn't listen. "…blue #1, red #40..."

"Mr. Soundwave..?"

Optimus made a talking motion with his servo, "See what I mean?"

"…zinc, iron, sodium ascorbate.."

"He's a fucking computer; he's not going to stop."

"Oh…my…"

"…pryidoxine hydrochloride…"

"We can't really have that, now can we?"

Optimus looked back at the director, "Want to let me to do this one by myself?"

"…folic acid, riboflavin, niacin amide…"

"Okay, Mr. Soundwave, thank you…um…" the director was obviously getting scared. "I think we have everything we need, so if don't you could just exiting the stage."

"…thiamin monoitrate…"

"Um…we can move on to the next center…" What? They wanted him to leave? Soundwave wasn't even done yet! He'll show that director whose boss! "Ravage! Eject!" Pressing another button, a large metal panther transformed and growled, ready to pounce.

"Oh, my!" The director let out a nervous chuckle, "there, there kitty…"

Ravage roared.

"Nice… kitty…"

Ravaged tacked the director to the ground earning a cry from the British man. "I can' breathe!"

"Hey," Optimus stood up from his seat, "call him off, Soundwave!"

"Fuck you. Ha. Ha. Ha." Soundwave was having a blast and nothing was going to stop him.

Lazerbeak looked up at Optimus with another "Bawwk."

"What are you looking at?" Optimus roughly slapped Lazerbeak's head. The mechanical bird flew up and bit Prime's servo, then started to peck his optics.

"Someone please! Help me!" Prime was trying to get rid of the bird, swinging his servos at the pesky fowl. He had to help the director. "Ironhide!"

The large red mech happily stomped to the other side of the room, "I'm on it, Prime! Ironhide shot at Ravage, "Come on, get off him!"

Optimus growled when Lazerbeak finally flew away, "Stupid bird!"

But Soundwave wasn't going to let him off the hook that easy, summoning another one of cassettes, Frenzy. The little mech glared at Optimus, "So you called Soundwave, unprofessional, huh?" Frenzy then proceed to jump up and beat the scrap out of Optimus' head. "Ouch, damn it!"

Ironhide was jumping on one foot backwards, with Ravage attacking his right leg. "Get off me leg!"

Frenzy finally knocked Optimus to the ground with a heavy crash. Soundwave allowed himself to laugh in victory, he was sure that Megatron would be pleased.

With Optimus still on the ground Soundwave pressed yet another button, summoning another cassette mech. The cassette crossed his arms in a swinging motion to build up energy, before popping out an elbow and falling backwards onto the Prime.

Soundwave laughed at the painful groan. "Soundwave: Superior."

AN: Lol XD this was so funny! XDXDXDXD Thank you, missmoney101, for the suggestion! And thank you everyone for the reviews and favs/follows. I don't' know what I would do without you! As always I don't own anything. The video 'Soundwave vs. Cereal Commercial,' belongs to DR. SMOOV. They are awesome, check out there vids. Just be prepared because it has some language, but it's still funny especially. 'Wheeljack vs. Cereal Commercial' XD that's my favorite out of them all XDXDXDXDXD *Hands out Energon goodies* Love you guys. Let me know what Soundwave should do next! I love hearing ideas! XP They're my sugar XD