AN: Hey guys! Look at this, I'm updating already! Not too shabby, huh? Okay, now I'm being serious this time, I haven't written hardly anything for the next chapter yet, so I need some feedback. Please please PLEASE let me know if you have ideas… If I don't get any, who knows when the muse monkeys will strike. Probably in the middle of a final exam, as that's usually my luck ;)
Thanks again for reading, and I really hope you enjoy this chapter :)
Blessings,
bookdiva
"Coms are good," Sam's voice came over the link into the OPS center. "And you'll pay for that door slam."
Kensi couldn't help but laugh at that, thankful for the light, relaxed tone in Sam's voice. Deeks didn't respond, but Kensi knew he must be holding back a laugh. She thought back on all the operations they'd run together over the years—how they always worked together—and how he always seemed to know exactly what to say to her to calm her nerves without smothering her. She knew she hadn't always reciprocated, but she wanted to offer him some comfort now.
"We're with you, partner," she said, smiling as the words—and the memory they triggered—came so easily to her. "I'm here," she continued, dropping her voice down to a near-whisper. "And I've got your back. Even if you can't see me, I'm here."
She wasn't expecting a response—he couldn't respond without breaking his cover—but when she heard him clear his throat quietly, she knew she'd said exactly the right thing.
She watched on his button camera he walked into the alley. He wasn't waiting more than a few seconds when audio picked up a voice from behind Deeks.
"Martin Brandel."
Kensi shivered slightly, still not used to the way that name sounded and not completely comfortable of the reminder of what could have became of her Deeks had he not decided to be a different man.
"James Or—"
And then the screen went dark and static filled the room.
"Deeks?" Kensi called when the line went dark. She held her breath and waited, but she only heard static in reply. "Sam?" she tried again, and again, she received no response.
There was a tense silence in the OPS center, and Kensi felt her panic begin to overtake her.
"Deeks?" she called again. "Sam? Callen?" Her voice rose slightly. "Someone… answer!"
Once again, only static answered her.
"Nell?" Kensi demanded, her voice turning sharp. "Where are they? Can't you find them…" she trailed off as her mind began to fail her. "Cameras, or… or… or something!"
"We knew there weren't any cameras in that alley, Kens," she reminded Kensi, her fingers still flying across the keyboard. "And coms should be back up… now!"
"Sam? Callen? Can you hear me?" Kensi called desperately.
Callen's voice suddenly echoed in OPS, accompanied by heavy breathing. "We lost him."
Kensi felt her knees give out, and she gripped the table harder to stay upright.
"What do you mean you lost him?" Kensi demanded. She tried to lace her words with steel, but it came out slightly weak, even to her.
"It was a knock and grab," Sam said. "Ortega went to the meet and knocked Deeks out. Broke the coms and camera in the process. He was gone by the time we got there."
"And you didn't go after him?" Kensi demanded. Both men ignored her.
"Eric," Callen said sharply. "Check near-by security and traffic cams. See if you can narrow down what car Ortega used and where it went."
"I'm going with them," Kensi said, steadying herself.
"Kens," Sam sighed. "Deeks said something like this could happen, and he said if it did to wait it out."
Kensi shook her head. "No. No! I—I have to go… I can't—I can't leave him again."
"Ms. Blye," Hetty finally spoke, causing Kensi to startle slightly. She looked over at the older, smaller woman and felt her heart sink to her toes. "I'm afraid I cannot allow that."
"I won't lose my partner, Hetty," Kensi said, standing up and towering above Hetty.
"I am aware of that," Hetty returned. "But do you recall what you said to me over the phone in Afghanistan?"
The wind left Kensi's sails as the memory washed over her.
**Flashback**
"I wasn't expecting to hear from you again so soon, Ms. Blye," Hetty answered. Kensi opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out. "Ms. Blye?" Hetty repeated after a long moment.
"Yeah, I'm… I'm here, Hetty," Kensi managed. She took a deep breath. "Do you remember what you said to me before you went to Romania?"
Hetty was silent for a long moment, and Kensi could tell that she'd caught her boss by surprise.
"You said that the true challenge in our lives is to know when to stop," Kensi continued when Hetty stayed silent.
"I'm assuming, since you called me on an emergency secured line, that you have more on your mind than a trip down memory lane, Ms. Blye?" Hetty asked after another silent moment.
"Yeah, Hetty," Kensi said, steeling herself. "It's time for me to stop."
Again, silence filled the line between the two women, and Kensi held her breath, determined to wait for Hetty's response.
"I'm afraid, at the moment, that is not an option, Ms. Blye," Hetty said. "If you're contemplating a career change, I urge you to finish this mission first."
"That's not an option, Hetty," Kensi said in a steely voice. Hetty sighed.
"I'm afraid even I do not have enough pull to get you out of this particular mission," Hetty said, though she sounded slightly confused.
Kensi sighed and softened her voice slightly. "Hetty, I'm… I'm uh…" she trailed off, unable to force the words out. It seemed wrong for someone other than Deeks to hear it first, but Kensi knew that Hetty was the only one who could get her home. She sighed again. "It's not just me I have to worry about now," she finally managed.
Kensi closed her eyes as she heard a slight gasp come from Hetty, and Kensi knew she had understood her words.
"I see…" Hetty said after yet another long moment. "Well, this certainly changes things."
Kensi clenched her jaw. "I'm coming home Hetty," she all but growled. "I'll do it with or without your help." Kensi sighed, and her voice dropped down to barely a whisper. "I just hoped you would… help us."
"I assume, as he's not currently here figuratively knocking down my door and demanding your return, that you've not yet informed Mr. Deeks of his impending fatherhood?" Hetty asked, her voice slightly wry.
Kensi held back a small smile and kept her guard up. She still wasn't sure if Hetty was on her side or not, but she was not at all surprised that Hetty knew about her and Deeks.
"That can be easily rectified," Kensi said, keeping her voice firm as she delivered the threat.
"No need for that, Ms. Blye," Hetty said, and Kensi finally heard the smile in her voice. "I'm sure you'd much rather tell him in person."
Kensi gasped. "You mean…"
"There is a military transport flying out of your base in a matter of a few hours. Be ready when I call you," Hetty cut her off. "If all goes well, I believe you shall be back in time to more than make up for forgetting your partner's birthday last year."
**End Flashback**
"It's not just me…" Kensi murmured. She squeezed her eyes shut. It felt like she was making the most important decision of her life, and yet she knew she had no choice in the matter.
Andy comes first.
She smiled at how easily their son's name sounded in her mind. She felt a peace wash over her, knowing that's what Deeks would want if he were there.
She opened her eyes, nodded down at Hetty, and stepped back. Deeks had planned for this—he'd known this was a possibility—so she would trust her partner. He may have come close once before, but he'd still kept his promise. And there was absolutely no way he would break it now.
"Okay," she nodded, accepting there was nothing she could physically do at the moment. "Okay, I'll stay here. But I'm not siting back and doing nothing. What do we know about James Ortega? Do we have any addresses on this guy?"
Nell shook her head.
"Until Deeks uncovered his connection to this case, Ortega's been a ghost," Nell said. "The guys are headed in. We'll regroup and figure out a game plan."
Kensi just nodded and turned on her heel. She needed to get out of OPS and do some regrouping of her own.
Kensi walked down the steps, around the corner, and into the empty armory where she could have some privacy to process the recent events on her own.
At the moment, she couldn't make sense of the swirling mess that was her mind, so she allowed her mind to wander to the night before she was sent away and focused on that.
She remembered the way it had felt—the nerves, the hesitation, and then finally giving in. She remembered looking down into his eyes, wondering how they'd gotten to that point.
"What are you doing to me?"
She could've sworn she'd heard him mumble "Falling in love with you" in response to her desperate question, but she wasn't convinced she hadn't made that up.
She remembered how slow and passionate and gentle it had been. The second and third rounds had been hotter and faster as four years worth of pent up sexual frustration was released. But that first time… She shuddered as she remembered how deliberate, loving, and gentle he'd been with her.
She smiled with her eyes still closed and placed both hands over her stomach, and she decided right then and there that their child had been conceived that first time. She couldn't stop the hum of contentment that passed her lips as she allowed her mind to linger on the details from that night. The way he'd—
"Kensi?" Callen's voice snapped her out of her wonderful memory. She opened her eyes, startled to see Sam and Callen standing in the doorway to the armory.
Kensi felt her face heat up as she blushed ferociously at having been caught in that particular memory.
She couldn't force any words past the lump in her throat, so she quickly collected herself and looked expectantly at Sam and Callen. Callen seemed rattled at the way they'd found her, but Sam stepped in.
"We've got a plan, Kens," Sam said, smiling knowingly. "We're going to call Ray again to see if he can give us some insight into where Ortega might have taken Deeks."
Kensi nodded and silently followed the guys out of the armory and up to OPS. When they entered the OPS center, Callen nodded to Eric, and Eric connected the call from the small burner phone.
"Hell, Marty, that was a quick mission," Ray jabbed at his—unknown to him—absent friend in greeting when he answered.
"It's not quite over yet, Ray," Sam said. "Deeks is still in. Or, we think he is. Ortega grabbed him, and we lost the trail. We have no reason to even suspect his cover was blown. Is this something to worry about?"
Ray was silent for a long moment before he spoke.
"Where's Wikipedia?" he asked, his tone impossible to determine.
"I'm right here, Ray," Kensi answered.
"Hmm…" Ray hummed. He paused a moment, as if he was deciding how much he should say in her presence, before he continued. "It's not completely unusual—though when I was with him, James only did that with high level assets… or threats." Ray was silent again for a brief moment. "My best guess—and I'm no psychologist, so take it with a grain of salt—is that he sees Marty as a connection to me. To him, we were as close as brothers, and he thinks I'm dead. I talked about Marty Brandel all the time—about how he was like a little brother to me—so I'd guess that, if everything checks out, James will take Marty under his wing, so to speak."
Kensi took in this news, unsure whether she should feel relief at her partner's safety or dread at the fact that this op could drag on longer than expected. All around her, her team was nodding, seemingly accepting that—for the moment, at least—Deeks wasn't in danger.
"Can you give us any locations where he could've taken Deeks?" Callen asked, finally joining the conversation.
"He worked out of a specific area," Ray said. He rattled off a few possible addresses, and Nell and Eric jotted them down.
With the official business finally wrapped up, Hetty made to end the call.
"No!" Kensi protested, reaching out and taking the phone from Hetty's grasp.
"Ms. Blye?" Hetty questioned, but her eyes showed her usual understanding.
"Wikipedia?"
Kensi opened her mouth, but she couldn't get the reply past her lips.
"Let's give Ms. Blye a moment," Hetty said, ushering Callen and Sam out of OPS to do follow up research on the leads Ray had just given them.
When OPS was finally cleared, Kensi let herself go. Shaking, she slid down against the table and choked back a sob.
"Kens, you okay?" Ray asked, sounding worried.
"Yeah, it's just… hormones, you know?" Kensi said, though talking was becoming harder. She breathed in deeply as Ray just hmm'd, clearly not believing her. "Look, I'll be fine as soon as he is. Just… I can't do anything right now, and I just… just talk to me?" Kensi asked, not even caring at the desperate, slightly begging tone of her voice.
The line was silent for a long moment.
"You know, Kens, it's funny," Ray said, his voice taking on a nostalgic note. "I hadn't seen Marty in almost twenty years—since he was eleven—but when we met again when he was under as Max, I recognized him. I realized he was using a fake name. I knew what that meant, and… well I just couldn't sell him out."
Ray sighed and Kensi held her breath, unwilling to interrupt this memory.
"I met Marty when he was five," Ray finally continued. "I was nine at the time. I'd snuck out of the house after my old man had come home. He was three sheets to the wind, but he managed a light beating before he passed out." Ray chuckled. "I headed out, not really knowing where I was going, when I ran into this kid."
"Marty?" Kensi asked after a long pause.
"Marty," Ray confirmed. "It was the middle of the night, and this five-year-old kid was walking on the street like he knew exactly where he was going." Ray let out a laugh and Kensi could imagine him shaking his head. "I told him he should be at home—that the streets were dangerous for kids like him, especially at that time of night. You know what he said to me?"
"What?" Kensi prompted breathily, feeling her heart clench in her chest.
"He said, 'Home's not safe either,' and then he just kept on walking."
Kensi felt a tear slip down her cheek as she pictured Deeks as a little boy—so similar to what she imagined the child now growing inside of her would look like—wandering the streets alone.
"Of course I couldn't just let him wander around alone," Ray continued, "but I couldn't really send him home, either. So I followed him to protect him—or at least, that's what I told myself. The whole way to the beach, he chatted my ear off. I couldn't get the kid to shut up."
Kensi let out a watery laugh. "That sounds exactly like Deeks."
"He asked questions about everything and anything," Ray said, joining Kensi in laughter. "But then out of the blue, he just stopped. We'd reached the beach, and he just sat down on the sand, and curled up."
"You slept on the beach?" Kensi mused aloud.
"Yep," Ray confirmed. "And I gotta say, in my nine years of life to that point, I'd never had a better night's sleep." He sighed deeply. "From there, he became like my little brother. I looked out for him, and he looked out for me. I gave him that gun to protect him, but after he shot his dad… the social workers took him off and I lost track of him. So, when I found him again, I couldn't just turn my back on him."
"So what happened, Ray?" Kensi prodded.
"I volunteered to show the new guy the ropes in order to get Marty on his own," Ray said. "I confronted him, and he admitted to being a cop. Straight out—no denial. I suppose it probably doesn't sound like the smartest undercover strategy—he could've told me any number of lies at that moment, and I'd've probably believed him—but in that moment, he trusted me, and…"
"It was like you were those kids again," Kensi finished, understanding. Ray chuckled.
"Yeah." He sighed again. "You know, I always thought it was me looking out for him, but now I realize it was really the other way around."
Kensi just nodded, totally able to see how that would be the case. Deeks did it with her on a daily basis. He always made her feel like she was the tough one—like she was the protector—while always looking out for her needs and keeping her safe.
"He does that with me, too," Kensi finally admitted. "I'm not sure how he manages it—making it seem like I'm pulling my weight, when in reality he's protecting me—but he always does."
"When I got over the shock of him being a cop," Ray continued, "I tried to convince him to let it go and just become Max. Join for real and live the good life. I was high enough up, I could've gotten him a pretty posh position and he'd've been set—especially with that law degree. But he was adamant," Ray chuckled, and a soft note entered his voice, "He explained to me why he did it—that he wanted to put men like our dads, and worse, away. He wanted to stop violence before it could touch another child's life."
Kensi smiled and felt her hand rest on her stomach. He will be an amazing father.
"He made me realize what I'd become. I wanted out, but I didn't know how. Marty could've turned me in with the rest of them, but instead he made me his CI, gave me immunity, and eventually a brand new life." Kensi heard Ray swallow hard. "I'll owe him for the rest of my life, Kens. And I know we're gonna find him."
"Yeah," Kensi breathed, not even really talking to Ray anymore. "Yeah. We have to. Andy has to know his daddy."
"Andy?"
Kensi startled at the reminder that she wasn't really alone.
"Andrew Donald Deeks," Kensi answered. "That's what we decided to name our son…"
She felt fresh, hot tears slide down her cheeks.
"So you're having a boy?" Ray asked. He was clearly trying to distract her, but Kensi latched onto the distraction.
"We're… well, it's too early to tell, honestly," Kensi said, closing her eyes. "It's just… I just know he's a boy."
"Mother's intuition?" Ray asked, a smile in his voice.
"Something like that," Kensi chuckled. She paused for a moment, and then the flood gates sprang open. "I was away on that classified mission Granger was raving about earlier," she said, the words tumbling out on top of themselves, "when I found out that I'm pregnant. I was… kinda freaking out."
"I can only imagine," Ray laughed.
"Okay, I was really freaking out," Kensi admitted. "But then I crawled into my bunk, closed my eyes, and I swear I could see him. A little boy with mismatched ocean blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair—or to quote Deeks, golden Norwegian locks…"
"Damn girl," Ray whistled, "you've got it bad."
Kensi choked out a laugh.
"Yeah," she said, shaking her head. "Yeah, I know. Just don't tell Deeks. I'll have to kick his ass when he gets back for scaring me like this."
"Deal." Ray was silent for a moment, and Kensi became lost in her favorite day dreams of her future. "You know," he said, startling Kensi out of her day dreams, "I remember the day he decided he was Norwegian."
"What do you mean 'he decided' he was Norwegian?" Kensi wondered aloud, feeling confusion sweep over her. Ray just laughed. "You mean he's been lying about that?" she demanded when Ray didn't continue.
"No," Ray quickly defended his friend, and Kensi felt ashamed that she'd ever even considered that. Ray sighed. "We were working on my family tree—it was for my science class, and even though Marty is younger, he's always been better at school—and Marty decided that he wanted to make his too." Ray paused for a minute to allow Kensi a moment to process.
"So you guys just made things up?" she asked, still not fully understanding. Ray snorted.
"Well it's not like either of us could ask our fathers without risking life and limb, and his mom was…" he trailed off, then began again. "Well, that's his story to tell. So we decided to make up our own, with anything we wanted."
"You created your own family trees?" Kensi breathed, once again in awe of this glimpse into her partner's past.
"Yeah," Ray laughed fondly at the memory. "He was ten years old, but he was absolutely adamant that it all be as legit as possible. I guess he was a mini-lawyer even back then." Kensi laughed at that. "I said that with his blonde hair and blue eyes, he could be a German, but he would NOT accept that. Apparently his class was learning about WWII, and Hitler reminded him of his father. He said his father had no place in his family tree."
Kensi choked back a sob, thinking of how different Deeks's childhood experience had been from her own. She'd idolized her father, whereas he had eliminated his father from his family tree.
"Then one day he met up with me, all excited," Ray continued. Kensi closed her eyes and pictured it—the image bringing a smile to her lips. "His class had learned about the Vikings, and he was absolutely convinced that he was really a Viking who'd been granted rebirth for his wonderful, daring quests…" Ray trailed off with a chuckle. "And we've been of Norwegian decent ever since."
"We?" Kensi caught onto that little detail.
"I told you we got to make it however we wanted," Ray said firmly. "We're brothers."
"Kens," Sam said, striding quickly through the doors. Kensi looked up quickly. "We think we've got a location."
Kensi felt a jolt of relief shoot through her, and she managed a small smile up at Sam.
"Okay," she said with a nod. "Thanks Ray," she continued softly. "For everything."
"We're family now, Kens," Ray said firmly. "Anytime. Anything."
Kensi smiled and hung up before she really lost it. Eric was already pulling up footage from the camera across the street from where they suspected Ortega had taken Deeks. He rewound the footage to around the time Deeks had gone offline. After watching figures speed by for what seemed like forever, Kensi finally gasped.
"There!" she exclaimed. She swallowed down her panic as she watched two men drag her unconscious partner into the abandoned warehouse. "Right there! We've got him!"
Callen and Sam both nodded, but neither of them made a move to exit OPS.
"Why aren't you going to get him?" Kensi demanded, pushing back flashbacks to the last time Deeks had been taken against his will. "We need to go get him now, before this can escalate." She paused and made direct eye contact with Sam. "Again."
"Not yet," Callen said. Kensi began to protest, but Callen raised his hand to cut her off. He nodded to the screen, and Kensi looked up to see that Eric had paused it. The time stamp showed the footage was live.
Deeks was walking out of the warehouse with James Ortega, talking and laughing—though not the real, genuine Marty Deeks laugh—as if they were old friends. Ortega turned to one of his men, and Deeks looked directly across the street and into the camera. He paused to look behind him once to make sure neither of the men were paying attention, then he turned back to the camera and flashed a discrete hand signal straight into it.
He nodded down to a cafe, two buildings down and held up three fingers. He glanced behind him once more before looking back to the camera. He smiled and held his hand out in the sign language for I love you—the same sign she'd signed to him so long ago as a failed attempt at a hang-loose sign. The little gesture was brief, but it was totally Deeks. It was just the kind of cheesy, ridiculous thing only he could get away with.
"Damn him," Kensi whispered as she felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she was smiling and her hand flashed the signal back even though he couldn't see it.
"Only Deeks would even try something like that," Sam said, unable to stop his laugh. "C'mon, G," he continued. "Let's go stake out that cafe. I think Deeks was sending us a message. It might be time for Drey and Scott to make an appearance," Sam said referring to their previously set up undercover identities.
Callen nodded and headed out the door. Sam made to follow him, but he paused a moment and stopped, studying Kensi intently. Kensi fought back a blush under his strict scrutiny.
"Take care of him, Sam," Kensi demanded. "I'm not there to watch his back, so—"
"You don't even have to ask, Kens," Sam interrupted. "He'll be back safe and sound before you know it. Then you can beat him up for scaring you like that."
Kensi just nodded and smiled to herself as she watched Sam walk out the door, knowing that it certainly wouldn't be a beating that Marty Deeks would be coming home to.