Ten

Groaning she tries to crack her eyes open, but the effort seems to be too much for the moment. What the hell… okay, second try. Whatever happened, at least she's still alive because she just can't bring herself to believe that her head would hurt like this in the afterlife. And slowly bits of what must have caused this headache come back… Oh God, Evan.

In an instant, she's sitting upright, regretting it only seconds later. With another groan, she buries her head in her hands… "Easy, Captain," says a voice she doesn't recognize and very carefully, she lifts her head and opens her eyes again. In front of her, there's a woman with the name Dr. Evangeline Hilliard on her name tag, above a patch stating that she's part of the Apollo's medical staff.

Okay, that means she can spare the question of where she is… "Could you please look at me?" She does as she is asked and regrets it only moments later because the doctor shines a flashlight first into her right and then into her left eye and leaves her with another surge of nauseating a headache. Can they please get over this stupid torture? She's alive; she can see straight, she just has to get rid of that fucking headache…

The moment Colonel Ellis, the Apollo's commander comes into view, she jumps off the bed to stand at attention. From the corner of her eye she can see that Dr. Hilliard doesn't actually approve of this – her head doesn't either – but old habits just die hard. So when Ellis comes to stand in front of her she's about to salute him but he just gives her a curt, "At ease, Captain."

With that, she gives him a picture perfect parade rest, momentarily forgetting that she's wearing pajamas instead of a uniform. For some reason, suddenly doing everything by the book is very important for her… almost as if to counter the turmoil inside of her that's getting crazier by the minute, now that memories of what just happened come back to her and the worry for Evan nearly drives her insane.

"I don't like beating around the bush so I'll be blunt. You know what happened before we beamed you up?" Ahaha, very funny, sir, is the first thing she wants to answer Ellis but then the Marine part of her gets the upper hand.

"Sir, yes, sir. I was threatened with a gun by Major Lorne, sir. After a second of shock, I saw his eyes glow like a Goa'uld's and defended myself to make time until I could make a distress call. I don't know anything after what happened after we got beamed up, sir." Ellis just nods. Obviously… he'd just wanted her to confirm a story he knew. Does that mean that they got the snake out of his head?

"You were both hit by zat beams because we didn't know which of you presented the danger. Still good thinking there, Captain." It had been everything but thinking. The only reason why she'd told them to have the zats ready had been because she just had this spur of a moment idea that she somehow needed them to warn of what was going to descend on them.

However… you don't argue with a guy like Ellis about this. "Thank you, sir. Sir… permission to ask a question?"

Ellis nods. "Go ahead."

She suppresses the urge to bite her lip, wishing this was Sheppard in front of her, not Ellis. She doesn't know how many people in the SGC know about the kind of relationship between her and Evan and that it's sanctioned by the highest authorities so she knows she has to be careful. "How's Major Lorne, sir?"

Come on; say he's fine and that he's waiting for me in the next room… "Apart from a few bruises, Major Lorne is fine." Phew. Now how to phrase the question if she can… "However, the SGC hasn't given permission to beam you two down yet. He's currently in the brig." The… brig? "He's still possessed by the Goa'uld, Captain."

It's not the sentence in itself that makes her break her parade rest and lean back against the bed. Rather it's the tone in which Ellis delivers it – not his usual matter-of-factness that borders on brashness but quietly and with just a hint of sympathy. It takes away all her illusions of Evan being himself again, of this nightmare being over almost as soon as it began and she needs a moment to collect herself, as embarrassing as it might be.

Taking a deep breath, she straightens up again and looks Ellis in the eye when she says, "Requesting permission to see him, sir."

To her surprise, Ellis shakes his head. "Request denied, Captain." No. No way. So yes, this is Colonel Ellis, not Colonel Sheppard but this is Evan they're talking about here. She knows that the consciousness of a Goa'uld's host stays intact and awake during the possession and the thought of Evan being alone with that thing in his head, without any means to defend himself or at least hide away makes her sick to her stomach and she desperately wants to give him a sign she's still there. She wants to tell him she knows it wasn't him who threatened her with that gun and that she'll do everything to rip that snake out of his head again… or at least enable other people to do it.

"With all due respect, sir, it's imperative I see Major Lorne." She looks Ellis straight into the eyes, doesn't flinch, doesn't budge… and it's one of the hardest staring matches she has ever had to endure.

In the end, he says, "It's not a pretty sight to see, Captain," and it feels like he's testing her… trying to find out if she's going to falter like a girl in the face of horror. But like hell she'll give him the satisfaction.

Instead of the answer he probably expected, she replies, "Last time I saw him, I was staring into a Beretta's muzzle, held by his hands… in a bedroom in his parents' beach house. I think I've seen enough not so pretty sights to not be shocked by anything, sir."

That quip about the bedroom… had been intentional. If Ellis wants to test her, fine. He just should have expected that she would test him as well. She can hear Dr. Hilliard clear her throat beside her but Ellis is faster than the doc, saying, "Fine. But don't come crying to me when he spits at you."

Hopefully… she'll never have to serve under Ellis because he'll probably never let her forget that he could have decided differently and that she owes him one for this. So she just nods and says, "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it." Ellis looks at her as if to tell her that she better but in the end only tells Dr. Hilliard to complete her physical.

Finally, Hilliard is finished with prying and prodding and although she's not actually happy about it, she lets her go. When they exit the infirmary, a security escort joins them, not the least bit discreetly but she had half-expected it anyway. Also, obviously, there's more to it because Ellis starts questioning her, right then and there in the corridor, "Any idea how that Goa'uld got into Major Lorne, Captain? And how long he's been infected?"

Well… good questions, all of them. Unfortunately… she has no idea. Trying to get a grip on herself, she measures her pace after the Colonel's and keeps her voice level and professional – or as professional as you can when the full impact of what just happened starts to get into your head – when she answers, "Negative on both of them, sir. I just…" Get a fucking grip on yourself, she chides herself when her voice breaks as she's about to explain to Ellis where she'd been when the Goa'uld had revealed himself.

"Captain?" Abruptly… she stops, making Ellis and the escorts stop with her as well. It's becoming harder to make everyone believe none of this has affected her and only the threat of embarrassment beyond everything possible makes her abstain from breaking down right that moment.

She takes a deep breath. "As of now, I can't give you any information on the incident other than I was completely taken by surprise by it, sir. I'm as clueless as everyone else is but believe me: I will do everything possible to help clearing this up ASAP." Then, as an afterthought and to avoid having to talk about this evening any further, she adds, "Permission to ask a question, sir?"

For a moment Ellis eyes her like he expects her to go into hysterics any moment and that look alone makes her straighten up and close herself off even more. No way she'll let this arrogant bastard of a Zoomie officer see any of the turmoil inside of her. As if he saw that, he finally gestures them to move on and nods. "Permission granted, Captain."

"Is there any word yet about the further course of action?" Ellis takes a few moments to answer that question… obviously weighing his options against each other and how much he'll tell her. But dammit, she has every right to be privy of everything.

In the end, he replies, "As soon as the SGC gives green light, you'll be beamed down. Far as I know they sent word to the Tok'ra that we need assistance with the extraction of a Goa'uld." Thank God. That means that this will be over in a few hours, right? "I gather they will take two or three days to question the Goa'uld in Major Lorne's body." She almost stopped again. And she almost jumped Ellis to hit him where it really hurts for that. Goddammit, don't they have any idea what Evan might be going through at the moment? Do they really want to make him suffer for so much longer? Do they…

No… she needs to stay cool and calm. There's a reason they won't free him immediately of the Goa'uld and of course it's a good reason. So she swallows all the insults and the fantasies of physical assault on Ellis and says matter-of-factly, "To find out who did this, I take it?"

Ellis nods, hopefully not privy to the things that just went through her head. "Correct. To put it bluntly… they're scared shitless about this. Flushed quite a few of the red tape junkies out of their holes." Huh. Where did that come from? Someone got a problem with the SGC here?

She chooses not to dwell on this too much and only utters a non-committal, "I see, sir." It looks like Ellis wants to reply something but they just entered the area she recognizes as the brig from her time on the Daedalus. They come to a halt in front of a bulkhead and Ellis gestures for the security escort to open it. Right. Whatever awaits her in there… the most important thing is to always remember that Evan's still there, somewhere behind those golden Goa'uld eyes and that he needs to know she is still there as well.

A/N: Apparently, someone's not exactly happy about the Goa'uld making her fiancé an unwilling host... Also, I hope I got Ellis right since it's been a while since I saw his SGA eps. Oh, and everyone be sympathetic to mac who seems to be in a bit of bad luck this week (the week she wanted to do beta work for me of all weeks -_-). And as always I enjoyed your comments and speculations, especially The Cat's Whiskers' one. You always give me so much food for thought it's awesome!