Chapter Eleven:

Going home meant facing Edward after he had expressly told her not to go to Jasper, but she didn't care. She couldn't imagine him saying or doing anything that would make her feel any worse than she did at that moment. In fact, she probably deserved his wrath for what had occurred moments before. Though no ears but her own had heard the words, she had admitted to loving another man, and she knew that in doing so she had wronged Edward to an even greater degree than she had in the previous weeks. Being unfaithful was a terrible offense, but love, love was something else entirely and to have crossed that line meant more than she was willing to let herself consider.

She resolved then that she would make up for everything by staying near Edward and remaining devoted to him no matter what the cost to herself. Everything was for Edward now.

"I will forget Jasper," she said aloud, trying to muster up the necessary determination. "I have to."

Supporting herself on the idea of what was right and steadfastly ignoring the dull ache in her chest, she ran back into the yard in front of the house. Edward was waiting for her, clutching his phone in one angry fist and pacing the porch with his eyes trained to the forest. When he saw her, he stopped pacing, but he wasn't able to relax.

"Emmett promised he would watch you and he didn't. I expressly requested that you not leave the house. You promised me, Bella."

She took a deep, shaky breath and approached him, putting her hand gently on his forearm. "Don't blame Emmett. I didn't give him a choice," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I left, but it's done now, for good. I am here for you and only you."

He regarded her closely, unsure of what to do and how he was supposed to react to the situation. He knew that anger was the proper response and that he had so many reasons to be upset with her, but in the end he felt it was easier and better for them if he pushed that feeling away.

She looked back at him, watching the varying unknown thoughts and feelings flicker in his eyes, but after a moment of his close scrutiny she had to avert her gaze. She looked down at a spot of snow on the porch, studying the unimportant speck of white like a scolded child. When she felt his arms circle around her and his lips softly press against the top of her head she let herself fall into the hug and lean on him for support that she desperately needed.

"I arranged our trip," he said into her hair, purposely dropping the topic of her defection. "We're leaving tomorrow for England."

"That's great," she replied, but her voice came out less excited than she had intended.

He pulled back to look at her, his hands still resting on her back, and she pushed a smile onto her face, hoping that it didn't look as false as it felt.

After a few seemingly long seconds, she broke the silence. "Well I better start packing."

Edward nodded in assent and brushed his lips against her forehead before releasing her to go into the house. Instead of following her as she pushed open the door and headed up the stairs, he stood on the porch staring at the expanse of the lawn and the ever quickening snowfall that blanketed his world in white.

He reached out into the woods with his mind, searching for any errant thoughts in the empty wilderness. He reassured himself by thinking that he was merely securing the isolation and safety of the house, but the mind he was really looking for was Jasper's.

When he didn't find any trace of anyone he turned to go into the house, pleased, but as he opened the door he paused to examine the large crack that snaked down the center and in that moment he caught the edge of a frantic, yet determined voice.

He turned back around towards the direction of the road and listened carefully for the thoughts to repeat themselves or to be followed by something more concrete that would allow him to identify the voice, but he was greeted with nothing but silence. After a moment of listening with all of the strength of his power, he heard another distinct sound, not with his mind but with his ears; the sound of a car engine in the distance.

Abandoning the idea of going into the house, he stood and waited as the sound grew louder and with it, any doubt that the person in the car was heading in the direction of their home.

Though the opening of the driveway was blocked by trees, as soon as the car neared the turn of the drive, Edward knew by the familiar tenor of the person's thoughts who was behind the wheel.

Alice.

He waited with some impatience as she pulled up and turned the ignition off. When she exited the car, almost flinging the door open and slamming it behind her, he could see a myriad of emotion on her face; frustration chiefly, but a small amount of sadness as well.

"Edward, we need to talk."

"Now you want to talk?" he responded. He couldn't help the sudden anger he felt towards her brimming up inside of him. "You should have spoken with me the minute you had your first vision about this. We have never had any secrets between us Alice and when it really counted you didn't do a damn thing! You just left."

"I had to leave," she stated with an almost matter of fact self assurance. "I had to let it run its course."

"No you didn't!" he replied, his voice suddenly growing louder. "You should have warned me about it and stayed and helped me to stop it from happening instead of running away and not giving me any warning at all. This was not the proper course! You had to do anything but leave without saying a word."

Alice closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them, she looked at him with pity. "Don't you see, Edward? Even if I had stayed, we never could have stopped this from happening. If it wasn't now, it would have been later."

"No I don't believe that. He…he took advantage of her, she was going through something and he used that to get to her. She would have gotten over it and she would have been fine. Carlisle told me to let her be for awhile and let her get adjusted, if I had just stayed near her…and you, if you had just told me I could have saved everyone from this mess."

She put a hand on his forearm to stop him from his long diatribe and the pity he saw in her eyes grew stronger, causing him to become even angrier with her.

"You can't continue to blame everyone but her to hide that she hurt you," she said quietly. "It doesn't work like that. She is an adult Edward and she made her own decisions."

He shook his arm out of her reach and turned away, gripping the ice cold railing of the porch almost to the point of it splintering. He tried to turn his thoughts away from the dangerous subject that she had broached, pushing every ounce of anger and hurt that he felt towards Bella away. "Why did you come back?"

Eyeing his stiff form with caution, she considered her words before she spoke. "I left to let the future I foresaw come of its own fruition, and I came back because what I thought would happen has changed now."

His head turned rapidly in her direction. "What do you mean? Is she going to go back to him?"

She sighed. "No Edward, that's not it."

Letting go of the railing, he turned towards her with a swiftness bordering on violence. "Then what is it, Alice? Stop being vague and just tell me what is going on because I don't have the energy for this."

"They…" she began and shook her head to reconsider, "Jasper was going to be happy and now all I see in his future is pain and sorrow."

Edward narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "And after all this you care about his happiness?"

"You care about Bella's happiness," she countered. "It's the same thing Edward."

He straightened his shoulders in defiance and looked down at her. "No, it's not…he did this, not her."

"Edward...they did this together…"

"Shut up!" he said sharply, turning away from her to face the yard again.

Alice sighed in frustration. "It's fine if you can't admit it to yourself yet but I have to make you understand what's at stake here."

"I know what's at stake here."

"No, you don't," she said, trying to push her thoughts into his mind so that he would understand what she'd seen. He shook his head furiously, trying to ignore the happy visions of Jasper and Bella he saw there.

He took a step away from her as if the distance would stop his ability from working as effectively. "Stop, just stop. I don't understand any of this. Have you forgiven him; are you over this so quickly?"

She took a deep breath, letting it out in a shaky gust of air. When she spoke again, her voice wasn't nearly as strong as before. "I haven't…and I'm not, at all. It hurts more than anyone can know. I just care about them both and I want them to be happy, even if that happiness does not include me."

Edward's hands balled into fists and he squeezed so tightly his fingernails dug into his hands. He could feel the terrible pang in his chest at the implication of her words. "She'll be happy with me again, the way things are won't last forever."

"No, you're right," Alice replied gently, taking a step towards him. "She'll get a little better as time goes on. She'll convince herself that she is content with the fact that she stayed with you and twenty, thirty years from now you'll be together and travel and maybe she'll even laugh again, but she won't be truly happy…she won't be Bella, not the same one you remember."

Her words fell upon him heavily and weighed down his heart, but he still couldn't believe her. "She promised to stay with me, she wants to. She loves me."

She hated to hurt him further, but she knew if she didn't push she would never get through to him. "I know, and she would stay with you forever if you let her. That is how she has always been; she will continue to put you above herself for the rest of eternity. Can you really live with that knowledge? Can you keep her with you forever, all the while knowing that every time she gets a distant look in her eyes she's probably thinking about him?"

Edward looked at her, his mind racing through his feelings. He straightened up, taking a deep breath before responding. "Yes, I can. I will not lose her."

Alice shook her head quickly. "You don't even know what you're saying…just look at my vision, look at her…"

"God damnit Alice, stop. I do know what I'm saying I had this under control before you came along, so you better not get in my way."

He marched passed her angrily and went into the house, pushing the cracked door open so hard that it shattered into pieces under his touch.

/&/

Bella packed her things, oblivious to the argument taking place downstairs. She had heard the car arrive, but her mind had been too distracted to tune into the voices rising and falling outside.

When Edward came back in the room, his body still stiff with anger, she didn't even look up from her task. He stood staring at her for awhile, remembering everything Alice had said and feeling ever more comfortable with his resolve to take Bella away. Alice's visions changed constantly and he knew from experience that there were often multiple paths in every situation. There was no guarantee that Bella would be miserable and that her sadness would never fully abate. Now that he saw her blank, lifeless face through Alice's vision he could stop it from happening and he could keep her happy.

"How is the packing going?" he asked, moving closer to her and placing a protective hand on her back.

She unconsciously stiffened under his touch, swallowing the ever present lump in her throat. "Fine, though I'm really unsure what to bring."

"Bring everything, who knows how long we'll be gone."

She furrowed her eyebrows and turned to him, suddenly panicked. "What do you mean?"

"Well, who knows, you might enjoy yourself so much that we'll stay for years," he said drily, his words contradicting the image of Alice's vision that popped up once more behind his eyes.

"Maybe," she replied, turning back to fold another sweater into her suitcase. She thought about being away from home, from her family, for years and a pain tugged at her heart, but then she remembered the state of the family and she tucked it away, thinking that perhaps going away really was for the best.

After watching her for a few minutes, Edward turned away from her and went to his own closet to pack his things. He had only taken down a few items before he heard the steps on the stairs and the tiny knock on their bedroom door. The anger that had only moments before began to disappear now returned and he moved from his closet to the door with vampiric speed, ripping the door open. "Go away. I don't want to talk to you anymore right now."

She looked at him with a sudden coolness. "I don't want to talk to you, I want to talk to Bella."

"No," he snapped, putting his body in the center of the door frame. "Absolutely not."

Bella had come out of her closet surprised to hear Alice's voice and stood watching the exchange quietly from inside the room. Edward's resolute tone scared her, but it was easy to ignore it with the mingled guilt and curiosity that Alice's appearance excited.

Alice glanced at Bella and then narrowed her eyes at Edward. "You may be afraid of what I'll say to her, but this isn't your choice, it's Bella's."

"No," he repeated firmly.

"Edward please let me talk to her," Bella's voice came quietly from behind him.

He clenched his teeth and glared at Alice before reluctantly moving aside. He opened his mouth to speak but she put up a hand to stop him, knowing what he was going to say before he did. She directed her thoughts at him; I will not say anything about my visions to try and influence her.

The thought relaxed him slightly, but not enough to stop him from looking into her mind for her intentions. To his complete irritation she was blocking him from listening. She had always been the most effective at it and he knew that as long as he looked she would never let him in.

Alice came into the room, standing beside the couch and turning to look at Edward expectantly. He looked back at her, waiting for her to say something before the meaning of her look dawned on him.

"I'm staying in the room," he said evenly, matching her stare with his own.

"Oh do you need to babysit your wife now?" Alice questioned tartly, knowing that the mention of being babied would bring Bella over to her side.

Just as expected, Bella turned to Edward and said brusquely, "I can manage speaking to Alice on my own."

Edward sighed, and rather than fight with either of them he relented. "Fine, but I'll be just downstairs."

His words that were said as a means of comforting Bella carried a meaning for Alice as well. He was letting her know in no uncertain terms that he would be in earshot and that he would not tolerate her interference.

Alice smiled at him triumphantly, but as soon as he was out of the room she became suddenly serious. She walked over and closed the door, coming back and sitting on the couch. She motioned for Bella to sit down across from her and as she moved to join her, Alice was able to take in Bella's appearance in person for the first time. The girl she had left in house the week before had been saddened and confused, but the woman she saw before her now looked broken.

She didn't know how Edward could look at the woman he loved in this state and continue with his plan as if everything would be fine.

Bella sat down across from Alice and had trouble meeting her friend's eyes. "Alice, I'm so sorry…if I could take it back I would…"

Alice shook her head quickly and put her hand up to stop Bella from speaking in the same way she had stopped Edward.

"Even though you might have convinced yourself of that, you wouldn't," she replied quickly. "And I'm not here to listen to you apologize, I know you're sorry for hurting me. I'm here to say something to you that I think it's important that you hear."

Bella closed her mouth and waited, eyeing Alice with the only real interest she had shown all day.

Alice's eyes ran over her face for a second before she plunged immediately to the heart of the matter. "Is this really what you want Bella?"

The words Alice chose echoed so closely to those that Jasper had said an hour before and she felt the familiar ache intensify. "Yes," she answered, ignoring any protestations she felt inside.

"I don't believe that, Bella."

Bella swallowed hard. "Well it's true. I was going through a phase, but it's over now. I'm leaving with Edward."

Frowning at the weak parroted response of Edward's words to her, Alice took another route. She grabbed Bella's hand holding it between both of her own tightly, making eye contact with her to make sure her message pushed through Bella's self rationalizing exterior. "Listen to me, and listen well. This isn't a phase you're going through. You need to do what makes you happy. If that is staying with Edward, then fine, stay with him, but you need to choose what it is you want and not make decisions about your life for the sake of someone else. You cannot take the easy route because you feel guilty and you're afraid of hurting people; you've already hurt a lot of people, including me."

She paused to let her words sink in before continuing, "You are not that little girl taking care of your mother and father anymore. You're older, you're stronger and you can't sacrifice your happiness for anyone."

Bella turned over Alice's words in her mind and she could feel two parts of her fighting for purchase inside of her. Jasper had been trying to tell her the same thing, but she had clung to what she thought was right and that was saving her marriage. He had told her once that what was right wasn't always what you should do, but she couldn't convince herself that the alternative was what she should do either, as much as even now she longed for Jasper's presence.

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked suddenly, the idea finally settling in that Alice wanted her to choose Jasper.

"For you," Alice replied simply, though Bella could see the sorrow in her eyes. "But most of all for Jasper. It isn't easy for me to be here, but I care about him and he deserves better than this."

As if on cue, Alice's phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket swiftly and put it to her ear without greeting the person on the other end. Bella could hear the voice on the other end of the line and she knew immediately it was Jasper. Her throat constricted and her whole body stood at attention. She listened, savoring the sound of his voice, even though the words were not meant for her ears.

"Yes, I'll be there," Alice replied, watching Bella's face as she spoke. "No, it won't be a problem…Okay, I'll see you soon."

Alice hung up the phone and studied how Bella had reacted to the sound of Jasper's voice, the way her eyes blinked back invisible tears and her lip quivered. The old affection she felt towards the woman she considered her sister swelled up and she moved suddenly to hug her, aware of how strange it was to comfort the woman that had knowingly betrayed her.

"I know you love Edward, you probably always will," Alice whispered softly in Bella's ear. "But you love Jasper too, in a different way. Make the right decision, for everyone."

The heartbreak that had so wholly consumed Bella washed over her anew and she gripped Alice like a life raft. When she thought of what it meant to love Jasper she felt as if her anchor to the world was tenuous and that there was no way it would hold. She imagined herself drifting away from herself and from everyone she held dear.

With one final tender squeeze, Alice released her quickly, turning on her heels and heading for the door. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at her friend. "And Bella," she said, waiting for Bella's eyes to focus on her face. "Don't lie to yourself and say you can just forget Jasper. You can't. I don't know how anybody could."

She wondered if what she had said to her would be enough to change things back to the way she had foreseen. Looking into the future she saw Bella sitting with Edward, the same blank expression behind her eyes and she frowned. For a moment the vision flickered as if on the point of changing, but it remained as solid as ever.

A/N: Thanks again to all of the people that have been reviewing and putting my story on alert. Next chapter will be the last, I hope I can resolve the frustration some of you feel with Bella. :) Let me know what you thought about this chapter...I wrote it after a long hiatus from the beginning of the story.