Roger woke up on the hard stone floor of his nice little cave. He briefly wondered how he'd gotten on the floor, then remembered that Jack was with him and Jack had taken the bed, because he was Jack and he got the bed.
Roger sat up. His cave had changed drastically; the bed was gone, leaving Jack asleep on his stomach, stretched out across the floor. It was basically just a stone hole in a large rock. Oh, look, there was a tunnel.
Roger got up and walked over to where Jack slept. He watched the ginger sleep for a few moments, then poked him a few times to get him to wake up. "What," Jack muttered.
"Wake up," Roger said.
"Why."
"Because there's a mysterious tunnel and everything else in the room disappeared."
"Let me sleep."
"No."
Eventually, they ended up with Roger just carrying Jack as he half-slept, half-confessed that he actually loved some mainstream music, like One Direction and Hot Chelle Rae. But mostly just One Direction's faces. Roger didn't really care, because he had no idea who Hot Chelle Rae was and didn't give a fuck about One Direction's faces. He started to care a little bit when Jack started blasting One Direction from his iPod.
Roger then proceeded to take the iPod and smash it. Jack made a sound like a dying whale that was very reminiscent of the second chapter of this fanfiction when Mr. Flies had taken the iPod away. He probably would have complained more, but he was already half-asleep, so he just completely fell asleep and Roger had to readjust how he was carrying him so that he didn't fall.
Eventually, Roger got bored and started to hum songs by bands such as Five Finger Death Punch and Disturbed. He was halfway through 'Bad Company' by Five Finger Death Punch when Jack woke up. "What are you singing?"
"Nothing."
"What are you humming?" Jack rephrased his question and Roger turned red.
"Nothing."
"Was it something that you'd be embarrassed to say you liked?"
Roger thought for a little bit. "No. No, not really."
"Then stop avoiding the question."
They argued stupidly like this for a few more minutes, and then Roger realized that his arms felt like jelly and that Jack was awake, so he just dropped Jack. Jack landed not-so-gracefully on his hands and feet, like he was doing a sort of bridge.
"Let's keep going," Roger said, wondering what Maurice was doing at the moment.
At the moment, Maurice was strolling through a large, Wal-Mart type place dragging Simon along behind him (Simon being unconscious), looking all of the stories that he could decide to enter. There were two sections – fanfiction section and actual fiction section. He'd abandoned the 'fanfiction' section after seeing about thirty 'girl on the island' fanfictions (whatever 'the island' meant), and was now browsing original fiction.
"Hm…" Maurice said, picking up a large bar of chocolate. "I wonder what story this could represent!"
He turned it over and read the back. "The Chocolate War."
Maurice looked at Simon, who was beginning to twitch a little.
"Well, I like chocolate!" Maurice chirped. "And a war about chocolate sounds fantastic! Let's get this one!"
Unfortunately, he had to wait for Simon to wake up before they could head to this chocolate war world. It sounded like a fun world. Anything about wars and chocolate would be good.
He decided to find some water to dump over Simon's head to wake him up. He eventually found a large pitcher of what looked like thick red Kool-Aid instead, with the name "'Salem's Lot" on the bottom. But Maurice didn't look at the bottom, because if he did, then all of the lovely thick, red Kool-Aid would be spilled, and he needed to dump it on Simon to wake him up.
One problem.
As soon as he dumped the Kool-Aid on Simon's face, he disappeared. It was then that Maurice looked at the bottom of the pitcher.
"Oops," he said. "I think I just sent him into 'Salem's Lot. Whatever that is. Hey, I think I saw both of those miniseries! One of them has Rob Lowe in it!"
Maurice thought about Rob Lowe for a little bit, then realized what, exactly, 'Salem's Lot was about and that that 'red Kool-Aid' was actually probably blood.
"Oops."
"GET ON THE BUTTON."
"Never!" Eric said, running around while Sam stood on his button. They were both supposed to be standing on the Lego buttons so that their Lego companion could open up the back of the trunk. Eric then decided to kill Sam and collect all of his Lego money. "Hahahahaha!"
"I'm bored," Percival complained. He was currently painting a picture with melted Nutella. They'd melted the Nutella with the lighter that Robert had stolen from Ralph.
A little known fact about Robert was that he could steal things very easily because people rarely realized that he, in fact, did exist and was, in fact, stealing your wallet and/or lighter. (He'd almost gotten Jack's iPod, too, but Roger could apparently see him, and the last thing Robert wanted to deal with was an angry Roger.)
"Get over it," Robert snapped.
Robert was also very mean sometimes. Like in the situation in which he was forced to care for a stupid little kid who kept complaining that he was bored and wasted all the Nutella on his stupid pictures.
"This is you," Percival said. Robert looked at the drawing. The stick person in the drawing didn't have a head. "The beast ate your head."
"The beast?"
Percival nodded, looking up at him with large, mournful eyes. "The beast."
"Ralph," Bill said. Ralph looked at him. "I think I am majorly gay for you."
"Oh," Ralph said. He really was not sure how to react to this information. "I'm not sure how I feel about that."
"That's cool," Bill said. "Take your time."
"Okay."
Piggy realized that he rather liked this cemetery. It was a nice place. Despite, you know, dead bodies and being there with a cereal killer.
Did I say serial killer before? No, Piggy was with a cereal killer. A British cereal killer. He was currently on the trail of a box of Trix, because hunting Trix was not just for kids. Piggy had decided that he was going to be the cereal killer's apprentice, and perhaps dabble in hot breakfast killing as well.
It was his calling.
Merry Christmas! Unless you don't celebrate Christmas, then Happy Holidays! :)