Narcissus
By Frozzy
Chapter Ten
Konoha looked like its normal self.
Not that Sakura had expected anything else, really, but there was always that nagging worry that you would return to a shell of the place you had left behind. Sakura was glad to have this proved wrong time and time again, this time no different, even if the feeling was irrational and illogical.
After the first steps through the gate, their group split up and went in separate directions.
Itachi went off towards the eastern part of town. Possibly towards his home, wherever that was. Neji went directly for the training grounds and Shikamaru mumbled something about a family friend. There was no great heartfelt goodbye. Odds were that they would bump into each other within the next two days when they had to hand in their mission reports.
Sakura went in the direction of the Hokage Tower. She wanted to find Naruto, but there was always a better chance of him finding her first. She headed for the Hokage Tower and hoped for the best.
"Sakura?"
Sakura came to a halt and looked around, her eyes falling on the familiar shape of Kakashi.
"Kakashi," she said and cursed her luck. Good or bad, she didn't know. The older man was flanked by Genma and a second jonin whose name Sakura couldn't remember. He was one of Kakashi's more regular companions, and Sakura made a mental note to ask for the guy's name some other time. It felt wrong not to know it.
"Did you just return?" Kakashi asked, pleasant as ever.
"Yeah," Sakura said. "You haven't seen Naruto around anywhere, have you?"
"I'm happy to see you, too," Kakashi said.
"You haven't seen him?" Sakura asked again. With Naruto, there was a special sort of familiarity and consolation that no one else could provide for Sakura. Not her parents and not Kakashi. Sakura and Naruto were a package deal, and Sakura wasn't dumb enough to believe that this would also have been the case if Sasuke hadn't left the village those years ago. If Sasuke had stayed, Naruto would be a different person. Sakura herself would have been a different person.
"Did the mission go well?" Kakashi asked, ignoring her request for Naruto.
"Yes, it went fine. Nothing out of the ordinary," Sakura said.
"Come by my place later, Sakura," Kakashi said. Genma winked at Sakura and she resisted the urge to blow him a raspberry.
"I'll find you after I've met up with Naruto," she said.
And she would.
Right now, she needed Naruto to feel at home in her skin, a skin that had been stretched too tight for days upon days. Later, she would need Kakashi to give her advice.
She found Naruto south of the Hokage Tower.
It wasn't a part of town that he regularly visited. She had tried his apartment first, but that had been empty. Then she had resorted to asking people on the street. Konoha was big, yet Naruto's reputation was even bigger. Sakura found him within minutes of changing to this strategy. His blond mop of hair caught her attention amongst the majority of dark heads flocking the road, but Naruto had spotted Sakura's pink hair just as fast.
He raised a hand and waved her over.
"Sakura-chan!"
He stood by the side of the road where the traffic was lesser and quieter. Lee, bushy brows and green spandex, stood next to him. A third man, name unknown to Sakura, made up the last member of their group of three.
Sakura had never adjusted to the idea that Kakashi and Naruto had created a social circle in which she didn't know all the faces. In Kakashi's defense, his social circle was probably something that he had acquired prior to his friendship with Sakura. With Naruto it was different. He hadn't even had the resemblance of a social circle back in the day with Team Seven, and Sakura hated herself for begrudging him that now. Sakura also had a couple of close friends from the hospital that she had kept for herself. Blaming Naruto for the same was hypocritical.
"Sakura-chan!"
Naruto's second yell set Sakura's feet into action. She crossed the street and approached the group with a smile on her face. She nodded her head at Lee and the other man, but Naruto pulled her in for a hug. A manly hug. One that made her shoulders crack.
"When did you get back?" he asked and pulled back to get a proper look at her face. She knew the exact moment when he realized that something was wrong. It wasn't obvious. He didn't have a special tic that let Sakura know. But she knew. She just knew. She knew that he knew.
"Just now, actually," she said.
"Welcome home, Sakura-san. Did the mission go well?" Lee asked.
"Could have gone a lot worse," Sakura said and laughed, jumping into an anecdote of Neji that she knew Lee could relate to.
Fifteen minutes later, Naruto had managed to detach himself from Lee and the nameless man that Sakura now knew was Himura Nobu, Naruto's neighbor and recently promoted chunin. The two old friends had gone down to the stream nearby Sakura's place. Naruto kicked pebbles into the water and Sakura watched him do it while she worked up her courage.
"Itachi kissed me," she said.
"I knew it!" Naruto said. A flock of birds took off from the ground in a whirlwind of feathers. "I knew that the bastard would-"
"It was consensual, Naruto," Sakura said.
"I- wha? Consensus-what?"
Her use of a big word had been deliberate. Naruto's vocabulary tended to downgrade when he was upset. He wasn't stupid, not by far, but he always had a hard time thinking straight when he was upset. Sakura hadn't told him this yet. She misused the fact too often for her to tell him.
"I participated," she said. "I kissed him back, okay?"
"Why?"
She hated adult conversations with Naruto. Not because he was childish or immature. No, he had grown into adulthood quite nicely. The problem was that he knew Sakura too well. He knew her better than herself. And that was why she hated adult conversation with him. He saw straight through her, lies or no lies.
"I don't know," she said.
"Bullshit."
"All right, so maybe I do know why," she said. "Will this be a problem between us? I know you don't like him. Not that you have to. And not that I like him. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. What would-"
"Will it to continue?" Naruto asked and cut through her babble. "Will more happen between you two?"
"I don't know," Sakura said. "I don't know, Naruto."
They weren't kids anymore. Naruto wouldn't beam and smile at Sakura no matter what decisions she made in life. And with this decision in particular, Sakura knew that she was treading on unstable ground. As opposed to the days of their early friendship, Sakura didn't have Naruto's unconditional support in this matured form of their friendship. Neither did she want it.
"Then I don't know either," Naruto said with a grim face.
Sakura nodded, accepting the fact for what it was. Her chest felt dull and heavy. This looked out to be the biggest disagreement that the two of them would ever have. Save for the Sasuke disagreements that never failed to resurface whenever new clues about his whereabouts reached their ears. This time, however, Sakura admitted that she was to blame for the disagreement. If they could even call it a disagreement. Naruto didn't see Itachi the way that Sakura did. Sakura's perception of Itachi had changed. It couldn't be helped with the amount of time that she spent alone with the Uchiha. He wasn't as detached and apathetic as he first appeared. She didn't want Itachi for anything other than his supreme intellect and his impeccable looks, but she still didn't want to eliminate the opportunity for somethingmore. This was why she had told Naruto about the kiss. Because this feeling of wanting more had her scared shitless and she needed to tell someone about it, tell anyone about it.
"I'm sorry, Naruto," she said.
"Nah," he said. "I just can't imagine Itachi being less of a scary bastard than normal."
"I didn't say he is less of a scary bastard than normal," Sakura said. "He's still a scary bastard."
They sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes.
"You know," Naruto said. "Sai learned how to play the violin while you were gone."
"What?" Sakura asked. "How did- I was gone for a week."
"He's weird," Naruto said.
"You can't say that."
"What? He is weird," Naruto said again.
"Well, yeah, but that's not an explanation for how he learned to play the violin."
"You need an explanation?" Naruto asked.
"Maybe not," Sakura said. "It's probably the same as when he learned to play the piano."
Itachi wasn't visibly upset, but he exuded an aura of danger that would kill you if you stood too close.
"Uchiha-san-"
"No."
Within the soundproofed walls of the large conference room, the Council had grown irritated with Itachi.
"It is correct that my predecessors all married and produced children by the end of their twenty-fifth year," Itachi said. "But, unlike them, I have not been a Konoha citizen for that same amount of years and that nullifies clan protocol. I don't need to impregnate a woman within the next year, much less marry one."
Itachi was not a vengeful person by nature, but he would not bend on this matter. He had bended too much for these fat and old diplomats already. Fat, old and ignorant of the real world around them. The Council ought to show him more gratitude for taking Madara off their hands. Even if it had been Sasuke's job to eventually find out the truth about his parents' deaths and kill Madara, the Council ought to show Itachi more lenience for taking the job out of Sasuke's hands. His brother had been nowhere near figuring out the truth about his parents' deaths. He had been too hung up on Itachi. If Itachi hadn't stepped in and killed Madara himself, simultaneously informing Sasuke of the truth, the war would have gone on for ten years or more.
"Uchiha has a point," the Hokage said. "In his case, the proper solution would be to construct a new paragraph in clan protocol that accounts for his specific situation."
"A new paragraph? But, Hokage-sama, clan protocol is centuries old and its traditions have only served us well," a female member objected.
"Construct a new paragraph," Tsunade said again. "One that states that unless the subject itself finds a potential and willing spouse within the following six months, traditional clan protocol goes into effect and the spouse will be chosen by the Council within the timeframe of two weeks from that date onwards."
"It must be a legally binding proposal," another councilmember said.
"Potential spouse and a legally binding proposal," the Hokage agreed in a clipped voice, sending Itachi a look that clearly displayed the effort she was going through on his part. Itachi was no stranger to guilt, but he never took the guilt of others upon himself. Not like the Hokage was doing right now. She felt guilty for the fate of the Uchiha clan and this was her attempt to rectify that fate. She had passed this trait on to Sakura, Itachi thought. Sakura was alarmingly selfless. It was a fact which intimidated Itachi greatly. People were not meant to be selfless. They were egoistical and self-serving, answering only to themselves.
"So," Tsunade said to Itachi. "You have six months to decide on a spouse and engage in a legally binding proposal with the woman. I suggest you work hard. Otherwise the decision of your future wife and mother of your children goes to the Council. Is this agreeable?"
"Yes," Itachi said.
"Good," Tsunade said. She turned to the Council. "The meeting is officially over. You may all retreat to your own business. Not you, Uchiha. I want to have a word with you first."
When the door had closed behind the last councilmember, the Hokage dropped all formal pretenses.
"I am no fool, Uchiha," she began, her voice deadly in its calmness. "If you intend to pursue Sakura, you would do well to remember that the proposal must be consensual."
"I have not expressed any desire to pursue her."
"That's because you don't express," the Hokage said. "And if my deductive skills are anything to be proud of, which they indeed are, I am fairly certain that you are considering my apprentice as a potential spouse. I can't phantom why, given her history with your brother, but I advise you very strongly to pick another woman, despite how much she might appear as the logical choice from where you're standing."
Itachi didn't answer, knowing that the Hokage still hadn't arrived at her main point.
"I don't believe that Sakura will enter a consensual marriage with you," Tsunade said. "And if she does, I'll know that foul play has been involved. Unless she can convince me otherwise, of course, but Sakura is a very bad liar."
"I'll consider your advice," Itachi answered. "May I take my leave now?"
The Hokage studied him for a few seconds, probably trying to estimate his trustworthiness, though she hardly needed to. She knew with whom his loyalties lay.
"Yes. You may leave."
He had turned towards the exit when the blonde woman called out after him.
"One day you need to come clean to the public, Itachi. Also about your brother. Especially since you're so obviously going to disregard my words and go after Sakura, anyway."
"I don't know of my brother's whereabouts," Itachi said. "And I don't need to do anything."
The door closed behind him before Tsunade could answer.
Three days after her return to the village, Sakura's patience was worn thin.
More precisely, her patience with Itachi was worn thin.
It was like watching a constant rewind of those short seconds of a battle where you knew that the opponents would collide in a deadly blow, but there was still the slight hope that some force interfered and changed fate.
"I'm not enticingyou to do anything," she said.
"Is it standard procedure to straddle your patient?"
"I need the space in which to work," she answered. "And I'm not straddling you. It's called hovering. If you don't want me to hover, you need to damage your ears and not your eyes next time. Lie still. Don't be such a brat. What's wrong with you these days?"
He was prolonging the already long restorative procedure of his eyes and Sakura couldn't figure out if it was intentional or unintentional. Moreover, Uchiha Itachi didn't stall and much less did he engage in sexual innuendo.
"I might be able to create an antidote to the poison if I were to collect a sample of your blood," she said. "Then you can stop taking the drugs and get professional treatment. And you know I'm the one best suited for that job. Next to the Hokage, of course."
Weeks ago she would have taken a blow to the gut if she had spoken of Itachi's less-than-stellar health like this. But now, much further into their strange acquaintanceship, Itachi remained completely passive as Sakura ripped into the topic. He lay immobile on the bed and let her talk his ear off.
"What about the one who provides you with the medicine?" she asked. "Hasn't that person attempted a permanent antidote?"
"Her skills are not up to par with the potency of the poison," Itachi said.
"Her?"
Itachi turned his head in her direction. The white pillowcase grazed the shell of his ear and the line of his neck. Sakura considered sitting back down on the chair. She wasn't straddling him, not quite, but she also didn't need this much space to work in. She could use a little less.
"Yes," Itachi said. "Her."
He held her gaze for a few more seconds. Then he angled his head back to its former position in the center of the pillow. Sakura didn't return her hands to his face immediately. One part of her was afraid that Itachi might bite off her hand. Another part of her was afraid that she might smother the man with her palms in a spontaneous kill. Or something else.
"All right," Sakura said and cleared her throat. "I guess we'll negotiate."
"Why do you insist on this so badly?" Itachi asked.
"It will be off the record," Sakura said. "Like your eyes. And it'll be done with utmost discretion. I'm aware that you have no desire to advertise the state of your health, but that doesn't exclude accepting aid when someone offers it. I'm offering it. Whatever this poison is, it's something new and something unrecorded. I want to understand it."
"You have nothing that I want in return," Itachi answered, his attention mostly on the ceiling above the bed.
"A favor then?" Sakura said, her curiosity overruling any logical thinking.
A favor? She had more self-perseverance than that. At the moment, however, her eagerness to learn more about Itachi's predicament overshadowed any thought of such perseverance. Sakura was a sponge. She lived to soak up knowledge. That was her biggest weakness and now it was about to jump up and bite her in the ass like it had done so many times before this.
"A favor?" Itachi asked.
"Yes?" Sakura said. "I mean, yes. Yes, a favor."
"That's reasonable," Itachi said. "I will accept your offer on the terms that I can call in the favor at whatever time I prefer."
"Deal," Sakura said. "It would be helpful if you told me more about the poison. What you know of it and how it happened. Stuff like that."
"You said you wanted to examine my condition. Not that I had to give up information on it."
"I will need a blood sample. At the very least."
"You will get that," Itachi said.
Sakura resumed her work on his eyes.
"I came up with an answer," she said after a long pause.
One of Itachi's eyelid drifted open. "Yes?"
"To why you kissed me," she said. It was necessary, she told herself. She needed to address this issue before it turned her mad. Flashes of the encounter were painted to the back of her eyelids, confronting her whenever she closed her eyes for too long. It wouldn't do. It couldn't do. She needed to clarify, to reason and excuse, if only for her own sake.
"I already gave you my answer before," Itachi said.
"Adrenaline," Sakura said. "We were both running on-"
Itachi sat up so quickly that Sakura sucked in a great gulp of air and felt her heart lodge in her throat.
"It is beyond my understanding why you would bring up this subject a second time, when I have already given you my answer days ago. Am I to think that your drunken mind has forgotten what I made clear that night?"
"No. That's not- no. No."
"Then repeat my answer from that day and you will find that adrenaline had little to do with my course of action," Itachi said. His voice was cold, but not with hostility. It was something else that Sakura couldn't decipher. But she could easily decipher the rising feeling inside herself.
Anger.
Anger so hot that tiny flashes of silver appeared before her eyes. Anger was safe. Anger was familiar. She grasped it in a tight hold, a protective shield against any exterior forces.
"It is beyond my understanding why you would kiss me without any ulterior motive given your criminal history," she said and threw his own words back in his face.
"Do not bait me."
"Oh?" she said, not without a short burst of laughter. "Or, what, you'll snap my neck? Just after I offered to save your sorry ass from dying. A bit ungrateful, don't you think?"
"You forget your boundaries," Itachi said.
"Screw boundaries," Sakura said and her uncharacteristic use of foul language sounded grotesque even to her own ears. "They sure weren't at the forefront of your mind when you violated me with your-"
"Silence."
"Silence?" Sakura asked. "Am I a dog now? Because then I want a collar with my name glued on it in rhineston-"
"Shut up."
Her mouth clamped shut, silenced by the intensity of Itachi's demand. She recognized that intensity. It was the same intensity as the day of the kiss. That day in the underground tunnels of Hayashi's brothel, a place that now lay just as bare and eroded as Sakura felt in this exact moment. Bare, eroded and exposed. And vulnerable.
"Adrenaline is the answer," she said in a voice that shook with effort.
"No," Itachi said and lay back down on the bed. "It's not."
When she ended the session ten minutes later, she forgot to take the blood sample. Itachi rushed out before she had the chance to. She didn't blame him. She wouldn't want to poke herself with a needle right now, so why should she be allowed to poke others?