CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE PRECARIOUS PARTY

"Let's play a game," said Terra to the three girls, trying her best to be as silly as they. "Let's not tell anyone our real names. Let's introduce ourselves—and introduce each other—with made-up names!"

"Okay!" agreed the giggly girls.

Terra tapped her finger on her cheek, cocked her head, and said, "I know. You can call me Elle Cole. What will your names be?" While the girls consulted amongst themselves, Terra nervously looked around the room. It was a large, high-ceilinged room with many tables and chairs, packed full with a crowd of men and women, soldiers, dancers, singers, and servers. There was a constant roar of talk and laughter, eating and drinking, musicians and dancers singing and dancing on stage, and little pockets of debauchery in which men were getting drunk and women were laughing and flirting and throwing off all vestiges of modesty.

They were sitting at a table which was, Terra felt, uncomfortably exposed to view, drinking wine (which didn't help Terra's cough), while the girls made up their pseudonyms. One unforeseen consequence was that the girls thought that introducing each other was part of the game, and they were now even more excited about socializing and "being seen." They insisted on it, though all Terra wanted was to sit unnoticed. They took her reluctance as shyness or glumness, and so felt it incumbent upon themselves to cheer her up by (of course) introducing her to as many people as possible.

"This is Ter—I mean, Elle," said the girl in the blue dress with a wink that infuriated Terra.

"How do you do, Elle?" said the imperial officer to whom she had been introduced, kissing her hand like a gentleman before introducing himself by his name and rank. They were standing in a crowd so dense that it was almost shoulder-to-shoulder.

"Oh!" squealed Teal Dress, "There's General Leo! He's so hot. I'm so jealous of you, Ter—Elle."

Terra gave her a withering look, passing it off as annoyance that they were spoiling the game. Terra cursed their stupidity. How hard was it to remember a name?

"Why jealous?" said Terra.

"Because he's in love with you, silly! I don't understand why you two never...but you were always such a prude. I'm going to call him over here."

Terra grabbed Teal's arm just as she was about to do it. At the same time the man she had been referring to, General Leo, the man who more than anyone must not see her, turned in her direction. Instantly Terra turned away and coughed into her hand.

"Ow! Terra, let go! You're hurting my arm!" Teal cried.

She cringed and let go as her real name was shouted. But thankfully, no one heard it over the constant roar, and (when she dared to glance over her shoulder) General Leo had not seen her. Terra gently took Teal aside and whispered in her ear:

"I'm sorry I hurt your arm, but you can't say my real name, remember? It's no fun if you don't follow the rules."

Teal rubbed her arm and whimpered, "I'm sorry, okay!"

"And we can't call General Leo over here, you silly girl. He knows my real name. It'd spoil everything!"

"I don't like this game anymore," Teal whined.

Terra matched her whininess and stomped her foot like an obstinate child (inwardly ashamed of herself).

"It's my game and I want to play it!" Terra sulked. "You're no fun. You're not a wet blanket, are you?" That did it. Teal seemed to take up the game again with renewed vigor, though not without (Terra didn't fail to notice) some hidden resentment. But what did that matter?

Terra had another coughing fit, this time a real one, just as the other girls and the officer to whom she had been introduced before (whose name was Pierre), found them again.

"That's a nasty cough," said Pierre magnanimously, as was his manner. "Can I get you a glass of water?"

"Yes, thank you." She smiled as best she could. She was growing more nervous all the time, for she had no idea which of these people she used to know. "Pierre, I'll go with you," Terra said, slipping her arm into his and giving him a flirtatious smile, much to the delight of Red, Teal, and Blue, who shot her approving looks. So Terra went off with Pierre, who looked honored to escort her. He held his head up importantly, with an air of self-confidence which was as much to his credit as to his discredit. Here was a man, Terra thought, who took pride in his rank, though not to the point of haughtiness.

"Let's sit down here; a waiter can bring me water," Terra said, indicating an empty table in a shadowy corner, perfect for seeing the rest of the room without being seen herself, and perfect, incidentally, for two to have a romantic tête-à-tête. And that was exactly what Pierre assumed this seemingly impetuous withdrawal from the party to be.

While Pierre talked and Terra listened distractedly, she looked over his shoulder at the party, and felt a wave of relief at no longer needing to be constantly on the alert. For the first time in a long time, weary of the constant burden of secrecy, she wondered whether or not it was all worth it, whether in fact in would not be better simply to give herself up. This might have seemed foolish to one who could look on with detachment, but Terra, who for almost as long as she could remember was on the run from a daunting and invisible force, and whose lot had consisted of nothing but physical and psychological strain, was soothing her mental exhaustion with hopes of freedom—a freedom, I'm sorry to say, which was still a long way off.

What perhaps contributed most to her thoughts was a feeling of abandonment by Locke and Edgar and, strangely, Arvis, who had been taken out of her life so abruptly, and with whom she felt that her safe, happy life had been only a fleeting breath. She now almost wished that he had never told her her name, or that she were deathly ill so that Arvis could nurse her back to health with his gentle, paternal hands and his beautifully scarred face. Terra might have gotten teary-eyed at this.

Another thing that made Terra wonder whether or not she should go back to the Empire was General Leo, whom she watched over Pierre's shoulder. It's amazing what you can learn about a person by watching him from a distance. Terra observed by the way that he carried himself that General Leo was a confident, strong man but not egotistical like so many others; by the way that he introduced himself to women, that he was a gentleman without ulterior motives; by the way he looked at men of various ranks and quality of clothing, that he treated all men equally; and by the way he occasionally glanced towards the door that his heart was somewhere else—or with someone else, perhaps with her. After all, didn't that girl say that General Leo was in love with her? Was he thinking of her at this very moment, wondering whether she was dead or (in his mind, worse) the prisoner of the Returners? She felt her own heart go out to him, with pity, though not necessarily with love.

She was brought back from her reverie by Pierre. "I can see that your mind is somewhere else, Ms. Cole. Or is it Mrs. Cole?" he said magnanimously, as if he had put his finger on some mystery, and in his generosity was ready to forgive her from the depths of his heart for belonging to someone else.

"Uh, Mrs. Cole," said Terra. "And I'm terribly sorry if I gave you the wrong impression..."

"Quite all right," said Pierre, though unable to hide some trace of disappointment. An awkward silence followed in which both of them looked at the table. When she looked up again, she saw over his shoulder something that made her heart quail and jump into her throat.

Teal, white as a ghost, was being questioned by two uniformed soldiers. She pointed in Terra's direction.

Pierre, fairly drunk already, but seeming to drink away the present awkwardness, took a long drink of his wine and said, "I'm confused. Is it Terra or Elle? Your friend said both. That reminds me, have you heard of this Witch everyone is talking about?"

"It's...uh..." said Terra distractedly, seeing the two soldiers leave the astonished and frightened girls and make their way through the crowd towards her, though they didn't seem to have seen her yet.

Now was the moment of decision. Stay and be caught or flee? Both paths led to equally uncertain futures.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," said Pierre. "Is it Terra or Elle?"

"Exactly," Terra thought frantically, "is it Terra or Elle? I must make a choice...once for all...right now!"