Notes: See, I told you I would have another chapter up very soon!
Disclaimer: All rights to Harry Potter go to JK Rowling, though of course this parody is so loosely related to any of the actual goodness of Harry Potter! But it is fun anyway!
Chapter 11
Filch, Flies, and Frenemies
(11:15am)
Conversation in the First Floor Corridor
Collin: Hey Ginny Wait up!
Ginny: Oh what's up C-masta?
Collin: I was just outside by the lake and I saw the strangest thing! Also… don't call me C-masta…
Ginny: Sorry I was with Dean for too long. So what did you see?
Collin: Well, Harry came out of Hagrid's hut, so I was thinking of heading over to ask him to sign an autograph for my brother, you know, I never really got one 3 years ago, and I'm telling you, he is going to get even more famous! Those will be worth something crazy some day and—
Ginny: Collin! The point!
Collin: Right, right. Well, before I could get over there a dark shape darted out of the shadows screaming weirdly and pulled Harry off into the forbidden forest.
Ginny: And you didn't go after him!?
Collin: Well, sure that seems like the best idea now…
(2:00pm)
Hospital Wing
Ginny's Diary
I don't even know where to begin.
(2:02pm)
So many things. Questions answered… but… just so many more now.
(2:04pm)
Well I guess I will just tell you everything. So after Collin told me what he had seen (again, no idea why he told me instead of doing something useful himself), I ran off into the forest.
Thinking back, that probably wasn't the best plan either. I should have though that through a little more… very reckless to just run off into the forbidden forest with no idea where I was going…
Luckily it all worked out… kinda…
OK So I heard some noises a little ways into the trees. I followed them and ended up finding…
a) Hermione and Ron SNOGGING!
b) Hagrid madly chasing after CROOKSHANKS!
c) Neville tied to a tree and some centaurs chanting around a fire!
Hmm… you know I meant that to be a sarcastic, obvious list, but really all of those options are equally weird. It was in fact, option C!
Apparently, weeks ago Neville found this beautiful decorative flower pot somewhere, and it was the perfect size for one of his plants or something… I don't know… to me it was just a pot, but to Neville it was a BIG DEAL.
Anyway, he took this pot, but later found out that it belonged to Filch! So he has been hiding out in the forbidden forest as much as possible for the last few weeks to avoid Filch.
He had built this beautiful garden area in the forest so he could be with his plants alone, but then today he saw Filch coming near the forest (or at least that's his story), so he freaked out. He knew he needed to hide his garden, but of course he isn't the best at spells, so he dashed out of the trees like a crazed man, hiding himself in his cloak, and grabbed the first person he saw, Harry.
But when Neville dragged Harry back to his plants, they came across some rowdy centaurs stomping around the garden. Well, Neville started screaming like a madman and the centaurs tied Harry and Neville to some trees to try and stop the noise.
That was when I found them.
Lucky for them, my sweet talking got us all away from the centaurs.
(2:08pm)
Because I am the best, obviously.
(2:09pm)
Unfortunately, Neville tripped over this huge root and twisted his ankle on the way out of the forest. So Harry and I had to carry him all the way up here. Only to find out that Madame Pomfrey was out, so we have to wait for her to get back.
(2:10pm)
At least the flowered pot was destroyed so Filch can't come after Neville. So that's probably for the best.
(2:12pm)
On the other hand, Harry has been acting weird too. He hasn't let go of that journal of his since I found him in the forest. This has been the strangest day so far…
(2:14pm)
I hope Hermione's Day has been going better than this…
(2:15pm)
Meanwhile In Hogsmeade
Hermione's Journal
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO PIECES!
-Reasons Why This Has Been the Worst Date Ever-
1) Nothing is going the way I wanted it to!
2) Even though I spent HOURS picking out the perfect outfit to wear!
3) Ron made absolutely no plans for our date
4) We ended up at Madame Puddyfoot's of all places
5) I was super tired from those stupid birds this morning
6) Ron insisted on ordering my food and accidentally got me something with walnuts
7) Turns out I am allergic to walnuts
8) My face swelled up
9) Madame Pomfrey was in the Hogshead
10) We went to the Hogshead
11) A fly kept zipping around my face
12) Ron tried swatting it away and hit me
13) On my swollen cheek
14) So that is just great…
(2:20pm)
The Backroom of the Hogshead with Hermione and Madame Pomfrey
A Napkin that Ron took from the bar
I am the worst boyfriend ever.
I should be shut away.
I should be shut away and left to eat gross food for the rest of my miserable life.
(2:22pm)
Like liver and pickled beets or something
(2:23pm)
And absolutely no chicken at all.
(2:24pm)
I love chicken.
(3:45pm)
Outside the Hospital Wing
Harry's Journal
Whew! Madame Pomfrey finally came back from wherever she had been so I got to leave that dreaded place. I swear I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL WING AGAIN. I mean it this time!
It was weird though. She came back supporting Hermione who was all puffy. Ron was following close behind holding a chicken leg with a look on his face like it would be the last one he would ever get to eat.
I had to get out of there though! No time to find out what was going on with them. I had to run away so I could write again.
(3:46pm)
Which of course I couldn't do while Ginny was staring at me.
(3:47pm)
No one likes a guy who writes down all their feelings.
(3:48pm)
But I need to tell someone how I feel! And not Ron because he is useless at helping me with this kind of thing. Plus it regards his sister.
(3:49pm)
And Hermione would just laugh and give me some kind of rant about how Ginny just broke up with Dean and probably needed time.
(3:50pm)
Dean… I mean really. Does that buttwipe even count!? I think not!
(3:53pm)
Let's see… who can I talk to…
(3:54pm)
Who is weird enough that they wont judge me for my feelings.
Preferably someone who has been out of the loop for a while now.
(3:55pm)
Hmmmm...
(3:56pm)
AH! LUNA! Perfect!
(6:00pm)
Great Hall – Dinner
Ginny's Diary
This is not okay. Harry keeps walking over to the Ravenclaw table. He keeps talking to LUNA! And smiling and whispering and being all gross.
I WANT HIM TO BE GROSS WITH ME!
Well… you know what I mean.
But LUNA.
She's supposed to be my friend!
Ok calm down. Maybe it is nothing…
I should probably just be happy for them…
(6:05pm)
Oh who am I kidding! Friend or not, this war is on!
End Notes: There's another pretty long one for you guys! I hope any new readers who have found this story are enjoying it! Feel free to drop a little review!