This is My Wish

Chapter Eleven – Tools and Hammocks

Edward

The day started with smiles and laughter, and almost ended in tears. Somehow, with an ease I hadn't known I was capable of, I brought two people who hurt at a level so deep, to a place where they could forget.

Even for just an afternoon.

Despite the tension that arose at the game store, we left that parking lot in high spirits. Laughter and music filled the interior of the car as I drove to our next destination. I looked over to Bella, to find her smiling. I felt the hope that fled me so long ago, light anew. She had no idea the level of love I still had for her, even after all the time we'd been apart.

My cell phone buzzed in my pocket, indicating a text. At the next stoplight, I pulled out my phone long enough to see that it was from Jane. A reminder for the shoot I had the following day. It fucking sucked, because I wanted to devote all my time to the two people with me at that moment.

I hadn't felt that good in a long time; it even felt better than when I went on stage to collect my first, and only, People's Choice Award. Hell, even the Oscar. I shook my head, dispelling those thoughts. I hadn't been working in films at that level in over a year and my future held few project prospects.

Not that any of that shit mattered anymore. I wanted to write, maybe even work on a documentary idea I'd had for years, since my aunt died. It was then that I noticed that Bella had gone unusually quiet. Her eyes were on the scenery outside her window, whirling by as I drove.

"Bella?" I said, pulling into an IHOP parking lot. Not my choice. That was all Riley's doing. The kid loved breakfast, morning, noon and night. Once I parked, I took her hand, so small in my own. "Baby?"

"Jessica, Brittney's mom called," she whispered, her eyes still gazing out the window. The words were so soft, the pain so evident in every syllable. "We need to see her tomorrow, Ri."

"How long, momma?" he asked from the backseat.

"A couple of weeks at most." Oh God. Had she been pretending in the parking lot? Fuck, I didn't want that. "I should've told you this morning, but I didn't want to ruin our day." She sniffled, wiping at the tears that fell down her cheeks.

Riley climbed into the front seat and into her lap, her arms wrapped around him instantly. A sigh fell from her lips as she nuzzled his cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Averting my eyes, I climbed out of the car and went to Bella's door. Careful to open it, I knelt beside them to offer something. I didn't know what, just that I wanted to let them know I was there for them. An outstretched hand reached for mine—Bella's.

Holding it in mine, I reached for some tissues in the glove department. Her watery eyes watched my every move, as her son clung to her, his face hidden against the crook of her neck. Tissue in hand, I swept it over the tears from her eyes. The corners of her mouth lifted into a small smile. Riley stirred and turned to look at me, and for a moment, I saw the little boy I'd seen years ago. He'd been a happy little boy with sad eyes. Back then, he grieved for his mother, the suffering she had endured during his illness.

In that moment, he grieved for the friend he would soon lose.

~oOo~

After I carried Riley inside the restaurant, Bella turned to me in alarm. "Your beanie!" Shit! I made a run for the bathroom. Inside, I found my hat stuck in the hood of my jacket, grumbling as I pulled it back on.

Fuck. I hated this shit. To have to hide while I went out with the two people I loved the most. A person couldn't help but love that sweet little boy. And there was no doubt in mind that I loved Bella before I had left her. Even when are relationship hung in the balance, I knew I loved her so damn much.

However, I knew where her attention should be, and that was on Riley. I could be patient, and I would be there for her, for Riley and for myself.

~oOo~

"You know the Ray Bans are a nice touch," Bella whispered, not looking at me. I smirked at her teasing tone and cocked an eyebrow in question. "I can't tell what you're looking at." She giggled and Riley rolled his eyes at us from across the booth.

"What do you think he's staring at?" Riley asked, shaking his head in mock disgust. "He's been at it all morning. It's gross." He proceeded to cross his eyes, pretending to be me, making kissy faces toward his mother.

Bella shifted beside me, blushing. Unable to help myself, I lay my head on her shoulder and smiled up at her, puckering my lips. She tried to ignore me, but it didn't seem to be working. I felt her shoulders shake as she tried to hold in her laughter.

"May I have a kiss, my sweet?" She shook her head as she tortured her bottom lip, scanning the restaurant. Turning, she gave me a pretty smile and pressed her lips on mine. A quick peck, enough to satisfy and totally gross out her son.

"Ugh!" he said, tossing his napkin on the table. "I'm going to the bathroom." Bella gave him a look that had Riley smiling sheepishly. "May I please be excused?" She nodded, smiling at him.

Once he was gone, I turned to watch Bella. Earlier, when she'd taken my hand to pull me in beside her, it left me speechless. The telltale blush after, indicated she knew how I would interpret the gesture. Slowly, perhaps cautious, I raised my fingers to her shoulder. Her top had slipped off, invitingly so, and I was unable to resist touching her.

As if she could see me from the corner of her eyes, her chest rose and fell rapidly. Skin met skin. A sharp inhale and exhale left her, eyes on the fingers that lovingly touched her fair skin. Her eyes lifted to meet mine, a smile twitched into place slowly.

She laughed that laugh she'd done time and time again, a nervous one. "You can't do that," she said, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow. "Leave me breathless and wanting."

My forefinger and thumb brushed against her collarbone, along her neck and back down again. "Do you want?"

That time, a shuddering breath left her, lashes fluttered closed over the windows I'd used to decipher her nuisances. Yet, I read her easily, because her body sent all the signals. "Yes," she gasped as my fingers once again chanced another circuit along her skin.

Goosebumps rose over flushed skin. So fucking beautiful, but I knew I couldn't push. With a reluctant sigh, my hand fell to my side. "Thank you for allowing me to be here," I said. I heard her huff angrily beside me.

I grimaced, she misinterpreted my actions. "You also can't do that," she said in a harsh whisper. "Don't dismiss me so fucking easily."

I shook my head, making sure no one could overhear us. "It's hardly the time to discuss matters of the heart."

"Oh boy," she said, cursing under her breath. "You just fucking quoted one of your characters."

Shit! "It wasn't intentional, I assure you," I whispered, taking her hand in mine. "It's just… hard to not touch you. I thought it'd be best that we'd wait until we were alone."

"You were always so capable of charming me to do what you wanted." She tugged her hand from mine, turning to face me fully. "I can't allow you do that again. You really hurt me, Edward."

I nodded. "I know." Once again, unable to resist, I touched her shoulder. "I can't make any promises, but one."

She shook her head. "I don't want another promise you can't keep." I closed my eyes, remembering the promise I made to her that night.

"Please don't hurt me," she whispered, as her breath ran along my neck. I held her close, enough to feel the raising staccato of her heart against my chest.

"I could never hurt you," I replied. I kissed her lips once, waiting for her to deny me as she had many times before. Delicate fingers ran along the nape of my neck and pulled me toward her. "I promise."

"Make love to me," she murmured, trembling as I kissed her again.

I opened to find her eyes wide and concerned. Her tormented bottom lip, reddened by teeth that ruthlessly bit it. To torture myself— maybe her, too— I slid my fingers along her collarbone. Another sigh, this time from me, I cupped her cheek. My thumb released her lip and reveled in its softness.

"This is promise I'd never break."

Her eyes fell to my lips; her mouth parted once, an invitation. I leaned closer and felt the question and her breath on my lips. "What promise is that?" Maple syrup and cinnamon overwhelmed my senses, my lips inching ever closer to where I wanted to be.

Fuck. We could get caught, not only by Riley but by the media. And it was hardly the time for them to be exposed. But I told myself and her that I'd be honest. I never allowed myself to be in such a vulnerable position since everything that happened with Heidi. Worse yet, Bella could really destroy me. Break me so fully that I'd never be able to recover from the heartache.

I pressed my lips against the corner of her decadent mouth. "I promise that no matter what happens, I will always love Riley…" I pulled back to see her eyes tear up. "And you."

Her gasp acknowledged her surprise. However, before she could respond, Riley slipped into the booth, seemingly unaware of what he interrupted, as it should be. I gave him a smile. "You done, kid?" He nodded, but his eyes were on his mother.

I chose not to look at her, maybe I freaked her out. I wasn't sure, but I had no idea what I'd find on her face. Her love for me? I could only hope, however, I told myself I wouldn't push her.

"Ma! Earth to mommy, mother, madre." Riley giggled as he waved his hands in front of Bella's face. She snapped out of it and caught the eye of a waitress, asking for the check.

~oOo~

Ten minutes later, we were looking questionably at some wall patches. "Those aren't big enough," Riley said beside me. I looked down at him and rubbed the back of his neck. "You have big hands. I think that's the size we need." He pointed at a four by four yellow mesh patch.

"Probably," I said. I asked him to grab it, looking down the aisle for Bella. She disappeared the moment we stepped into the store, only indicating something about the tool section. "Here you take these." I handed him what I had in my hands. "I need to take a tub of mud."

"We need one of those trowel thingies," he said. "And one of those."

I gave him a smile and grabbed the items. "How do you know so much about this stuff?"

He shrugged. "My grandpa had to fix a hole like the one you made." When I turned to him with a questioning glance, he sighed. "There was some guy my mom dated for a while. It didn't work out, and he didn't understand that."

"Did you meet him?" I had no idea why was asking, because it wasn't my business. Did I really expect her to have not dated while I fucked around? Fuck, the idea hurt like a bitch. I couldn't imagine what she felt when I made the damn headlines with my antics.

Riley shook his head and pulled on my shirt. I squatted in front of him so that I was eye level. "It was only a couple of dates. She came home one time upset, he came in after her."

Fucking hell. "Grandpa was watching me, stopped him from hurting my mom." His eyes filled with tears. "After that, she never went out on a date again."

"You know I didn't hit the wall because I was angry at her, right?" He shrugged and refused to meet my eyes. "There were things that happened after I left, things I didn't know. It hurt to hear about them. I swear to you, I would never raise a hand to your mother." He nodded as I pulled him to me.

"Hey," Bella said as she approached us. In her hands, she had a tool belt for me and a junior tool belt for Riley. "I thought it would be nice to have these handy." She smiled, but it fell when she saw the tears in Riley's eyes.

I mouthed, "Man stuff."

She nodded and smiled gently. "I might as well get you two to put up my laundry room shelves while you're at it."

I grinned. "We're your guys," I said as I rose to my feet.

Bella cocked her head to one side and said, "That you two are." Riley laughed and shook his head. He took my hand and squeezed it four times. I smiled and answered his question. "Are you trying to break Riley's fingers?" she asked jokingly.

"Nope, it's a guy thing," I replied, taking the things in her hands. "Ready?" She shook her head and started to list various things we needed, including a cordless drill and hammer.

"Of course, we'll need to get you something for pain," she said with a snort.

"And why is that?" I asked, pushing the cart down the row with Riley hitching a ride on the front.

"You're bound to hurt yourself." She smiled mischievously innocent. Something that shouldn't be possible, but somehow, the woman could pull it off with ease.

"Hey," Riley said, clearing his throat to get our attention. "Can we get a hammock? I've always wanted one of those?" Bella gave me a smile and gestured for me to answer Riley.

"Sure thing." I looked around the vast store. "Not sure where we'd find one. It has to be big enough for the both of us, too."

Riley jumped off the cart, grabbed hold of my hand and tugged me toward another section of the store. "I know where. And it's really big. All three of us can take a nap on it, since I'm small."

I pulled him up and onto my back. "Show me the way," I said, laughing as his arms wrapped around my shoulders. "Hold on tight." I faked a cough when his hands tightened a bit, earning a chuckle from him.

"Look, Mom," Riley said excitedly. "I'm like a Spider Monkey. You know that ones we saw on Discovery last week with the cute but weird faces."

"Mr. Cullen?" I heard someone ask from somewhere behind me. Years of training myself not to react to my name, I continued to walk as if I hadn't heard anything. "Edward Cullen." This time said a little louder, firmer, harsher. Fuck.

Bella giggled. "Honey," she stage-whispered, walking beside me. "I think someone else has mistaken you for that gay actor again."

I snorted and gave her lethal look. "Sorry, love," I said in a British accent as I gave the woman who called me a smile.

"Who's Edward Cullen, Dad?" Riley asked, playing along. Bella giggled at whatever faces Riley made. "Is he the one in that gross movie Mom loved?"

Smiling, I turned to see Bella's cheeks tinge pink. "Yes," I said smugly. "I think that would be the guy." The lady gave us an embarrassed apology and left. Thank fuck. As if I needed any more trouble.

That was the problem. Riley and Bella's plight would no doubt clean up my image more, but I wasn't interested in using them like that. Or as Jane so kindly reminded me that morning, they could make it worse. The media could choose to play another angle and make me look like a bigger asshole.

It was for the best to keep our relationship under wraps for a while longer. That was until the charity game on Sunday. I knew I needed to discuss it further with Bella later, after Riley went to bed.

When fingers slipped into my free hand, all my musings came to a standstill. Without looking at Bella, I tightened my hold on her hand and didn't let go until we left the store as a family.

~oOo~

When we returned to Bella's house, she put Riley and me straight to work. She set up a video camera to record us working while she prepared for a cookout. Riley looked up at me with a questioning look. "You know what you're doing, right?"

"I think so," I said as I handed him a pair of safety glasses. "You better put these on." He nodded and slipped them on. I tried not to laugh, considering how the stems made his ears pop out further. He rolled his eyes and popped in his head into the kitchen to call out to Bella.

"Mom!" She turned to face him from the kitchen sink and smiled. "How do I look?"

"You look like my little handy man," she said, placing a hand on hip. "One that I'm paying hourly, get to work."

Riley laughed and shook his head. "You're not paying us." He turned to me and patted my arm. "We're doing this because we love you."

I rubbed my hand over his head. "Yeah, what he said."

She laughed, blushed and mumbled, "Thank you."

Two patch kits, one white-goo'ed little boy, and a lot of laughing later, the hole in the wall was no longer. In its place was a little boy's handprint and the date. Riley stood back to admire our work and asked his mother for her opinion.

"I think it's missing something," she said thoughtfully. She pressed her thumbprint at an angle in the middle of Riley's palm on the wall. Taking my hand in hers, she placed my thumb against the sticky mess, creating a heart.

"Yup," Riley said. "That's all it needed." He looked up at her. "You'll never cover it, will you?" Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head.

"Never," she whispered. Riley excused himself to go bathroom, leaving Bella and me alone in the silence he had left behind. "Thank you." She turned and laid her head on my chest, allowing the chance to offer some support again. "Thank you."

My arms held her impossibly closer as I pressed my lips against her temple. "I'm where I want to be. There's no reason to thank me, love." I felt her nod, her tears and the warmth of her mouth against my skin. "Bella." My fingers clutched tightly around her, curling around her hips. That time, I felt her giggle.

"What's so funny now?" I asked, confused by the sound of her laughter at a time like that.

She did that cute-I-don't-snort snort thing. "You were always an ass man." I choked on retort when it was then that I realized that my hands were indeed on her butt. Oops. It was good to know that despite what she was going through, she still wanted to live life to the fullest. It was also good that she didn't seem to mind.

Running footsteps had us reluctantly pulling apart. Riley ran toward the patio doors. "It's time to put up the hammock." I chuckled as he almost ran into very clean glass door, calling out for me.

"I better go," I said to Bella. She waited for me to say something, so I shrugged. "What? I'm a man." She laughed and pushed me outside, tapping my ass. Well shit, if that wasn't encouraging.

An hour, lots of cursing, twenty fucking dollars in the swear jar, and a bruised thumb later, the hammock was up between two big trees. As Riley ran into the house to grab a book, I watched as Bella moved around the patio dining table and grill. My girl knew how to barbeque, and she needed no man to show her how it was done.

"Stop staring," she grumbled as she placed some chicken on the grill.

"Can't help it."

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Liar."

I shook my head, tried to get up and ended up flat on my face. Fucking hammock. I heard her and Riley laughing, and once I untangled myself from the damn thing, I ran toward them both. Growling, I threw Bella over my shoulder, earning a cute little squeak and chased after Riley. When I couldn't catch up to him, I threw Bella in the hammock and grabbed him as he passed.

Screaming, Riley and I tumbled onto the swinging hammock. Out of breath, I handed the book to Bella. "I'm tired," I said. She smacked my chest, calling me an asshole. That cost a dollar. "Read to me, woman," I grunted. Riley giggled and climbed onto my chest.

My hand ran up and down his back, while the other sat comfortably on Bella's shoulder. She shifted until her head to lay back into the crook of my arm. "Where should I start, Ri?" she asked.

"From the beginning," he replied.

Bella pressed her lips once on my hand, and read. "There was once a little boy lost…"

Sometime later, I awoke to Riley asleep beside me and Bella tending to the grill. I watched unabashedly, the grace of her walk, her movements unmatched by anyone. "You're staring at me again."

"You're beautiful," I said softly, not wanting to interrupt the intimacy of the moment. For a few minutes, she didn't say anything. When she turned off the grill, she turned to watch me. I smiled. "You're staring." I recognized the look in her eyes, a deep longing, telling me everything I wanted could be possible. I both loved and feared what it meant.

Fear because I wasn't sure if she'd still want me after Riley was gone. However, I needed to trust my gut and go with it.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Will you stay?"

My breath caught, and numbly, I nodded.

"How long?" Her eyes were wide, the same fear I had in them.

"I'll stay until you tell me to go, love." Please don't make me go. Let me stay with you.

Her eyes closed before she replied. "I don't think I'd be able to let you go again."

"Then don't."