~Batmobile~
"You sure this is safe?" Wally asked, as the Batmobile sped down a country road.
"I learned to drive in this car," Nightwing said. "We'll be fine."
Wally was too busy trying to wrap his head around the sheer awesomeness of learning to drive in the Batmobile to respond. Then he saw the huge panel of buttons in front of him and was seized by the urge to push every single one of them to figure out what they did.
He tried the orange one first.
Electricity crackled across the body of the car.
"Jesus!" Nightwing exclaimed, and slapped Wally's hand away from the panel. "One of those will call him you know. I'd prefer to have some fun and not get killed for it."
"Right." Wally relaxed for a second, which was about as long as he could stand to stay relaxed. He started bouncing in the seat. The Gotham lights flashed past through the tinted windows. "What do you think we should do first? Go catch somebody? Take it out to the flats and see how fast it goes? Go through the McDonald's drive-thru and get burgers?"
He and Nightwing looked at each other and burst into laughter. Wally could just see the poor fry cook pissing his pants when he saw the god-freakin' Batmobile coming through for an order of two burgers and Cokes.
"I say we try the speed." Nightwing's eyes were glinting behind the mask. Wally thought this might be what he looked like back when he was up on the trapeze—brilliant at it, adrenaline junkie, happy. He pushed the car past the speed limit. It accelerated smoothly with a lion's purr, just like the best cars do. Wally resisted the urge to stroke the leather dash.
The rocketed out across the freeway, zig-zagging between an old lady who could barely see over the wheel of her Buick and some young dick in a Ferrari who tried to race them. Boy, did he learn the folly of that. They broke off the road and across the flat plains. They couldn't even see Gotham anymore, not that they wanted too.
They broke 90, then 125, and finally the car hit 200 mph and wouldn't go any faster. Wally and Nightwing were shrieking with laughter.
Until they realized that they'd suddenly become airborne.
"Crap!" Nightwing exclaimed, trying to see who was beneath the car. "Crap! He found out we took it and he called Superman on us!"
The car was set down on the side of the road. Nightwing winced as he eased open the hood.
"Do you know how long I've been looking for you? What are you even doing out here." Diana stopped and blinked. "Wally? Nightwing? Does Bruce know you've taken the car?"
Wally and Nightwing glanced at each other, mentally debating whether or not it was a good idea to lie to an Amazonian demigoddess of truth. Finally they just shook their heads.
She sighed at them. "You've left me in a difficult position, boys. On one hand I should probably call Bruce right now and tell him what you're up to. On the other hand, I was looking for him because this was the third date in a row he's broken. So I'm somewhat inclined to join you."
Wally and Nightwing blinked.
"You and Bruce have dates?" Nightwing asked, as if using "Bruce" and "date" in the same sentence was the equivalence of shaking up some matter and antimatter.
Diana rolled her eyes and hopped into the backseat. "Where to first, guys? Got any superpowered crooks for me to hit in lieu of a certain man-in-black?"
Flash and Nightwing shrugged, then Nightwing stepped on the gas and they shot off back towards Gotham City. "I'll see what I can do."
*****#*****
For the next hour or so they kicked, punched and tossed their way through an assortment of low-level drug dealers and petty thieves. Nightwing looked over to Diana once and saw that she was enjoying this just a tad too much. Maybe Bruce was lucky he'd slipped away for the night.
"So," he said, in the midst of his fist connecting with an unfortunate gunrunner's jaw. That would take out a few teeth. "You and Bruce are kind of a item? That's cool. I think I like you a little better that Catwoman. She tied me upside down from a building once when I was Robin."
"We have a thing," Diana replied. "I don't know if that makes us an item."
"Oh, loopholes." Nightwing chuckled. "Careful—you're beginning to sound like him."
"God forbid." Diana tied up the last of the gang and gave him a last slap across the face for good measure. "Someone has to be able to retain a little bit of humor around that man."
Nightwing laughed. The crooks were looking at them all like they were absolutely absurd. Flash dropped a couple more unconscious hooligans next to the others. He gave Nightwing a raised eyebrow look. "Well goodness, if Bruce doesn't like her maybe you ought to have her."
Diana rolled her eyes and pretended not to hear them.
"What!" Nightwing stood straight up. "She's Bruce's girlfriend. She's like fifteen years older than me and I'm not Woody Allen in reverse."
Diana snorted. "I'm immortal, Dick, I hope that doesn't make me too old."
"I didn't mean it that way." Dick scowled. He reminded Diana of Bruce when he did that.
Wally ambled up and slung his arm around Diana's shoulder. "If you ever want a guy with a sense of humor I'm not as uptight as Nightwing over here."
"What is going on here?" A dark shadow plunged down from the rooftop, growling. Wally and Nightwing nearly jumped out of their skin. Diana straightened up and very nearly smiled. Batman glared. "Well? I want an explanation. My car goes missing, I get reports of it blasting out across the suburbs…and you, Diana. What on earth are you doing as part of this?"
Diana looked over to Wally and Nightwing, who were practically cowering away from Batman. She fixed Bruce with an equally cold stare. "I borrowed your car. We were going on patrol and it is very nice."
Batman raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief. "Oh? And how did you get in?"
"Alfred." Diana crossed her arms. "After all, you broke our date—again, I might add—he was sympathetic and offered a fast car. Much better to use up aggression on asphalt than an obstinate boyfriend, don't you agree?"
Bruce's jaw worked, but she was one person who could win an argument with him. "Would you like to get dinner now?"
"Chinese?" she offered and took his arm. Before they flew off she tossed one last glance to Wally and Nightwing. "Boys—take the car back for Bruce, would you? I'm sure he won't mind you driving it a wee bit more."
Batman, for his part, just shook his head.