Chapter 11 – How about a little trip?
Heeey... Look who found a bit of time for a new chapter before June? Meeeeeeee! Yaaaay. And this chapter is extra long too! It's 7,500 words. Without my author note. But that's it. I'm letting you read. Answer to the reviews are on the bottom note. Have a good read you all!
A\N: The idiom 'I hit the thirtieth, I might as well hit the thirty-first' means the same as the idiom 'I've given you a bite, might as well give you the whole thing.'
The following two months passed slowly for Hiccup, in sorrow and loneliness. Not once did he call Toothless or Jack, not once did he answer their ceaseless calls and texts. For the first two weeks after Hiccup's choice of isolation, Jack even arrived at is door every single afternoon and started knocking, calling his name loudly and probably drawing the attention of half of the neighborhood, if not of the whole of it. But Hiccup just emotionlessly laid on his bed or sat on the couch, as he listened to the other boy's desperate voice and frantic knocks, wondering if the main door would have shattered under Jack's unending hits, sooner or later. He almost hoped that it did deep inside his mind, for which reason, though, he didn't know at all. Still, in spite of his profound hopes, he didn't move from the spot he was sitting or laying lying on. And eventually, Jack gave up and stopped coming at his door, even though the phone calls never stopped.
The time that passed was a true suffering for the brunet; as every second flowed away, it made sure to carve his mark in Hiccup's mind, leaving a furrow of sadness and emptiness after itself. Within a week from his outburst, Hiccup started to feel as if he was slowly imploding: he felt as if a black hole had started to form right in the center of his chest, like a void gash through the fabric of his own being that was thoroughly sucking him away bit by bit, devouring him without letting him see a way out. It was opening cracks in his walls, darkening the path he was still descending. And the end of that lonesome road was near, inevitably approaching. The moment of his collapse, the moment he knew that would come, the moment he feared the most, was getting closer by the second. Yet, uncaring of the growing fear and in spite of every known logic, he still didn't want to stop: in his mind there was no turning back and the way had to be walked until the end of it. His barrier, despite his continuous efforts, was slowly crumbling into dust and the wind of his true feelings was carrying that dust away. More than once he involuntarily started thinking about Jack, only to scold and punish himself as soon as he realized what he was doing; more and more often his dreams were crowded with images of his white haired former friend and crush, resulting in many sweaty awakenings and more punishments. His wrists, shoulders and ankles slowly became coated with white scars. Hiccup had learned, though, from his previous experiences that he had to be careful and punish himself not all at once, but one cut each time, fully experiencing the pain and letting it settle down, before opening a new tearing through his skin and veins. He couldn't see any light piercing through the cloud of his torment, no hope for a bright future. There wasn't any perspective before his eyes. He was surrounded by a complete nothingness. He had lost his will to live. The only thing that kept him alive was a beastly instinct, a bare… impulse from his own primal mind that refused to let the life go. So he just survived. Well… barely survive. He seldom ate all the food in his plate, and that was if he decided to eat at all. He didn't move from the couch or the bed from when he got home from school, to when he went back to school the day after. He just stayed still, staring into the void in front of him. School had been forgotten the first day after his argument with Toothless and Jack. Piles and piles of papers, his homework, were rising on his desk, submerging him with their mighty height. Loads and loads of work to be done. And did he have any intention of doing it, sooner or later? Absolutely not! Was there any point in giving a buck about school anyways? Not in his opinion. Not anymore. Obviously, as an almost immediate consequence, all of his grades dropped down low, as if they were a plane that ran out of fuel and flew down straight into the ground. From all his straight A's, his marks went down to D's in a first for a moment, then to F's. The brunet boy that studied all day to be a good student and make his dad proud was gone. Instead, Hiccup had become the definition of a bad guy: he ditched classes, he slept instead of listening to the lessons. He even started to hang out with the other bad guys in the bathrooms. Surprisingly, he was part of the same that used to bully him. That's right: he was part of Snotlout's gang, which, he discovered, was called 'Vikings'. He hadn't really done anything bad yet. Yeah, he beaten a few kids, stole money for lunch once or twice but nothing more. Nothing really worth of a 'Viking'. And of course, just for a change, his father wasn't happy of him. Sure, he had been for the first two weeks, but then he saw his son's scholastic flop and his phone started to ring more and more often with the calls from the headmaster, because "your son seems to have forgotten the right way of behaving, sir. Something needs to be done about it." Hell, Stoick got called so often that he and Toothiana called each other by name and became friends.
Hiccup's life was slowly sinking and the boy was going down with it. And every time he thought he had reached the bottom, he always found a way to sink down deeper. His life sucked. He didn't want to live it anymore. Yet something was keeping him from ending it. Call it the last hope, call it madness: in the deepest part of his mind, he never stopped hoping that he and Jack would, one day, be together. His conscious mind kept repressing that idea as a disgusting thing, yet it was the only thing that helped him staying alive.
He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't want to do anything. He was just pure apathy, and the only thing he could do was gripping to the others, no matter how evil or bad they were, to give a purpose to his surviving.
"Haddock?" Snotlout called, seeing that the brunet had his gaze lost, staring in the nothingness again. They were in the bathroom, cutting the last class of the day. "Fancy a cigarette?" He pulled out a packet from his pocket.
"Yeah, could really use a bit of smoking right now." Hiccup replied, snapping out of his own world and taking one of the white sticks. "Lighter, please."
"Here you go." Snotlout lighted the brunet's cigarette and picked one for himself, sticking it between his lips. "I still can't believe I let you join us, Vikings. But I guess that this 'Viking' part of you was just buried under layers and layers of stupid kindness and such. Fortunately you sobered before you were lost forever, ain't that right Haddock?"
The brunet just nodded as he inhaled the smoke in his lungs, repressing a gag. He hated smoking: it made him feel sick in his stomach, but he had to do it. He had to follow the flow of the Vikings. Every one of them used to smoke at least one a day, so he had to smoke too. "What were you talking about Snot? I got a little spacey before…"
"I was telling you about the final test to truly become one of us." Snotlout said, looking enthralled by the whole matter. "You'll be perfect if you pass it. Your final test is a beating. We won't assist you in the fight: you'll have to win on your own."
"Just this?" Hiccup gave a little, cold, emotionless chuckle. "I thought it would have been something more difficult like seducing someone, taking his or hers virginity and tell the whole school to make him or her look like a whore. I mean… isn't the whole 'beating up' matter a bit too old fashioned? It would be nothing but a boring cliché about the gangs."
"I admit that your idea looks like fun, Haddock, but you aren't going to beat up a simple someone." Snotlout remarked, a wide, wicked grin on his face. "To prove your full loyalty, you'll have to teach a good lesson to Jack Frost. I'm fed up with that guy's shit. He always stands up for the others and we never manage to get him. But if you are the one acting, everything will be different. You two used to be friends, right? Perfect. You'll lure him, pretending you want to talk to him, and lead him in one of the bathrooms. We'll block the exit and prevent anybody from entering. I bet you know what will happen next."
"Okay. As soon as the bell rings, I'll go get him in the hallways." Hiccup said, shrugging mindlessly. No emotions arose inside him, at least not at first. He just… followed the flow. There was no room for feelings. There was no room for ethics. There was no room for doubts. The only things that mattered was clinging to something and staying alive.
And to Snotlout's orders he clung.
Two minutes later the bell rang and Hiccup, throwing the remainders of the cigarette to the ground and stepping on them, got out of that bathroom, quickly walking through the students and shoving as much people as possible on his way to Jack's locker, right next to his. He leaned his back against the cold metal, waiting.
It took just a few minutes for the white haired boy to arrive: he had bags under his eyes, his gaze to the ground as he walked, and he looked pretty sad. He opened the locker and shoved the books inside, getting ready to go home. Seemingly, he hadn't noticed Hiccup yet. In fact he jumped back in surprise when he heard his name, whispered by the brunet.
"H-Hiccup?" Jack stuttered, a small smile parting his lips, his front teeth shining. "Are you actually talking to me? R-really? W-what do you need?"
"I think we need to talk, Jack." Hiccup said, looking into Jack's icy blue eyes for the first time in months and feeling instantly captured again in the cool, yet gentle grasp of the gaze. It was really amazing. In it was just like two months before, as if nothing bad had ever happened between them. Those eyes still held that softness that once made Hiccup go 'aaw'. There still was that endless sea of affection towards him, as if they never stopped being friends. It was astounding. In Jack's eyes, Hiccup could read Jack's soul, and he read that Jack had forgiven him already for all the hurting words he said. The brunet could read that in Jack's view, they still were best friends. Jack still trusted him. And Hiccup was about to betray that trust. He was about to suffocate every last sparkle of happiness in Jack's beautiful eyes.
Even if he should have had no reaction, he started to feel sick at the simple thought of hurting Jack any further. He had to do it, but he just… couldn't do something like that. Not to Jack. And those innocent eyes were just asking him, begging him, to drop all that madness, to forget those two months of anger and distance, to simply come back and be pals again.
'N-no… I have to resist… I… I hate him, right?' Hiccup thought, as he said "Yes, Jack. We definitely need to talk. Not here though; I don't want people to hear. Let's get into a bathroom."
With that, Hiccup grabbed Jack's wrist and turned around, starting to drag him towards his fate.
Yet, even as resolute as he was, he couldn't help but turning around one last time to get one last sight of that pretty face of Jack's, and to look just one last time into those capturing blue eyes. But one simple, quick glance wasn't enough for him: his eyes were hungry and the sight of Jack was their favorite food. So he turned one last time. And another last time and another last one. He stopped his walk. "Jack…" he said softly, turning for another last time again. His eyes stared into Jack's again. And he realized that he wasn't able to do it. He just couldn't. Not to Jack. He tugged at the other boy's wrist, pulling him into a hug, friendly and full of affection.
"I'm so sorry, Jack." Hiccup whispered, sighing heavily.
When Jack wrapped his arms around him, with a happy, relieved chuckle, a delicious warmth gently seeped through his skin and mercilessly melted the remainders of his walls down. Hiccup was extremely surprised: he expected pain to explode within him without any restraint, but he found out that there was no pain, hidden in the back of his mind. Not anymore. Jack's hug blew it all away, leaving him with a sense of peace, calm and slight happiness.
But he couldn't stop to think about his feelings in that moment. He had a Jack to save from the anger of a band of bullies.
"Jack, we have to run away from here. Now." He murmured in his found-again friend's ear. "if we don't want to get beaten up, we have to be elsewhere within five minutes."
"Huh?" Jack replied, a bit surprised. He pulled back from the hug, looking into Hiccup's eyes. "What do you mean, Hic? And how could you know such a thing?"
"Not now, Jack. We have to go, like, right now!" The brunet urged, trying to get his friend to move from that spot. "Please, Jack. Let's go!"
"Not until you told me what's going on." Jack replied resolutely, opposing to Hiccup's pressures. "Now you have to explain me everything."
The brunet was going crazy. He couldn't tell Jack that it was his fault. He couldn't tell him anything at all. Yet he knew that Jack was damn stubborn. Even though Hiccup had to admit that his own stubbornness came out rarely, he knew that Jack's stubbornness was akin to his own: for nothing in the world the white haired boy would have moved from that spot before knowing the information he was trying to obtain. He wanted an explanation, but Hiccup couldn't explain. He wasn't sure he would have done it in normal conditions, let alone in that situation. He certainly didn't have enough time to smooth-talk Jack out of his resolution of immobility. His brain quickly came up with various solutions, that he discarded one after the other because they would have never worked. Seemingly there was no way to make Jack move without explaining.
'But…' he thought, his mind suddenly enlightened. 'What if Jack didn't have to move at all? What if I…' Enough thinking. He had taken the decision. Maybe it was stupid, rash and unlikely to work, but it was the only thing he could do at the moment.
When Hiccup, his muscles moved only by the strong will of saving the white haired boy, scooped Jack up, getting a strong grip on the boy's buttocks, Jack let out an high-pitched yelp in utter surprise, as a flush quickly spread on his cheeks, painting him with the same colors of the reddest blossoming roses.
"H-Hiccup! What are you doing?! D-don't squeeze my butt! U-uh… I mean… Put me down! Let go of me!" Jack exclaimed to a deaf Hiccup. In fact, the brunet, instead of listening to his friend, tightened his grip and started to run as fast as he could through the by then empty hallways, with only two thoughts in his mind: 'save Jack' and 'Fuck, don't get hard!'
Hiccup's manhood couldn't stay put like a good boy and behave, for once. No! As soon as Jack was in his arms (well, more like on his hands) Hiccup's brain automatically dug out from the depths of his mind all the attraction towards Jack that he had buried two months before. The brunet felt himself stiffen and and throb, but, fortunately for him, nobody was in the hallways anymore and Jack couldn't see it because he was turned the other way. 'Holy shit… Chill, calm down. Please!' he thought, worriedly. 'I can't be seen like this… uh… what can I do? Uh… I know what! Think of Astrid naked.'
And the image of the nude girl appeared in his mind: she was beautiful, handsome. But the more he imagined her, the more he realized that never would he like a woman's body again. To anyone else, that image would have caused an instant drooling, while his only reaction was feeling indifference.
Meanwhile, Jack had wrapped his arms around Hiccup's torso and had buried his nose into the crook of the brunet's neck. His soft white locks were tickling Hiccup's skin, as well as his breath was. "Please, Hic! I don't like being carried!" He yelled, begging and digging his fingers into Hiccup's shirt, ferociously trying to get a better grip. "It scares me, put me down!"
Hiccup was definitely hating himself for scaring the other boy. He didn't want to even put the other in the slightest discomfort, let alone scare him. Yet he had to do it for their own well-being. At least, that feeling and Astrid's naked body in his mind, managed to calm his problem down. "I'm sorry, Jack. But unless you want a beating, I can't stop."
How long did they have before the Vikings understood that he betrayed them? Before they ran after him with the only purpose of making him pay? Hiccup didn't know but it wasn't very much time, that was for sure, so he tried to accelerate.
Jack tightened his hug on Hiccup even more, wrapping his legs around the brunet's waist to be a bit safer. "I-if you can't stop, then h-help me." He said. "D-draw my attentions somewhere else. S-say something!"
Hiccup nodded and leaned as forward as it was possible without losing his balance, starting to whisper soothing things into the other's ear. That's when he noticed that Jack had shut his eyes closed, his eyelids clenched as tightly as his arms were around him. "Oh, Jack…" He murmured softly, infusing his words with all the affection and the care that his heart was capable of. "There is no need to be scared of this. You are fine. You are not going to get hurt. I'm not going to let it happen. And as soon as we are far enough, I'm going to put you down on the safe ground and explain you everything, m'kay? But for now, just trust me. Breathe slowly and hold tightly onto me, okay? We are not going to get hu-"
"HADDOCK!" The yell roared in their ears from behind.
Hiccup didn't need to look, to know that Snotlout and his fellow Vikings were running after them. Fortunately, in that same moment, Hiccup kicked the main door open, bursting out into the school courtyard. The brunet was panting and his all of his muscles were burning and aching from the extra-weight, since the rush of adrenaline in his veins had run out. He didn't have much energy left. Surely not enough to flee from the bullies, who were catching up with them and would have found a way to torture the crap out of them, if they didn't vanish from there within twenty seconds. He was lost. He didn't know what to do and he was ready to drop Jack and let him flee, taking on himself the whole of the bullies' anger, when he saw the way to salvation: Toothless' car, with said black haired boy inside. He was about to drive away.
Okay, they had been torn apart for two months, but they were still friends, weren't they? Well, even if they had been not hadn't been anymore, he wouldn't have left anything of unattempted.
"Toothless!" Hiccup shouted at the top of his lungs as he tried his best to dash towards the car, squeezing every last drop of energy out of himself. "Open the back door!" The back door of the Cadillac opened, causing Hiccup to smile widely. Well… for as wide as he could smile.
"Hiccup, they are getting closer!" Jack shouted, having lifted his head and opened his eyes in the meanwhile. "Hurry up!"
The brunet just panted, feeling as if his lungs were on fire, and continued his continued to make his way towards safety. He was almost there. Just one more step and…
And he tripped. It was a lucky trip, for he flew forward in his fall, landing on the back seats with Jack under him. Yet, when they hit the soft fabric of the seats, the impact shook Hiccup, making his face shift down.
And because of that, Hiccup's lips met Jack's again.
It was nothing like the first time. There was nothing sneaky or shameful. Nothing that could make Hiccup feel guilty. It was just a soft, quick brush of lips because their momentum separated them almost instantly. Yet, that instant had been enough to send a warm shiver down Hiccup's spine. Hiccup forgot how good something like that felt. It felt so good that, actually, all he wanted to do, was to bend down again and press Jack against those seats with his own mouth. Yet he couldn't: he had just started fixing his and Jack's friendship and something like that would have broken it without leaving any possibility of fixing it back.
Instead he just struggled to disentangle himself from the mess of limbs that he and Jack were. When he found his way out of that chaos and managed to sit straight, he had a red flush all over his face and embarrassed expression.
"Oh, Hiccy…" Jack chirped in his ear, with a tone that seemed mocking to Hiccup. "If you wanted a kiss, you should have just asked me instead of setting up this whole foogazi with the bullies. How did you persuade them? You looked at them with those adorable puppy eyes of yours, didn't you?"
"Shut up, Jack…" Hiccup said, lightly shoving the other's shoulder. "It was no foogazi. They really wanted to beat you up, you dumb friend."
"Well, care explaining why and how did you know, then?" Jack asked, looking at Hiccup with a curious expression. "I want to hear."
"Yeah, care explaining why you pushed me and Jack away…" Astrid said, turning backwards from the seat next to the driver's. "Oh, and Toothless too, right. You pushed him away too. I can't really understand for he refused to tell me or Jack anything he knows about this matter."
"But before doing that, mind closing that goddamn door? I'm pretty sure that driving with a semi-opened door is illegal, here in Berk. Well, it was the last time I checked. And I have no intention of getting a ticket because of you two idiots." Toothless said with a chuckle.
The brunet noticed that the car was moving already and hurried in obeying Toothless' request. "Oh, by the way: hi Astrid! I didn't notice you were here." He said as he closed the door.
"Hi Hic!" She replied with a smile, which turned into a pouty, angry face as soon as she continued speaking. "Don't you dare changing the subject, I'm way too smart. Explain. Now."
"Damn… you got me, As." Hiccup said with a long sigh. "Fine… Bullies wanted to beat Jack up. I overheard them talking about it from outside the bathroom. I happened to be searching just for the right chance to come back to one of you and apologize for my behavior during these last two months. So I went and talked to Jack, picked him up when he refused to follow me and I saved him from bullies. End of the story. I'm sorry guys… I didn't mean to be such an ass. I was just angry…"
"Bullshit." Astrid called, calmly.
"W-what?!"
"I said bullshit."
"H-how did you… I mean, what?! It's not true!"
"Hiccup, for one you basically just admitted it. For two, everybody in the school know that you've started hanging out with Snotlout and his bullies. So maybe you heard, not overheard. I'm not questioning your apologies, only the rest."
"Damn you, Astrid!" Hiccup cursed loudly. "You won't be happy until I've spilled every single idiocy I committed and feel ashamed for, will you?"
"Pretty much. Let's just say that this is your punishment for keeping your distance from us all." Astrid replied with a smirk.
Meanwhile Toothless had pulled up in front of Jack's house, turned off the engine and he was looking at Hiccup too.
"Damn it… does everybody really want to know this bad?" Hiccup asked with a frown.
"We are just worried about you, Hiccup…" Toothless said with a caring shade in his voice. "And Jack is just curious, as usual."
The brunet sighed heavily. "Okay… During these two months, as you all seem to know, I started to hang out with the bad guys. I was becoming one member of their gang, one of the Vikings, as they like to call themselves. They forced some bad habits into me, such as spitting or bullying people for money… or smoking…" At those words, everybody's jaw was hanging down, leaving their mouth gaping, open so wide that several flies could have entered them all at once. Hiccup, unfazed by the astonishment of his friends, continued his explanation, undaunted. "Today, while we were ditching the last class into a bathroom, Snotlout told me it was finally time to truly become one of them, a Viking. My final test was to beat someone up. I thought that it wasn't a big deal, actually. I'm ashamed to say this, but… I've had done it a couple of times already a-and… well, it didn't seem to too difficult. Then, they told me that the one I had to hurt was... it was you, Jack. I would have had to lure you into one of the bathrooms and, while they would have blocked the door, I would have had to beat you up. And at first, the anger that I felt towards you made me say yes, but when I looked into your eyes again… I understood that all I wanted was to be forgiven for my stupidity. And I decided that our friendship was worth a lot more than my anger. I couldn't hurt you, I didn't want to. So I did the only good thing I could do. I tried to save you from the danger I had put you in. But you wouldn't move and I didn't want to tell you about this because I was afraid you'd hate me. And if you do hate me right now… Well you are perfectly right. I know I've been a bastard, but I was just angry. I didn't really mean anything of what I told you two months ago, neither did I mean to push you away. None of you, I mean. I'm sorry… I… I-I… please just forgive me…" Hiccup's voice progressively lowered, until it became an almost inaudible mutter, more akin to a begging prayer than to an apologetic speech. He looked just like a beggar in one of the ancient epic poems: the only thing that differenced him from the poetry, was that he wasn't crying or touching anyone's knees.
Nobody in the vehicle spoke for a good while: the silence was heavy, guilty, full of tension. 'I knew it…' Hiccup thought sadly. 'I screwed everything up…'
Toothless was the first to speak again. "Hiccup…" He said. "You've been the worst friend ever, during these last weeks. I hope you know it. Now… in the name of our sacred, life-long friendship, let me tell you something." At that point, the black haired boy's face lit up with a warm smile. "I forgive you, Hiccup. Be careful not to do something like this again because I might not be able to do it again."
"Well…" Astrid said. "I guess that I can forgive you too. You are too fun to be with and you've been a good friend for so long that it would be stupid not to give you a second chance and lose you for a little argument like this. What kind of girlfriend would I be, anyways, if I didn't support my boyfriend."
"Thank you, guys." Hiccup chuckled, a smile back on his lips. He hadn't heard the answer he wanted to hear the most, though. He turned towards the white haired boy, with a hopeful sparkle in his eyes. "And you, Jack? Do you think you can forget all this thing and be friends with me again? Can we go back to two months ago?"
"I…" Jack hesitated. "I don't know Hiccup. I wasn't anything but overly happy when you finally came back and wanted to apologize… but… but after I've heard what you were about to do, I don't know anymore. Y-you… you agreed to beat me up… to… to hurt me… I-I didn't think you would have ever been capable of even think something like that. You are not the Hiccup I've known for almost half a year, right now. You said that you did it out of anger. Fine, I understand. I know that you can both say and do things you don't mean when you are furious. I've experienced it on my own skin, so I know it's true. It's just that I don't even understand why you were angry at me. You told me something, two months ago, but I didn't get a single thing. And you keep procrastinating and not telling me what's going on. And, honestly, I don't know how much longer will I be able to bear this, so… would you mind explaining me everything, right here and right now, Hiccup?"
"Jack, I told you that I cannot explain. It's something that I can't tell you. Please, just… forgive me. I promise I'll be the best friend ever, but, I beg you, forgive me Jack."
"I don't know, Hic… I would like it very much, but I don't know. I'm not sure if I can trust you again. I need to think about it."
The brunet flinched, just a bit, as if he had just been slapped in the face. "I… I guess that this is better than a straight No."
Jack didn't reply. He just stared at Hiccup for a bit, before saying, "I have to go," and climbing off of the car to head towards his house.
Hiccup staid still, his gaze fixed on the door of Jack's house, with the hope that his favorite white haired boy would come out of there and tell him that he was forgiven. He stared at the door for five good minutes, before Astrid shook his arm, calling his name.
"Hic, don't worry." She said. "Anything will go back to what it used to be. Even better. Just wait for Jack to think about it."
"Yeah." Hiccup agreed with a small smile. How could he smile, he did not know at all: seemingly, his five minutes of happiness with Jack blew all the sadness and sorrow far far away, because in his mind only a bright hope was glowing. "I have faith in Jack. And I'll find a way to make up to him as soon as he decides to be friends with me again. I'll get our friendship back, just like it was before. It's too important to let it go."
"Don't you mean that he is way too important to you to let him go?" Astrid said, unable to hold it in. 'Oops…' she thought.
"Wh-what do you mean, Astrid? I-I don't think I get it… W-was that a joke?" Hiccup stuttered, blushing madly.
'Well… I hit the thirtieth, I might as well hit the thirty-first…' Astrid thought. "I meant that you wouldn't want to let him go because you like him a lot, don't you?" She said, with a soft smile not to make him worry and show him her acceptance.
The brunet went silent for a whole minute, completely unprepared to something like that. Then fear and mistrust arose. "You told her, didn't you Toothless? Dang… I knew I should have kept it a secret. You promised me you wouldn't tell a soul!" Hiccup snapped.
"I didn't!" Toothless said, defending himself. "Astrid already knew it. She figured it out, just as she figured out that I liked her."
"It is true, Hiccup." She added. "It's just that you are pretty obvious to me. I've been begging James to tell me more about it, but I couldn't get a thing out of him. He refused to tell me anything about your sudden unfriendliness, either. He's mute like a tombstone. No information got out of his mouth. I only know that you like Jack, nothing more. And before you ask, I'm okay with it."
"Is that true?" Hiccup asked, hesitantly. "D-did you really my secret even if I behaved like a bastard and treated you worse than scum, as if I hated you?"
"Yes, I did." Toothless answered, looking directly into the brunet's eyes. Hiccup had never seen a more sincere look on his friend's face, so he smiled and nodded, muttering a "Thank you."
The black haired boy chuckled and shrugged it off, turning to look at the street again and turning the engine on again, for it was time to get Hiccup home.
Astrid, though, instead of turning around again, stayed in his previous position. "Can you explain me what happened, Hiccup? Please, I want to understand."
The brunet sighed, both out of slight annoyance and embarrass. "Toothless, can't you tell her? I… uh… I'm too embarrassed to tell her."
"No, Hiccup." Toothless shook his head. "As I told her a few times: this is something only yours. It's up to you."
"Alright…" Hiccup huffed loudly as he talked. "After that party, two months ago, when Jack was overly drunk, I let him sleep in my bed. He asked me for a kiss to prove that I wasn't angry at him for being drunk, and I kissed his forehead. Then I looked at him, as he was sleeping, and he was so adorable with that slight alcohol blush on his cheeks… he just looked so beautiful. Anyways, long story short: I frenched him while he was asleep… A-and… well… He kissed me back because he wasn't asleep at all."
At that point, Astrid was uselessly trying to keep her own mouth closed with her hand, because she was nearly risking a jaw displacement. The sight caused Hiccup a brief chuckle and a small smile which only grew bigger at the memory of his kiss with Jack. "He kissed me back and I was so… so up high in the sky… over the clouds. But the morning after, just a few hours later, he… Jack… Jack didn't remember it. I tried to make him, but he said that, if there was something worth remembering that happened the night before, he would have remembered it. And I got angry and kicked him out of my house and… well… my anger just grew until today, when it vanished."
"Oh, Hiccup…" Astrid said softly, pity in her voice. "He was drunk… you should tell him. You can't exp-"
"Stop, please." Hiccup cut her off by rising his finger. "Toothless and I already had this conversation. He argued on the same point that you are trying to make me get. I do not wish to discuss this anymore. Plus, I have to go." Toothless had, in fact, just parked in front of the Haddocks' house. "Bye, guys. Thanks for the lift. See you later…" The brunet muttered as he got off the car. He walked up to his house slowly. Hopefully nobody was home, so he could have chilled off for a few hours before actually having to deal with his dad.
"Good Afternoon!" Hiccup shouted, as he closed the main door after him.
He was actually surprised when he heard his father answer his greetings. In fact, he thought his father to be at work, as usual, and he had said his loud greeting more out of an old habit he had, then out of thought that somebody was in the house.
Since Stoick kept calling for him, he walked up the staircase to reach his father's room: in there, things were a complete mess and many clothes laid, scattered around, on the floor. "What's the matter, dad?"
"Do you have your luggage ready?" The man asked, closing a suitcase that was on his bed. "We are setting off in a few hours."
"S-setting off?"
"Yeah, we are setting off for Iceland. We're visiting my cousin in Berk."
"But dad, we are in Berk…"
"Don't be silly, son. I'm talking about the island of Berk! The one after which this city is named. The one where our Viking ancestors were born. I told you last week, remember?"
"Actually, I don't. I must have forgot it." Hiccup said, looking sad. He wasn't even sure that his dad told him at all. "Do I have to come with you? Can't you give me some money and leave me here for the time you are there? It would be much easier…"
"Negative, son. It'll be good for you to breathe some fresh air, away from this city. Plus, I've bought the tickets already. Trust me, you'll enjoy it."
'Yeah, sure… just as much as I'd enjoy a screw with Snotlout.' Hiccup snapped in his mind. Nevertheless, he nodded and went to his room, starting to quickly shove some clothes into the small suitcase he owned.
"T-shirts: check. Underwear: check. Pants: check. Sweater: check. Toothbrush: check. Okay, I think I have everything." He said, before closing the suitcase and dragging it, not without some effort, downstairs to the front door, ready to be picked up.
Stoick was outside already, waiting for the taxi he had called to get them to the airport, and the brunet was just about to join him when his phone rang. He hastily pulled it out of his pocket, risking to make it fall to the ground.
The call was Jack's.
"Jack!" He said-gasped as soon as the device was near his ear. "Jack, it's me. Please tell me that you can forgive me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Tell me that you decided that we can be friends again…"
There was a long sigh, followed by a short silence, coming from Jack. "Hiccup…" He finally called with a sad note in his voice.
"J-Jack? What's wrong?"
"I've looked inside myself and… I'm sorry but I can't trust you to be my friend anymore. You are a completely different person from the one you showed me you were before all this. And I can't cope with that. I wish I could but I can't. I'm sorry. I would like to tell you that it's not your fault but… it is. It's partly mine too, because, if I was a better friend, what I'm saying would be completely different. But it's your fault mainly. I'm sorry… I'm a coward, because I should be there, looking into your eyes as I tell you this, yet I hide behind a phone. But this is it. I'm truly sorry, Hiccup. Farewell." And with that, Jack ended the call.
Hiccup dropped the phone. He didn't bother gathering it from the ground. He wasn't crying, his tears ran out a long time ago. He just wasn't sad enough to cry. Don't misunderstand, he was terribly sad. Sadder than he had ever been, actually. But, together with that sadness, there was something that prevented him from crying: acceptance. Because, honestly, who was he kidding? He had expected that to happen: his friendship with Jack hadn't been as long and solid as the one he had with Toothless, and it was only logical that his behavior had been a blow too strong to bear for the bond that he and Jack shared, not tight enough yet.
He had just been clinging to one last, foul hope. A hope which refused to die even in that moment: inside himself, bigger than ever, the hope for he and Jack to go back at when they were friends and even to become something more, grew stronger and stronger by the second.
For a second, he felt hollow again. Then he tried to hate Jack once more, but he knew that he couldn't: his senseless hatred was what had caused the crevice between them, after all. So, almost instantly, hope took the place of the hatred, leaving the brunet sad, yet more willing to live and try than he was that morning when he woke up.
He, in all honesty, thought that Jack did the right thing. He knew he had made a mistake and now he was just facing its consequences.
It was with a slightly resigned expression that Hiccup left his house with his suitcase, closing the main door and leaving the phone right where he dropped it.
Toothless' and Astrid' POV
When Hiccup closed the door, Toothless turned towards his girlfriend. In her eyes, he saw a light, a bright sparkle, that meant that she was either scheming something or up to something already. "No, Astrid. Don't do that. Whatever it is, you cannot do it." He said preventively, imagining what she wanted to do already.
"But they are so obvious!" She complained. "I have to tell them, please!"
Toothless' chuckled. He had been right in his assumption. "Astrid, you know you can't. You promised me that you wouldn't interfere."
"But… they'd be happier if I told them! I mean… come on, James! Jack kissed him back! It's so obvious that he likes Hiccup. And the fact that he kissed him back while he was drunk, only confirms my assumption!"
"I know, As, but playing Cupid is wrong. I they can't figure it out by themselves, it means that there is no empathy between them. And without empathy, their relationship as lovers would crumble, sooner or later, and they would end up hurt. So no interfering, okay?"
"Fine…" She agreed. "But I get to tamper them for every detail after they'll have confessed."
Toothless smiled and chuckled, giving her a quick kiss before driving away. "I love you, As."
"I like you a lot, Tooth."
Jack's POV
"… I'm truly sorry, Hiccup. Farewell." He said. Then, without giving the brunet time to reply, he hung up both the phone and his friendship with Hiccup.
He was certain that Hiccup knew that this was difficult for him, too. What he was sure that the brunet would never know about, was the tear that was rolling down his cheek as he shoved the phone back in his pocket.
He grabbed his head in between his hands, and many tears followed that first one.
And... This chapter is dooone! Yes, you can hate me for this. As long as you feel the angst you can hate me for this. Can you feel it rise, Skelly? Right inside you? Be careful for the moment of my last strike is approaching, and if everything goes as planned... You'll weep like a baby!
It's late and I need to sleep a bit, so Goodnight and thank you all, guys!
And now, finally, answers to all of your reviews for my last chapter, you awesome readers and reviewers!
To Kigen Dawn: Well, Kig, looks like you are damn right!
To HoneyBeeez: Yeah, sure... Stop being a pessimistic, Hic. Or not... *grins evilly* Maybe you'll kill me for this...
To thecrazyLaDiDa: Well, if you thought that it was angsty, what about this chapter, then? Well... Jack didn't mean to be mean, yet he've been mean!
To Aangelik: Well... That's not bipolarism, technically. It's more like a twisted form of denial. And kissing a drunk guy is always smart! If he's drunk he can't... No. I'm about to spoil. Nothing! You'll have to wait.
To Skelly: *sits at the table and eats the cake* Ah, Skelly, you couldn't have done something more appreciated. I love chocolate cake. Now... Well, you didn't cry because I didn't want you to yet. You see: I have many rollecoasters to make you ride and if you got defeated by the first two... Well, it wouldn't have been a challenge. For now, ride the third and drown in angst. I'm glad that you liked the insight description because it actually took me a bit... A lot... A tad lot to write. Thank you, Skelly!
To Mjus: Hii! London was fantastic! But it was way too... British. And I'm more a sort of... Uh.. Shipper of USA, so... Well... I didn't like 100% of it. As for the clever remark, it's okay. I'm sure you'll have a clever remark for this chapter, as always. And I'm kinda surprised that you know that principle. I thought the whole 'flipping over' matter starting from that.
To nina dotran 3: Mh... I don't really think it's Jack's fault, but obviously Hiccup does. Let's just hope for the better, right?
To HinataKaede: I'm sorry! I don't want to make you cry, but that's kinda positive... I mean... That means that I arose feelings, right?
To LittleRed88: O-oh... Wow... *blushes* Thank you!
To HTTYD-PJATO-ROTG-41185: for one, I'm sorry if I misspelt your name but it's 2 am and I'm tired. For two... AAAH! Here I am!
To HiccupxJackFrost11: well, hey! You rock too! Thanks! I hope you liked this!