Behind the Back and Face to Face
(The week before Christine left the brig)
Kirk stared at Dr. Mara as she read over her PADD in the mess hall. Nyota joined him at his table and said, "Don't look too hard, Captain. If you must be reminded, yet again, the woman is spoken for."
Kirk smiled at her and said, "Uhura, it's nice to see you out and about."
"Are you kidding me? After being on house arrest for two weeks, there is nothing that I want more than being out and about," Nyota told him with a chuckle.
"In speaking of out and about, Mara is wanting to ask Christine to leave the brig, next week." Kirk said.
Nyota frowned, but said, "Dr. Mara is the doctor, and a professional. If she says that Chapel should come out, Chapel should come out."
"Can you handle that?" He wondered.
"I can handle more than Christine." Nyota said.
"You know what story keeps coming to mind?... That night that we were at the modeling show, at the Academy..." Kirk started
"Oh, God. I remember that better than mostly anything that has ever happened to me, what I keep forgetting is the fact that you were there."
"Whatever happened to that woman?" He asked with a smile.
"Doyle was on the Farragut." Nyota said.
Kirk frowned and said, "Oh. I'll never look back at that moment and laugh again."
"Good. It wasn't funny. Captain Kirk, I don't like to lose control. It's embarrassing – for me and for Spock, whether or not he will say so."
"Were you with Spock when you punched that woman?" Kirk asked.
Nyota sighed, not really wanting to think about that particular incident, but answered, "Yes, I was with Spock."
"How long have the two of you been..." When Kirk saw Spock approaching the table, he changed the subject to, "So basically, when Dr. Mara gets us to a certain point, she's going to feel at liberty to leave the ship and if we need further sessions, we can conduct them via transmissions, like you were doing before she came on board."
Nyota pressed her lips together and turned to see Spock sitting down. Spock did not like when Kirk asked Nyota about their personal information. He never made a big fuss over it, but the fact that Kirk knew that he did not like it always caused him to try to play it off.
Spock sat down at the table and replied, "If you are inquiring as to how long I have known Lt. Uhura, the answer in Terran time is..."
Nyota joined in with him to answer, "Eleven years, eight months, sixteen days, fourteen hours..." she stopped speaking as he continued, "seventeen minutes and forty two seconds." Kirk smiled, slightly. Of course, Spock had heard him try to play the conversation off. Spock slightly smirked at Nyota and said, "You were quite close to a precise account."
"I've been trying to keep count. Your internal clock works better than me consulting my PADD." She answered. "I can't do the minutes and seconds."
"There was a time that you said the same thing about the hours." Spock replied. Then, glanced at Kirk and said, "But of course if you were asking how long we have been romantically involved..."
"Since he came back on the ship, technically. We had dated for a few months, at the Academy. Then we broke up for a few, although sometimes, it was like we hadn't broken up because I couldn't be with anyone else."
"You could have selected another. You chose to restrain yourself," Spock said.
"No, you had a hold on me..." She corrected.
Kirk watched the couple go back and forth, arguing, but not spitefully, then he excused himself from the table and went to join Mara.
"So... Kirk says that Christine might be coming back to the real world next week." Nyota said. "Dr. Mara told me whenever the data slate situation happened that Christine and I definitely would have to have a face to face with her as the mediator. That will probably be coming up soon. I want to forgive her, I really do. I know how hard it is to deal with what happened to us, but every time I think about her, I think about the fact that she tried to take you from me when I was at one of my weakest moments."
Spock answered, "It has been established that I shall belong to you until the date of my death."
"My death," She corrected, knowing that Vulcans outlived humans.
"We have discussed that discrepancy previously," Spock stated.
"I don't have a Vulcan memory bank, so I may need to be reminded." She said with a sly smile.
Spock placed his two fingers onto hers and told her, seriously, "Whether you die first, or I do, I shall consider myself yours until the date of my death." She leaned forward and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. Spock's eyes fluttered ever so slightly, then he said, "I believe that now is the time to head to the learning resource area to retrieve our children."
"You want to walk with me?" She asked.
He replied, "That is agreeable."
As they walked, she suddenly remembered, "Oh, Janice and I want to have dinner tonight, together. Our family with she and Dr. McCoy." Spock nodded in agreement to the arrangement.
Dr. McCoy opened the door and immediately picked up Sanaa and kissed her on the cheek. Before he would even so much as speak or look at anyone else in the party, his princess received attentions from him. He held her as the others walked inside. Janice smiled at them and went to steal Sanaa from her godfather. She followed a practice quite similar to her husband's where Sanaa was involved.
Sytar sat at the children's table, which the McCoy's kept for when they babysat the little ones. Styik set his computer on the big table and began studying. "Does he ever not study?" Dr. McCoy asked Spock.
Styik answered for himself, "My personal instructor sends me the curriculum that is being taught on my academic level from the Vulcan Science Academy on a daily basis. If I am to match and exceed the other Vulcans on my academic level, I have to maintain familiarity with the studies that they have, and be certain that I can understand them completely, in preparation for my future."
"You are only twelve. You have plenty of time." Janice said, setting Sanaa down at the children's table now, too.
"I plan on having intellectual efficiency to enter into the Vulcan Science Academy within the next two years. I wish to enroll when I am fourteen." Styik confessed.
Janice tilted her head and asked, "Isn't that young, even for a Vulcan to be admitted to that school?"
"Firstly, only Vulcans are admitted into the school, so your use of "for a Vulcan" was not needed, and secondly, yes, fourteen is a young age to be admitted into the school, but it is also something that I can and will do. Tirza is an excellent personal instructor, and I am an exemplary pupil." Styik said, not turning away from the screen of his computer. There had been a tad bit of sass in his response, but Nyota decided that she would let him make it unscathed. They had just arrived, after all.
Dr. McCoy announced, "Well, there is even more cause for celebration!"
"More cause, Doctor?" Spock questioned.
Janice offered, "Joanna has been accepted into Starfleet, and she is going to be studying nursing."
Nyota looked confused, until Spock replied, "Being accepted into a school is an accomplishment that any father would celebrate."
"Oh!" Nyota said with realization. "Joanna, your daughter! I'm sorry, McCoy. I forget that you have a daughter, sometimes. How old is she?"
"Seventeen!" Dr. McCoy admitted proudly. "Dr. Mara contacted her to talk to her about me and she was so excited for the chance to tell me about the news! We had not spoken in years, and the only communication that we held was through letters which she sent to Starfleet. I would get the information much later than she sent it. Now, she has direct contact with me here on the ship." Nyota could have sworn that his eyes were sparkling as he announced the news.
Janice commented, "He has been on cloud nine for the most portion of the day."
Nyota smiled and gave him a hug, "That is great news, Leonard."
"What are we eating?" Sytar asked.
Janice smiled at him and asked, "Did you give me a hug, tonight, my little friend?" He reached up and gave her a big hug, but the child was not to be deterred.
"What are we eating?" He asked.
Nyota said, "You should answer, Janice. He is all business when it comes to food... his metabolism is extremely high."
Janice looked at the boy and said, "Well, we have quite a menu tonight, but I know that you will be particularly interested in the beet salad and the pumpkin pie."
"Beet salad?" He questioned. The dish was new to him, but he loved beets.
"Mr. Spock, would you mind preparing the kids their plates?" Janice asked. "I haven't mastered the art of preparing their servings with the perfect portions for their body types. There is always food left on their plates when I fix them."
Spock nodded once and went to the little bar where several platters of food were displayed. He made Sanaa's plate first, of course, then Sytar's. Sytar happily snatched the plate and reached his hand out for his food. "Sytar." Spock stated once, and the boy winced slightly, then grabbed his fork.
Nyota, Spock, Janice and Dr. McCoy joined Styik at the table, with their own plates. Nyota glanced at the counter and said, "I am going to have to take home a whole desert plate."
"Leonard's got the sweet tooth tonight." Janice said, smiling at her husband.
McCoy smiled and said, "This is the best that I have felt in a long time. Feel free to have seconds and thirds of desert, if that's what you want. Spock, you have some too. Janice handmade that chocolate surplus pie."
"Spock can not have chocolate." Nyota said.
"He can have it. It won't kill him. It'll lighten him up." Dr. McCoy corrected.
"No thank you, Doctor." Spock said.
Janice sat on Dr. McCoy's lap and said, "I guess that means more sweets for you, Leonard." She kissed him on the forehead.
"I love my sugar," Dr. McCoy said.
"The two of you are doing really well," Nyota said, with a smile. "I am so glad to see that."
"Well, aren't you two doing well, too?" Janice asked. Neither Spock nor Nyota answered. Spock was chewing and Nyota took that time to take a drink of her wine. Janice quickly added, "Well, Dr. Mara has been wonderful for us, but then again, we didn't have it as bad as you two to begin with..."
"Janice," Dr McCoy interrupted. He glanced at Styik, and Janice blushed for her own foolishness, and almost dropped her wine glass. She took a sip and placed the glass on the table.
Styik replied, without looking up, "I know everything about the situation, already. It is the younger ones that discretion is required for."
Dr. McCoy changed the subject, "At any rate, Dr. Mara is wonderful. I'm going to be sad to see her go."
"I'm not. When she goes, that means that I am better." Nyota said. "And better is what I am aiming for."
Janice said, "I think that you are better. You seem better than you did at first, and you were still working then. I don't know why you haven't started working again yet."
"I have to have these face to face sessions with Christine before Mara will clear me for work." Nyota said, not mentioning that Mara also wanted her and Spock to begin melding regularly. Mara suggested that she did not have to be present for the melds, but she would ask about them, and Spock had this terrible issue with not lying. All she would have to ask him is if they have melded, and he would reveal whether or not they have been, whether or not he answers the questions. Janice growled about the statement, and Nyota added, "So, I am just trying to wait it out, until I can feel better about everything that happened before I have to face her. Every time I see her, I just want to hurt her."
Spock tensed up at the words. Nyota noticed him and rubbed the back of his hand. "Nyota, it is not wise to speak in such a way. Should you be heard, if ever anything does happen between the two of you, you may be accused of premeditating an attack," Spock informed her, gravely.
"What do you think we are, Spock?" Dr. McCoy asked, "Back stabbers?" Spock lifted an eyebrow, not certain what the question meant.
Janice said, gruffly, "No, Christine Chapel is the back stabber. I can not believe that I have trusted her around Leonard all of this time! What if he had been a convenient source of comfort for her? Back stabber." She repeated the word and Spock now turned to face Nyota, checking to see if she noticed his confusion.
Nyota looked at Spock, and upon seeing his face, with its slight hints of confusion, explained, "A back stabber is someone who is perceived to be a friend, but treats the alleged friend in a treacherous way."
"A traitor," Styik added.
Janice shook her head in disbelief, angered disbelief, and said, "And there I was feeling so sorry for her, trying to have you to check on her and talk to her and try to make her feel better, and she was trying to sink her claws into your husband! I knew that she was going to do that. I had a feeling. She has always been so ridiculous when it came to Spock. Like Kirk with pretty girls, logic and common sense, years of firmly grounded intelligence, all of the above out of the window at first sniff!" Janice fussed.
"Janice, calm down. There are children present," Dr. McCoy said. He looked at the guests and said, "She gets worked up when you mention Nurse Chapel."
"Uhura trusted her!" Janice defended herself.
"I am going to have to second Dr. McCoy's request that you calm down, Mrs. McCoy," Spock said.
Janice stared at him for a moment, then picked up her wine glass, "Perhaps I should pour the rest of this out." Janice arose from her husband's lap and went to pour out the rest of her wine. She called out, "I think I may lay down for a while." She staggered into the bed area and laid down.
"I love her, but she never has been very good at holding her alcohol. Damned woman is going to get herself in trouble with that someday. I'm really sorry, about the kids being exposed to her that way, Spock." McCoy said. Spock nodded once, and Nyota pressed her lips together. When McCoy noticed, he said, "And Uhura."
Nyota pretended to be startled and asked, "Am I here?" She smiled at winked at Dr. McCoy. He gave her a small smile back.
"I want some pie!" Sytar called out. Nyota glanced at Spock, and Spock arose to go get a slice of pie for their son.
When he was away from the table, Dr. McCoy said, "I really wish that you would talk to Nurse Chapel. I don't feel comfortable going on missions aboard new planets when Hawkins is at your station."
"Hawkins learned from the very best." Nyota assured Dr. McCoy.
"Well, maybe when I go to the bridge, I just want to be able to see you there," McCoy now said.
Styik warned, "Careful, Doctor. My father is still within hearing distance and prone to jealousy."
"Jealousy is illogical," Spock replied from where he was standing.
Styik glanced at him, looked at Dr. McCoy, smirked and said, "It is natural, Father. Being half human, feelings are quite natural."
"You have feelings, too, Styik," Nyota reminded him, automatically becoming defensive over Spock, and his emotions.
"And I have no problem with them, Mother," Styik said. "I rather enjoy showing them. Father is still in denial about his, when everyone who knows anything about him knows..."
"Styik, enough!" Nyota snapped. The room became silent.
Everyone stared at her, except for Spock, who simply placed a slice of pie before Sytar and returned to his place at the table. Nyota held out two of her fingers towards him and he met them with his own. This caused Styik to smile to himself. Even if he had been slightly embarrassed by Nyota's tone with him, it was worth it to see her reach out to Spock. Then, she wrapped her fingers around his, brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it. "I have you covered," she said.
(Presently)
"Nyota, I am merely telling you what I require of you before I am going to clear you for work on the bridge. Three sit downs with Christine Chapel, and personal melds with Spock. I realize that I may have been too forceful before, and that is why I am not pressuring you to act, but the fact of the matter is that Captain Kirk respects my decision. You can take however long you need to, but I am not clearing you for work until we have the three meetings behind us." Dr. Mara said, barely even glanced at Nyota as she restated the conditions of her returning to work.
"Mara, you saw Spock and I in the hallway the other night. He gave me a piggy back ride on the ship! I mean, we are still having issues, but they're regular marriage issues. It's nothing like it was before you came along and we are both grateful for that, but I know that I am able to work again. I know that I will be fine," Nyota insisted.
"I have no doubt that you will be fine, but Christine is not as strong as you, and for me to properly treat her, you will need to talk to her." Mara placed her PADD down on the table and said, "What if I moderate your exchange? What if I make transmissions between the two of you to break the ice, clear the air a little, then will you agree to a face to face?"
"What about this transmission?" Nyota asked.
Mara had each of them ask three questions that they wanted to know the answer to from the other, then she made a transmission of their responses. She sat separately with each of them to allow them to hear the answers to the questions which they had given to her for each other.
Nyota:
How could you hurt the one person who shared your pain?
Did you really think that you could come between Spock and I?
Are you satisfied, now?
Christine took a deep breath and looked at the recording device as she replied, "How could I hurt the one person who shared my pain? I don't know. There is no excuse. There is nothing that I can say that will successfully answer such a question. All that I can say is that I am sorry that I did so. I knew how much pain you were in and I knew that you needed someone, that your friends were low and you had no one that you could relate to, but those things just didn't... they didn't affect my behavior. I hope that I was just too sick at the time. I hope that it was not a conscious decision, on my part, to hurt you. As of right now, I still don't really know what I was thinking, but I really am sorry."
She glanced at the PADD in her hand to see the next question, and replied to it, as well, "Did I really think that I could come between Spock and you? No. I don't know. He was in so much pain. He was so lonely and you were so withdrawn from him, that I think that maybe I did, briefly. Of course, I was not in my right mind, Uhura. Please believe me when I say that I know that Mr. Spock loves you more than anything, and if ever he would have ever had anything to do with me, it would not be in the capacity that I made advances towards him. I hope that one day you can forgive me."
Now, she glanced down, one more time for the last question, and answered, "Am I satisfied, now? No. I am ashamed of myself. I am angry at myself. I caused unnecessary pain. I put an unnecessary additional strain on your marriage, and I lost... a lot. Uhura, I have looked up to you for years. I wanted us to be friends. I enjoyed the periods of time that we were friends, and I ruined that. So, no, I am not satisfied, but I deserve to feel the way that I feel for what I did to you. I am sorry."
Mara allowed Nyota to watch the transmission of Christine's answers before making the transmission of Nyota's answers. Nyota felt that it was a set up. Mara was probably trying to soften up her answers by showing her a pitiful, pathetic Christine boo-hooing about her silly mistakes and begging for forgiveness. Nyota decided that despite what Christine had said, there was no need to lie to the woman. Mara told her to speak her mind, and she was rather good at that, so she decided to do so.
Christine:
Do you hate me for what I have done to you?
Will you ever forgive me?
What can I do to try to show you that I am truly sorry?
Nyota looked directly at the recorder and announced, "I don't need a PADD to address your questions, because the things that you've asked me are things that I would have already told you by now if I thought that you were important enough to talk to, but since I am forced to communicate with you, and there is no getting around it, it's about time that you know. Yes, I do hate you. That is saying a lot, Chapel, because I am not a hateful person. However, I hate you, and I do not know if I will ever forgive you. The thing about this is, I really don't have to forgive you. Because I lost my faith in God on that planet. Forgiveness has become a thing of the past to me, and not forgiving you has not caused me to lose a wink of sleep yet. And finally, what can you do to show me that you're sorry? How about you just don't worry yourself with that one? Instead, just stay away from me. I will not bother you and you don't bother me. I am going to do whatever I need to do to get back on the bridge, but you and I need not deal with each other unless work absolutely demands it."
Mara stopped the recording and said, "So, you do agree to the face to face meetings?"
"I have no choice, do I?" Nyota asked, then glanced at the clock and stood up, "I will see you next session."
"Have you and Spock been melding?" Mara asked.
"Not since you threatened me into it," Nyota replied, leaving the office.
As she stepped out, she nearly bumped right into Christine. The color flooded Christine's face and she quickly said, "I apologize, Lt. Uhura."
Nyota simply stepped around her without replying, glanced at Hawkins, who was next to Christine and said, "Hawkins," with a nod of acknowledgment.
Upon walking away, she heard Christine say, "I told you that she hates me. She did not even acknowledge me."
"She doesn't hate anyone, Chris," she heard Hawkins say. She kept walking. Christine would find out very soon exactly what she though of her. Having finished that transmission, Nyota did not really understand the purpose of having face to face meetings, but they were mandatory. They wouldn't be the most difficult thing she had ever done.
Truthfully, the problems between Christine and Nyota had not began recently. Their problems began almost as soon as they met. Nyota and Spock had melded in their academy days. Spock knew it was not logical and even knew that it was dangerous, but for whatever reason, found it next to impossible to resist Nyota begging him for it. He had wanted to, but had been afraid of possibly hurting her... with good reason. In the weeks following their meld, Nyota began to behave erratically. She could not seem to keep her emotions contained, until finally, she suffered a severe mental lapse in which the emotions related chemicals in her brain violently changed from one to another and she laid in what appeared to be a state of shock.
They discovered that this was a reaction to the meld between herself and a Vulcan she was not bonded to. Spock had left Vulcan sized emotions within a human body, unable to control them as successfully, and Nyota ended up in medical bay. Christine was her nurse. Already, the woman had love for Spock, not realizing that he belonged to someone else. (Technically, Spock and Nyota were broken up, but Spock still belonged to Nyota, as far as either of them were concerned.) Nyota even encouraged Christine to try to go after Spock, if she was a fighter, willing to work hard, with what seemed to be unfair disadvantages, against all his years of logic!
Christine had declined, yet, when she believed that Nyota may have been winning Spock for herself, again, Christine reported Spock's suspicious activity to an administrative officer at Starfleet Academy. This meeting caused the officer and Spock to decided to place Nyota on the Farragut... a fact that Nyota did not learn of until after being bonded to Spock. By that time, Nyota considered Christine her friend, and tried not to resent her for the action. She succeeded well enough.
Then came other instances, like the way that Christine seemed to be trying to console Spock after Nyota's miscarriages. Of course, Spock brushed her off, without ever even realizing that there was anything suspicious about her behavior. He had been more concerned with his wife's condition, and Christine's excuse for her actions was just that.
Then there was a time when an infection, picked up in space, lowered the Enterprise crew's emotional inhibitions, and Christine told Spock that she loved him. Nyota even let that one slide, because it was already known, and Chapel had only confessed it because of the infection. Christine had been so ashamed that she had told Nyota that she was sorry, while the infection was still in her system. The infection had made Nyota react in anger, but she later apologized, and the two of them got past that episode, as well.
But now... there was no getting over it. Nyota had pretty much accepted the fact that she was through with Christine, through with understanding, through with forgiveness. Christine could rot, for all that she cared, and the only reason that she would even acknowledge Christine, was because she would have to. That was her mind frame when she left Mara's office, and that was her mind frame when she returned to the office for the first of their sessions.
The Sessions
Session 1
Mara looked at the two women and said, "Let's discuss your history as friends. Christine, tell me the story of your past with Uhura, from your point of view."
Christine cleared her throat and said in a small voice, "When I first met her, she was sick. I was trying to be a good nurse and make her feel comfortable, so when she asked me to call Mr. Spock down to sick bay, even though it was Midnight, and inappropriate, I called him. I wanted her to be comfortable..."
"Or you wanted to see Spock, yourself and I gave you the perfect excuse to do so," Nyota speculated.
"It is not your turn to speak, Nyota," Mara said sternly.
Nyota replied with a grin, "Just making sure we place all possibilities before us."
Christine continued to talk, "Well, we had a mutual friend. She was familiar with my best friend, Janice Rand. Janice let me know that she did not think that Uhura liked me very much, which was beyond me, because I liked her a great deal. I thought that we would make great friends. Then, Spock and I had a date." Nyota scoffed and laughed at the same time, but Christine kept going, "And Uhura interrupted it to get a dress out of Mr. Spock's closet. It was extremely awkward and I did not know if something unethical was occurring, so I reported it to the administrator responsible for monitoring this. It is still seen as a sign of hate today, but I honestly was concerned about the ethical nature of Starfleet Academy staff and students. After Vulcan was destroyed, I realized that Mr, Spock and Lt. Uhura were together and I did not do anything to endanger that, at all. They were both officers and the Captain knew of their relationship and had not tried to change it, therefore I did not complain and even though I still cared for him, I did not compete. Only after our attack did I ever even think to do such a thing. I never would have tried, before. I made a huge mistake. I made several, but the mistakes that I have made since that attack have affected me more than anyone else."
Nyota stared at Christine, head on, but with no visible emotion. Christine avoided looking at the woman, and eventually, both of them were looking at Mara. Mara asked Nyota, "And Miss Uhura, what do you have to say about not liking Christine before she ever made an attempt on your husband's affections?"
"It isn't true. I did like Christine. I even told Christine that if she really wanted Spock to go for it. She chickened out. Spock and I had broken up, I had been sick, and some other things happened that deterred me from getting all of my possessions from his quarters. When I went over there to get my dress, I apologized for interrupting their date, and I did not make any attempt to quarrel with Christine. Christine, however, in a bout of jealousy tried to get us in trouble with Starfleet administration, not realizing that the officer she reported us to had a little history of her own with us, and she did what she could without throwing any books at us. Am I to honestly believe that Christine was genuinely concerned about an institution that she only joined for the chance to try to find a lost lover? She was willing to possibly destroy the careers of the only Vulcan in Starfleet and a student at the top of her class in her department over an interrupted date. Also, according to Spock, that was not even a date." Nyota knew that she probably sounded immature, but these things needed to be addressed, did they not? Wasn't that why they were here?
Mara said, "So, do either of you feel that you were ever friends?"
Now, both of the women simply looked at each other.
"I did," Nyota said. "For a while there, I actually did. Christine saw Spock and I through two miscarriages and two births. She helped to throw both of my baby showers. She has helped Janice to babysit my children. The one time that Sytar got sick, Nurse Chapel spent hours entertaining him in sick bay, because she knew that he was restless. Then, we went through a devastating event together. I studied about this subject. There are times when people feel that they have a common link, a bond that can never be broken because they endure something together. It happened with some holocaust victims in Earth's history and several other things, but that one stuck out to me. Because it was quite a number of people, and they felt that they had a terrible, but real connection to each other. In our case, it may not have been as bad as that time period, but it was bad enough for us, and instead of millions, there were only five of us controlled by the Platonians, and only the two of us attacked in the way that she and I were... Can you imagine how connected I thought that we were after that, Samara?"
Nyota felt tears well in her eyes, as she continued, "I mean, I did not have to explain to her how badly I felt. She could just know without me saying a word. I could look at her situation, when she was losing it, and I could empathize when others were judging her. I even made sure that she got home safely after she drew a lot of unnecessary attention to us by taking my hands and sliding them up her skirt at a party, drunk. When I wasn't reaching out to anyone else, I made it my business to stop by and see her, or contact her in her room to check on her, just to do it! I did think that she was my friend. I thought that I was hers, but now we know better, don't we, Christine?"
Christine simply stared back at Nyota. She was speechless. In all of the time that she had known Nyota, yes, the things that she said were true, but Christine had never thought that Nyota considered her actions as a sign of friendship. Christine had always believed that Nyota credited her niceness towards her and her family to duty or at the least, faking. Now that she realized that one of her role models had actually considered her a friend, she was even sadder about her mistake. Christine finally said, "I never knew that we were friends. I wanted to be her friend, but I always thought that she would not allow me to get that close to her." She turned her eyes to the floor.
Session 2
Mara wanted to discuss the responses that the women gave to their questions, prior to their sessions being conducted. She asked them how hearing the other's answers made them feel. Nyota had not felt much. She admitted that Christine had said precisely what she thought that she might say. Christine proved Nyota right again, by responding exactly how Nyota thought she would respond to hearing the answers, too. Christine said, "I was hurt, but not angry. If I am angry with anyone, it is myself. I'm so thankful that I have those flowers in my room, otherwise, I may never smile. Hopefully one day, Miss Uhura will prove herself wrong and she can grow to forgive me, but if that day does not come, I understand."
Christine stared at Nyota for a short moment, then added, "But I was surprised in her disgust with me. She spoke as though I am the lowest form of scum for what I did to her. I think that she has had some disgusting behavior, as well. The way that she treated Mr. Spock, for example..."
"Don't you dare talk about how I treat my husband," Nyota warned.
"This is the time to get our thoughts and feelings out. I think that how you treated Mr. Spock was worse than what I did to you. He is your husband. You are supposed to love and cherish him through the worse of times, and you let him down and made him lonely and confused while he was already in as much pain as you were, if not more..." Christine said.
"I know that!" Nyota snapped. "I know it, and it is something that he and I are working on, because it is worth the work. You are not worth these few measly hours out of my life, Christine. And whatever your opinion of how I treated Spock, he is still with me. When I betray you, then I might think about your opinions."
Christine looked at Dr. Mara and said, "All I meant was that I was taken aback by the fact that she could hate me for what I did to her and not hate herself for what she did to him."
Nyota did not respond. The fact was that she did hate herself for what she did to Spock. She thought about it all of the time, but that was not Christine's business, and Nyota had nothing else to say on that, or on anything else, for the rest of the session.
Session 3, The Beginning
Nyota noticed that she and Christine's chairs were closer together than they had been during the first two sessions. She could only guess that this one would give her a greater headache than the last had. She was thankful for the fact that this was the last one. As soon as she got this out of the way, she could focus more of her attention on things that actually mattered to her.
Dr. Mara smiled at her and hugged her when she entered the door. "I am so glad that you decided to follow through with this particular session. This session is the most important of the three."
"I guess that's why this session is three hours long?" Nyota asked. Mara simply smiled and placed a hand out towards the table. Nyota looked at a tray full of treats, a tea kettle, with cups, and back at Mara. "Are we having a tea party?"
"Yes, we are," Mara said. "Please be seated."
Christine entered the room with puffy red eyes, as though she had been crying. She sat down and said, "Can we start, now, please?"
"What's wrong?" Nyota reflexively asked.
"Can we please just begin?" Christine asked, almost frantically.
Now, Mara rushed to her and held her hands as she asked, "Seriously, Christine, what is wrong?"
"Someone got into my quarters. They ripped my flowers up, my happiness flowers, and they painted obscenities all over my room and on my door, to call me names and I really just want to get this started so at least I can be done with this," Christine answered. She added, "As though it isn't bad enough that I overheard Janice and one of the other nurses talking about me at work today: Nurse – Here comes Chapel, keep an eye on your husband. Janice – My husband may prefer blonds, but he has no time for bimbos."
Nyota actually felt bad for her, and offered, "Mara, maybe I should leave and we should reschedule this last session for a time when Christine is not feeling so badly."
"Honestly, we can do it today. I am not going to feel any better on next week. I really just want to get this over so that I don't have to deal with you anymore," Christine said. "I really tried to show that I was sorry and that I know that I made a mistake, and I guess my best just wasn't good enough."
Nyota tilted her head and asked, "Are you accusing me of vandalizing your quarters? Because that's ridiculous, and that's not how I attack. I have shown you how I attack – face to face, not behind your back. That's your field, Chris – behind people's backs. I have found that a punch in the back doesn't hurt as much as a punch in the face. The rule probably applies to stabs too, maybe next time you should try my method."
Christine sat still for an extended period of time, then looked at Nyota and said, "I don't know if you know this, but you can not return to work until after this last session is over. I am trying to make it complete, now. It is now or never, Nyota. I do not mind holding you back, if that is what you really want. Can we start this thing, Dr. Mara?"
Mara said, "We certainly can, if both of you ladies agree that you wish to continue on and complete the session?" They both looked at each other, then nodded. Mara went on to say, "Today's session is a particularly important one. This is the session that I intended to have the two of you finally address what happened to you at the hands of the Platonians. Neither of you have spoken to each other about it, and both of you need to."
"I don't know if I will be able to..." Nyota offered.
Mara gave her a smile and said, "I figured that neither of you would be able to do so, so this is what I propose. Neither of you have to, but if you wish, you can have tea. This is no ordinary tea. This tea contains truth serum. It is a special blend of tea given to me as a gift by one of my former patients. If you would like to have the tea and talk, you have some. If you do not, we can talk, and I hope that you will try to tell the truth."
Nyota pushed a teacup towards Mara and said, "I will do it if she will."
Christine sighed and pushed her teacup towards Mara, as well. She said, "Why not? Maybe if she can see that I have been telling the truth all along, she will stop being so hateful to me." This comment caused Nyota to chuckle, slightly. Christine had no idea how much mercy that Nyota had on her. If she wanted to see her to be hateful, Nyota knew that she still had some punch left in her and she wanted to use as many of them as she could muster on the woman, but... growth and moving on were a must.
Mara poured the tea into their cups and said, "Now, ladies, if you will drink, I will wait a few moments until the serum has settled in, and I will have you both talk about that day, and about today."
Nyota forced a smile, lifted her teacup to Christine and said, "Cheers."
Christine nodded her head once and clanked her cup against Nyota's. Then, they both drank.