Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any other Registered, Trademarked, or Copyrighted material found within this story.

iJust Don't Know

Feelings

By: Tech-Man

Sam felt her entire body freeze when the door opened. The dork, her dork, was standing in the middle of the door frame with his goofy chef apron on. She could smell the aroma of fried chicken and ribs slowly filling the house. Even the smell of food couldn't distract her from Freddie's face. He looked scared to death, and at the same time more peaceful than she had ever seen him. Seemingly, without any form of prompting Freddie abruptly moved to the side of the door allowing Sam to enter the house.

Slowly, she walked in; walking past Freddie and into the living room. She was startled when she recognized all of his old furniture from his apartment. That really shouldn't have surprised her, but it had. Until that moment she hadn't realized just how much she had missed cuddling with Freddie on that couch. Sam was torn from her thoughts as the front door shut behind her. Out of pure reflex she turned to see where Freddie had gone but he wasn't standing where he had been a moment ago.

"I have prepared your dinner as requested Princess Puckett," Freddie spoke softly from behind causing her to complete the turn and return to her original position. Freddie's eyes were downcast looking at the top of his shoes with great interest. His voice held the air of defeat, but when he finally raised his eyes from the floor there was a fire burning in them she doubted she had ever seen before.

Nodding her head once she started towards the table she could see sitting in the dining room. Before she made it a foot she felt a hand gently grab her arm. "Sam," Freddie began turning the blonde from her course. "I hope a hug isn't too much to ask for," Freddie shrugged trying to smile.

Sam felt a pang in her chest at the look on Freddie's face. Until that moment she hadn't realized just how much pain she had caused him. Taking a purposeful step towards him she enveloped him in a hug trying to convey with that touch what she knew she would never be able to say out loud. Sam could feel the tension in Freddie's body melting away at her touch and he released a breath she hadn't noticed that he had been holding.

Pulling back, but still keeping his arms around her Freddie whispered a quick thank you before giving her the first real smile she had seen in a long time. Freddie dropped his hands from Sam's waist and started towards the table. Thinking quickly Sam reached out and grabbed Freddie's hand intertwining their fingers and giving a gentle squeeze.

Freddie looked at Sam then down at their hands before granting her another smile. "I've really missed you," he said leading her towards the table. Arriving at the table he dropped her hand in favor of pulling the chair out for her like he used to do when they went on dates. She always called him a nub or a dork for his gentlemanly ways, but she loved it when he treated her like the princess he always claimed her to be.

"Listen," Sam spoke for the first time since entering Freddie's house. "I am not good with all of this touchy feely crap," she said harshly. Her face softened as she looked towards the dork, her dork. "But I've kinda missed your dorkish ways too...maybe," Sam argued suddenly finding the plate in front of her extremely interesting.

Sam felt Freddie's hands gently grab her chin directing it upwards away from the table to make her face him. Before she could get out a single word or thought his lips touched hers and the world ceased to exist. When he kissed her she felt like a hole in her chest that she hadn't known existed closed. She was lost in a world of her own thoughts until she felt him try and deepen the kiss. Responding eagerly she allowed his tongue to trace the contours of her mouth as her tongue reciprocated the act. Without conscious thought Sam's hands wound themselves into Freddie's hair as his gently cupped her face and neck.

Separating for air the two looked into each others eyes trying to decipher the very soul of the other. Freddie was the first to break eye contact moving away from Sam and towards the opposite side of the table. Freddie smiled at the disappointed look adorning Sam's face. "Hey, don't look so sad. I know you are hungry and I really think that we need to talk about where our relationship is going before we get caught up in the physical pleasures," Freddie explained pulling out the napkin from the table and folding it neatly in his lap.

Sam seemed to ignore his remarks, instead tearing into the meal with a gusto that he had not seen displayed in months. She ate everything on her end before changing chairs to be closer to Freddie's food. Freddie just watched as she ate all of the food provided not even bothering to place any on his plate. Sam seemed to steadily slow down her speed after she finished off the fourth plate in a row.

Looking up from the chicken wing she was currently devouring she looked from Freddie's face to his plate. "I see you haven't forgotten how to eat with me," Sam said through her napkin as she cleared off the barbecue sauce on her mouth. Freddie just smiled reaching over and rubbing his thumb across her jaw removing some sauce she had missed. Then without thinking proceeded to suck the sauce from his own thumb.

"Sam, I still love you. I'm still in love with you," Freddie started when it looked like Sam was done eating for the moment. "I can't pretend that I understand why you said no or why you said that you never loved me," Freddie whispered the last piece the pain evident in his softly spoken voice.

Sam was unsure of what to say next, Freddie seemed to be lost within himself as he stared just above her head. "Freddie," Sam began rather meekly gaining courage as she continued, "why don't we go over and sit down on the couch."

Freddie nodded, standing up and offering his hand to Sam. She took it and left the familiar jolt that surged through her body whenever she touched him. Carly had tried to explain to her that it was those little things that made you love a person. Sam knew that she was bad with emotions, at least emotions other than rage and hate, but it wasn't until she had royally messed everything up that she realized just how bad she was at dealing with her own feelings.

Hesitantly, she reached out feeling the familiar tingle she always associates with Freddie's touch. As he gently pulled her up she reacted out of pure instinct and crushed her body against his. Reaching up she tangled her hands into his hair relishing in the soft feel. Freddie responded without missing a beat capturing her lips with his. Not wanting to by outdone Sam deepened the kiss tracing the front of his teeth with her tongue as Freddie's tongue teasingly played with hers.

Breaking apart the two stared into each others eyes for a long time seeming to weigh the intentions of the other. "Sam," Freddie seemed to hesitate on her name. "Look, I love you. You know I love you, but I have to know if you love me back."

Sam hung her head in shame looking at Freddie's chest. "I..I just don't know," Sam responded continuing to stare a hole in Freddie's chest. She could feel Freddie flexing his arms and hands where they still held onto her. It seemed like forever to her before he started breathing again.

Releasing a deep breath he had been holding he stepped back. Taking a chance Sam looked up from his chest to look into his eyes. "Look Sam," Freddie began taking another step away from her. "I really can't do this," the complete defeat and overwhelming defeat in his voice nearly crushed Sam beneath its weight.

"Freddie," Sam cried out grabbing a hold of him and pulling him close. "Look, I...I'm not...not...good at this. I feel like I am giving away myself; like I am losing control," Sam desperately explained into his chest. Freddie could feel the moisture from her silent tears soaking into his shirt.

Freddie moved his hands from where they had been stationary at his side and enveloped Sam in a hug while the silent sobs racked her body. Mentally, he scolded himself for demanding something that he should have known she couldn't give. He should have known that this kind of thing wasn't something she was ever going to be comfortable with. Gently, he guided her over to the couch pulling her into his lap. "Sam, I am so sorry," Freddie started not really knowing what he was apologizing for, but knowing that he felt bad.

Sam clutched at his chest like it was the only stable object in the universe. Slowly, she lifted herself up till she was looking him in the face again. Freddie smiled as he witnessed the change from this fragile creature that he had only seen a few brief times. The vulnerability washed away as the old Samantha Puckett determination took its place. Freddie wondered if this was the good kind of determination or the one that usually resulted in his pain either physical, emotional, or psychological. His question was answered when Sam leaned in crushing her lips against his. The kiss was brief, but filled with emotion. Pulling away she positioned herself more conventionally on the couch.

"Freddie," Sam said her voice like a warning. "Keep your mouth shut while I speak or so help me I will beat you black and blue before we are done," Sam threatened narrowing her eyes in a glare.

Freddie smiled at the look on her face. This was how Sam did business, she couldn't do anything without at least threatening someone with bodily harm. Not wanting to risk the beginning of a beating he raised his hands in surrender signaling her to continue.

Sam took a deep breath before reaching out and grabbing one of Freddie's hands intertwining her fingers with his. Taking a look at their hands before retraining her gaze on Freddie's face she inhaled a deep breath before slowly exhaling. "Look Freddork, I...I'm not very good at dealing with this mushy crap. I have a real poor track record when it comes to guys," Sam started off slowly picking up the speed and courage as each syllable escaped her lips.

Freddie looked like he was about to say something so Sam shot him a warning glare and he quickly shut his lips. "It just seems like that the moment I admit that I may have feelings for a guy he does something to ruin it. I wanted what we have or had," Sam shook her head in a vain attempt to settle her scattered thoughts, "to work. So I have tried to bury the feelings so they wouldn't get in the way and here now that very thing is destroying us," Sam's voice hitched on the last word and without thinking Freddie reached out dropping her hand in favor of enveloping her in another hug.

It had never occurred to him how much she thought she was to blame for those past failures. Then the guilt that he was trying to force her into something that she didn't want hit him. He was prepared to apologize for everything tell her that he would never bring up marriage or needing to hear her say the words that he had dreamed about coming from her mouth. His prepared speech was interrupted by Sam pushing off his chest and starting again.

"The truth is Freddie," Sam said his name like some precious item," I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything, and I don't want to lose you," Sam looked into his eyes pleading silently for understanding.

"I love you too Sam," Freddie spoke softly and slowly. "I am so sorry that I tried to force you into something you were not comfortable with. "So does this mean that we are still together," Freddie asked hopefully.

Sam smiled before rearing back her fist and punching him in the shoulder. "Of course you dork, did you think that I would go through all of that crap and then dump you. You just better be damn happy that I love you or I would dump your ass faster than you could say sweet chiz," Sam said her classic smirk playing on her lips.

Freddie's shoulder stung from the impact of her fist, but the joy over hearing those words was more then sufficient to push the pain into the back of his mind. That smirk however drew his lips to hers like a magnet. Once they touched the two lost themselves in the kiss as hands roamed freely over each others bodies trying to familiarize themselves again.

Pulling back, Sam found herself straddling Freddie on the couch. Looking at her current position and then back at Freddie she raised her eyebrows in a suggestive glance. "I think we should take this to the bedroom, what do you say," Sam asked leaning down and licking the tip of Freddie's nose. Before she could even blink she found herself hoisted onto his shoulder as he raced down the hall...

A/N: I hope that everyone is satisfied with this turn in the story. I would like to thank SamLovesHam92, MyJumpingSocks, and Pigwiz for their help in this story. They may not realize it, but they played an important role in bringing this chapter to life. Now please do me the honor of letting me know what you thought of it.